Tears pooled her eyes. “No! I gave myself to you so you would have something to remember. I’m sorry I never told you. I didn’t want you to worry.”
“So you put your wall up. If we’re to even have a relationship, you have to be honest with me, Ava. I don’t care what it is. We’ll work through it together. But you act like you’re in this whole thing alone. Like I’m not even a part of your world. I give you my all. Am I not worthy to be told that my girlfriend is linked to Havok and may die? What did you want me to think? That you died in battle when I know damn well you’re stronger than him?”
“Please stop yelling. I’m sorry.”
“I can’t be here right now. I’ll see you later.”
“No, please don’t leave.”
But it was too late. He’d already teleported out of her room. Her chest tightened and she clutched it. She knew she should have told him the truth earlier. But what difference could it have made? She was still going to die. Unless they could miraculously empower one of the Elders and hope they knew the spell to remove the curse.
Ava didn’t want to sleep alone that night, but Gabriel had left. She knew she had crossed a huge line with him. She didn’t know why she always kept things to herself. She brought her knees to her chest and lay down on the bed, hugging herself, letting the tears soak into her pillow.
Only one way to end the war was to kill Havok. Which still left Ava dead. She didn’t want to die, but she had no other choice.
The sobs were rampant now, almost to the point of hysteria. She couldn’t help it though. Knowing the answers didn’t help at all. And feeling trapped in Caprington weighed on her. It smothered her, and changed her. She had become an emotionless robot, desensitized of everything. Even killing. At least, perhaps she would have a peaceful death.
***
Ava strode through the frantically screaming crowd. Fire consumed the village, and her army was killing every single person. She smiled as she watched death all around her. She loved hearing their fear echo into the night. She took a deep breath, and raised her hand, forcing a man into the air without touching him. The man flailed his legs, and with wide eyes, attempted to remove the invisible object that choked him.
She squeezed harder, watching with fascination as the man’s face turned blue. The veins on his temples pulsated until, slowly, there was no heartbeat.
Releasing the man, he dropped to the ground in a heap of bones and flesh.
A blood curdling scream caught her attention, and when she turned, she saw fire snaking its way up a woman’s body, scorching her, as she was tied to a stake. Her flesh slowly burned away, and the man next to her, wept, but soon the fire killed him, too.
“Mommy! Daddy!” Ava heard the cries of a small child. She saw the young boy toddling toward his burning parents, but she scooped him up into her arms.
Then she saw black. She could hear the panic around her, but couldn’t see. She cradled the boy against her chest, and the blackness dissipated. She pulled the child back slightly to look at him. He was an Enchanter. And even at a young age, the boy impressed her with his strength. She could see the tenacity in his dark eyes. She wouldn’t kill him. Instead, she would raise him as her own.
Ava slowly opened her eyes. They stung, and weighed heavily. Had she just dreamed about Xavier? Or was that another one of Havok’s memories forcing its way into her mind? As she focused on the dream more, she stilled. Havok killed Xavier’s parents. Which meant one of them was an Ephemeral.
It was the break she needed to convince Xavier to join them. Would he believe her though? She would have to tell him the truth. Every bit of it. He had come clean with her, and it was only fair that she did the same. She wasn’t sure how to talk to him, and she knew it would be a big risk.
“Ava?”
His voice startled her. She jumped and sat up, rubbing her face. She felt the bed beside her dip down and then felt Gabriel take her hand. He pulled her to him and held her tight. Relief washed over her, but she still felt guilty.
“I’m sorry I left. You hurt my feelings, Ava. But more importantly, this is something we have to figure out because I refuse to let you die.”
“I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t want you obsessing over this, too. Link found a grimoire and has been practicing spells. We called the spirits and they will help us in the war. I saw my mother, who offered her soul in place of mine when I kill Havok.”
“Wow. What else did she say?”
“She apologized, and said she was sure Havok would have died before I was even born. I didn’t say much.”
“That’s understandable. So she offered to take the place of your soul? How will that work?”
“She’ll possess my body. Only right before Havok dies,” she added once Gabriel tensed.
He shook his head. “I don’t like this.”
“I don’t either. But it’s our only option. And that’s if she shows up.”
“You don’t think she will?”
“I don’t know. Kinda hard to trust a mother who abandoned me, and who’s also a spirit.”
“True. Why didn’t you tell me, Ava?”
“I haven’t had a chance to tell you about my mom. It happened just before Moscow and then the Hunters attacked. I just want it to be over,” she whispered. Tears pooled behind her eyelids, and leaked out.
“It will be. And I promise I won’t leave your side again.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
BATTLE PREP
Ava breathed in and out. Today, she would die. That was if her mother didn’t show. And if she didn’t defeat all of her opponents. For the last two weeks, the Hunters had trained with the powerless Elders and Enchanters. Havok had yet to announce a city to destroy, which concerned Ava. What was he waiting for? Surely, he hadn’t known a much larger force was about to attack. Otherwise, he would have killed those involved.
Anais gathered a few people on their side, and they had spread the word. Ava hoped that they really were all on their side and none would betray them. They needed this to work.
She closed her eyes. Her stomach curled, and she felt faint. Her knees weakened. It was hot and the room spun. She moved to the bed and sank down onto it, holding her head in her hands.
Ava didn’t move. She focused on her breathing, and something came to her. She kept seeing a baby with black hair in her mind. She focused on the image, and then it consumed her.
Corbin lifted the sweet child from its crib. Its dark eyes held so much happiness and sweetness. It looked like Colden. Corbin laughed and held the baby close to his chest.
“You will become a beautiful force, Esmerelda. My sweet girl.”
The baby babbled as she grabbed at Corbin’s face. He was filled with so much love.
“What power do you think she’ll possess?” a woman with long black hair moved in front of him. She had deep dark blue eyes. She was beautiful, and every time she smiled that sweet smile, Corbin’s heart skipped a beat.
“Impossible strength. A heart of gold. Fearlessness. She will be one of the greatest Enchanters who ever lived. And she will be remembered as such.”
The woman scooped the baby in her arms, and she cooed over the girl. “I see it. All of it.”
Corbin watched his beautiful wife smiling at their child, and he found himself grinning like a fool. “I have found the true purpose in my life, Lenorah. I will protect you until the end of time, and I will let nothing harm you.”
Lenorah gave that sweet smile. “I love you, Corbin.” She reached up and kissed him softly.
He wished that kiss could’ve lasted forever.
“Ava?”
She raised her head, and Gabriel kneeled down in front of her. His crystal blue eyes staring into hers. She reached out and touched his face. “I’m so scared.”
He pulled her to him and tightly wrapped his arms around her. “Me too.” He kissed the side of her head and then held her face between his hands. He searched her eyes and pressed his lips to hers. His kiss was deep
and intense, giving his all. She wanted more. She didn’t want it to be their last. She wanted a lifetime with Gabriel.
When he pulled away, he swept aside her hair. The pained look in his eyes was too unbearable for Ava.
“I love you,” she said. “You’ve been everything to me since the first day I met you. You were an unexpected surprise. And the only thing that made sense in all of this chaos. You always made me realize what was important.”
He shook his head. “Don’t say your goodbyes Ava.”
“I need you to give this to my dad.” She pulled out a note from her pocket.
“I’m not giving it to him. You are.”
“Gabe, please. We both know—.”
“Please don’t say it.” A lone tear escaped his eye.
Someone knocked on her door, and Gabriel disappeared. Ava cleared her tears and answered it.
Melissa stood on the other side, her face grave. “We’re meeting at Klaus’s at ten sharp.”
Ava nodded. “I’ll be there. I just have one thing to do before.”
“Okay.”
She closed the door. A few moments later, she felt arms around her waist. She inhaled juniper and gripped his hands. She turned to face him and buried her face in his chest. He slowly rubbed her back. They stayed like that for a while. She peered out into the black night and felt his breath travel the top of her hair. She never wanted to say goodbye.
“It’s almost time,” she said.
“I don’t want to let you go.”
“I don’t either.”
He kissed her once more, and there was a sense of urgency, yet sadness. She could’ve sworn she felt his lips tremble. Ava wished she could do something to take away his pain.
“I love you with all my heart,” he whispered and then he was gone.
Her chest tightened, and she choked back the tears that lodged in her throat. She had to be strong. Brave. It didn’t matter that her heart weighed a thousand pounds.
When Ava peered out the window, she saw ravens flying above the castle. One flew low, its deep croaking voice echoed in the night. It was for her, symbolizing her death. She would sacrifice herself in order to kill Havok.
Taking a few deep breaths, she slowly turned off her emotions. She had to see Xavier before they called the spirits.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
MAN ON FIRE
Ava ran down the hall, hoping Xavier was in his room and not his apartment. When she reached his door, she turned the knob and let herself in. She pressed her back against the door as it closed. He was peering out the window, and turned around. There was only a single lamp beside his bed lighting the room.
“Ava. What are you doing here?” he asked, moving closer.
“I have to tell you something.”
“What is it? Is everything okay?”
She had to tell him, but it was difficult when he could easily use his ability on her. She was fast though and knew she could take care of herself.
“What is it?” he asked again.
She took a deep breath. “I remember everything. You kidnapping Ephemerals and turning them into Enchanters. Taking Peter from me. My house burning. You torturing me when I was in a coma. All of it.”
“What? How is that possible?” All the blood from his face drained.
“Klaus never took our memories away. We’ve been faking it the whole time.” She expected him to lunge for her. Strangle her. Anything.
But he stood there in shock.
Finally, he opened his mouth. He struggled for the words. “You’ve been living like us this whole time? And you knew the truth all along? Why would you do that?”
She knew everything she told him could potentially wreck all the plans they had made. She knew he could easily go to Havok and tell him everything. But a part of her knew he wouldn’t. “Ever since we got here, we’ve been planning to kill Havok and the Cimmerians.”
Xavier’s dark eyes bulged, but she saw a little fear in them. Then, his face contorted into what looked like concern or pity.
“When we joined, it was all a ruse. We got lucky that Klaus didn’t actually alter our minds. He told us we were the ones to take down Havok.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched, and she silently cursed. He scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. His eyes revealed the old Xavier that she had always known before. Cold and hateful. “So everything you ever said or did was a lie? It was all under false pretenses?”
“No, it wasn’t. I got to know you and many other Cimmerians. You’re not at all what I thought you were. None of you are. You’re all like us. Forced into a world that none of us were ready for. We were both used to fight in someone else’s war. We were born to think certain things and believe certain truths. It was never our war. But it’s up to us to end it.”
Xavier relaxed a little. “I can’t believe this.”
“You and I have gotten to know each other well, and you’ve given me more than most people have. You gave me the truth, and I appreciate that. It allowed me to make a decision that I truly believe in. You’ve shown me a completely different side of you. A side that I actually like. I spent so much time hating you, but now, as much as I hate to say it, I like you as a friend.”
“The Elders told you to hate me.”
“They didn’t know you existed. I made that decision on my own.”
He nodded. “I know I’m not the best person.” He threw his hands up in the air. “But you make me want to be a better person. You showed me a different way of living. One that didn’t always have to include constantly killing and being in an army. I hate myself for what I did to you. Every day I think about that. And everything else I’ve done. That’s why I know you could never love me.”
Ava couldn’t help but feel a little sad for him. “You’re right. I don’t love you, and I never will.”
His shoulders drooped and he nodded. “I know. And I understand.”
“I hate how Havok raised you. I hate that he put all these malicious thoughts in your head. I hate that it all made you evil. But you’ve started turning it around. You can become that person who I know you want to be.”
“Ava, I—no. There’s no redemption for me.”
“Of course there is. Join me in taking down Havok. Help me end this war. Give yourself the chance to redeem your life. Will you join me?”
He was quiet for what seemed like an eternity, studying her. He took a step forward and shook his head. “No, Ava.”
“Why? I know he raised you, but we can end the war. You’re miserable living like this. You can start over. You can live your life.” She wanted to tell him the truth about his parents. But she didn’t want to drop a bomb on him. She also didn’t want Xavier to fight Havok out of revenge. There was already too much revenge.
“I won’t kill my father, Ava. Even though I may not like this lifestyle, he is my father.”
“Xavier, he’s not much of a father if he would kill you for disagreeing with him. He’s not going to stop. His revenge should’ve ended years ago. Join us.”
“I’m not going to kill my father. And you should stop all of this.”
“It’s too late. This is happening.”
He grabbed her by the arms and slightly shook her. “Stop, Ava! You can’t kill him.” She could’ve sworn his eyes welled.
“Are you really upset about us killing Havok?” It was a mean thing to say, but she knew Xavier never really cared for his adopted father.
His eyes snapped to hers. “No. If you kill him, it will kill you.”
That took her off guard. “You knew?”
He released his grip on her arms and looked away. “Yes. I knew what your mom did.”
“This whole time you’ve been using that to get me to become allies with you?”
“Yes. I wanted you to become one of us. Not because of Havok’s mission. But because I love you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” she snapped.
He ran his hands down the length of
his face. “It’s because I’m messed up, Ava. You know that. I want to help you bring him down. I want to end all of this. But I can’t do it at the price of your life.”
“You don’t get to choose what happens to me. I’ve done terrible things, too. I’m ready to sacrifice myself.”
“And I can’t help you.”
“You’d rather be miserable than be happy?”
His eyes met hers. “Ava, I wouldn’t be happy either way.”
“Does this mean you’re going to try and stop me?”
“No. I won’t stop you. I won’t even fight you.”
“But you can’t join me?”
“In helping you get yourself killed?”
“Xavier, don’t look at it like that. Look at what will be. No more warring. No more constant training or always being on the lookout. No more looking over your shoulder.”
He sighed. “Ava, it wouldn’t be worth living without you.”
“Stop making it about me. I’m not the only thing that matters, and I shouldn’t be. Even if I did survive this, we wouldn’t be together.”
“It’s not about that. Look at it from my perspective. You wouldn’t want someone you loved to die.”
“But I’m saving lives, Xavier. Enchanters. Ephemerals. Even Cimmerians. That’s worth dying for.”
“So are you.”
“Fight for what you believe,” she raised her voice. “Fight for what you want. It’s your life. You make the decisions and decide your fate. Fight with me so you can live free.”
After a long moment of silence, he looked at her. “I’m sorry, Ava. I can’t.”
She backed off. He wasn’t going to give in. All because of her. But he was deciding his own fate. That was all that she asked. She couldn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want to. “Okay. Okay.”
“I know it’s probably hard for you to understand. Even though I want that life, I don’t deserve all of those things. I don’t deserve to live a life of freedom. Do what you must. I won’t help you kill Havok. And I won’t stop you.”
“Maybe in another lifetime, we could’ve been friends.”
Under an Onyx Sky (Elemental Enchanters Series Book 4) Page 23