“What is this?”
He scanned the screen then pulled his android out of his pocket and checked it. “Yep, got mine, too. Wonder what’s up this time.” He tucked it away and returned mine. “Want a ride?”
“Chair, remember? Won’t fit in your little speeder.”
He grinned. “I also have a motorcycle.”
I tried to picture myself on it. “And the chair would go where?”
“I wasn’t suggesting you ride the bike to the meeting. But I have it here, if you would like to take a spin.”
I blinked at him. “I just woke up, so I’m going to assume that crazy idea was part of a dream and you haven’t totally blown your senses. I can barely walk a dozen feet on a really good day, and you are suggesting I climb on the back of your death machine and hope not to fall off?”
He gave me a pitying look. “You don’t think I’m stupid, do you? I’m really hurt.”
“Then what are you suggesting?” Maybe he was kidding. I never got jokes until after coffee.
“I am suggesting you come out here, and I’ll take you for a ride to get coffee. No walking required once you climb aboard the Beast.” His gaze roamed over me from head to toe with some significant pauses in between. “You might want to get dressed first. It’s sunny but cool out here.”
My cheeks burned as I remembered what I’d worn to bed. With my fuzzy pj’s all in the laundry, I’d dug out the thin cotton nightgown I rarely wore since I’d had wolves outside my window. Okay never…so how had I forgotten? A peek down showed it clinging to my modest curves and, with the early sunlight beating in the window, it might as well have been transparent.
“I’ll be back!” I grasped the rocker and stepped into a spot to the side where shadows still lingered.
“I’ll meet you out front,” he countered and disappeared.
He couldn’t be serious. With my weak legs, featuring nearly zero muscle tone, I’d never be able to grip the bike and would end up completely incapacitated. Now way in hell! I was so focused on my outrage and disbelief at his behavior, I found myself in the bathroom before I realized what I’d done.
Gripping the sink, I peeked out the door all the way to the window. How far was it? I didn’t have a tape measure, but I did have the knowledge I’d situated my bed in such a way I’d be able to get from there to the bathroom under my own power. So less than a dozen feet. But the window was at least as far again.
Holy hell. Was the doctor right? Was it all in my mind?
And if so…what could I do about it? My knees wobbled so hard, it took all my arm strength to stay upright.
Shoving those thoughts away for later, I showered, sitting on the safety stool, then dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, ran a comb through my hair, and slipped my feet into sneakers before settling in my chair and rolling outside to explain to Brandon why I was not going on his motorcycle. As if it had to be said.
I opened the door to outside, letting in more gorgeous sunlight. What a beautiful day. And the bike parked at the curb was all chrome and leather and temptation. The man standing by it, wearing a helmet and holding out a second, was far more dangerous than his motorcycle.
“Let’s go.” He approached me, smiling. “This is going to mess up your hair. Fair warning.”
“Oh, I didn’t style—wait!” But he was fastening the strap under my chin. “Brandon! I am not going to try to ride behind you on that thing. It’s not possible.”
“No, probably not.” He scooped me from the chair and reached out to close the door before striding toward the sidewalk. “Which is why you will ride in front of me.”
I clung to him, fingertips digging into his very developed biceps. “Take me back to the house right now or I’ll…” I tried to think of an effective threat. Nothing came to mind.
Brandon slung a leg over the saddle and sat down, settling me in front of him. “You’ll what?” His voice held far too much humor for my current state of fright. “What will you do,” he murmured close to my helmet-covered ear. “Tell me.”
The engine roared as he started it up before wrapping an arm around my waist. “I will tell the alpha!” I shouted, not sure he’d be able to hear it.
But he did. “You can tell him tonight.” He tugged me closer until my bottom was firmly settled against his groin. I tried to shift forward, but he held tighter. “This was his idea. Now, relax, and don’t lean into the turns. Let me control her, okay?”
Her…the bike was a girl. Made sense. He had total control of me at the moment. The engine purred under us, his body was a solid wall behind me, and I was almost as turned-on as terrified when he drove us down the street.
I held on to the arm locked around my waist, since I couldn’t find anything else to cling to. He headed out toward the edge of town, and I got more scared, afraid he going for the highway. If my heart was pounding this hard with the speedometer reading thirty-five, my heart would explode at seventy or more. But though my previously undiscovered daredevil side was hoping for it, in a very small way, I let out a breath of relief when he went only as far as the coffee house at the far end of Main Street.
After helping me to my feet, he tucked the helmets in saddlebags hanging off the bike and walked me to a cafe table a few feet away. He had a way of looping an arm around me that let me seem much more able than I knew myself to be. Lattes and apple fritters had never tasted better than they did while I sat in a pool of sunlight, talking with a handsome wolf, after a motorcycle ride of all things.
I never saw it coming.
Chapter Twelve
I got myself to the pack meeting, turning down offers from Brandon and a couple of the other guys who texted me throughout the day. I appreciated their kindness, but after starting to find my feet, my independence, it would be far too easy to let them do everything for me. Their kind protectiveness was like a warm blanket, one that told me everything would be okay no matter what. And that was good. But I wanted to be their equals, as much I could. To learn what I could contribute to this pack who had accepted me with such insistence. Who gave of their time and strength to ensure my safety—from what I wasn’t sure.
The other pack, true, but I was just one female. One female who could not shift. Why would the others want me? Not for sex alone, although I understood they sought that. But if they were out to rape, why me specifically? Because of my limitations? Did they get off on hurting those who could not defend themselves well?
Or was there more to it?
I pulled up at the alpha’s house and parked in the same spot as before, feeling less nervous this time. It was so strange having so many places to go after my previous life of online schooling and rarely leaving the house. Between classes, work at the library, and the pack’s busy social and business schedule, I felt run off my feet—my wheels, I guess—sometimes. But I liked it. I was tired at night true, but I woke energized in the mornings with plans for the day running through my mind. I followed the crowd around the house to the back where there were several smallish bonfires surrounded by chairs. In the center, stood the alpha, looking impatient as his pack all found seats.
Brandon, Cash, Moss, and Escher, along with Christie sat at the same pit with a few others I’d seen but didn’t know, and Christie waved me over. I didn’t feel awkward at all to see the men who I’d been attracted to in one place, at least that was the lie I told myself. I remained in my chair since there was an opening large enough for me to roll up, and the alpha began to speak.
He talked about various administrative matters, most of which were either over my head or meant little to me, but I supposed if I stuck around long enough, I’d understand some of these money matters and rule violations. After about ten minutes, he clapped his hands and announced a run. From the way the formerly fidgety crowd leapt to its feet almost as one and shed their clothing, you’d think they were more than eager for the run. They shifted, leaving their clothes on the chairs they’d occupied, and disappeared into the wood.
All but one.
“Don’t you want to run?” I turned to face the single person besides me still remaining beside the fire. “I don’t mind waiting here.”
Christie stood up and moved the clothing off the chair next to me, tossing it on the one she’d occupied. “Nah, I’m okay. It’s a nice evening to sit by the fire and chat. Don’t you think?”
I eyed her closely. “Really, I don’t want to ruin your night. Go and have fun!”
“I ran last night,” she said, leaning closer. “But how often do we get a chance to sit and chat like this?”
“Uh-huh.” I began to get suspicious about her motives. “So, what do you want to chat about?”
She moved forward and poked the fire with a stick, making sparks fly. “Oh I don’t know. I thought the alpha made some good points, didn’t you?”
“Sure, not that I have much background in pack finance or regulations.” I rolled my eyes. “Any other topics?”
“We already covered the weather, huh?”
“Christie, out with it.” We both knew what she wanted to gossip about, and the sooner we got it over with the better.
“All right. You’ve got me. Want a marshmallow first?” She pulled a bag out from somewhere and held it up. “I also have chocolate and graham crackers.”
“Sure, why not?” If I was going to be grilled, it might as well be over gooey, delicious snacks. “But talk while you toast.” I stood up and stepped past her to the next empty seat and moved the clothes on it to the next chair, on top of the pile there, hoping I wasn’t violating any rules. Or that I wouldn’t be caught. “I need to sit lower to do my own marshmallows. Got an extra stick?”
We sat a while in silence, getting our first s’more ready. I had not had the experience since camping with my folks as a little girl, but the memory felt particularly strong tonight, and, without meaning to, I told Christine about them. How pretty Mom was and how she and Dad were so in love.
“I guess it was best they went together,” I said, finally. “I don’t think either would have lasted long on their own. I don’t have a lot of strong memories, but their love…that I have.”
“I bet they would have preferred at least one of them made it to raise their daughter,” she murmured, holding her creation up to the firelight.”
My eyes swam with tears. I swiped them away. “Darn smoke,” I complained. “But thank you for saying so. It’s pretty weird to miss people who’ve been gone far longer than you knew them, but there it is.”
“Your parents,” she said, nodding. “Anyone would miss their parents.”
“Yeah.”
We fell into silence again while we ate our first s’mores then, as we were nibbling the third each, we heard howling in the distance. “They’ll be back soon,” Christie said. “How did you manage to enchant all four of those guys?”
“Enchant? Is this a fairy tale?” I took a crunch and chewed slowly to avoid answering more, but her giggle told me I fooled nobody. “I mean, which guys?”
“You know which guys. They’ve never paid more than a minute’s attention to any girl; now, they are all focused on you. All the girls are talking about it.”
“They are?” I stood and moved back to my wheelchair before the others made it back to the clearing. I was seated before I remembered I should have put the clothes back where I found them. But with the first wolves’ arrival, it was too late to fix that or to talk about my possible admirers anymore.
Ah well.
Chapter Thirteen
I woke up three times that night in a cold sweat, those dreams about running and being a wolf plaguing me. Once I sat straight up, tears running down my face and, while they were on my skin, and I knew the wetness had come from my eyes, it felt like they belonged to someone else.
The first thing popping into my mind was they came from my wolf.
I was losing it.
Yet, the tears and the dreams didn’t give me the gut feeling anything was mentally wrong with me.
I shifted to look out the window. The moon pushed her lovely glow between the branches, my backyard looking like a stage lit by spotlights of grays. I climbed out of bed and moved carefully to the window, grabbing a hair tie and my phone from the nightstand along the way. I sat in the rocker and tossed my hair up into a messy bun so the breeze could pulse against my clammy neck, cooling me off and simultaneously calming me.
I put my chin on the windowsill and breathed in the night air, knowing someone from the pack was out there, probably watching me act like a goober, but I didn’t care. Closing my eyes, I swallowed against the emotion clogging my throat. The longing and want practically choked me, lodged there like a stone. Last night, I’d left the pack meeting a few minutes after the boys returned. Seeing them running together, almost as one unit, had struck a chord in me. My chest had constricted with a desire so deep it took my breath away as Christie and I watched them shift into their human bodies.
“I’m worried about you. I wish you would let me take you home or at least ride with you. I can run back as a wolf and be safe. It’s really no problem,” Brandon had practically begged me while hanging into my driver’s side window.
I’d told him it was okay. I was fine. But I knew from his furrowed brow and his frown he didn’t believe me. The other guys stood behind him, equally worried expressions marring their otherwise gorgeous faces.
They wouldn’t understand.
Couldn’t understand.
No one could. I had to carry this burden alone.
A howl sliced through the sky like a sharpened knife, ripping me from my thoughts and dropping me back into the moment. I leaned closer to the pane to see if I could recognize it, but saw nothing. Pressing my nose against the screen, I let tears fall. They came like a waterfall dammed for far too long. Like a lifetime of anger, fear, frustration, and loneliness pushed their way through, and once they started, it felt like the flood would never stop. My ears picked up the padding of paws against the dewy forest floor, and my instincts told me the steps belonged to one of the wolves I knew.
“Help me.”
The voice echoed through my head, and I whirled in my seat to see who was in my house, reaching for my phone instinctively. My thumb hovered over the button to call Brandon, but I paused while my heart beat overtime and thrummed like a booming drum between my temples.
I scanned the room for something, anything, anyone who might have made the noise, but other than shadows and my furniture, nothing lay in wait for me.
Nothing at all.
Jeez, maybe I was fucking losing it.
Deciding to keep my window open, I lay back down with my phone pressed to my chest, just in case.
I went to sleep with a prayer to whatever god handled wolf shifters on my lips, and tears still bubbling out of my eyes.
Hours later, I woke up with the sun in my eyes and all of my blankets covering my body. I’d left the window open and, in turn, almost froze in the night. It wasn’t terribly cold, but it was cold enough in the wee hours, and I didn’t have much in the way of muscle and fat to keep me warm.
My chest was lighter, and I plugged my phone in, confident I wouldn’t need to call Brandon after all.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and flexed my toes, giving them a little talking to—giving all of me a little come to Jesus, so to speak.
“Okay, we’re gonna try some things today. I can’t do them alone.” I rolled my eyes at myself. It wasn’t like my legs were detached from me and had a brain. Still, I felt like they’d let me down. They needed to help me instead of working against me from now on.
I looked out the window and smiled at the sun that had taken the place of the moon shining its rays onto my backyard.
There was someone out there, watching me, protecting me, even if I didn’t know it or see them, so if I needed help, I would only have to yell for it. And I would keep my phone in my pocket, just in case.
With a nod full of resolve, I got up and slipped on some shorts and a long-sleeved t
hermal and sneakers instead of flip-flops because there would probably be enough flopping around without those.
Hands braced against the hall and any other flat surface I could press my palms against, I made it down the hallway and to the back door. With another prayer and pep talk from myself, I reached for the doorknob and opened the door, knowing a huge-ass smile took over my face.
I was going to do this.
My toe caught on the threshold and, in minutes, that face with the smile was in the dirt right outside the door.
Perfect start. I rolled over onto my back, but instead of being angry, I let out a gut-busting laugh.
After all, this wasn’t ever going to work if I took myself so fucking seriously. No one should, after all.
It took me about ten minutes to get back on my feet, thanks to the bracing power of my house. I eyed a tree in the distance that looked equally terrifyingly far away and yet strong enough to catch my wobbly ass should I plow right into it.
Here went nothing.
Exhaling, I put one foot in front of the other and kept my focus on the tree. That was my target. I giggled like a little girl as the leaves crunched under my feet and I felt one of the wet leaves tickle against one of my exposed ankles.
I reached up and grabbed one of the low-hanging branches and moved the leaf attached to it between my fingers, taking in its veins and the almost cashmere back of it. I stopped for a second and closed my eyes and inhaled, letting the warm sun beat down on my face.
This was what I’d been longing for, and it reached right into my chest and grabbed some of the sadness and frustration and raw desire and plucked it out.
Not all of it, but this was a start if there ever was one.
It was like I was happy, truly joyful for the first time in a long time.
I took one more step, intent on getting to the tree. Then one of the leaves or something on the forest floor betrayed me. Lurching forward, the tree still in my sights and coming in fast, I screamed out, knowing this was the last time my face and the tree bark would be separate entities.
Survivor: A Shifter of Consequence Tale (Shifters of Consequence Book 1) Page 6