by Carol Lynne
Dray backed off a bit and swallowed Lucky’s seed. He performed the action like he’d done it a hundred times before. For some reason, instead of being elated that he was finally with Dray like he’d always wanted, he felt jealous of the men who’d taught Dray how to suck a dick.
Lucky swung his arm over his face, shielding his eyes from Dray as he tried to work his feelings out.
Dray crawled up Lucky’s body before lying on top of him. He kissed Lucky’s jaw and neck several times before he spoke. “Where’d you go?”
“You’re good at that,” Lucky answered. “Guess I’m just thinking about who you practiced on.”
Dray rolled off Lucky, and Lucky immediately felt chilled.
“I’m not a virgin. You knew that,” Dray growled. “I put everything I had into making your first time a good one.”
Yeah. Lucky knew that. He uncovered his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. “It was better than good,” he confessed. He turned his head to the side to look at Dray. “Don’t pay attention to me. I’m being a jealous asshole who can’t stop thinking about all the men you’ve been with.”
Dray propped his head up on his hand and used his free arm to pull Lucky closer to him. “And you don’t think I’ve wondered how many cunts you’ve eaten and fucked over the years? Just because you’ve never been with a man doesn’t mean I don’t feel jealous of the women you’ve been with.”
“I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that they’ve had what I’ve always dreamed of,” Lucky tried to explain. “Yeah, I see that you can feel the same way about the women, but it’s different because there was never once was I with a woman that I didn’t think about you.”
Dray leaned over and buried his face against Lucky’s neck. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about my past.”
“I know.” Lucky rolled to his side and reached between them to touch Dray’s cock for the first time. “Ignore me.”
Dray shook his head and draped Lucky’s thigh over his own. “Not possible.” He kissed Lucky, soft and sweet, before pulling back. “Tell me what you want.”
“Everything,” Lucky replied. “As long as it’s with you.”
Dray ran his hand down Lucky’s back to the swell of his butt. “Have you ever played with your ass?”
Lucky stared at Dray without admitting to anything.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” Dray lifted his fingers to his mouth and spit on them. “Making yourself feel good is perfectly natural,” he said as he touched Lucky’s hole.
“Yeah? Then why do I have to hide it? Why do I have to pretend to be someone I’m not?” Lucky asked as he hitched his thigh higher around Dray’s waist.
“You know why.” Dray circled Lucky’s pucker several times. “But you haven’t answered my question?” He tapped the pad of his finger against Lucky’s hole.
“Yeah,” Lucky admitted. “I have stuff.”
Dray licked his lips. “Where?”
“In a box under the bed,” Lucky confessed, pushing back against Dray’s finger.
“Get it,” Dray instructed. “Condoms?”
“In the canister on the bedside table.” Although he’d loved the feel of Dray touching him, Lucky did as asked and climbed off the bed to retrieve the small shoebox that contained his secret identity. He opened the box and quickly turned the picture of Dray face down in the bottom. “What do you want out of it, just the lube?”
Dray shook his head and held out his hand. “I want it all.”
With a sigh, Lucky gave Dray the bottle of lube and two toys, one to stimulate his prostate and one that resembled a big brown dick. “That’s it,” he said and quickly put the lid back on the box.
Dray’s eyes narrowed. “No it isn’t.”
“That’s it!” Lucky snapped. He’d already shared all that he was prepared for. He shoved the box back under the bed before getting in bed.
The corner of Dray’s mouth lifted in a half-smile. “Okay.” He stretched out and waited. “Have you changed your mind?”
“No.” Lucky hadn’t, but he suddenly felt incredibly raw and exposed.
Dray lifted the dildo. “Interesting color choice. The one in my bedside drawer’s much paler.” He made a point of glancing at Lucky’s growing erection.
Truth was, after seeing Dray’s dick, Lucky’s dildo was darker, but it was still closer to Dray’s Hispanic skin color than the pinkish-tan ones he’d found. “You have one?”
“Sure.” Dray grinned again. “Like I said, it’s perfectly natural.”
Lucky stretched out beside Dray, feeling much better.
“When’s the last time you used this?” Dray wrapped his hand around the dildo’s girth, no doubt comparing the fake to the real thing.
“A few days ago, after Brick told me about the cancer and I talked to you on the phone.” When Dray’s grin grew into a full-out smile, Lucky groaned. “You don’t have to look so damn smug.”
“Yeah, I do.” Dray set the toys on the old milk-crate beside the bed before opening the bottle of lube. “How do you want to do this, stomach or back?”
Lucky thought about it for a moment. He wanted to watch, but at the same time, he knew he’d be embarrassed the first time. Without saying a word, he rolled over and tucked his legs under him, putting his butt on full display. He quickly discovered it wasn’t the position that embarrassed him but the exposure.
Dray sat up and scooted closer. He ran his palm over the cheeks of Lucky’s ass before upending the bottle of lube. Cool liquid dripped down Lucky’s crack, prompting an all-over body shiver.
Dray chuckled. “Let me warm that up for you.”
Lucky thanked the stars above when Dray did just that by running his fingers up and down the crack of Lucky’s ass. “Oh, yeah, that’s working.”
“Someday soon I’m gonna take the time to eat this ass, but I need to bury myself inside you too bad for that now.” Dray circled Lucky’s hole with his thumb several times before pressing inside.
Lucky moaned at the invasion.
Dray fucked Lucky for several minutes with his thumb before removing it.
“Don’t stop.”
“Patience.”
Lucky heard the lid of the lube click shut moments before Dray’s touch returned, only instead of a thumb, he got first one finger then another. Thinking of his neighbors, Lucky buried his face in the pillow and groaned.
“Am I hurting you?” Dray asked.
Lucky shook his head but didn’t speak, couldn’t speak as Dray continued to pump his fingers in and out. For years, he’d told himself that fucking a woman was all he’d needed to satiate his lust, but at that moment, he knew the truth. Women had been a tolerable distraction, but his body had been made to feel a man’s dick sliding in and out of him.
“Do you think you’re ready for me?”
If the amount of pre-cum running down his dick was any indication, Lucky’s body was more than ready. “Mmm hmm,” he managed to get out.
Dray reached over and grabbed a condom. Seconds later, Lucky felt the blunt head press against his hole. With one hand against the small of Lucky’s back, Dray pushed inside.
Lucky tried to remember to breathe as he planted his hands on the mattress and rose up enough to rock back. Pain tore at him as his hole stretched around Dray’s shaft. He gripped the sheet in his hands as he slowly impaled himself further.
“Take it,” Dray growled when he steadied Lucky’s hips and surged in to the hilt.
Lucky sucked in a gasp of air as the burn gave way to pure, unadulterated pleasure. “Christ!” He swiveled his hips, needing more, embracing the part of himself he’d denied for too long.
“Give me a sec,” Dray ground out, and Lucky could hear him breathing heavily.
Lucky smiled into the pillow, feeling his heated breath against his face. The idea that Dray could be close to losing control just by being inside him, thrilled him. He used every ounce of reserve he had to stay still, praying Dray pulled himse
lf together in quick order.
When Dray finally pulled out before pushing back inside, Lucky groaned into his pillow. He’d no doubt woken his neighbors with his earlier cry of pleasure but that didn’t mean he needed to give them a thrust-by-thrust commentary of the best fucking sex he’d ever experienced. He buried his face. “Yeah, pound it. Fuck my ass.”
Although he’d come only thirty minutes earlier, Lucky wanted to be touched. He pushed a hand underneath him and wrapped his hand around his length. Hell yeah, he was ready to come again. He’d never considered himself a stud in bed, but he’d always been proud of himself for being able to go twice in the same night, but it hadn’t even been a fucking hour and he was ready. He suddenly felt sorry for all the women he’d ever tried to please. “I’m ready when you are,” he panted, paying particular attention to the sensitive spot just below the crown. Pleasure shot up his dick from his balls as he grew closer and closer to climax.
“I don’t want to stop, but I can’t hold back any longer,” Dray declared, pounding into Lucky’s ass so hard Lucky was in danger of banging his head against the headboard.
“Unless this is the last time you plan to fuck me, I’m coming with or without you,” Lucky declared, unable to hold on any longer.
Dray draped his torso over Lucky’s back and cried out his release, “Fuck!”
“Yes!” Lucky agreed loud enough to wake the dead, or in his case, the neighbors. No doubt he’d be kicked out of his apartment within a month of moving in.
Dray kissed the back of Lucky’s neck before pulling out. “I have a feeling that’s not going to be the last time.”
Lucky panted as he tried like hell to catch his breath. The smell of cum was thick in the room, and he doubted he’d ever inhaled anything sexier. “Hope not,” he mumbled.
* * * *
Dray stared up at the ceiling long after Lucky had drifted off to sleep. He knew he needed to get back upstairs to Brick in case he was needed, but he wanted a few more minutes of sharing Lucky’s warmth.
He rolled to his side and stared at Lucky’s profile, trying to figure out how the hell he was going to walk away when the time came. There was something so vulnerable about the man beside him, and when he’d seen Lucky lose it earlier, he hadn’t been able to stop himself. All his good intentions had flown out of the window when faced with the very real possibility that one more emotional upset could send Lucky over the edge. So why the fuck had he given in to his desire to touch and hold Lucky?
Dray closed his eyes and cursed himself for the hundredth time. He’d gone too far, and no matter how, or when, he retreated back to Kansas City, Lucky would be hurt.
Earlier, when Lucky had asked him about the empty patch of skin over his heart, Dray hadn’t know what to say, so he’d given him a half-truth. He hadn’t confessed that in the last few years, he’d thought of inking Lucky’s name there. Despite the fact that he and Lucky could never have a public relationship, he knew whom his soul was tied to.
Without warning, Lucky moved to wrap himself around Dray. “All I ever wanted,” he mumbled and settled back to sleep.
Dray rested his hand on the back of Lucky’s head and held him for several minutes before placing a kiss on Lucky’s lips. “I need to go,” he finally said.
“No,” Lucky replied without opening his eyes.
“Brick might need me. Besides, this has to be the worst mattress I’ve ever tried to sleep on.” Dray wasn’t joking. He didn’t know how the hell Lucky could sleep on it.
Lucky tightened his hold. “If you leave, you’ll never come back.”
Dray relaxed, hoping Lucky would loosen his grip. He knew Lucky was wrong, because he would be back tomorrow and the next day and the next—until Brick passed. Even if all he could do was offer Lucky comfort in secret, Dray would be there for him, and when the time came and Lucky was ready to resume his career, Dray would step back and allow Lucky the dream he deserved.
* * * *
Lucky glanced at Dray as they jogged side by side on the twelve-mile trail that wound its way along Lake Michigan. It felt nice to have someone to run with for a change, even better because it was a gorgeous day. He’d been surprised when Dray had asked him to get out of the gym for a while. “So why’d you wanna run here?”
“It used to be my favorite place to clear my head before a fight.” Dray returned Lucky’s glance. “And I want to talk to you about Flint.”
“Flint?” Lucky had noticed Dray spending time with Flint that morning, the morning after the best fucking night of Lucky’s life.
“I think he should go with you to the tournament. He can keep an eye on Brick and step in if Brick doesn’t last the entire tournament,” Dray explained, his breathing still even after almost six miles of nonstop running.
Lucky slowed. He didn’t want to think about Brick not lasting through the tournament. Even worse, he didn’t want Flint as a backup trainer. “Why can’t you do it?”
Dray snapped his fingers and motioned for Lucky to catch up. Once Lucky was beside him, Dray spoke. “Bruno knows who I am, and he’s got a big mouth. Even if I wear a hat and try to fly under the radar, word will get out.”
“So? I know you think you being in my corner will somehow paint me as gay, too, in the public eye, but I don’t agree. I know almost nothing about my opponents’ trainers. The focus is always on the fighters, and even if someone had a gay trainer, I don’t think that would be news-worthy.”
“I won’t take that chance,” Dray replied.
“But you’re the best fighter I’ve ever known, and if something happens to Brick, I’ll need you there.” A muscle clenched in Dray’s jaw, and Lucky knew he was getting to him. “Without you there, I’ll likely withdraw from the match because I’ll be too worried about Brick. You’re the only one who’d be able to verbally kick my ass enough to get me to go on.”
They ran in silence for several moments before Dray spoke. “Flint’s in your corner with Brick, but I’ll be in the building. If I feel I’m really needed, I’ll step in. Otherwise, I’ll stay in the shadows.”
Lucky didn’t like it, but he knew it was the best he was going to get out of Dray. “Fine.” They still hadn’t talked about their night, and the thought that it would never happen again worried him. “You coming by tonight after Brick goes to bed?”
Dray nodded.
Lucky grinned to himself. He ran the next six miles thinking about having sex with Dray again.
Once they reached the end of the trail, Lucky stopped and retrieved a water bottle out of his backpack. He continued to walk beside Dray, keeping his muscles warm while he rehydrated. A soft mewing caught his attention. “Did you hear that?”
Dray lowered his bottle. “Huh?”
The sound came again and Lucky realized it was coming from a tall patch of weeds. He walked over to investigate. “Oh, shit.” He stared down at the emaciated black and white kitten. The poor fella looked like he could barely raise his head. Without a thought, he bent over and picked up the tiny body. He turned toward Dray and held it out. “You think someone just dumped it?”
“I don’t know, but be careful handling it. Might have some kind of disease,” Dray replied, stepping closer. He stared at the kitten stretched out in Lucky’s palms. “I don’t think it’s going to make it.”
The kitten lifted his head and mewed.
“He’ll make it,” Lucky said, smiling down at the helpless creature. “He’s a fighter.”
* * * *
With a towel wrapped around the kitten, Lucky curled up in the corner of the couch and held a tiny bottle of milk-replacer to the cat’s mouth. He couldn’t wipe the smile from his face as the kitten greedily sucked, getting more on his face than down his throat. “You need a name.”
According to the veterinarian, the kitten was female, four to five weeks old. She’d been severely malnourished and full of worms, but the vet had given her medicine for the worms and assured Lucky that as long as she was fed regularly, she should pull throu
gh.
He’d made Dray go with him to the pet store to stock up on supplies, including a litter box, milk-replacement, a tiny bottle with extra nipples and a small stuffed animal. The last was something the vet had recommended. Evidently, kittens liked to cuddle when they slept. He had to take the vet’s word for it because he’d never had a pet—unless, of course, he considered the rats and cockroaches he’d grown up with.
Lucky ran his finger against the soft pad of one of the white paws. He had no idea how to go about naming something, but he didn’t want to rush it. He knew a name stayed with you for the rest of your life, so it needed to be special, needed to be right.
He heard the knock he’d been expecting. “Come in,” Lucky called.
Dray used the spare key Lucky had given him and entered the apartment. He shut the door and smiled down at Lucky. “How’s it going?”
Lucky wiped the kitten’s mouth with a corner of the towel before resettling the bottle in the kitten’s mouth. “Good. We’re trying to come up with a name for her.”
Dray pointed to the kitchen. “Mind if I have a beer?”
“Not if you bring me one, too,” Lucky replied. He tore his gaze away from the kitten to watch Dray walk across the living room to the kitchen. There was something in the hunch of Dray’s shoulders and the set of his jaw that bothered Lucky. “How’s Brick?”
Dray opened the fridge, removed two bottles, and closed it. “He’s having a hard time this evening. Told me I could use his bed from now on because he’s found he sleeps better if he sits up in his recliner.” He passed a beer to Lucky before sitting on the sofa beside him. “I told him I’d take him back to the doctor as soon as he can get an appointment. I think he needs to be put on oxygen—or at least have it available to him.”
“What? He seemed fine this morning. Well, not fine, but not bad enough to need oxygen.” Lucky wondered if Dray was being an alarmist. He knew from talking to Dray that the time would come when Brick’s lungs wouldn’t be able to draw in enough breath, but it was too soon for that.