by Carol Lynne
“I’m good.” Lucky kissed Dray’s chest. “Did you work things out with Mac?”
Unsure why Lucky had been obviously thinking of Mac, Dray ran his hand down Lucky’s back. “For the most part.”
“I don’t understand why he got so mad at you for not fighting but he wants me to stop. I mean, I know you were better than I am, but I’m not too old to learn.”
“It has nothing to do with your skill level. Like I told you on the roof, we worry that the fighting’s keeping you from dealing with your past. Mac may be crazy about the sport, but he cares more about you. You know Mac. He’s big on the whole path-in-life analogy. He said I let a little pot hole in the road scare me into taking the easier path. With you, he sees one clear path and one that’s so wrecked with pitfalls that he’s not sure you’ll survive it.”
Lucky rolled to his back. “What two paths? I have fighting. I’ve never thought of doing anything else.”
Dray sighed. Although he knew Lucky didn’t mean to do it, his words hurt. “You don’t even want to consider me and The Brick Yard a path?”
Lucky turned his head to look at Dray. “I thought you said if I was on the road fighting, I could come home to you?”
“I did.” Dray took a deep breath. “But that was before I figured out how much I love you. I’m not saying I’d turn you away, but I don’t think I can hide what I feel for you, so maybe it would be better if we’re not together at all.”
“No,” Lucky said, shaking his head.
“Our relationship is bound to get out, and I won’t be your Vince,” Dray argued. “I’ve told you that before.”
“You’re nothing like Vince,” Lucky shot back.
“No, I’m not, but the result will be the same.” Dray pulled Lucky back into his arms. “But it’s more than that. I know the time commitment involved in taking your career to the next level, and I don’t want to spend my days and nights without you while you’re traveling around the country. That’s not the kind of life I want.”
“What kind of life do you want?” Lucky asked.
Dray closed his eyes and allowed himself to dream. “Thanks to some pushing from Mac, I want to become a licensed foster parent, so I can legally help kids like Jax.” He glanced at Lucky, unsure how Lucky would take the next part of his dream. “I’d like to make some changes at the gym.”
“What changes?”
“I’d like to open it up to more kids. Adult membership is dwindling anyway. With all the fancy athletic clubs opening up, fewer people are interested in working out at an old school setting.” The more Dray talked about it, the more he liked the idea.
“What’ll we do for money? Without paying members, we’ll drive the place into the ground.”
Dray smiled. He liked that Lucky included himself in the plan. He doubted Lucky had even realized he’d done it. “We can apply for grants, but I also think there’s more to Brick’s estate than the gym. We already know he owns Mac’s diner, but I found a bunch of rent receipts. I’m not sure, but I think he owns your apartment building.”
“No way. He would’ve said something.”
“Would he?” Dray ran his hand down Lucky’s spine to land on his ass. “I think we can pay it forward while still keeping our heads above water, but I don’t think I can do it without you. It’ll be a lot of work and probably a lot of heartache, so, yeah, I’ll need you with me.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Dray wondered why the hell Lucky needed to think about it. “Are you saying you’re not sure a life with me is worth giving up the cage?”
“No.” Lucky pulled away and leaned up on one elbow to look down at Dray. “I’m not sure I’m the best person to be around the kids.”
“Are you joking?” Dray ran his palm down Lucky’s cheek. “You’re the perfect person because you won’t pass judgment when they come in with bruises or empty stomachs. Because, babe, despite your childhood, you’ve grown into a man they can look up to.”
Lucky looked thoughtful for several moments before leaning down to seal his mouth over Dray’s.
Dray opened to Lucky’s kiss. He wouldn’t push Lucky further for now, but he wouldn’t give up either.
“I need you,” Lucky whispered against Dray’s lips.
“What do you need?” Dray asked.
“I need you to fuck me.”
“No.” Dray refused to let Lucky’s request hurt him. “Now, ask me to make love to you.” They’d done it before, many times, actually, but it was important to him that Lucky acknowledge it.
Lucky’s eyebrows rose to disappear under the bandage on his forehead. “What’s the difference?”
Dray moved to lie on top of Lucky. “Fucking’s a physical act. Making love can only happen between two people who love each other.” He held his breath. Lucky had never verbally reciprocated his feelings, and he prayed Lucky would take the lifeline he’d just thrown out.
Lucky licked his lips and swallowed several times before answering. “Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“I need you to make love to me.”
Dray smiled. Although Lucky hadn’t come out and declare his feelings, for the first time he’d actually acknowledged that he had them. Dray climbed off the bed and dug around in his bag for the bottle of lube. “Missionary,” he said when Lucky started to roll onto his stomach.
Chuckling, Lucky moved back to his original position. “You’re being bossy.”
Dray crawled back onto the bed to kneel between Lucky’s legs. “I’m practicing.” He set the lube aside and took some time kissing and licking Lucky’s muscled torso, paying particular attention to the pale tawny nipples he loved to torture with his teeth and tongue.
“Fuck,” Lucky moaned.
Dray released the nipple between his teeth and scooted down on the bed. He rubbed the crown of Lucky’s cock against his lips before circling the circumference with his tongue. “Tell me what you want?” He tapped the tip of his tongue against the slit on Dray’s cockhead.
“Touch me, eat me…fuck, I don’t care. It all feels so good when you do it,” Lucky crooned.
Dray took Lucky’s length as far down into his throat as he could before pulling back. He repeated the action several times before releasing the heavily veined shaft. He reached over and grabbed the bottle of lube. Staring into Lucky’s eyes, Dray coated his fingers.
Lucky slid his feet up the mattress, spreading his legs wider apart to give Dray access to his ass.
Unable to resist, Dray leaned down and swiped his tongue across Lucky’s hole, tasting the perfume left over from the hotel soap Lucky had used earlier. Each flick of his tongue seemed to drive Lucky’s lust higher.
“Oh fuck. Need you in me,” Lucky panted.
“Not yet. I’m enjoying myself too much,” Dray replied. He watched closely as he pushed his finger inside Lucky’s ass. The sight of the puckered skin opening to accept his touch fascinated him. How many others had he been with, and he’d never taken the time to marvel at something so incredibly amazing.
Soon, Dray slid another finger inside. “The way your body accepts mine is beautiful,” he mumbled.
“Give me your cock,” Lucky begged. “I need it.”
Dray withdrew his fingers and moved back up to a kneeling position. He stared down at Lucky while applying lube to his shaft. “Stay with me,” he whispered. He set the bottle aside and positioned himself at Lucky’s entrance. “Make a difference with me.”
Lucky bit his bottom lip, but didn’t reply to the plea.
Dray knew Lucky still didn’t believe he could make a difference in the lives of others, but there was little else he could say to convince him. With a slight shake of his head, he let it go for the moment. Pushing inside, he again watched as Lucky’s body stretched to accommodate him. “Fuck,” he growled.
Lucky sat up enough to grab the back of Dray’s neck. He pulled Dray down and draped his legs over Dray’s shoulders. The new position allowed Dray to drive in deeper, with
the added bonus of bringing them close enough to kiss.
Dray wasted no time fucking Lucky’s mouth with his tongue as his dick began to slide in and out of Lucky’s ass. He pushed his arms under Lucky’s back and curled his hands around Lucky’s shoulders to hold him in place when he began to fuck harder. Each thrust of his hips prompted a moan from Lucky. Grunting into the kiss, Dray swiveled his hips, grinding Lucky’s cock between them.
The sharp intake of breath combined with the squeeze of Lucky’s body and the sudden warmth between them signaled Lucky’s climax. “Love me!” Lucky howled as his body continued to jerk with the force of his orgasm.
“Always,” Dray promised, driving deep several times before giving into his own desire to come. He collapsed on top of Lucky, shrugging Lucky’s legs off his shoulders as he struggled to catch his breath. They would both need to shower again, but for the moment, he wanted his softening dick to stay inside Lucky for as long as possible. He buried his face against Lucky’s neck, inhaling the scent he’d grown to associate with a sense of home and love.
* * * *
Lucky pulled at the collar on the white dress shirt Dray had insisted he buy. As uncomfortable as he was in the suit, it was nothing compared to the unease he felt as friends of Brick’s stepped up one by one to shake his hand and offer condolences. He felt like an imposter, knowing the receiving line was usually reserved for family of the deceased.
A short, middle-aged man released Dray’s hand and reached for Lucky’s. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Lucky had learned what to say from listening to Dray over and over. “Thank you. How’d you know Brick?”
“He gave me my first job, nearly thirty years ago.” The man smiled as if remembering his youth. “Brick rescued me from a group of bullies. He hauled me into The Brick Yard and taught me everything I needed to know about defending myself.”
The story made Lucky smile. “Yelling at you the entire time, no doubt.”
The man laughed. “You know it.” He glanced toward the closed casket. “I imagine he was ornery up until the last moment.”
Lucky’s smile faltered, his throat growing thick with emotion for the first time since he’d arrived. He’d purposely avoided looking at the coffin just for that reason. “Actually, at the very end, he was…” Fuck. He tried to get his emotions under control as he recalled his final memory of Brick. “At peace,” he finally finished.
Suddenly, he felt like the air had been sucked from the room. He offered the man an apologetic smile. “Excuse me.”
Without waiting for a response, Lucky stepped away from the line of people and pushed open the side door of the small funeral home chapel. He stopped in his tracks when he came face to face with the shiny black hearse. “Goddammit!” he screamed, as loud as his lungs would allow.
Lucky heard the door open behind him. Expecting to see Dray, he was surprised to see Jax standing behind him. “Hey.” Lucky quickly pulled out the white cotton handkerchief Dray had given him earlier in the day, and wiped his eyes.
Jax moved closer. “I know this isn’t cool, but…” He threw his arms around Lucky’s chest and hugged him.
Lucky held Jax as the two of them quietly mourned the loss of their friend. There was nothing he could say that would make Jax feel better and they both knew it, so instead, he gave the teenager the one thing he had to give.
“I wish I had a dad like him,” Jax said, his breath hitching with each word.
“Me, too,” Lucky agreed, petting Jax’s shaggy hair as he continued to hold him. “Although, I guess we’re both lucky Brick didn’t have his own family because then he wouldn’t have been available to help so many of us.”
Jax nodded.
Lucky thought of Jax and the teenagers who’d come after him, and knew which path he needed to take. “Dray wants to turn The Brick Yard into a place where kids can come if they need help.”
“Yeah?” Jax pulled back slightly and looked up at Lucky. “What do you think?”
“I think the biggest thank you we can give Brick is to continue his legacy. I wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for him and the gym.”
“Did your dad hit you, too?” Jax asked.
“I didn’t really have a dad,” Lucky confessed, “but I had a mom who made me believe horrible things about myself.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” Lucky admitted. “I’m still working through it. I doubt I’ll ever understand why she felt I wasn’t good enough, just like you’re probably trying to figure out why your dad treated you the way he did.” Lucky released Jax and wiped his face before blowing his nose. When he noticed Jax was in the same predicament, he pulled a wad of tissues out of his suit pocket and handed them over. “I’m not very good at talking about stuff, but if you need someone to listen, I’m here.”
Jax wiped his nose. “There’s a freshman at my school that I’d like to bring by the gym. I’ve never talked to him, but he has the same look in his eyes that I used to see in my own before I met you and Brick.”
To hear that he’d had even a small part in helping Jax filled Lucky with pride. “Bring him by. Dray’s going to see if he can qualify to become a foster parent. That way, he can legally keep kids safe.”
“What about you?” Jax asked. “Don’t you want to become a foster parent?”
Lucky shoved his hands in his pants’ pockets. “I’m a mess. I wouldn’t be a good mentor for anyone.”
“Are you shittin’ me?”
Lucky fingered the row of stitches on his forehead. He couldn’t tell Jax about all the ways he’d punished himself over the years because he didn’t want to admit just how screwed up he was. “No. Like I said, my past is too fucked up.”
Jax dipped his head and stared down at the parking lot. “If all that happened when you were my age and you’re still fucked up, what chance do I have?” He glanced up at Lucky. “Will I always be fucked up, too?”
A noise drew his attention, and Lucky caught sight of Dray. He stared at Dray, still trying to figure out what Dray saw in him that he didn’t see in himself. How could he try to help the kids that came into The Brick Yard if he couldn’t help himself?
“Not if you talk to someone,” Dray said, answering Jax’s question.
Jax spun around to face Dray. “Can you find someone for Lucky to talk to, too?”
Dray shrugged. “That’s up to Lucky.”
Lucky couldn’t take his eyes off Dray because in that moment, he knew he’d fallen hopelessly in love. He knew he owed it to Dray to become a man worthy of the love Dray gave. He’d always felt talking to someone about his past would make him weak, but he knew in that moment it would be the hardest thing he’d ever done. “I could maybe talk to someone,” he agreed.
Jax looked back at Lucky. “Really?”
Lucky nodded. “Yeah. Really.”
Jax hugged Lucky again, and Lucky watched as Dray mouthed the words, “I love you.”
* * * *
Dray tossed the magazine back onto the waiting room table and got to his feet. His stomach in knots, he began to pace the small space. What if pushing Lucky into the appointment had been the wrong thing to do? What if digging up the past ended up hurting the man he loved even more?
The phone in his pocket began to vibrate. He pulled it out and swiped his finger across the glass before putting it to his ear. “Hey.”
“How’d it go?” Mac asked.
“I don’t know yet. He’s still in there.” Dray blew out a breath. “I’m worried though.”
“Don’t be. He’s where he needs to be.”
“I hope so.” Dray glanced at his watch. “Is that the only reason you called?”
“No. That gal from the state was by, asked me a million and one questions and had me fill out some paperwork. I had no idea giving you a reference for your application would be so damn complicated. I thought I could tell them you were a good guy despite your fucked up tattoos and call it good.”
Dray chuckled. The a
pplication process hadn’t been an easy one and he still had twenty-four hours of training left, but becoming a foster parent to Jax would be worth it.
The door leading to the psychiatrist’s office opened and a puffy-eyed Lucky walked out. “He’s done. I’ll talk to you later. Thanks for talking to Mrs Gaines for me.”
“No problem,” Mac replied before hanging up.
Dray shoved his phone back into his pocket. “You okay?”
Lucky nodded. “He wants to see me a couple times a week for now.”
“Okay. Did you already make another appointment?” Dray asked.
Lucky nodded again. “He’s a smart man.”
“Oh yeah? That’s good.” Dray led Lucky to the door with a hand on his back.
“Yeah, he told me I’m a lucky man to have someone like you who loves me so much.” Lucky grinned at Dray over his shoulder. “I told you, smart man.”
Crossing the parking lot toward Dray’s truck, Lucky cleared his throat. “Do you still have your tattoo supplies with you?”
“At the apartment,” Dray confirmed. “Why? You finally figure out what you want?”
“I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. I want to do something for Brick, but I haven’t been able to figure out what.” Lucky dug a piece of paper out of his pocket but held it clutched in his hand. “I talked to Dr Sherman about it, and how I wanted to honor Brick with something as beautiful as he was. Dr Sherman asked me a bunch of questions and then recited this quote to me.” He shrugged before handing the paper to Dray. “I knew as soon as I heard it, it would be a fitting tribute.”
Dray stopped beside the pickup and unfolded the paper. “When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men.” He nodded, knowing it truly did fit Brick. “That’s beautiful. Who wrote it?”
“That’s the best part. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote it, so people will read it and think I’m smart. It’s a win-win for me.”
Laughing, Dray leaned in and gave Lucky a deep kiss. “I’m surprised you’re in such a good mood. I thought the session might be hard on you.”