The organ started signaling that mass would begin soon, and after a few measures the choir of six people joined in with the music. I reverted to my teenaged self, pretending I wasn’t there, or that I didn’t want to be there. But really, I was secretly gawking and everyone and everything. Seeing who was there that I recognized and how much they had changed since the last time I saw them. They were probably doing the same about me .
After what felt like forever, the priest made his way down the aisle and made his way to the front of the church. He stopped in front of his wooden chair and waited for the music to stop. He looked over his flock with a small smile on his face. His gaze paused on me for a moment. I blinked. Did I know him? He looked familiar .
“Who is that?” I whispered to my mom .
“That’s Heath. Remember Heath? Now hush!” she said flapping her hand at me which was way more noticeable than my whisper .
I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. Heath had been my childhood crush. He was my older brother’s best friend back in high school and had frequently been at my house. When he and my brother hadn't been at school, they were hanging around in my brother’s bedroom .
I had held that damn secret crush inside for my whole life. Never once had I told him or any of my friends .
He was six or seven years older than I was but at the time it didn’t seem like the difference was that much. Hell, looking at him right now it didn’t seem that much still. I couldn’t believe how good he looked .
When had he become a priest? It was almost shocking to see him in the long, heavy-weight robe .
I could still remember hearing him swearing like a sailor and talking vulgar with my brother when they thought no one was listening. I could remember him telling my brother about the first time he kissed a girl, and the first time he felt a breast. At the time I remember covering my ears not sure if I wanted to hear him, but then I’d remove my hands just slightly so I could hear him talk in detail about where he’d stuck his finger .
And if I thought he was hot back then, he was off the charts now. Even standing up there in his robes and holding that bible he was absolutely gorgeous. He was obviously in shape, and he was tall, taller than I remember. Heath was all grown up. He was a man. And sexy as hell. Too bad he had become a priest .
Our eyes locked for a second and he grinned at me. He recognized me probably only because I was with my parents. I likely had changed quite a bit since he last saw me. I smiled back and gave a tiny wave as my mom nudged me. If my thoughts about how hot he was continued, I’d have to go to confession for having impure thoughts about a priest. That had to be a sin. I giggled at the thought .
“Knock it off!” my mom scolded as her eyebrows almost touched in the middle .
“Sorry,” I whispered, wiping the smile off of my face .
I followed along with the mass as if I was trying to impress Heath, but really, I hadn’t heard a word of any of it. I remembered all the standing, sitting, kneeling, and the prayers by heart. I swear it was the first Homily I’d ever actually tried to listen to in my whole life .
When it was time for communion, I walked behind my mom to the front of the church. I felt nervous as I approached him. It felt like my hands were starting to shake, but it was too late to turn back. My mom had stepped to the side, and it was my turn .
“Body of Christ,” he said unable to hold back his smile as he lifted the communion up between us .
“Amen,” I said putting my hands out. Heath put the communion wafer in my hand and watched me as I opened my mouth and slipped the bread onto my tongue. His smile faded, and I swear the air between us changed. I walked back to my pew wondering if anyone else had felt the difference, but no one else seemed to have noticed .
After mass, I walked towards the back of the church with my parents. Heath was standing there shaking hands and putting his hand lightly on shoulders of his parishioners as they told him what a good job he’d done. How much they appreciated everything he does for the community. Definitely not having the thoughts I was having .
My parents saw him every weekend when they went to church, so they waved and kept walking towards the car. I glanced his way before catching up to my parents, maybe for one last look, after all, I didn’t know when I’d see him again. Heath raised his hand at me and excused himself from the elderly couple he was talking to .
“Livie? Wow, is that really you? All grown up?” he said smiling and laughing. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me over as if he almost didn’t believe it was me. He was even hotter close-up. His smile. And oh God, those lips .
“The one and only,” I said, “and it’s Liv now .”
“All right, Liv. I can’t believe how great you look. I mean, you look well. How are things going ?”
“Thank you. I’m visiting my parents from college. Just back for the holiday’s and they begged me to come to church with them,” I said forcing myself not to get lost in his gorgeous eyes. Then I realized he probably didn’t want to hear I had been practically forced into going to church, “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like they dragged me here kicking and screaming. I like church.” I wanted to slap myself with how stupid that sounded .
He smiled. “That’s right I heard you were in college now. Say, it would really be great if you could stay awhile so we could catch up. I’d love to hear how things are going. I’ll only be a minute or two longer,” he said with wide, bright eyes. The smile he unleashed was almost enough to melt me into a pool of whatever he wanted me to be at his feet .
I had to stop thinking about how hot he was. My thoughts were distracting me, and it wasn’t like it mattered. There wasn’t anything I could do about it .
Heath was a priest now. If that didn’t solidify the of my crush once for all, what would ?
Heath wasn’t just my older brother’s best friend anymore. He was a priest. And priests had rules. Strict, unbreakable rules .
“Yeah, that would be nice. I don’t think my parents would mind. Let me just tell them where I’ll be .”
“Great! Wait for me by the church doors I promise it won’t take long. Everyone’s in a hurry to get home to get on with their evenings anyway. Football season and all,” he said with a wink .
“OK,” I said, and my heart fluttered. I forced myself to walk to my parents instead of skipping which was what I felt like doing .
“Everything all right?” my mom asked, but I knew she was just being nosy. She knew everything was fine .
“Yeah, I’m going to hang out here with Heath for a bit. I won’t be long .”
My mom clicked her tongue at me teasingly but waved as she walked away with my dad holding onto his arm as they went to find the car. I wasn’t exactly sure how I’d get home, but it wasn’t that far, I could always walk if I had to. Priests didn’t drive, did they? I had no idea .
15
Chapter 2
Liv
I leaned against the church door and watched Heath finish up with his flock. The last woman in line was about four feet tall with glasses as wide as she was. She looked as though she had to be at least four hundred years old, but she moved like she was eight. She kissed his hand and practically sprinted away. Heath smiled and waved to her as she left .
He walked over to me, and I just had to chuckle at the sight of him in all black and with that white collar around his neck. I wouldn’t have ever imagined he’d become a priest. Not in a million years. But here he was, doing it, and everyone really seemed to like him .
“Sorry for making you wait. Come on back,” he said taking my hand and leading me behind the church where the priest’s house was .
“Can I go in there? Like is it even allowed ?”
“Of course, why couldn’t you ?”
“I don’t know. I guess I always thought it was for priests or religious people only .”
Heath laughed, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it .”
“A priest huh ?”
“
Yes. You hadn’t heard? Bet that was a shock, huh ?”
“A little. OK, yeah, a lot .”
“It just sort of happened, but I’m very happy,” he said with a small laugh. “Come on in .”
He opened the door for me, and I stepped inside the quaint home. It was neatly decorated, but it had far too many crosses and religious pictures hanging about for my tastes. I couldn’t help but laugh thinking how this was the same person that would listen to heavy metal and talk about girls with my brother .
“What?” he said looking at me with a sexy half-grin .
“Nothing, it’s just weird .”
“What’s weird ?”
“Never mind,” I said worrying I might offend him .
“No, it’s OK, tell me. I’m a priest, after all, I’ll forgive you if I don’t like what you have to say.” He laughed at himself .
His robes were off, and his black pants fit him so perfectly. I could see the bulge in his pants, but of course, I tried not to look. His arms were so muscular his shirt might as well have not even been there .
Jesus Christ, he was so sexy .
Shit. It had to be a sin to think about a priest in the way I was thinking about Heath. Then again, they were only harmless thoughts. It wasn’t like he was banging me on the sofa. Dammit !
Even if my thoughts about him weren’t sinful, they sure as hell felt as though they were. Just being so close to him and wanting him to touch me had to be a sin .
“It’s just, well, I never imagined you being a priest .”
He laughed. Oh, God. Even his laugh was sexy. “Neither did I, at least not when I was younger. But now I can’t see myself being anything else. What are you going to school for ?”
“Currently, and to my parent's chagrin, I’m undeclared.” I looked at him so I could watch his expression. Surely it would be the same reaction I’d seen a million times when I’d share that I still didn’t know what I wanted to be doing with my life. But he just smiled politely .
“Oh! How rude of me… can I get you something to drink? Coffee ?”
“That would be great, thanks.” That way I could be up all night fantasizing about my childhood crush who was now a priest. So much for all the fantasies wherein Heath was the one to take my virginity .
He turned on his coffee maker and quickly brewed two cups. “I just can’t get over that it’s you .”
“Have I really changed that much?” I asked .
“Yes and no. You look like you but older. I don’t mean that in a bad way I just mean you’re not a kid anymore.” He was looking me over from head to toe, but his gaze slowed as he looked from my boots up to meet my eyes again .
I smiled at him even though there was suddenly an awkward silence between us. If only I could have known what he was thinking about at the moment. His expression had suddenly changed from happy and excited to one that was darker and much harder to read .
“Do you need me to leave?” I said breaking the silence .
“No,” he said waving his hand as his smile returned .
“This is going to sound totally crazy, and I shouldn’t even tell you this….” Oh my God, what was I doing? I couldn’t stop my words they just flowed out of me like a floodgate had been lifted. “I had such a huge crush on you when I was younger .”
Apparently, when I hadn’t been able to think about anything else to talk about, I decided a confession was the way to go. What did it matter? It wasn’t like anything could ever come of it. They were just words. In fact, it almost felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I’d kept that inside for so many years, it was actually good to voice it .
“You did?” he said, and I could feel that same shift in the air that I had felt after communion. It was as if all the angels and butterflies left the room to cower away from the things that were dark, dangerous, and naughty .
“I did. God dammit I really shouldn’t have said that, and I definitely shouldn’t say God dammit, right? I don’t really want him to damn anything. I don’t know what I’m talking about right now.” I turned away unable to look at him .
“No, Liv, I’m glad you told me,” he said, and before I knew it, I felt his fingers sliding over the back of my hand. “Back then I didn’t think of you as anything more than Paul’s little sister, but it’s different now. When I saw you in church… I… I felt something I hadn’t ever felt before .”
“In what way ?”
“It felt better than praying. It felt like I was up on a cloud looking down at everyone. It was an amazing feeling that jolted through my veins. There is something about you, and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. All I know is it made me feel well, enlightened .”
I knew I should pull my hand away, he was a priest, but something wouldn’t let me. I loved the warm, soft feel of his hand on mine— it felt right. My heart raced thinking about all those times I dreamed about being with him. It was as if I could make those fantasies a reality and something about that was both overwhelming, and like a challenge, I needed to complete. It wasn’t something God could make go away. If this was the work of the devil, his grip on it was far too tight for me to fight off .
“You’re a priest. A man of God,” I said looking at his hand still on top of mine. Was it really there or was I just imagining this? Obviously he wouldn’t break his vows to God, but touching my hand wasn’t wrong, was it? But what I was feeling had to be wrong. Was he feeling it too ?
“Yes,” he said pulling away slowly, “but I am still a man. I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He stood and started pacing. It was clear he was having some kind of inner struggle .
I stood in front of him to get him to stop pacing. Our eyes locked. I wanted to tell him that he hadn’t made me uncomfortable. In fact, I had never felt more comfortable in all my life. The only problem was I couldn’t act on anything I was feeling .
“I’m not uncomfortable. Tell me, why did you become a priest ?”
“Right now, I’m questioning all that myself. I can’t stop thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about. I’m going to hell,” he said as he put his finger on my cheek .
“No, you aren’t,” I said looking up at him. “But I should probably get going before you question it too much and I ruin everything you have here. As much as I want to stay here… it wouldn’t be a good idea. I can’t be the reason you doubt your devotion .”
Heath lightly brushed his thumb against my lower lip as he stared at my mouth. My lips parted, and a small sigh escaped .
If only he weren't a priest, he could just lift my skirt and take me against the wall. He’d make my first time a dream come true. If only things were different .
Heath stared at my mouth for a long moment before he spoke, “I understand. It was really good to see you. Come to mass again next time you are in town. Please .”
His hand dropped away from my face as if it hadn’t even happened. My heart felt like it dropped into my stomach .
“Goodbye Heath, I mean Father .”
“Goodbye Livie, I mean Liv,” he said with a sly grin .
I walked to his front door wishing things could be different. My hand slowly twisted the knob, and I pulled the door open feeling the gentle breeze blow lightly against my face. I could tell by the crisp, clean scent that it was going to rain. Another reason I should get home before I was stuck walking in the rain. Perhaps it was a sign from above .
Heath stepped up behind me and placed his hand over mine. He kept his eyes on mine as he slowly closed the door. Heath drew in a deep breath. “Liv, please… wait .”
16
Chapter 3
Liv
I looked up at him with wide eyes. Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed me hard and held me tight against his rock-hard body. He was so solid and strong, and it made me feel so small. My heart pounded against my chest .
He pressed his lips softly against mine, and God help me, I knew I shouldn’t, but I kissed him back .
His hands moved roughly up and down my back, each time dipping closer and closer to my ass. It was as if he wanted to just grab it and get it over with, but part of him was stopping it from happening because once he did, he would have crossed a line he couldn’t come back from .
“Oh, dear God… forgive me,” he whispered as he moved down to my neck, kissing every inch of it. I put my fingers on the top button of his shirt and popped it open. His white Clerical collar fell to the floor. He moaned, and I undid the next. “I can’t believe this is happening .”
“Me either,” I moaned softly .
“The second I saw you sitting in that pew… then parting your lips for the Eucharist, yeah. Kissing you has been the only thing I could think about .”
“But Heath, er Father, this is wrong. I don’t want you to ….”
“Heath, please. I’m a grown man, my choices are my own,” he said as he carefully picked up his collar and set it on the chair next to the door .
We clumsily walked backward toward the living room. I tried to undo the rest of his buttons, but my fingers were shaking. I still couldn’t believe this was actually happening. My dream was finally coming true .
Heath ripped open his shirt. Each button making a little thump as it landed on the floor. He peeled off his shirt showing off his perfect body .
Heath was even more muscular than I’d imagined. I slid my fingertips over every hill and valley. He groaned the lower I moved down his abdomen, it was as though he hadn’t been touched in years. It was almost as if my fingertips were tormenting him .
Caught - A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 6