There were times I laid on my bed planning our wedding, but it just wasn’t meant to be. When he joined the club, it hit me hard and my parents helped me see it too. They wanted the best for me, even if they didn’t go about it in the best way. They sent me away .
It took me weeks to get over the whole ordeal. It was stressful and painful. At the time I hated my parents for sending me away and I hated the club for taking Pike away from me. When he went to prison, I finally was able to accept it all for what it was .
My parents never wanted us together, but when he became a prospect that was the last straw as far as they were concerned. They weren’t going to let their daughter get mixed up with the biker .
I didn’t want to be around the guns, the drinking or the reckless parties. It wasn’t my speed. If I was being totally honest most of the members of the MC scared me .
The only ones I knew a little were Stone and Dust. Everyone else was older and obviously we just didn’t run in the same circles. The only reason I’d ever known Stone or Dust was because they were Pike’s friends .
“Saw the papers,” he said as he exhaled another cloud of smoke through his nostrils .
“The papers ?”
“Your grandma,” he said looking in my eyes again. I wished he would stop looking at me like that. It felt as though he was doing it on purpose .
“Yeah. She… ahh — ”
“Sorry about all that,” he said cutting me off. It seemed as though he could tell I didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe he regretted even mentioning it .
“Yes, thanks .”
“I guess that’s what brought you back here then ?”
“Yeah, I’m only in town for a few days,” I said kicking at an invisible pebble .
There was a long pause before he took another drag and dropped his cigarette to the ground. He pressed the toe of his black boot down on top of it to make sure it was out .
He looked up at me briefly and then looked away, “Sucked when you left .”
I hadn’t expected him to bring it up. I didn’t know what to say. What could I say? It did suck. It had been awful for me too .
At the time it felt like I was doing the right thing, or rather that it would be the right thing. But that didn’t mean that it hadn’t been hard. It had been beyond painful .
“I know.” I looked at the ground searching for another invisible pebble .
“Your dad told me you went away .”
“He did? Well, it was for the best,” I said but I sounded more like my mother talking than I sounded like myself. “What else did he say to you ?”
“Not much. Just that you were gone and not coming back .”
“Oh,” I said rubbing the skin at my elbows .
Pike took his helmet off of the back of his bike and tucked it under his arm. “Can I see you again while you’re in town? Just to catch up… hear what you’ve been up to .”
I wanted nothing more than to say yes. It would be perfectly harmless to talk… meet over coffee or something, but I knew it wouldn’t be good for either of us .
Besides, I had to go to a funeral and after that I only had a couple days before I had to get back to my job. My brother would be in town and I had been a long time since I’d seen him. There would just be so much going on .
“Oh, I wish that I could but it’s just that… I’m kind of busy with the whole funeral and family stuff, you know? Maybe next time though. I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to .”
I wanted to kick myself after the words had left my mouth. I already knew what he’d been up to. Prison. And I definitely didn’t want to hear about it. Although, he probably had more going on in his life than having been to prison. Or at least I hoped he did. For all I knew he had gotten married. Maybe he even had children .
It would have actually been nice to spend some time catching up, I just couldn’t do it. I was too afraid of slicing open old wounds. It would just bring back too many memories .
Not to mention it would piss off my parents if they found out I’d met up with him. I didn’t really want to upset my mom after what had just happened with my grandma. She was already in a fragile state .
“No, yeah, I get it. I understand,” he said as he sat down on his bike. He looked at me with his glowing eyes and I wanted to jump on the bike with him… get away from everything. I wanted to feel the wind against my face, blowing my hair back. But he had his club, and I had the funeral .
I don’t even think I wanted to admit it to myself how much I missed him. Being this close to him again made something inside of me feel as though it was vibrating. It definitely didn’t help matters to see how freaking sexy he looked in his leather jacket sitting on his motorcycle .
“It was really good to see you though,” I said lightly biting my lip and sliding my hands into my pockets. It felt awkward. I didn’t know if I should hug him or shake his hand or just walk away .
“Yeah… you too. Take care,” he said putting his helmet on and kicking his bike to life. He nodded and drove away, leaving me standing there wondering what exactly had just happened .
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