I let out a loud breath. But before I could say anything, Ali glanced over at Kay and burst out laughing. For a moment I just sat there and listened to her laugh, watched as her cheeks reddened just the slightest, and it transformed her entire face. She didn’t look like the shy, worried girl she usually seemed. She looked carefree and beautiful. Stunning.
Then I looked over and saw what she was laughing about, and joined her with the same vigor. Kay had grabbed the plate of cookies and was holding it in his lap. He’d shoved plenty of them in his mouth at once, deforming his cheeks in the funniest grimace I’d ever seen.
“For crying out loud, Kaylan,” Evy pretended to huff, but I knew she loved it. “You’re acting like a baby.”
Kay’s eyes flared and he swallowed hurriedly to smirk at her. “Mmm. And you know what goes great with cookies? Milk. Do we have any milk, princess?”
Oh, Jesus, fuck. “Fuck off, Kay. You’re not starting your foreplay already, over cookies for fuck’s sake. We’re finishing the movie tonight, even if I have to tie you and Evy apart in order to keep you from mauling each other.”
We did manage to finish the movie that night. And I was glad we did because Ali loved it. Of course she kept talking about Chris Hemsworth like he really was a God, and I didn’t exactly like that part. The guy was blond, with long hair and a beard. The complete opposite of me. More like Luke, if you kept aside the hair color. And I didn’t want to think of Ali with Luke.
We said our goodnights when the movie was over, and I watched her as she glided towards my bedroom. The memory of waking up beside her assaulted me and my stomach clenched with want. But we were friends and I couldn’t have that.
So I adjusted my stupid pillows, threw a thin blanket over me, and tried to sleep. Tried being the key-word. I kept tossing and turning for what felt like hours. It seemed last night’s thing had been just that: a thing. I hadn’t been magically cured of my insomnia.
I tried to relax and think whatever it was I’d been thinking the previous night when I’d fallen asleep with Ali in my arms. But I couldn’t remember. In fact I probably hadn’t been thinking of anything other than Ali in my arms. And that made it even worse. Because the few nights I’d been able to sleep even the slightest before, I’d been thinking of Kiara, and last night I was sure I hadn’t thought of her at all. It was so bad I let out a desperate groan of guilt.
I’m so sorry, Kiara. I’m sorry I’m letting you down. I still love you, babe. I still do.
Chapter 9
Alicia
“Ali.”
His fingers grazed my cheek, and I sighed in the relief his touch was giving me. I knew it was Nate from his scent of ocean that was surrounding me. And I knew it wasn’t a dream because I’d just been dreaming about him, and in my dream we were a long way past touching cheeks…
“Ali,” he whispered again.
I stirred and fought to open my eyes. I was a heavy sleeper, and it was always hard to wake up. I offered a non-intelligent “Mmm.”
“Ali, it’s me. Nate.”
A slow smile pulled at my lips. I blinked my eyes open and then closed them again. “I know,” I whispered, barely audibly.
“I’m sorry, babe, but I can’t sleep.”
His endearment jolted me and my eyes finally opened. He was on the side of the bed, kneeling in front of me. His hair was messy, the lines of his face drawn. “What?” I asked groggily. “Um,” I rubbed a hand over my eyes, “alright. Sleep here. I’ll take the sofa. It might help.”
I started to sit up, but he placed a hand on my shoulder to stop me. “No. Please, I don’t want you to sleep on the couch. Please, I just…” he sighed, “I thought maybe…” he took a deep breath, “maybe I could try and sleep here with you?”
I blinked a few times, wondering if I’d heard him right. My heartrate sped up, and a swarm of butterflies took flight in my stomach. “With me?” I croaked.
In the soft light coming from the window, I saw his face fill with something that looked like despair. “I’m so tired, Ali. I’m tired of staying awake every night. And last night, with you in my arms, I finally slept through an entire night. God, I know I’m a selfish bastard, but I thought… fuck, I don’t know what I thought. I’m an asshole, Ali. I’m sorry. Go back to sleep.”
He stood and spun around to leave. Before he could, I shot out and grabbed his hand. “Nate.” He turned to me, the same sad look on his face. “It’s alright. Stay. If you think it will help, sleep here. With me.” My heart was a jackhammer, pounding against my ribs.
He squatted in front of me and cupped my cheek. “Are you sure? I don’t want—”
“Nate, it’s alright.” I put my hand over his. “I’m here for you. We’re friends, are we not? Friends help each other. And if this will help you sleep, you don’t have to ask twice. You don’t have to ask at all.”
His eyes softened and he smiled slightly. “Okay,” he whispered. Then his smile widened into something so joyful, so boyish it made my heart flip over. In a flash he stood and climbed over me, not taking the time to even walk to the other side of the bed.
I giggled and clamped my hand over my mouth to keep quiet. I glanced at the clock on his nightstand to see that it was a little before three in the morning. He’d been struggling to sleep for almost two hours.
He settled behind me and slid an arm under my head, while bringing the other around me to settle on my stomach. I was wearing cotton pajama shorts and a matching top, yet I felt his touch in every cell of my skin as if nothing were between us.
He nuzzled my hair and took a deep breath. “Thank you,” he whispered.
His whispering breath brought goose bumps all over my skin, and I prayed that he didn’t feel it and start apologizing. “Don’t thank me. Just try to sleep. Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story?”
He chuckled softly and pulled me a little closer. “No. Just sleep. I think I’ll simply relax to hear you breathe.”
I had no idea why, but that sounded like the most erotic thing anyone had ever told me. Maybe it was because it was Nate and everything about him turned me on. Or maybe it was because this felt so intimate, holding someone in your arms, hearing them breathe rhythmically. “Alright,” I breathed.
I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing. I needed to relax again if I wanted to have any hope of sleeping or letting Nate sleep. But having him there with me, in the same bed, even though we were both wearing clothes, it was intense for me.
“Am I messing things up?” he asked with vulnerability in his voice. “I don’t want to mess things up.”
And there was the apology. “No messing up, Nate. I promise.”
“Your pulse is fast,” he breathed.
Oh, why did he have to push? I needed to be careful, but honest with my answer. “Remember when your body was being an asshole this morning? Mine is being one right about now.”
He let out a loud breath. “Then I am messing things up.”
I put my hand over his on my stomach. “Just because I’m telling you about my body’s reaction now doesn’t mean it’s the first time this is happening. And I’m fairly sure you know it’s not the first time.”
He let out another sigh. “I do.”
“We said we’d be relaxed about this. I’m a girl, you’re a boy. If you hold me like this on a comfortable bed with little clothing between us, instincts are bound to kick in. So, no. You’re not messing things up. Stop saying that. Relax and try to sleep. There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing.”
He nuzzled the back of my neck. “Will you tell me? If it gets to a point when it tires you, where it’s too much, will you let me know?”
I squeezed his hand. “I will. And you should too.”
“I’m never going to be tired of having you around, Ali. Not in a million years.”
I smiled at his words, but didn’t answer. Because I could have said something stupid. I knew I was being naive over my relationship with Nate. He could break my heart and br
eak it bad. He’d said that he wasn’t ready yet, that he might never be. And I really was fine with that. For now.
I honestly liked being just his friend. A friend that cuddled and flirted with me, and made my heart trip and stutter. A friend I was fairly certain I’d started falling in love with. And that was why it was certain I was going to have my heart broken. But right in that moment I had no care. All the pain I was sure to experience seemed to worth it for every moment I got to spend with him until then. I only hoped I still felt that way when the pain would come.
“What?” Oli screeched through the mobile.
“Bloody hell, Oli, you’re going to make me deaf. I’m not a dog to catch on high frequencies like that.”
“Alright. Sorry. But, in my defense, you did just tell me you’ve agreed to be a boy’s toy.”
“I’m not a boy’s toy, Oli,” I scoffed. “He and I are friends.”
“Luv, you cannot be friends if you’re in love with him. He can be your friend, but you can’t be his.”
“I’m not in love with him. Not yet.” I couldn’t tell if I was telling the truth or if I was just trying to convince her – and myself. “I don’t think I am.”
“Ali, let me ask you something. Do you have butterflies when you see him?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
“Does your heart beat unsteadily?”
“You know, you and Evy are starting to scare me.”
“Answer the bloody question, Ali.”
“Yes.”
“Do you always think of him? All the time?”
“Yes.”
“And when you do think of him, do you always smile like a loon?”
Another sigh, but this time I smiled. “Yes.”
“Well, then I’m terribly sorry to inform you that you’re crazy in love with him, luv. I can tell you’re smiling even now that you talk about him.”
“Oli—”
“Do not Oli me, you daft cow. There is nothing you can do about it. Not something you can regulate. But this, what you have with him is dangerous. You chance your heart getting broken, and I cannot promise there will be any fixing it after that. You need to either stir clear or make your feelings known.”
“Thank you Oli, but this is not something I need your help with. Not right now at least. I like him, yes, but there is nothing wrong with being just his friend when he’s not ready for something else.”
“It’s wrong when he’s using you.”
“He’s not using me.”
She snorted. “Is that so? You just told me he slept with you for two nights in a row – three if you count the one on the sofa – just because you relax him and it’s the only way he can get some sleep. He said it himself that it was an assholey move. And yet it doesn’t stop him. Are you sure he’s the glorious bloke you present him to be?”
I groaned in frustration. “Listen, Oli. I know you’re worried and I love you for it. But I didn’t phone you to have you all up in my bottom. This is not the kind of talk I need from you. I know the risks of my choices and am willing to take them. Other than that, can you please trust me and just be a friend?”
“I am being a friend.”
“And do you trust me?”
She huffed. “Alright. Yes, I trust you. But I also trust you to phone me at any time if something happens. And, believe me, something will happen. Not that I wish it, but you simply are challenging your own luck.”
I sighed. “Well, if that happens, I’ll ring you. And I’ll dutifully keep my mouth shut while you’ll tell me how ‘you told me so’. Is that enough?”
“Alright. Yes.”
I smiled slightly. “I need to hang up now, Oli. Give my love to Scott. Ring me whenever, alright?”
“I will, luv. Ta-ta.”
I disconnected the call and stared at the screen, standing outside the classroom. I hated to think Oli was right. My situation with Nate was indeed precarious, but I couldn’t seem to step away. No matter how I felt, I knew he needed a friend. I could understand it. Someone that didn’t look at him in a weird way for being involved in a tragedy, and didn’t push him to go back to the way he used to be. Someone that was just that: his friend.
When I’d woken up Sunday morning in his arms it had felt sublime. Warm and comfortable, tucked against his side just like I’d slept. And he’d slept through the night as well. My heart soared just at the thought I’d given him the slightest of peace. Sunday night he’d again sneaked into the bed beside me and repeated the process. That meant he’d slept for three nights in a row.
It was no wonder he was practically jumping with excitement when he’d driven us to campus on Monday. I wanted to jump around happily as well.
I hadn’t seen him at all Monday. Now it was Tuesday and I couldn’t wait to see him, ask if he’d gotten any sleep the previous night. I simply loved to see him smiling and relaxed. I took a deep breath at the thought of Nate’s smile, determined not to think about any possible unwelcomed consequences just yet. Everything in its own time.
I was about to push the door to the classroom open when my mobile rang. The number on the screen showed it was from London as well, but I didn’t recognize it. Could it be Oli calling from somewhere else? She and Mother were the only ones who had my number from that side of the globe.
I answered with a silent prayer that it wasn’t Mother. “Hello?”
“Hello, Alicia? Is that you?” a man’s voice came through.
“This is Alicia. Who am I speaking to?”
“It’s Charles.”
Shite! I had a sinking feeling it wasn’t Prince Charles. Why was Charles calling me? How could he have my number? What could he possibly want?
Only one answer for all three questions: Mother.
“Charles. It’s nice to hear from you,” I said, using the voice I’d always used around Mother and her ‘social’ circle. “I was about to enter my classroom, though. I don’t have the time right now.”
He sounded displeased. “Your classroom? I was given the impression you weren’t doing the whole college thing over there after all. Your Mother said you were coming back. She also said you were asking for my number.”
He waited for an answer. But what could I say? That Mother was a lying cow, one step away from being certifiable? “I’m terribly sorry, Charles. Classes here have been going on for two weeks now. Mother must have misunderstood my intentions. I won’t be returning to England after all.”
I do believe he tried to hide his annoyance. “Alicia, come now. You are in no need of going to an American college. Come back and go to Oxford as was always the plan. My studies will be wrapping up this year, and we can start preparations for the wedding.”
My blood started boiling. How dare he? “Charles, I’m not coming back, at least not until I have my degree. And I never agreed to marry you. We have only dated once for goodness sake, and we didn’t even kiss. And this is not me saying I want to kiss you, because I don’t. You’re a really nice guy, but I will not marry you.”
He huffed. “Come, Alicia. You know this is how things should be. It is how our parents have always wanted.”
“My Dad never agreed on this insane plan either. And whatever promises Mother has given you she can very well fulfill by marrying you herself. I’m no one’s property to be handed over like a piece of furniture.”
He sighed and sounded somewhat relieved. Odd. “I know, Alicia. I never thought of you as property. I care about you. Please come back and we’ll solve this like a normal couple.”
Christ almighty! The man was as paranoid as Mother. “We’re not a couple, Charles. And I have to go, or I’ll be late for class.”
He let out another sigh. “Alright. Go to your class. I understand your need to get away for a while. Please phone me or your Mother when you finally decide to come home.” And he hung up.
Was there something in the water all these people were drinking – or rather the champagne because they would be damned if they drank something as simple as water? Ho
w was it possible that they were unable to understand the words that were coming out of my mouth? I was fairly certain I was speaking the right language.
Shaking my head in despair, I entered the classroom in a hurry to avoid any further possibilities in phone-calls from Hell. I did not want to have to deal with another person from Mother’s psychotic circle.
Nate plopped on the seat beside me in the lunchroom. He looked amazing, as always, and well rested. His white T-shirt made him look even brighter. And his jean-clad thighs were once again a true wonder. My heart picked up speed at the sight of his easy grin.
“Hey, babe. What’s up?”
I shook my head and gave him a smile. “Mental. It’s been a crazy morning, Nate. You have no idea.”
His brow furrowed. “Something happened? Julia?”
I shook my head. “She has behaved for an entire week. No, it was far worse than her.”
His expression darkened. “What? Tell me what happened.”
I let out a sigh. “I received a phone-call from London this morning, both frustrating and utterly mental.” He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. “Charles.”
He leaned forward in his seat. “Who’s Charles?”
I shrugged. “Mother’s attempt to hold me a prisoner forever. She’d always been planning to have me marry him and join our forces in the business world. His family owns several mines in South Africa and Australia. He’s currently in his last year in Oxford University studying Business, and – apparently – he’s as mental as Mother. He phoned to ask me to go back so we could start preparing for our marriage.”
Nate frowned. “You’re engaged?”
Vampire Friend (Vampire Hero Book 2) Page 13