It appeared I wasn’t so good at bowling. I would roll the ball and it would almost always hit the gutter. I did manage a strike and a spare, but I dare say it was merely beginners luck. At least I had a good laugh and got to know Sean a bit.
He was much like Luke, scary-looking yet soft and kind – at least with me. He seemed to know about Nate in what concerned me, but he’d never met with him, or Evy and Kay. And it was even more surprising that he knew about my research. He didn’t let me talk about it though.
“You have no idea how dangerous it is,” Sean said in a low voice. “Don’t talk about it with anyone. Not even those you trust. Work on it on your own, and if you get to the point where you have an answer, let me or Luke know and we’ll figure out the rest.”
I looked around anxiously. “The lot of you have made me utterly nervy. I’ll make sure no one knows, but I really don’t believe things are as bad as you make them sound. I hardly believe I could suffer the same fate as Kiara.”
Luke shook his head, while Sean pinned me with a hard look before speaking in a low tone. “We have reasons to believe the guy that killed her was part of a secret group, which opposes to all scientific researches concerning the blood addiction caused by the enzyme. And if that was the case, then it’s not too farfetched to assume you could be in the same kind of danger. Keep it a secret, Ali. And if you ever need to go to the labs or talk to your Professor, do it without mentioning the enzyme. It’s not uncommon for a freshman to have an assignment concerning vampire blood. And if anyone asks where you get your samples from, give my name or Luke’s. Don’t connect Evy, Kay or Nate to this. Their association with Kiara could be reason enough to hurt you.”
I rolled my eyes in mock-annoyance, trying to lighten the mood. “That is just marvelous. You two are vampires as well? Poor Mother would have a stroke if she knew.”
Luke chuckled. “Nice try, little thing. And we get the point. No more serious talk. Just keep in mind you need to stay safe. That’s all we want.”
I nodded, giving them both a warm smile. “Agreed. Now, come on. I need to have another chance at kicking your bottoms in the bowling-alley.”
When I returned to my dormitory room, Julia was sprawled on my bed with her knees bent, and her arms folded under her head. She cocked one eyebrow when she saw me walk in, but didn’t attempt to move.
I sighed and dropped my purse by the door. “Julia, honestly, your own bed is right there. Is it so hard for you to not use mine?”
She offered me a lopsided smirk and sat up. “I was just waiting for you. You have a letter that someone dropped under the door.”
I took a deep breath, resisting the urge to roll my eyes as I walked towards her. “And you couldn’t give it to me from your side?” I extended my hand to take the envelope she was holding, but she pulled it back at the last moment.
“Not yet. First you’ll tell me what’s going on with you and Nate.” The excited gleam in her eyes made me want to slap her.
I glared at her and held out my hand. “It’s none of your business, Julia. And it’s certainly not polite and lady-like to gossip.”
My suggestion that she wasn’t acting properly seemed to offend her. She smacked the envelope in my hand and pushed up from my bed. “You know what? I was simply trying to make small talk, but you’re just too stuck-up to share. Here, take your stalker’s letter and enjoy.”
I lowered my eyebrows at her comment, but couldn’t make anything out of it. Stalker’s letter? “You read it?”
She huffed annoyed. “It didn’t say who it was directed to so yeah, I read it. It’s pretty creepy and I’m not at all surprised you’ve already made enemies around here.”
Even more confused, I flipped the envelope open and took out the folded paper inside. When I read the note, the blood in my veins froze, and I stared at the words for a very long moment before I was able to speak.
Drop the assignment or else…
It had been written in some type of typewriter, but that wasn’t the scary part. Red drops were smudging the slip around the words, as if blood had dripped over it.
I turned my gaze up to Julia who was looking at me with a smug smile on her lips. “Julia, did you see who dropped this?”
Something in my voice must have alarmed her, because her smile dropped and for the first time she looked at me with worried eyes. “Why? What does it say?”
I blinked at her, my surprise not eradicating my fear. “I thought you said you read it.”
She rolled her eyes. “I was messing with you. There is a name on the folder, Alicia. I’m not that much of a bitch to actually read someone else’s letter.” She took a tentative step towards me. “Is everything alright? What does the note say?”
I shook my head, quickly folding the paper and shoving it back in the envelope. “It’s probably nothing. It’s just scary that it doesn’t have a signature. Are you sure you saw no one?”
She nodded, concern etching her face, and in that moment I realized I was maybe seeing the real Julia for the first time, and she almost looked normal and… kind. “I’m sure. I found it on the floor just behind the door. At first I thought you had dropped it and I got pissed, but then I saw your name on the back. Alicia, if it’s something serious you should call the police. This isn’t London. There are some dangerous people around here.”
I shook my head again and took a deep breath. “I know. I have a friend who is a police officer, and I’ll show it to him. But it’s probably nothing. Don’t worry.”
She held my gaze for a moment longer and then, as if wearing a mask, her expression changed and turned cold once more. “Just make sure whatever you got yourself into doesn’t affect me.”
Suddenly feeling entirely different about my roommate, I gave her a comforting grin. “I will. Thank you, Julia.”
The first thing I did next morning was phone Sean and tell him about the note.
Nate
Sleep had been elusive again for the last two weeks. I’d been avoiding Ali, trying to let her get some space from me, maybe even forget about her feelings, or even better, figure out she wasn’t really in love with me.
I’d been miserable when she’d first told me, and I could almost see her heart cracking open when I hadn’t told her back. I’d let things go way out of hand and had to set everything straight once more. She couldn’t be in love with me, because I would never be able to feel the same way, as much as I wished for that.
The few times I managed to fall into some kind of slumber, I dreamed of Kiara. But this time she was looking at me differently. There was something in her eyes I’d never seen before, in dream or reality. She was angry with me. Angry for letting another girl get close to me. Angry for not thinking about her as much as I should be. Maybe even because I was alive and she wasn’t.
I knew dreams are just our subconscious thoughts being projected, but I couldn’t help the feeling of fear that she was in another place, blaming me for everything.
I almost jumped off the couch when the door to Evy’s and Kay’s room swung open, and I heard them both walking in the living room.
“Hey, bro,” Evy greeted, kissing the top of my head. “Sleep any?”
I shook my head and pushed from the couch, turning to look at them as they walked to the kitchen. “I think maybe I shouldn’t come to San Diego.”
Evy stopped dead in her tracks, while Kay seemed completely unaffected by my statement, as if he’d been expecting it.
Evy turned to me slowly. I thought I saw flames shooting from her eyes. “Excuse me?”
I sighed and took a step towards her. “I don’t want to mess things up more than I already have, sis. Ali’s going to be there and I don’t… I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.”
She let out a sigh and placed her hands on her hips. “Ali was never uncomfortable around you, Nate. You’re the one who’s uncomfortable ever since she told you she’s in love with you.”
I cringed, as Kay spun around with eyebrows raised and eyes
wide open. “She told you?” I whispered to my sister.
Evy nodded. “She did. And, even though both Luke and I have been trying to convince her you’re not as much of an asshole as you seem to be, she understands why you can’t love her back. She understands you two can only, ever, be friends. She’s even sweet enough to understand why you’ve been avoiding her without being mad at you.”
I closed my eyes and squeezed them as hard as I could until my vision turned splotchy. Of course sweet Ali would understand. And that was why I’d stayed away. Because if I hadn’t, if I’d kept her close, she would have just continued giving me everything, while I could give her nothing in return.
“That’s why she hasn’t come by in two weeks?” Kay asked in disappointment. “Fuck, Nate. You’re the reason I haven’t had my dose of British politeness all this time?” He sounded serious, but I could see a sparkle of excitement behind his eyes, which was completely weird. “What are you going to do about it?”
I shook my head. “The same thing I’ve been doing for two weeks. Keep away from her. Help her get over me. Make things right.”
Evy huffed. “You’re coming, Nate. I won’t take no for an answer. You can survive three and a half days in the same house as her, especially since others will be around as well. Now go get your suitcase packed, or you’re coming without a single change of clothes. My parents are waiting.”
I looked at her, feeling wary. I wanted to go. My family would be there, and I really liked Evy’s parents. And Ali was going to be there. I wanted to see her again. Jesus, I’d missed her. And not just for the peace she would bring me at night that would help me sleep.
I’d missed her smiles, her laughter, her voice, her everything. I’d missed her.
Kay cleared his throat, drawing my attention. “Go pack your stuff, Nate,” he said calmly.
With a small shake of my head in defeat, I did as they’d asked and went to pack my suitcase.
When we pulled up in front of the Williams’ house, Evy was out of the car and dashing towards the huge figure of her father standing in the doorway, before Kay had even fully parked. My Grandparents’ car was already there, and Luke’s truck was also parked outside. My stomach clenched at the thought I’d finally see Ali again.
Kay and I unloaded the car and shook hands with Dr. Williams – or Colin, as he’d asked us to call him. He gave me a simple nod and a lopsided smile, before turning his eyes to Kay and pinning him with a dark look. My cue to run away.
I took a deep breath and walked in the house. As soon as I was past the front door, Carla – Evy’s mom – wrapped me in a hug, and I found myself smiling over her shoulder.
“Nate, it’s so good to see you again,” she whispered. Then she pushed back and looked up at me. “How are you?”
I nodded, not letting my smile waver at the reminder of why she would have that tone of concern in her voice. “I’m good, Carla. Thank you for having us.”
She grinned at me. “You’re always welcome, Nate. Now, your brother should watch his back around my husband, but you can come anytime.”
I chuckled, thinking that was probably a lie. Both of Evy’s parents loved Kay, and were really happy she was with him. Carla was probably wishing for a marriage and some grandkids already. The truth was I wouldn’t be surprised if Kay proposed soon.
She shoved me towards the living room and I held my breath, knowing who I’d find in there. As soon as I spotted her, it was like everything else around me faded. I felt the volume of how much I’d missed her hitting me straight through my heart.
Her golden hair was straight as always, flowing behind her. Her bangs stood just above her glasses and my fingers itched to brush them away and kiss her forehead. She was wearing a soft-pink dress that hugged her torso down to the last curve, and I knew would flare around her hips – though at the moment it was simply draped around her as she was sitting on the couch.
But what gave me the most painful blow were her eyes. Even from the small distance I saw how they lit up with a smile when she saw me, before it even tugged at her lips.
I blinked a couple of times and took the rest of the room in. Luke was sitting beside her, holding a bottle of beer, and looking at me with his usual, knowing smirk. On the smaller couch beside her were Gramps and Gran, both looking at me with similar, happy smiles on their faces.
I forced my lips to smile and headed for my grandparents. They both stood, and I hugged my Gran first, squeezing her as tightly as I could.
“I’m so glad to see you, baby-boy,” she whispered.
“You too, Gran. How are you?”
She pushed back and looked at me, tears glistening behind her eyes. “I’m good if you are.”
I smiled and nodded before turning to Gramps. He pulled me in a hug and patted my back before whispering, “She’s stunning, Nate. I’m glad you’re finally moving on.”
I tensed, but tried to let it slide. It wasn’t the time or place to have such a discussion. I just shook my head slightly as I pulled back. Gramps caught the motion and frowned, but I didn’t let him ask anything. Instead, I finally turned to the other couch and gave a half-smile to Ali and Luke, trying not to look at her too much.
And failing.
“Hey,” I whispered while trying to smile, though it must have come out as a grimace.
Something passed behind her eyes, dimming them before she gave me a small smile and replied, “Hi”.
My heartrate kicked up and I almost winced. The dimming I’d seen had to have been hurt. I’d caused her pain by staying away, cutting out our friendship so abruptly. And wasn’t that the last thing I’d wanted? Wasn’t it the actual reason I’d stayed away, to keep her from getting hurt?
Fuck this.
I sat beside her and pulled her in my arms, and she immediately wrapped her smaller ones around my waist, burying her face in my chest. I felt her sigh of relief all the way to the marrow of my bones, and it felt like it ricocheted, reverberated, enhanced and came back out from me. I felt like I could breathe again, as much of a selfish asshole as that made me.
She’d said she’d be the one to back away if this would get too much. She knew her limits. Who was I to make decisions for her? Wasn’t that what her mother and that guy Charles had been doing? The reason she’d left London in the first place? If she’d left then, she’d be able to do it again. I wouldn’t push her away anymore. I’d be who I’d promised, her friend.
“That’s a hundred dollar fine for me,” I said in her hair, not caring that the others could hear and wouldn’t make sense of it.
Her body shook with silent laughter and I heard her beautiful, British-accented voice respond. “Let’s make it two hundred, just for good measure.”
Chapter 12
Alicia
Relief was a very feeble word to describe what I was feeling. When Nate’s arms swept around me and he held me to him, I felt my heart soar. Maybe I should describe it as the warmth of the sun after a freezing night. Or the first gulp of air after drowning in the depths of the ocean. Every particle in every cell of my body was dancing under my skin, celebrating. I felt like I was ready to explode with happiness.
And all that from one hug.
Alright, maybe also because of his light, self-sarcastic comment. But still.
How would I’ve felt had he told me he loved me back?
But I wouldn’t go there. He wasn’t ready. For all I knew, he might never be. But I was in terms with that. I could love him without needing anything in return. And if one day I needed more, then I would look for it elsewhere. I knew my limits and I hadn’t reached them. I still had ways to go for that.
Luke cleared his throat behind me, and Nate and I broke our hold. For maybe the hundredth time in my life, I thanked every deity that ever was for not letting my embarrassment redden my face. It was heated for sure – one could grill bacon on my cheeks – but no one could tell. Hopefully.
I sent a sheepish smile to Nate’s grandparents, Ben and Martha, who were sim
ply beaming at me.
“Glad that was settled,” Luke commented and I looked at him, seeing him sending a pointed look at Nate. I didn’t catch Nate’s response though, if he gave any in a non-verbal form.
Just then, Evy’s parents with Evy and Kay walked in, and I stood to move around the coffee table and greet them.
Evy squeezed me in a hug and whispered, “I brought him here. Now you do your thing.”
I really wished I knew what she meant, but there was no time to ask or even ponder, before I was removed from Evy’s embrace and lifted in a bear hug by her boyfriend.
“Little thing,” he rumbled as I squeezed him back, as much as I could since he was immensely stronger than me. “Missed you. Hopefully that asshole I have of a brother won’t keep you from us again.” He said that low enough for only me to hear, but I saw from over his shoulder Colin’s eyebrows shoot up, clearly having heard as well.
I smiled, and was let down on my feet to look up at Kay’s smiling face. “I missed you too, Kay. It’s really good seeing you again.”
“Why are you all acting like you haven’t seen each other in ages?” Carla asked curiously. “Don’t you all live together? Don’t you see each other all the time?”
“Mom,” Evy drawled. “Ali is not staying with us. And she has classes that take up plenty of her time, so we don’t see her as often as we’d like.”
Nice save and dodge. Clearly Evy had plenty of experience avoiding inquisitive stealth attacks from her parents. I turned and gave her a grateful grin, before moving back to the sofa to sit between Nate and Luke. Nate’s hand immediately came up and started toying with the tips of my hair. Another sigh of relief bubbled up from my chest at the familiar feel, which I managed to keep to myself, mostly, though maybe Nate and Luke heard. But I wouldn’t care about those two.
Carla and Evy made everyone coffee and tea, as we all got into a pleasant meet-and-greet discussion. Everyone else appeared to know each other, so the focus quickly turned on me.
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