by Kelly Fox
Jean-Pierre looks like he wants to say something, but he’s already gotten his way with strong-arming me into moving in with him. I mean, he essentially demands things he knows I want but don’t know how to ask for, so when he made it known that I would be living with him, I protested while shoving boxes into the back of my truck with a raging hard-on. But still. I cut him off and answer, “No. Not initially, at least. But, that’s not my only source of income, and the less said about that, the better.”
“DB,” Nick says shrewdly.
I nod. “Yes, but I’m not doing any heavy lifting, and most of the work is aboveboard, and being able to do both my art and the…”
“Hacking,” Jean-Pierre supplies, grumpy because I won’t let him shower me with a life of luxury. I mean, he’s totally going to do it anyway, but I’ll at least be able to contribute.
“And analysis. For the good guys.” I look over at Jean-Pierre and glare just a little. It’s fun to remind him of his dark raven every now and then. “Being able to do both makes me extremely happy.”
Roly jokes, “So… you’re an artist hacker who’s also a Buddhist. Nice. You still going to be our yogi, or do we need to look for someone else?”
“It’s not bad work if you can get it,” I respond. Jean-Pierre is nervous about my side hustle, but he’s also proud and knows that my intentions are good. Plus, DB won’t let me get into too much trouble. “And you’ll never get rid of me on the yoga front.”
Scout is thoughtful as she licks her fingers. “So… do you ever do revenge hacking?”
“No, never.” Sarcasm is my native tongue, y’all.
“I’m just sayin’, there was this guy on a dating app who was super gross to Evie, and—”
I cut her off. “Yeah, I remember that douchebag. Don’t worry. The day after all of that went down, I rigged his Wi-Fi connection to slow down every time he hits up a porn site.”
Scout laughs hard and we bump fists while Jean-Pierre tries to give me the stink-eye, but he can’t help the smile that splits his face. “What am I going to do with you, Jake?” he asks as he pulls me in for a kiss.
Roly holds up his hand. “I have several ideas, and would like pictures. Please and thank you.”
Jean-Pierre pulls me into his lap and wraps his arms around me as I curl up into a ball and press my face into his neck. “No one takes sexy pictures of Jake except me.”
“So you’re saying there’s pictures…”
The whole room laughs, and Nick hugs his cousin. “Never change, Roly. Never change.”
Jean-Pierre
Am I one hundred percent on board with supporting Jake’s art? Absolutely. Am I one hundred percent on board with supporting Jake’s career as a hacker spy? No, but… he has used his skills to lend support to the human rights causes near and dear to my heart, so I’m not totally opposed to it, either.
Seeing him here, surrounded by his friends and family, I am incredibly proud of the man he is, and proud of us for doing this on our time, in our way. And I am determined to help him to continue to take back the joy that one terrible night took away from him. I have gone to his kink therapist with him, but I am also seeing her separately for my own history. A few weeks ago we had a joint appointment in which we talked more specifically through the things that had happened to him and the things that I’d witnessed and done. It was awful and healing and made me appreciate that we are so strong together.
After this meeting, we’re all going over to Scout’s condos for a picnic with her family and Jake’s. I’ve met Adam Koenig, the man I hope to be my father-in-law, in passing many times, but this will be the first time I’m breaking bread with him as his son’s partner, and I hope that he can accept me.
“Jean-Pierre Sehene! It’s so good to see you! Come, sit here next to me and my fiancée, Suzi. Suzi, have you met Jean-Pierre?” Adam’s effusiveness is contagious, and Suzi, my hopefully future-mother-in-law, is a delight.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” she says, offering her hand and a warm smile. Jake gives me a warning smile, meant to remind me not to rearrange people’s organs when I hug them. And, of course, as my hopefully future-mother-in-law, I am not merely going to take her hand.
“Madamoiselle, I prefer hugs, if that is all right with you.”
Suzi is tickled by the gesture and gives me a big hug. It makes me miss my mom, who is scheduled to come next week with my father for a visit, but… oh, well, there they are.
Yep, those are my parents making their way over to the picnic area, dressed to the nines, my mother’s expensive heels sinking into the soft dirt. I can only shake my head.
Giving my mother and father a mini group hug, I whisper into their ears, “Vous êtes censés appeler en premier.” You’re supposed to call first.
“What difference does one week make, my son?” my mother replies, patting my face before dismissing my argument out of hand and turning to my beloved. “Jake! It is so good to finally meet you in person!”
“Je suis ravi de vous rencontrer également!” I’m so pleased to meet you.
My father gives Jake a handshake and steps back. “Wow. The French with your Texas accent is nice. I can see why my son is so enamored.”
Jake flushes at the compliment, and just like that, my parents love him. That starts off several rabbit-trailing conversations, one into the other, with various people coming up to greet us and introduce themselves to my family.
Adam gestures for Jake’s twin, Spence, and Nick to bring over the picnic table from the adjacent section of condos, and Evie grabs a pair of stylish flats for my mother to change into. Soon we are all in a big square of tables, sitting in front of overflowing plates with the sounds of English, Spanish, and French filtering through the air.
While Jake and Spence have different coloring and body types, their expressions are almost identical. When Spence’s little boy crawls into my lap with an iPad in a bright purple case and asks me to help him find his favorite YouTube channel, I can’t help but imagine what our kids would look like, and I’m enchanted all over again.
We talk and play into the evening, and as we say goodbye to everyone, and after I make sure that my parents, who are leaving on a quick trip to New York in the morning, are settled in at their hotel, I take Jake’s hand, and we wander through the trails behind the condos.
After a few minutes of walking in comfortable silence, I hip check Jake and ask, “What are you thinking?”
His face, with its Resting Serious Mode, breaks on a small smile as he hip checks me back. “That I’m so happy to be in love with you.”
The clear night sky is gorgeous, and the cicadas sing in a rising crescendo all around us. I open my arm to him, and Jake tucks in against me, soft and warm and relaxed. My whole career has been spent on one winning team after another, and yet those accomplishments pale in comparison to the fact that this man feels safe with me, and I hope to have him by my side, always.
“What a coincidence, mon corbeau. I’m happy to be in love with you, too.”
Epilogue
Jake
Six Months Later
Mon ange is standing, naked, holding a length of black silken rope in his hands. My breath is shallow. We’ve been working with Riley to reduce the intensity of my triggers with exposure therapy and have played with light bondage: rope laid out across the wrist, a loose scarf tied to the head board, and now, this.
“Mon corbeau, put your hands behind your back.”
Slowly, sensually, he ties my wrists together behind my back, making my heart pound in my chest as I give him the thumbs-up that I know he wants. There are other, more restrictive knots to play with, but for now, a simple wrist knot is getting me there.
He walks me to our bed and bends me over the edge, nudging my legs wide, making me feel vulnerable and exposed as he kneels behind me and licks my freshly washed ass. I can’t help my squeal of delight, which I’m sure he fucking loves, if the deep, rumbly chuckle against my asshole is any indication.
“Jake, let me see your eyes.”
I comply and look back into his gorgeous, deep brown eyes. He shifts, stretching me to the point of pleasure-pain while taking my mouth with his. He whispers sweet nothings and directives in my ear, a stream-of-consciousness of filth, pleasure, and domination. My sweet, sweet gentle giant. This being surrounded by him has my body bucking of its own accord, begging for release as his girth presses against that bundle of nerves in a way that makes my eyes roll into the back of my head.
“Please, may I come now?” I ask. Having already been denied twice, I’m desperate for his command, straining against the soft rope.
“Come for me, Jake,” he says, finally putting his large hands on my hard, leaking cock, pulling on it in rhythm with the pounding in my ass.
My body, who knows exactly who its gentle master is, bows up at his words, then lets loose an aching, deep orgasm that goes and goes. My cum contrasts on his skin, his strong, nimble fingers continuing to work me until I have no more to give.
He raises his hand so that I may clean off the evidence of his total consumption of me, and I give him gentle licks until he smiles, satisfied with my work. A sense of pride and love fills me, and I blink up at him, feeling myself return to my body, and inhabit both the shadow and the light that live within me.
Jean-Pierre
Slowly, I remove the rope from Jake’s wrist. He is a work of art, unraveled in my arms. His trust is a sacred gift that I hold close to my heart at all times. We kiss, and my dark raven rises from the depths, a hybrid of ecstasy and peace.
The charity dinner for our Worthy Prosthetics Foundation was a success, and, true to our word, we gave the press who’d stalked us the VIP access they so craved. It wasn’t my favorite, but getting people to back off gave me and Jake the opportunity to simply be in the world. I still get recognized frequently, but the people in this town allow us room to breathe, and for that I am grateful.
In addition to today’s bondage, we’ve been upping our kink game, slowly adding back the elements he enjoyed. Seeing the progress, knowing that I know how to support it and push for it, gives me more satisfaction than I’d thought possible. More importantly, our patient, steady love for each other grows every day.
This afternoon, we celebrate his father’s wedding to the darling Suzi. It will be a simple affair, and afterward, instead of heading home, I’m surprising him with a trip out to the country. I have a black velvet box in the inside pocket of the bespoke suit jacket I’m wearing.
Tonight, I kneel for him.
Thank you for reading Surrender, book two of the Wrecked series! Want to get even more Wrecked? Roly and Heath’s book, Stillness, will be released in May 2020.
You can also check out Scout and the Lavender Girl (my F/F romance under the pen name K.C. Littleton) for Scout and Evie’s sweet, hot enemies-to-lovers story.
Story Notes
The life of a writer (02/04/2020):
Me, three weeks ago: Wow, the guys in Book 2 are cooperating, and this ridiculous pub schedule might actually work! Let’s add it to the website, put it on the back of the book, and make sure to mention it a few times in that interview you’re gonna do tomorrow.
The guys, two weeks ago: We’re done cooperating. That’s far too many subplots, and you’ve gotta let Jake be Jake. Try again.
The guys, a week ago: Almost, but we’re gonna need you to move the suffer sauce from here to here. Also, that really tense scene? Let’s make it inappropriately funny. And… re-write the ending while you’re at it.
Me, last night, exhausted after an intense week of re-writes: Guess I’m going to have to move out the pub date.
The guys: Probably for the best, but you’re so, so close. Almost there. I promise.
Me, at 5:30 a.m.: OooooOooooh. THAT’S WHO JAKE IS. I get what I was trying to tell myself this whole time.
The guys, this morning at 5:30 a.m.: See! There you go! Was that so hard? I told you that all you had to do was let Jake be Jake.
Me: You assholes. You waited until literally right now to tell me who Jake is. Like, in his soul.
The guys: *shrug* Guess you’re glad you decided to move out the publish date.
Acknowledgments
Where to begin? I’d wanted so much to write a book about two characters with PTSD because I have that diagnosis, and dammit, I wanted that HEA. What I hadn’t yet fully understood when I’d written the Story Notes is that I’d actually badly triggered myself with one of the book’s major story arcs, and in the end had to do a massive rewrite. It was scary to have to make that pivot, but worth it to tell this story.
There are two big damn heroes – Jill and Shay – who read early, raw versions of this story and helped me to figure out where to go, and whose faith in my ability to find my way exceeded my own.
Thank you to Slade for letting me talk through my thought process, for telling me that I had permission to include the nuts in this here brownie, and for letting me update the version I had you read several times.
Thank you to Rheland for some damn fine feedback, and for generously sharing cultural details that enriched Jean-Pierre’s story.
Thank you to Sandra for gently reminding me that sometimes I need to calm the hell down.
Finally, to Amy: Thank you for reminding me that this is supposed to be fun. There’s no one else I’d rather be quarantined with.
About the Author
Hi there! I write contemporary gay romance, which is to say that I curse way too much, drink exactly the right amount of red wine, and sleep far too little. I’m also lucky enough to live in Central Texas with my wife and three dogs (and usually a foster dog or two), where the astonishing diversity of humans and landscapes and tattoo shops serve as my muse.
If you enjoy what you’ve read, reviews on Amazon and Goodreads, along with word-of-mouth (er, Facebook) are so appreciated, and are lovely ways to get this book and series noticed.
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Check out my Facebook reader group The Fox Den for giveaways, first-look cover reveals, and more, and follow me on Amazon to be notified of new releases by email.
Also by Kelly Fox
Sanctuary, Wrecked Book One
(Nick and Elijah)
What's the first rule of running a gym by and for combat vets? Enjoy the scorching hot scenery, but get your kicks somewhere else.
Never mind that my cousin-slash-business partner ignores that rule every chance he gets. I don't ignore it. Ever. And frankly, between Grindr and living in one of the gayest cities in America, it's not exactly a hardship. Hell, it's so easy, I can do it on one leg.
That is, until a pair of blue eyes swimming with vulnerability shows up at my door, looking for a job. He's too skinny, too mouthy, and way too young for the likes of me, but he pings that protector instinct in me, hard.
I want to fix whatever put that lost look in his eyes, but to manage that, I'd have to do the one thing I said I'd never do. Break my own rules.
Sanctuary is an post-military MM romance featuring hurt-comfort, found family, and a gym full of ripped men wearing tight shorts lifting heavy objects.
Coming soon:
Stillness, Wrecked Book Three
(Roly and Heath’s story - May 2020)
F/F and Paranormal Romance as K.C. Littleton
Scout and the Lavender Girl
(FF prequel to the Wrecked series)
If a bisexual runs into a lesbian’s U-Haul, is that the equivalent of a second date?
Evie Koenig likes winged eyeliner and a solid business plan, but her post-divorce three-job-minimum life is a bit of a disaster, not to mention the fact that she’s just buried her car under the back end of a huge moving truck. Which, by th
e way, happens to be driven by one of her sports heroes and the architect of her bisexual awakening. #fml
Scout Martinez, retired WNBA star, is trying to put her life back together after her health, love life, and investments have all taken a beating, and she has no desire to get involved with a curvy, lavender-haired bisexual with zero girl experience. Not. Going. To. Happen.
It’s too bad, really, that they keep running into one another.
Butch/femme, enemies-to-lovers, first time, HEA
Violet Crown
(Paranormal bisexual romance; but I repeat myself)
Violence and bloodshed should not be the foundation for a relationship.
Dr. Hedy Villarreal is a 40-something criminal psychologist with a foul mouth and a dead wife, and recently, life has taken a turn for the weird. One minute she’s living on a beach in South Texas; the next she’s discovering that there’s a black ops unit operating out of her family’s property deep in the Texas Hill Country. Oh, and her new best friend is a muscle-bound woman with fangs and hair that rattles.