by Karen Foley
“Listen, son,” he said carefully. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned during my time on this earth, it’s that the biggest regret is wondering what might have been.”
“I tried marriage once, and it was a disaster. But if I want Callie in my life, eventually it’s going to come down to marriage—that’s just the kind of girl she is. I don’t know if I can do that again.”
Mike leaned forward. “You were both too young. I know I was hard on you back then, but all I could see was you throwing your life away on a girl you didn’t really love.”
That surprised Tyler. “You don’t think I loved Alicia?”
“Not one whit.” Mike shrugged. “You loved her just fine with your body, just not with your heart.”
“So how do I know it’s not the same with Callie?”
This time, Mike didn’t hide his satisfied smile. “Because it’s been a month since you’ve seen her, and you’ve been moping around here like a lovesick teenager ever since. You have her number? Call her. Tell her how you feel.” Mike stood up and laid a hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “Your mother said you should come for dinner next Wednesday. I’d like that, too.”
Tyler watched him leave. Several minutes later, Vin slid into the chair opposite. His expression was one of interest and concern. “So? How’d it go?”
“Strange,” Tyler admitted. “Very strange, but in a good way.”
Vin’s eyebrows went up. “Really?”
“Hey, tell me something—have I been moody lately?”
Vin stood up and backed away. “Whoa, bro. I am so not going there. Just tell me one thing—did you screw up?”
Tyler thought about Callie, and how much she’d been in his thoughts during the past month. He thought about her father, and wondered if she’d found a place for him to live. Had she returned to California, or was she still in St. Mary? These were the same questions that had been plaguing him since he’d returned to Glacier Creek. So maybe Mike was right. Maybe Tyler should give her a call. If she didn’t want to see him, or wasn’t willing to work something out, then at least he could say he’d tried. Had he screwed up?
Big time.
*
Two more days passed before Tyler gathered enough courage to call Callie. Two days where he sometimes felt as if he’d wandered into an alternate universe. He saw Mike Eldridge frequently at the smokejumper base, and it wasn’t that Mike treated him any differently than he had before—he didn’t. But everything had changed, because now Tyler knew how Mike really felt.
He was at The Drop Zone, sitting at the bar. He and some of the other guys had grabbed a burger and then shot some pool. With the last game over, the guys had drifted back to the bar, and Tyler stepped outside where it was cooler and quiet.
Pulling out his wallet, he withdrew the slip of paper with Callie’s information, and punched the number into his cell phone. His heart was beating a little faster than it should. The phone rang several times and then went to her voicemail. Disappointed, Tyler hung up without leaving a message. He glanced at his watch. It was almost 11 p.m., which meant it was almost 10 p.m. in California, if that was where she was.
Tapping the phone against his thigh, he thought again of her beautiful eyes, her glossy hair, and how smart and passionate she was. Had he really thought she would be hanging around, waiting for him to call? He felt like an ass. A beautiful woman like Callie was probably out doing what pretty California girls did on hot summer nights.
At that moment, his cell phone rang and he had an instant surge of hope and anticipation, quickly dashed when he realized it was the base dispatcher, recalling all the smokejumpers back to the base.
They had another wildfire to jump.
Chapter Fourteen
Callie sat and stared at her cell phone.
Tyler had called, and she’d missed it. She’d gone to bed early the night before, leaving her cell phone in her pocketbook in the kitchen. She’d never even heard it ring. She’d only realized he’d called when she’d pulled her phone out to call her mother, and realized there was a missed call.
He hadn’t left a message.
Was he okay?
Did he miss her?
He had tried to call her.
She turned the phone over in hands that trembled. Knots twisted in her stomach. It had been a month since she’d seen him. She’d thought of him so many times during those weeks, but had decided he was right—it could never work between them.
She’d returned to Monterey last week, after spending an additional three weeks in St. Mary. Her father had gone into a rehab facility, and Callie had spent most of her time trying to persuade him to return with her to Monterey. There had been mountains of insurance paperwork to complete, related to the loss of his house and the damage to his property. She’d been exhausted and frustrated, when help had arrived in the most unexpected way.
Callie’s mother had arrived in St. Mary, and told Callie to go home, that she would take care of everything.
“But, Mom,” she’d argued, “you haven’t even talked to dad in years. Why would you do this?”
“Because I love you,” she’d said. “And because you have a job you need to return to, and I have my summers off. And because like it or not, Frank is going to listen to me.”
She almost felt sorry for her father, because when Nancy McLain set her mind to something, there wasn’t much that could stop her. Seeing her parents together again also brought back all the unpleasant memories from her childhood, when their marriage was falling apart. They had avoided each other as much as possible, and when they were together, they inevitably argued.
They still argued, but Frank seemed to relish their encounters, and it hadn’t escaped Callie’s notice he capitulated to Nancy’s demands almost too easily. She had returned to Monterey with mixed feelings, hoping her parents didn’t end up killing each other—or getting back together. She wasn’t sure which would be worse.
In the end, Frank had decided to relocate to Missoula, and volunteer part-time at the wildlife sanctuary where his wolves had been permanently resettled. That way, he could still be involved with them, but without the stress of managing the sanctuary. This worked perfectly for Callie, since he would also be close to a hospital and other services. Nancy had promised to remain in Montana until he found an apartment.
A cold, wet nose nudged her hand and Callie dragged her thoughts away from her parents, to the dog that stood wagging its tail and looking at her expectantly, as if to remind her she was still holding the phone.
“Hey, Napi,” she said to the dog, gently stroking his head. “Should I call him back? Hmm?”
Napi whined softly and licked her hand. Callie had decided to adopt him, after nobody had come forward to claim him. His injuries had healed nicely, and his fur was beginning to grow back. He was a sweet boy, and Callie didn’t regret her decision to bring him back to California with her.
“Okay, I’ll call,” she said, and hit the redial button before she could change her mind. Her pulse kicked up a notch, anticipating hearing his voice, but the phone just rang and rang, and then finally went to voicemail.
You’ve reached Tyler. Leave a message.
The sound of his deep voice brought all the memories of him rushing back, and Callie disconnected without leaving a message. She scrubbed her hands over her face, feeling inexplicably depressed. How often had she thought of him during the past four weeks?
Every day.
Every hour.
She’d thrown herself into her work at the clinic, and took Napi for long walks in the evenings. She avoided spending too much time alone in her townhouse, which suddenly felt too large, and too empty. She thought she’d be happy to return to Monterey, but for the first time since she’d moved to California, she found herself missing Montana.
Up until her parents split, her childhood had been pretty idyllic, and she had loved the winters spent ice fishing, or skiing or sledding with her friends. She missed the beautiful, balmy summers spent hiking
through the park and swimming in the clear mountain lakes.
In fact, if she were honest with herself, it was only after her mother left Montana that her memories became less than idyllic, and that was because her father had been so unhappy. She missed Montana. She missed the landscape, the weather, and the people. But most of all, she missed Tyler.
She spent too much time watching the news reports and keeping tabs on the numerous wildfires around the country, in case there might be some mention of the Glacier Creek smokejumpers. But there were so many wildfires raging around the country, he could likely be anywhere.
Even California hadn’t escaped what was quickly becoming the worst wildfire season in decades, with numerous fires cropping up around the state. The news didn’t surprise Callie. Monterey was in the middle of one of the hottest summers on record. The air-conditioning ran constantly, and even nightfall brought little relief from the relentless heat. It was no wonder there were so many wildfires, with the soaring temperatures and shifting winds.
Callie had spent the last four days listening to the news reports about a massive wildfire in the Big Sur region, less than thirty miles from Monterey, which had already consumed more than five thousand acres and destroyed a dozen homes. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was still early, barely six-thirty. She didn’t need to be at the clinic until nine o’clock.
She made herself a cup of coffee and carried her mug and her cell phone into the living room to turn on the TV and see what was happening with the fire. She wasn’t concerned for her own safety; Monterey wasn’t in any danger, but she couldn’t recall a time when a wildfire had occurred so close to the city. Having witnessed firsthand the devastation they wrought, her sympathy went out to the residents who had been forced to flee the region, and whose homes had been destroyed.
When her cell phone rang, her heart leapt. But it was her mother on the other end.
“Are you watching the news?” she asked, without preamble.
“I just turned it on,” Callie replied. “Why are you calling so early?”
“Turn it to the local channel.”
Callie did, and her mouth fell open when she saw the coverage of the Big Sur wildfire.
“Oh, my God,” she breathed. “They’re not containing that wildfire; it’s getting worse.”
“They’ve called in more than a thousand firefighters, Callie. I’m concerned for you.”
“No, mom, don’t be.” She leaned forward to watch more closely. “The fire is still more than thirty miles away. It won’t reach Monterey.”
“That’s what your father said about the Lincoln Pass fire, and his house was destroyed.”
Callie frowned. “Yes, mom, I know. I was there. But this is different.”
“I just want you to be prepared, in case you need to leave. Don’t wait, darling.”
“No, I won’t.” Callie assured her. “Mom, do you know if any of the Montana hotshots or smokejumpers have been sent to Big Sur?”
“I know the reporters said six hotshot crews from around the country had been called in, but I don’t know if any are from Montana. They didn’t say anything about smokejumpers.”
“Okay. Listen, I have to go. I need to get ready for work.”
“Just be safe, okay?”
Callie hung up, but instead of getting ready for work, she sat glued to the television, watching the coverage of the fire. More than one thousand firefighters had been called in, which meant this wildfire was even bigger then the Lincoln Pass fire.
Her gut told her Tyler was there. But how could she be sure? Was he safe? What if the wildfire was bigger than they could manage? Wildland firefighters died every year battling wildfires.
Snatching up her phone, Callie redialed Tyler’s number. It went to voicemail again, but this time she left a message.
“Tyler, this is Callie. I’m so sorry I missed your call last night—I went to bed early and never heard the phone ring. Please call me back, okay? I need to know you’re safe.” She hesitated, wanting to say so much more, but in the end she chickened out. “Just…call me.”
She hung up, but the news reports coming in about the Big Sur wildfire only made her feel more anxious. She knew she wouldn’t be able to focus on anything until she knew he was okay.
She found the phone number for the Glacier Creek base and punched the number into her cell phone. Her pulse pounded in her ears.
A woman answered. “Glacier Creek Base Station, how may I direct your call?”
“Good morning, I’m looking for Tyler Dodson, please.”
“I’m sorry, but Mr. Dodson is unavailable.”
“This is Callie McLain, I’m a—a friend of Tyler’s.”
“How can I help you, ma’am?”
“I’m trying to find out if Tyler and his crew are battling the wildfire at Big Sur, California.”
Callie could sense the woman’s hesitation. Maybe there was some kind of rule about giving out that kind of information, but Callie had to know.
“Please,” she begged. “I need to know. I’m—I’m in love with Tyler. I need to know if he’s safe.”
There was another pause and Callie heard the woman sigh. “I know what you must be going through, truly. Yes, the crew is fighting the Big Sur fire, and have been for the past three days. But they’re all safe. Try not to worry, okay? I know it’s hard, but worrying won’t help.”
“Is there a way for me to get a message to him?” Callie asked. “I tried to call his cell phone, but it went straight to his voicemail.”
“Unless it’s an emergency, ma’am, I don’t think—”
“This is important.” Callie insisted. “I never told him how I feel, and if anything happened to him—” She broke off, unable to articulate her feelings.
“I’ll see what I can do.” The woman assured her. “What message would you like me to give him?”
“To just call me. Please.”
She hung up, feeling emotionally wrung out. Tyler was part of the hellish scene unfolding on the television. Miles and miles of blistering flames, consuming everything in its path. Helicopters were dropping water and retardant on the fire, and several images showed firefighters desperately digging fire lines in an effort to protect homes. Callie couldn’t tell if Tyler was among them.
She’d told the dispatcher she was in love with Tyler. She could argue she barely knew him, but her heart knew him. She knew everything about him she needed to know. He was strong, and tender, and had a compassionate nature he tried to hide.
She loved him.
She loved his courage and his compassion; she loved his sense of humor and his romantic streak.
And for the first time, she understood his reluctance to commit himself to her, or any other woman. Because he knew she would see these kinds of news reports and worry. For the first time, she had an understanding of what it was like to be in love with a wildland firefighter.
A smokejumper.
To worry about him, and not know if he was safe. To have her imagination run riot, creating worst case scenarios. To wonder if he would come safely home.
Chapter Fifteen
Four days had passed since Callie had called the Glacier Creek Base Station and left a message for Tyler. He hadn’t called her back. Callie didn’t know if it was because he hadn’t received the message, because he was unable to call her, or because he didn’t want to call her.
She’d been awake for most of the night, watching the news coverage of the wildfire, and had fallen asleep in front of the television. The Big Sur fire had finally been contained to the degree it no longer posed a threat to the surrounding homes. The firefighters would continue to work the blaze until it was completely extinguished, but it seemed the worst was over.
After taking Napi for a quick walk, she showered and padded into the kitchen on bare feet, wearing only a thin robe, with her hair wrapped in a towel. It was Friday morning and her day off. She didn’t need to be back at the clinic until Sunday morning, but she had no plans for the ne
xt two days, unless she counted food shopping.
Opening her refrigerator, she gloomily surveyed the leftovers and Chinese takeout boxes that had accumulated there. Closing the door, she turned on the coffeemaker, and her phone began to ring.
She picked it up and looked at the display.
Tyler.
Her heart nearly exploded out of her chest as she quickly answered it.
“Tyler?”
“Hey, how are you?”
His voice was warm, and sounded so strong and healthy, Callie nearly wept with relief.
“I’ve been so worried about you,” she confessed. “I know we haven’t talked since—well, in a long time, but I’ve thought about you every day.”
“I’ve thought about you, too,” he said, his voice a little rougher. “I’m sorry I couldn’t return your call, but things were pretty insane.”
Callie waved her hand in dismissal. “No, it’s fine, really. I shouldn’t have called the base station, but I was just so worried about you. You’re okay?
“I’m fine. Really good.”
Callie nodded, smiling, aware that her eyes had welled up. She swiped at the dampness with her free hand. “Thank goodness. Where are you now? Still in California?”
“Uh…yeah, you could say that.”
Relief swamped her. “Is there any chance we can see each other before you head back? I can drive to wherever you are. I just really need to see you, Tyler.” She hoped he didn’t notice how wobbly her voice sounded.
“Absolutely. I need to see you, too.”
Callie felt a little weak with the force of her own emotions. “Just tell me where and when.”
“Why don’t you open your front door?”
For an instant, her heart stopped beating, and then exploded into life. He was here.
She ran through the house with Napi on her heels, barking with excitement at seeing his mistress running. Callie wrenched open the front door, and there he was, still holding his phone to his ear, a silly grin on his face. He still wore his firefighting clothes, and he was covered in sweat and soot and dirt.