by Gail Koger
Derek walked over and dropped a kiss on my mouth. “Well, I did take you off their hands.”
“You say the sweetest things, sugar. When do I get to meet your family?”
“Dixon’s the only family I have left.”
“And you left him rotting in Sheriff Joe’s tent city, stuck wearing that awful pink underwear?”
He laughed. “You bet your ass I did. I also made sure he was assigned to the chain gang.”
“So, he could escape, right?”
“Maybe. Go eat your breakfast while I shower.”
“Breakfast? It’s midnight.”
“It’s a new day.”
Yeah, it was. I asked hopefully, “French toast?”
“With bacon and chocolate syrup.”
Standing on my tippy toes, I gave him a thank you kiss. “My favorite. How’d you know?”
“You’re my wife; it’s my business to know.”
Whoa, he got that from my background check?
He was taking this marriage business seriously. I stroked his Mister Happy. “Maybe later buddy.”
“You’re killing me, Angel.”
“I do what I can.” I came to an abrupt stop and stared in amazement. A table had been set up with fine China, a pristine white table cloth, orange juice in champagne flutes and a single red rose in a vase.
My husband kissed my neck. “Romantic enough?”
Speechless, I nodded. Aw, he really was my Prince Charming.
Chapter Fourteen
Prince Charming Derek wasn’t. The big jerk expected me to stay behind while he retrieved the stucco warrior from The Best Whore House in Vegas.
“What happened to me never leaving your side?
You know the whole eat together, sleep together, crap together nonsense?”
Derek rubbed his forehead as if he had a sudden headache. “You’re not going. It’s too dangerous.”
“But I have you the big, bad Navy Seal and all that expertise to protect me.”
That earned me a killer glare. “No. End of discussion.”
Like hell it was. “You need me there to disable the security system and flash on the next clue.”
“I’m quite capable of disabling the alarm and picking a lock. I’ll bring the stucco warrior back and you can do your woo-woo shit.”
“It doesn’t work that way.” A big, fat lie but I had to give it a shot.
Derek cocked a disbelieving eyebrow. “Really?”
“Ask Fabian, he knows.” Being family and all, he should back up my story.
“Okay, I will.” He opened the bedroom door and gestured, “After you.”
My husband escorted me down the hallway to a steel door with a heavy metal bar and high tech security keypad.
If the big jerk made any attempt to lock me in his little jail, I’d geld him. I pointed to the metal bar securing the door. “A bit of overkill isn’t it?”
“Not with your family.” Blocking my view, Derek typed in a code and opened the door.
One hundred and eighty pounds of pissed-off male slammed into him.
“No Fabian!”
The two men rolled over and over on the floor, pounding the crap out of each other.
“Stop it!” I dodged a flying kick. “Stop it right now!”
Okay, shrieking like a fishwife wasn’t working.
Testosterone had definitely rotted their little pea brains. Neither of them paid the slightest bit of attention to me and both seemed equally determined to kill each other.
“If you don’t stop, I will stop you.”
A ruthless ferocity etched into their faces, Derek and Fabian kept on exchanging blows.
Obviously, the knuckle dragging Rambos didn’t believe me.
An elbow cracked me in the jaw, knocking me backwards against the wall. Owie! Goddamn. That did it. Play time was over. Flipping my tranquillizer ring to the ready position, I waited for an opening.
Fabian slammed a fist into Derek’s stomach.
Derek retaliated by twisting my cousin into a punishing headlock and putting him in a choke hold.
“You’re both getting a time out.” I darted forward nailed Derek in the shoulder and got Fabian in the thigh.
Derek let out a furious roar and released my cousin. “Dammit, Zelda!”
Glassy eyed, Fabian staggered, dropped to his knees and cast me a reproachful look. “Bella.” He hit the floor face first.
His teeth bared in a frightening snarl, my husband moved toward me in spasmodic jerks. “I’m gonna tan your hide.”
I backed up. “I did warn you but your listening ears weren’t on.”
Derek collapsed to the floor and struggled to rise, but his body refused to obey. “You…had no…
right to interfere.”
“What are you? Twelve? All that macho posturing doesn’t fly with me. No more fighting.
We’re family. We don’t kill or beat the holy hell out of each other. Wait, that’s not exactly true. If it’s Aunt Sophie or Uncle Dante please feel free to unleash your homicidal tendencies. ‘Kay?”
He dragged himself forward. “Not… kay. ”
“True, only I can kill Aunt Sophie but Uncle Dante, the murdering bastard is all yours. You can beat him, stab him or use him for target practice and I’ll cheer you on.”
His right hand clamped around my ankle. “Not leaving me,” Derek rasped.
Aw, the poor guy actually thought I was running away again. I’ll admit I had given it some serious consideration but with the mate bond and all, I wouldn’t get very far. Besides, I kinda liked having the big guy around.
I patted Derek’s cheek. “You were going to leave me behind, sugar. How does it feel? Knowing I’m the one getting that stucco warrior, while you’re stuck here napping? Nighty-night.” I pried his fingers off my ankle.
Okay, I’m a bitch but I was still pissed at him.
Maybe we could have make-up sex later. Lots and lots of make-up sex.
Granny Annabel popped in. “Bella, what have you done?”
“They were trying to kill each other so I stopped them.”
Granny examined Fabian’s face. “Dios Mio! His poor face.”
“He won’t be doing that photo shoot in Rome.”
I hurried into the bedroom. Using Uncle Aldo’s newest gizmo, I retrieved my stun gun from the safe and grabbed my bag of tricks.
“Are you sure this is wise?” Granny floated after me. “The bounty hunters have tracked you to Las Vegas.”
Plucking Derek’s car keys off the dresser, I hurried out the back door and climbed into Derek’s
scratched-all-to-hell Hummer. “I’ll be in and out in no time. What could possibly happen?”
Granny Annabel rolled her eyes. “You need to ask?”
“I am not a shit magnet.”
Ed walked out of the garage.
Okay, maybe I was. I waved all friendly like.
He automatically waved back.
I started the engine.
His eyes bugged and Ed sprinted for the Hummer. “Stop!”
“Not a chance.” I hit the gas and watched him in the rearview mirror. Throwing up his arms in frustration, Ed tore off into the house.
Too bad I couldn’t put him to sleep, too.
Las Vegas traffic sucked. It took me an hour to get to the Best Whore House and another ten minutes to find a place to park.
In the dim light, the garishly lit whore house stood out brightly, exposing every inch of its peeling paint and decaying exterior. The cracked sidewalk was covered with rotting garbage, beer bottles and urine. The stench made my eyes water.
Only the truly desperate or soused willingly enter that place.
Was I that desperate? My lips twisted in self-mockery. Oh yeah. If I chickened out now, I would never find the treasure.
I jumped about a foot when a rat the size of a small dog ran across my shoe. Suddenly, I regretted
my decision to leave Derek behind. The area gave me the willies and having an arme
d-to-the-teeth commando at my side seemed like a really good idea.
Boisterous shouts, rock music and wild, unrestrained laughter spilled out into the street from the graffiti covered bar next door. A hollowed-eyed drunk loitered in the open doorway and eyed me hungrily.
It was time to suck it up and grow a pair.
Yanking out my stun gun, I held it up and triggered it.
The drunk stared at the arcing electrical current for a moment and then ambled off down the sidewalk.
I watched him until he disappeared into the darkness.
Granny materialized next to me and looked around in horror. “Dios Mio. You should have obeyed your husband.”
My temper flared to life and I snapped, “I’m not a kid. I don’t need a daddy to tell me what I can and cannot do. I’m an adult and I make my own decisions. Got it?”
Granny Annabel vanished.
Shit. What was the matter with me? I’d turned into a bitch with a capital B. Opening my mind, I called, “Sorry.”
Two scantily clad women staggered out of The Best Whore House. One had bleached blonde hair with two inches of black roots showing and a
dragon tattoo crawling up the right side of her face.
Did men really find that sexy?
I focused my attention on the second woman and did a double take.
Her hair was a brilliant shade of pink and kinda reminded me of the cotton candy you got at the fair. She resembled a grotesquely made up Kewpie-doll. Two long pieces of toilet paper were stuck to her stilettos and fluttered behind her like well-trained dogs as she strutted down the sidewalk.
The women paused at the corner and flashed their double E not-so-perky breasts at the passing motorists.
I guess that was one way to attract a john or a cop.
Gangster’s Paradise suddenly blared from my bag. Dread knotting my stomach, I pulled out my satellite phone. It couldn’t be Derek, could it? God I hoped not. He was going to be beyond pissed.
“Hello?”
“Why was I not invited to your wedding, bella?”
Crap, Uncle Aldo. “It was one of those spur of the moment things.”
“I see and being drunk had nothing to do with the suddenness of the ceremony?”
Busted. “Ah…well…it kinda did.”
“Do you love him?”
“I do.” Damn if I could give him a good reason why. Derek was an overbearing, bossy prick who kissed like an angel. As much as I hated to admit it,
he had saved my life a bunch of times and he always showed up when I really needed him. Plus he had all those luscious muscles and clever, clever fingers. Hoo boy, I was getting hot just thinking about them.
“Does he love you?”
A good question and one I couldn’t answer, so I hedged, “He cares for me.”
“Your grandmother said without Sloan’s help, Asmoday would have taken your soul.”
“That’s true.”
“You are now mated?”
“We are.”
“Good. You need a strong man to control your impulsive behavior.”
“I’m not impulsive. I plan out my jobs meticulously. Why does every one treat me like a fluff brained idiot? I can take care of myself.”
“Bella your stunts are legendary,” Uncle Aldo scolded.
“I was a kid then. I’m a responsible adult now and I don’t do crazy anymore.”
Uncle Aldo let out a long sigh. “Where is Fabian? I have not been able to contact him.”
“He’s taking a nap.” I smacked myself in the forehead. God, I was such a blabbermouth.
“A nap?” The suspicion in my uncle’s voice had me cringing. “Did you help this nap along?”
“Who me?”
A fat businessman called from his spiffy, new black Cadillac, “Hey sweet cheeks, how much do you charge for a blow job?”
“Ten thousand dollars,” I yelled back. That should shut the idiot up.
The two hookers gave me the evil eye.
“Where are you bella?”
“I’m in Vegas.”
“For that price you’d better be able to suck chrome off a bumper,” the businessman shouted, waving a wad of money out the window.
Holy hell, he actually thought I was serious.
“Sorry, I’ve already got a date, buddy.”
The hookers stampeded over to him. “Hey lover, you can get the two of us for only fifty dollars.”
The fat idiot snarled, “I don’t want no diseased, skanky whore touching my Willie.”
With a snarl, Kewpie-doll launched herself through the window. “I’m gonna give you a blow job you’ll never forget.”
“Let go of my Willie,” the businessman shrieked and hit the gas.
I watched in amazement as the Cadillac careened wildly down the street with Kewpie-doll’s feet hanging out the window and the toilet paper flapping in the wind like two flags.
Her partner tottered after her yelling, “Stella!
Stelllla!”
Well that was something you didn’t see every day. All we needed now was a street car named Desire.
His voice full of concern, Uncle Aldo asked, “Bella? Are you there?”
The Cadillac barely made it a block before it slammed into a fire hydrant. A geyser of water shot twenty feet into the air.
Crap! It wouldn’t be long before the police showed up.
“Bella?”
“Everything’s great and gotta go.” I quickly disconnected, shoved the phone back in my bag and took a firm grip on my stun gun. Throwing a cautious glance around, I headed down the alley, praying I didn’t step on anything nasty.
Well, color me surprised. The back door to the whore house wasn’t locked. I pushed the door open and stepped inside. A colony of roaches scurried away. Oh ick!
My nose wrinkled in disgust. The place stunk of sex, sweat, stale booze and despair. Moans and groans sounded from the rooms. I crept silently down the hallway, avoiding the used condoms and beer cans. Why in God’s name hadn’t the health department shut this place down?
I paused at the door marked office and pulled out my lock pick. A simple twist and I was inside.
A badly stained puke green couch was pushed up against a battered desk. The walls were covered with photos of people in explicit sexual poses. I
twisted my head and examined one picture closer.
Whoa! Was that even possible? She had to be double jointed.
A cold prickling ran up my spine. Shadows danced around the room and I felt them. Something ancient, something tainted with evil. Ghostly voices whispered in my head, Take us. I turned.
A neon sign cast a red glow over ancient dust covered stucco warriors. All but one was a guardian of the underworld. Touch a guardian and death would soon follow. It was the perfect trap for those foolish enough to hunt for Montezuma’s gold.
Horror curled into me like a living thing. My God, if I hadn’t put Derek to sleep, he’d be dead now. In that terrible moment, I knew I couldn’t live without him. He was the other half of my soul.
Sucking in a calming breath, I walked over to the glass case and studied the warriors. I could sense the presence of death. It reached out with skeletal fingers, luring the unwary with promises of eternal life and great wealth. But the price was your soul.
Opening the case, I carefully plucked a stubby little warrior holding a shield from the case and tucked it in my bag.
A flutter of movement, a whisper of sound spun me around.
An elderly man with yellowing parchment skin and wearing a molting black wig watched me closely. The Best Whore House in Vegas was embroidered on his ratty, blue silk robe.
Where in the hell had he come from?
He held open his robe, exposing a skeletal body covered in open sores. “Like what you see?”
“Omigod! That’s… I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”
The old guy touched himself with pride. “I’ve got the biggest cock in Nevada.”
I grimaced. T
he old guy’s penis reminded me of a shriveled up, diseased carrot. “Really? You must be so proud.”
He laughed, exposing rotting teeth. “I’ll give you a ride, you’ll never forget.”
“Oh… my…um… I think I’ll have to pass.”
“Playing hard to get, huh?”
“The dolt thinks he’s Hugh Hefner and this is his playboy mansion,” Granny commented in my head.
“Really? He’s that delusional?”
“The fool touched the warriors and he believes their illusions.”
“Shit! A dead man walking.” I edged around the couch. “I’ll just be going.”
“Not without a kiss.”
I flinched backwards. Hugh’s breath smelled like he had been licking someone’s nasty butt.
“No!”
“C’mon baby, just one little kiss.” He licked his cracked and bleeding lips. “I can tongue fuck with the best of them.”
My stomach roiled in disgust. “I’m afraid I have to turn down your generous offer.” I darted for the door.
The old guy got there first.
What was he? Speedy Gonzales?
A red glow bled into his eyes. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
Yee-flippin’-haw, the demon wanted to come out and play. “Okay, one kiss.” I moved forward, jammed my stun gun into his chest and pulled the trigger.
The demon’s shrieks shattered all the glass in the office as it convulsed on the floor.
Yanking the door open, I sprinted down the hallway, burst out the back door and crashed into a mountain of a man.
“Gotcha, little girl,” the mountain rumbled as his massive hand closed around my left arm.
“Beg to differ.” I pressed the stun gun against groin and lit him up.
He bellowed like a stuck pig and dropped to his knees.
“You bitch,” another furious voice spat.
Great, he had a partner.
Granny commanded. “Duck!”
Instinctively I obeyed and a fist missed my head by a scant inch.
BOOM! The back door disintegrated.
I hit the deck.
The old guy stepped out of the doorway and chambered another round into his shotgun. “I want
my kiss,” he shrieked and fired again. The kick knocked him on his ass and the birdshot hit the mountain’s partner in the shoulder.
Cursing a blue streak, the guy drew his Glock and opened fire.