That’s what led to a hundred more questions. Something I hoped I would never ponder about. I never wanted to get into Nate’s past. I just wanted to make the best of the present with him. But if his past also involves Diana, then I want to unearth every bit of information.
“I really can’t comment,” I answer honestly. “You know him better.”
She rises from her chair and with hands on her hips, walks towards me. “Nathan Bankers has always been a mystery. Quite an unpredictable guy. One can never say what’s going on in that head of his. I gave up a long time ago.”
I perk up hearing her words. Maybe, I was indeed thinking too much. Just because they have worked together for all these years doesn’t necessarily mean they had something going on.
“I suppose,” I reply with a shrug. “He might actually like it this way. He probably wants to put up a professional face in front of his team and colleagues just to keep his personal and work life apart.”
“Possible,” she tells. “He is smart and calculated to pull off something like that. But don’t go about over analyzing him, Sara. I don’t think he’s worth it. There were people before you who tried schmoozing with him, but to no avail. He doesn’t let anyone close and neither does he ever put relations over work. Currently, he’s pretty close to Stanley, even their families know one another, but still, Nate would never let Stanley off the hook if he were to make any mistake in work. He would never protect him. He’s just very strict that way.”
“I never planned on using him that way,” I immediately defend. “I was just curious.”
“I know,” she smiles. “I know you’re not like that. Just letting you know. I do think he’s fond of you, though.”
I raise my brows in question. “Really? It doesn’t appear like that to me. He always keeps pulling my leg.”
“Precisely,” she snaps her fingers. “He doesn’t do it with anyone else. I think it’s his form of showing affection.”
“Maybe he does it because I’m the youngest,” I offer as an explanation. I really don’t want anyone to start thinking that there might be something going on between me and him.
“That’s highly likely. Either way, you just join the meetings on time and don’t give him another reason to pull your leg.”
I want him to pull my leg. Treat me special and give me that exclusive treatment. I actually enjoy it.
I nod my head and she saunters away towards Stanley.
Diana is a good looking woman. Slim and tall with a narrow waist that girls die for. Currently, she has a bob cut with fringes in the front. It suits her. I’m nothing like her in looks. I’m pretty short with shoulder length chestnut hair. I’m not that slim. I’m more the curvy type. We are opposites and Nathan clearly has a thing for me. That also means, he never had any interest for her and there was nothing between them. But, is it really that simple? I don’t know. The way Diana was talking, it seemed more like she was warning me to stay away from him. Why? She doesn’t want to share him with anyone or maybe, she doesn’t wish for me to suffer the same fate as her? What fate did she suffer? Now everything seems fine between them. The more I think, the more questions I come up with but absolutely no answers. I don’t want to scare him with my questions, but I do need some answers. He has barely told me anything. I’m grasping at straws here.
“And he troubles me a lot. My son, I tell you, he really seems like a devil’s spawn.” She laughs and Stanley laughs with her. “Kids are troublesome at times,” he agrees.
How can I not consider her family? That’s important too. She’s happily married (so it seems) and has a two year old kid. I highly doubt she would show interest in a guy like Nate who’s at least ten years elder to her. It further strengthens the argument that I’m the crazy one. I shouldn’t be having any such feelings for Nate either. And worse thing – I highly doubt Nate even cares for ‘others’ relationship status. He never once asked me about mine.
“Sara, you joining?” She asks, motioning towards my desk phone.
“Yeah. I will.”
I join the call and say my name. Nate joins right after me and this time, I greet him.
“Hi, Nate. I bet you this time,” I tell proudly.
I can totally imagine him smiling as he replies, “You sure did, Sara. Keep up the good work.”
Even in that meeting, he was smiling a lot and all of his smiles were directed at me and me alone. Sex or no sex, I’m proud that I keep Nate happy.
“As we have everyone here, let me start.”
There is complete silence as we pay attention to his words. “Sorry I didn’t get a chance to publish the agenda of this meeting. It won’t take long. Just an announcement.”
This is interesting.
“It’s about you, Sara,” he announces. “I’ve something planned for you. You had sent me an email few days before, remember?”
Holy fuck. Of course, I remember. I was even wondering why he didn’t reply to it. I brushed it off thinking it was too insignificant and wasn’t worth a reply. I had no idea he would set up a meeting just to discuss that.
“Yeah. I was just giving my opinion on what we could possibly do on that Bitcoin project.”
“Yes. They were pretty good insights and I’m very impressed. Good job, Sara.”
I blush at his words. Diana actually mutes the call, turns my way and claps. “It’s not every day that Nathan passes such compliments.”
When I just continue to stare at her, dumbfounded, she continues, “I told you, he likes you.” she giggles.
“Thanks, Nate.” My heart is beating so loudly and erratically, I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually heard it over the phone. “Glad you found it helpful.”
“You’ve no idea. Her plan is pretty simple and with some coordination between the teams and right, timely communication with the business, I can totally see it working out as per our initial schedule. Like you guys were already aware, I was wary about meeting deadlines and how we should plan the cutovers for all our applications. The discussions about it were still in progress but Sara has come up with a good plan. I just forwarded the mail to the whole team.” He pauses. “Read it once, and then I’ll explain my operational strategy to implement her high level plan.”
Excitement and pure delight courses through my veins on hearing his words. This is actually happening. Finally I’m getting recognition for my work. Is it because Nate is truly impressed with my ideas or is he just trying to placate or impress me with an intent that I’ll easily concede to all his sexual demands? I don’t know. For now, I’ll stay happy.
“He really did that? He actually gave you credit for it?” Sophie asks, totally shocked. I don’t blame her. I was taken by surprise with Nate’s words too.
“Yeah. Didn’t see that coming. In fact, I didn’t even think so much before sending the mail. I just thought logically, came up with some ideas and just jotted them down. I thought he wouldn’t even read my mail. He gets hundreds of mails daily.”
She takes a sip of her Chardonnay, musing over my words. “I think it’s also a part of his job. Tapping potential of the new hires, encouraging them, helping them recognize their own skills, boosting their morale. And as far as you’ve told me, he’s good at his work. It’s the proof of the same.”
I keep my glass aside and sit Indian style on our deck chair. “So he’s just doing his job? My idea wasn’t that great, then?”
She shakes her head in denial. “I never said that. It has to be good if he considered it seriously and plans on implementing it. All I’m saying is, he wasn’t trying to be nice or going out of his way to help you. Don’t think too high of him because of this. I know how you tend to get, Sara, so I’m telling this. If you think someone is nice and trying to help, you tend to go out of your way to help them, landing in trouble yourself.”
“I know. I just wanted your opinion. I had preconceived notions about Nate. I thought he’s not approachable, and very strict, but I was wrong. He can be nice too.”
“
Maybe,” she takes another sip. “Too soon to say, so remain neutral for now. But forget Nate, tell me about the guy who’s been texting you.”
I don’t want to forget Nate. I want to talk only about him. But since I haven’t told her what’s going on between us, I can’t push this topic. Not yet. One day soon, but for that, I need to understand and take a stand about him. Until then, I have to keep my sister in the dark.
“Which guy?” I ask, bored.
She turns towards me and gives me the wide eyes. “You have got to be kidding me. You exactly know which guy I’m referring to. The childhood friend of yours? The one who took you to prom? The same guy who’s still very much interested and doesn’t miss a single chance to hit on you. His name is…”
“Josh, I know,” I complete. “But you also know it has always been one sided. I’ve always been in love with just one guy.” Till now. But that seems to be changing now…
“But that one guy is no longer your boyfriend and after your conversation with him, during which he clearly admitted that he’s dating another woman, I don’t see why you should stay single, drowning in his memories.”
This conversation is hard to have with my sister when she doesn’t know the complete truth. She thinks I’m still in the whole Bryce world, pinning for him. The truth is far from it.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I should jump into a relation with any guy who shows even a minute interest in me.”
That’s exactly what you did with Nathan. You jumped on him the moment he showed interest in you.
My conscience sure picks the perfect time to taunt me.
“Again, I’m not saying that. All I’m saying is, for now at least, Bryce is a closed chapter in your life and you are yet to start writing on the fresh page. It’s not wrong to give this guy a chance. I’m not telling you to get serious, but still worth a shot. And he’s not a complete stranger. You know him well.”
“Actually I don’t. He’s not the same guy he was back when we were neighbors. Going by his texts, it’s pretty evident that he’s more interested in getting physical. He keeps going on about how hot I looked in that dress and how sexy I am. It might be a compliment and he hasn’t directly insinuated anything, but we both can confidently guess what he’s going for. And knowing this, I can’t really encourage him and go out with him.”
And Nate? He’s been very discrete, right? He laid out in clear words that he just wants to fuck you and you shouldn’t be expecting anything else.
Stupid conscience. Why can’t it just stop? I need to drink.
I take my glass and down half of it in a single gulp.
“Hey, take it slow, Sara.” I nod. “Hear me out, first. Even if it’s more along physical lines, I don’t see what’s wrong in it? I’m not telling you to jump into bed with him or anyone else. You can take it as slow as you want, but still, maybe sex can actually help in putting things into perspective for you. I’ve never been a fan of no strings attached relations, but I must admit that, one night stand, especially with a person I vaguely know, has helped. Sometimes sex is just sex. There is no reading much into it. You can enjoy in the moment and leave it behind. Are you following me?”
She does have a point. Maybe, what I’m doing is not so wrong, after all. “Yeah, go on.”
“After Bryce, you’ve been very lonely. I know you’re hurting inside and just very confused in this moment. That’s why I feel, sex may help. If you’re really capable of having sex with another guy without guilt or pain weighing you down, then you can conclude that you’re indeed ready to move on and start fresh. If not, you can confess to Bryce, hear what he has to say and decide what to do. It was your decision to break up with him and now it’s your call to decide how you should move on. All I’m saying is, you can’t wait for love to knock your doors, you’ve got to seek it and that’s going to be a long journey. Crying for Bryce the whole time is not a good plan.”
That’s not all. If I’m behind Nate just for his sex appeal, and the hotness and power he exudes, then I can kill that notion on my own by testing if I’m capable of feeling the same for another guy.
“Come to think of it, Josh is a pretty good lucking guy and he’s also an entrepreneur. A pretty good achievement for his age,” I state.
You’re not just physically attracted to Nate. You’re actually high on him. Don’t lie to yourself.
“Exactly, you can try going out with him once and decide how you feel about him. But then again, Sara, don’t forcibly push feelings into this. If your heart doesn’t beat for this guy, it doesn’t. Don’t force love. Let it remain something casual. Mixing the two will be a disaster, especially when you believe the other guy is not serious.”
I down the reminder of my drink in a single go. I need to find these answers on my own and shut my conscience for good.
“A single date won’t hurt,” I tell confidently. “I’ll give this guy a try.”
She smiles my way. “All the best.”
It’s just a date and yet I feel I’m cheating on Nate. More precisely, my budding feelings for him. It’s not like he ever asked for exclusivity. He doesn’t care either way. But I do and sadly, I want him to care as well.
Chapter 12
Nate
“Don’t worry, Isla. It’s not that bad,” I try convincing my daughter. She gets worried for the slightest of the things.
“But dad, mom even told me that she had a tiff with you. This has never happened before. She usually brushes things off and within a day or two, everything is back to normal. But this time it feels more serious.” She sighs over the phone. The worry in her tone is palpable. Isla takes after Cecilia and Clay takes after me. So Isla is more sentimental and emotional like her mom. She takes everything to her heart.
“I’m not denying that it is serious but nothing to be so worried about. We will sort it out. You don’t miss out on your fun because of this. This trip is long due for you,” I try reasoning.
“Dad, you know what you’re doing now,” she scolds.
“And what is that?” There’s hint of humor in my tone.
“You’re trying to be super hero again.” I can’t help but chuckle at her comparison. “Don’t worry. I’ll sort everything. Leave it all to me. You enjoy….” She imitates my tone. “I’m not five. So that won’t work anymore.”
“Old habits die hard.” I clear my throat. “But on a serious note, Isla, this is not something you can help with. I tried explaining the same to your brother. It’s something personal between me and your mom. You have to let us handle this on our own.”
“Personal, really?” she scoffs. “Dad, we are a family. There is nothing personal that you will hide from us. We share stuff and help each other out. Mom’s tone this time was signaling something huge and upsetting. I couldn’t get it out of her, and I didn’t try too hard. She already seemed so upset. But I’m not leaving you off the hook so easily. You have to tell me what’s going on.”
I was afraid of this. Isla can also be very persistent, but I also have another pressing issue to worry about.
I check the time in my watch and tap the steering wheel impatiently. Five more minutes for Serena to show up. I hope she makes it on time. It’s a conversation that I tried to avoid, but couldn’t. So I just want to be over with it soon. One last ditch effort of mine.
“Dad, you there? Hello?” But before that I need to convince my daughter that everything will be fine soon. But this is also not an easy feat and Cecilia was well aware of it. That’s exactly why she chose to bring up our fight in front of Isla without giving any details. She knew I wouldn’t breach the topic with her, but she was also well aware of how stubborn our daughter is. Her plan was simple. She wanted me to tell her exactly what happened with hopes that she would be taking her side on the matter and it would get even more difficult for me to refuse her demands. But like Clay rightly pointed out, whose side Isla will take is highly debatable at this point. I don’t want to test it now, either. I want to nip it in the bud.
&
nbsp; “You trust me, right?” My tone is serious. I know Isla can even sense the despair in my voice.
“Of course, dad. You have always been my super hero. I trust you, no matter what. You can fix everything. But I just want to make myself useful for once and help you out. Even I get that mom becomes unreasonable at times. During those times I’m the only person who can get through to her. So all I’m asking is, try me this time. I won’t let you down.”
“I know, dear. I don’t doubt your ability to handle this so called crisis. You’re more than capable, but trust me when I say this. I’m just trying to protect you from dirty gimmicks of your aunt Serena. I honestly don’t want her to use you or try to brainwash you in any way. By getting you involved in this, I’ll be giving her a free pass to mess with you. I can’t stand that. It’s my responsibility to protect you and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
I’m met with long silence from her end. I didn’t want it to come to this. I didn’t actually want to take any names. I know that Isla looks up to her aunt and my small revelation might tarnish that image. But it had to be done. Cecilia pushed me to a corner, and I had to fight back. I’m sure this was also influenced by Serena, but whatever, that’s just the way she is. She never plays fair, but I’m well versed in handling my kids. Keeping Isla out of the loop and completely in the dark wouldn’t help. At least now after knowing the partial truth, she would let me handle it my way.
“So it has something to do with aunt Serena. That’s messy by itself. I..huh..I don’t know what to say. I can’t really take a stand without knowing anything. And come to think of it, it seems more like the conversation is better off between adults without me or Clay interfering,” she replies hesitantly.
“Exactly. That’s why I wanted to keep you both out of it. And it’s got everything to do with your aunt. Like you can handle your mom the best, when it comes to Serena, I rather do the talking. What can I say? Your mom is very conceding when it comes to her,” I explain.
Enticed by you (Miraculous Love Book 1) Page 15