“What do you mean by that? What do you plan on doing, Sara?” The surprise and fear in his tone actually surprises me. Did he really believe I would stay passive and not do anything?
“You’ll know soon enough, Nate. Very soon.”
I don’t give him a chance to reply and just cut the call.
I hobble to my bed and get under the covers. Tossing around restlessly, I switch to my side, reach out to the night-stand and open the top drawer. Grabbing on to the ticket, I hold it in front of my face.
A flight ticket to Seattle for Saturday evening.
This is probably the most daring thing that I’ve ever done. That too I’m doing this with complete disregard to the consequences. But I’m done waiting, pondering, second guessing his every action and trying to evaluate our feelings. Enough is enough. Damn the consequences. I’m going to confront him once and for all and truly see where we stand with my very own eyes.
How real is our love? When we meet and actually lay eyes on one another, will the same love blossom in both of our hearts pulling us to one another? The lure so strong that we happily and willingly fall victims to it? One look at Nate as he looks at me and I’ll know and understand everything.
This is a leap that I have to brave. It’s the only way to truly find out the truth and live my every single fantasy with him. It might be the first and also the last time I get to meet him. It might be the only time my heart gets to truly fly, escaping the bounds of my chest, but he might also be the one to stomp it with his bare feet. And yet it’s worth it. I have to meet him at any cost. I don’t care if it’s destined or not, I’m ready to write my destiny if it means I get to see and meet the love of my life.
This is also my safest bet. I can meet him Saturday night when Cecilia won’t be around. He wouldn’t have to explain his absence to her. I don’t have any idea about Isla and Clay’s plans, but they shouldn’t be a problem. He can make random excuses and take me out. It shouldn’t raise their suspicion.
I’m not even going to call him, informing him about my arrival in Seattle. No. He might still refuse to meet me. I won’t give him any chance to escape. I’ll get his address from Diana and show up at his doorstep. Like it or not, he will have to face me then.
Two more days to go.
Chapter 23
Nathan
I read Sara’s mail again, trying read hard to come up with a convincing reply. My fingers hover above my keyboard, begging me to type. When it comes to her, it becomes hard for me to just ignore and flag it as ‘taken care of’. Just this morning I received a ‘kind reminder’ about the same. It’s her demanding real and honest answers as to why I didn’t let her be roped in for the project that according to her would pave the way for her growth in the company. It was not actually a gentle reminder like the subject read. No. In fact, it was a rather harsh and heartfelt formal mail, desperately seeking my answers. And yet again, I don’t plan on replying to it. I don’t want to feed her lies and truth is something she is not supposed to know. It’s not for her. She just has to trust me on this. Trust that I have her best interest in my heart.
But it’s not this mail that’s my primary concern. It’s my whole conversation with her two days back. She was drunk, so I know everything she spoke came from her heart. No lies. No exaggeration. No traps. Sara was being honest and true to her feelings. I enjoyed those moments as much as I had dreaded them. I knew that sooner or later she would be confessing her feelings, but when she called, I was so unprepared. I didn’t know what to tell and how to put it across. My own emotions were overtaking my sense of control. Her words were music to my ears, making me the happiest man alive. It’s something that I had never heard before. Something I never felt before. Being unconditionally loved by the one you have fallen for sure brings great joy. Joy and pleasure of the kind sex can’t even come close to. When I first started talking to her, I had absolutely no idea that we would ever reach this stage. I would fall so badly for her that just for the sake of her happiness, I would forgo my own cravings and needs. Ironically that’s how and why it all started. I had sexual cravings for her, but she ended up owning my heart. A feat even Serena had failed at and all it took Sara was two months. So yeah, as happy as I was to hear my feelings being reciprocated, I had become selfless enough to realize that it’s not right or good for her. I’ll end up breaking her heart and killing her hopes. It’s inevitable. The sooner I rip the Band-Aid, the better. There is no point in prolonging the pain. And that’s exactly why as much as I wanted to tell her that I love her the same way, maybe even more so, I didn’t. I couldn’t even outright hurt her with my words, so I just chose to stay silent. That there was me being selfless and keeping her at the forefront. Just like Dr. Matthews had asked of me. I had never boasted of being a selfless man because I wasn’t. Even with Cecilia, it was more about being tied with responsibility than my feelings for her. I’ve changed and that too for the good, all thanks to that one person whom I can never be with and whose favor I can’t ever return. It’s a complete dead end for me and yet I know that Sara has something planned. She won’t let it end like this. My girl has always been a fighter. Never the one to give up. So going by her parting words, I know she is up to something. But I’ve absolutely no idea what. A part of me is up for the challenge, curious to know her next move. I’m also equally worried. She can be a bit too daring and unpredictable at times and that’s worrisome.
Just as I close my laptop shut, there is a knock on my door.
“Can I come in, Nate?” Diana’s voice is very easy to recognize. It’s sweet, unlike her. If someone pisses her off, she can be quite deadly too. I’m always on my guard when I talk to her.
“Yeah, sure, Diana. I was just finishing up my work,” I tell, gesturing her to take a seat.
“Thanks.” She sits on the wing chair across me and crosses her legs. Donning a simple saffron bodycon dress, she looks hot. And she hardly looks her age. She has always been this way and there is no visible change in her looks. But I was never attracted enough to make a move on her. There was never that pull and sometimes I wondered why. Not that I would act on my urges, but I was curious as to why I never got that urge in the first place. Now I know- She wasn’t Sara. None of them were. Maybe unbeknownst even to me, my heart always sought her.
“So, enjoying your stay here? The weather here takes some time getting used to. Especially the rain.”
“I know. I’ve not forgotten my old days here. Seattle’s weather is actually romantic. That’s the way I’ve always seen it. Love has always been in the air here.”
I give her a blank look and only when her brow arcs up in question, it flashes to me. There is another link between me and Diana. The one I had almost forgotten. It now makes sense as to why she jumps on every chance to come here. Memories. They also have a pull as strong as love.
“You can say that, I suppose. But I haven’t actually associated weather with such feelings. I’ve always been a boring, serious guy.”
“You aren’t boring, Nate. But there are certain moments that we just can’t forget. They latch onto our very soul and act as constant reminders of those incidents that have left a profound impact on us. Maybe you are yet to live those moments,” she tells, staring hard at the window pane. The clouds gather, signaling another downpour.
“That’s an interesting thought. Anyway, did you have anything important to discuss?” I ask, checking the time. It’s nearing eight. She’ll be leaving with Cecilia for the whole Ladies night out that they have planned. Arrangements for it have already been made. It surprised me when Cecilia came up with the idea, but I was in favor of it. Cecilia has to socialize more and get away from her sister.
“Yeah, Sara had just called and I was talking to her.” She stops at that and I don’t probe.
Sara had never told me that she is close to Diana. Colleagues yeah, but friends? So her calling Diana now seems rather odd. Doesn’t add up.
“She didn’t ask me to ask you anything, but it’s out of
my own curiosity. Why didn’t you just let her take up that project? She was excited about it and she was very disappointed when you let that chance pass.”
I heave a pent-up sigh and rub my jaw, pondering whether to tell her or not. It’s not some big secret but also something I don’t want to involve Sara in. Diana will understand better.
“I don’t trust or like Victor,” I state.
“Yeah, I’m aware of it. And you have always beat him,” she tells proudly.
“This whole project that he’s initiating, it’s going to fail. Even he’s aware of it. There are too many constraints and smooth execution will be a long shot. But management wants to try it anyway and that too on a low budget. Victor has enough bandwidth, so they assigned it to him. He’s not even trying that hard and once it fails, he just wants another person to shoulder the responsibility. And if that other person happens to be a fresher, then it becomes easier for him to report to his higher-ups that it was mainly because of her. He might not actually do it, but I don’t trust him and I won’t risk it, especially where Sara is concerned. Regardless of how long she stays here, I want her to have a good learning experience and definitely no red marks.”
“Wow,” she gasps. “You put so much thought behind that decision? I should have guessed. But didn’t that put you in trouble with the management? They wanted you to agree and get it done with, right?”
“Yeah,” I sigh, rolling my shoulders. “I’ll handle them, but I don’t want Sara to bear the causalities of the office politics.”
“I did tell her that you might have had your reasons but I don’t think she was convinced.”
“I know.” I lean back and stare up at the ceiling. “I don’t blame her for being pissed at me, but I don’t want to disclose the real reason. She’s new to all this. Especially the office politics. I don’t want her to be skeptical of everyone and everything right at this stage. It’s something that she’ll learn on her own from her experience. Until then, I’ll be looking out for her.”
And this information that I gathered about the project is supposed to be a secret. If Sara were to know, she would be giving Victor a bad time and the cat would be out of the bag. She would again come in trouble and I can’t let that happen. I keep this part to myself. Diana shouldn’t be able to guess just how much I have grown to care for Sara.
“Smart as always, Nate. I shouldn’t expect anything less from you. It’s good that Sara has someone like you looking after her. It’ll truly help her.”
“I hope so,” I answer with a smile.
I lie on my bed and gaze at the window. The clouds have become dense and have started to gather together. It’ll be raining any time now. I can even make a countdown for it to start. So used to it now and yet, every time it patters on the window panel, I grow transfixed, observing, pondering, and humming to the rhythm. It relaxes me.
Cecilia and Diana have left for the night. Isla is at her friends place for a sleepover. With his college life getting hectic day by day, Clay comes home once in a while and if he’s coming, he informs beforehand. I doubt he’ll be coming this time, so it just leaves me alone in the house. If not for the rain, I would have probably gone out too. I’m very tempted to call Sara but I’m stopping myself.
I drift into a sleep, almost missing the soft knocking on the front door. I wasn’t expecting any visitors at this hour.
Throwing my legs of the bed, I walk into the living room and towards the front door in my undershirt and shorts.
Just as I make it to the door, the sound ceases and I start to wonder if I was imagining the whole thing. Why wouldn’t they just ring the bell? I turn around, ready to go back to my room, when I hear the faint knock again. I immediately turn and unlock the door, opening it wide. It’s when my eyes fall on hers that my breath hitches and I go completely still. Unable to think, act or move.
Her face mirrors mine. It’s a mix of shock, fear, and underlying happiness and excitement that’s dying to take over her features.
The silence stretches as we gaze into each other’s eyes. The first drop of rain lands on her face, tumbles down her lips and collects in the V of her dress shirt. The slow patter of the rain is cut by her loud gasps as she visibly shivers.
“Hey,” she mumbles, swallowing sharply.
When I don’t offer a reply, still too stunned to wrap my head around the fact that Sara- My Sara is standing at my doorstep, she waves her hand, trying to evoke a response.
“I didn’t really presume that you would wander around wearing shorts in your home, even in this weather.”
“The weather’s always like this,” I offer with a smile. “I’m used to it. But you should have been more prepared. A sweatshirt or even a coat would have helped.”
“Right.” She nods, folding her hands across her chest and rubbing them. “Lesson learnt. Never step into Seattle without a hoodie. Moreover, you’ve always been the smarter one between us, Nate and that’s why I’m the one who made this journey here.”
“Nice and a smart way of saying you’re the stupider of the two.” I smirk and that playful grin takes over my face.
“So, you’re also a contender for the ‘being stupid’ title? If I were the judge, I would hand over the prize to you,” she tells with a satisfactory grin.
“And why is that?” I ask, mimicking her position.
“Because, it was you who started the whole affair, Nathan Bankers. And that was indeed stupid. If not, neither of us would be in this position.”
“And you regret it, now?” I ask, opening the door completely, and stepping aside to let her enter.
She makes her way inside with unsteady steps. I softly close the door behind her. With the click of the door, she plants her back against it and looks me in the eye. “No,” she replies boldly. “I never did and I never will.”
Sense and realization slams into me hearing her defiant words. The gravity of the situation almost brings me to my knees, but I stand my ground as I sear her with my gaze.
“What are you doing here?” I bark out, my legs moving on their own accord, inching closer to her.
She lifts her head, locking her shoulders. “If you expect me to give you a lame excuse for my presence, then you’re sadly mistaken. It wasn’t some sort of coincidence or even destiny. I flew here with the sole purpose of meeting you, Nathan. This confrontation was long due.”
“But why?” My voice breaks with the surge of overwhelming emotions but I still try to keep it together. “Don’t you think you should have informed beforehand? Given me some sort of heads up?”
“So that you could come up with a much smarter and believable excuse to avoid this? No thanks. I’m actually smarter than I give myself credit for.”
I inch closer, her face a mere breath away from mine. As I invade her space, I whiff her scent. It’s a mixture of fresh rain and a flowery perfume. It’s a smell unique to her. Struggling to not make contact with her skin, I cage her with my hands. Instead of squirming under my hard gaze, she meets it head on, staring at me with undiluted desire and lust. I’m well aware of this look on her face. My closeness and intimidation is not making her wither in fear and trepidation, instead it’s having the opposite effect. It’s turning her on and she’s actually enjoying this.
“When you knew that I would try to avoid this, which obviously means I didn’t want to meet for a strong reason, why the fuck did you come here, Sara? This is no longer a game. This shit is getting serious.”
“I know it’s serious. That’s’ exactly why I took this step. My answer has always been very simple and I’ve never lied to you. My heart wished to find its missing pieces. Every part of my body carved for your touch. And most importantly, I need this and you know why?”
I don’t answer her but my head dips low and my eyes move over her face, scanning her ever single feature to memory. I might never get to be this close to her ever again.
“Ask why,” she urges, fisting my undershirt and pulling me closer.
I bask in her
proximity and ferocity. Letting my façade slip for a moment, I smile, and brush my lips against hers. This moment. Our first contact. This forges a connection that will last a lifetime.
“I love you,” she tells in that smooth, husky voice. It’s a soft whisper, audible and meant only for my ears. Her eyes are enough to convey the same feeling. Those amber orbs are brimming me with undulated, pure love. Love for me. If this is not what they call love, then I don’t know what the fuck love is.
It would be so simple and easy to say – I love you too. And I would even mean it. But, what would follow after that? Would I ever be able to live up to those words and do the needful? She might never say or ask for anything, but I would truly be a monster to not give her what she rightfully deservers and deprive others from doing it.
Parting my lips, I trace her wet cheeks and whiff her again. If I let myself loose now, I’ll never be able to let go and this is where I pull the breaks.
“Nate,” she whisper pleads, parting her lips and leaning towards me.
I hold up my hands to her face but instead of cupping it like she expects me to, I slide them past her and unlock the door. The clicking sound breaks our moment. She staggers forward as I push the door open.
“I need you to leave,” I order. My voice is devoid of any emotion but if she looks into my eyes, she’ll know the pain I’m enduring. The rain hasn’t ceased but it’s just a light drizzle for now. She can catch a cab and make it back to her hotel before it worsens.
Shock takes over her face but she immediately snaps out of it, and levels me with her furious gaze. “No,” she tells defiantly. “We need to talk. If we can’t talk here, let’s go out.”
“No. There is nothing to talk about. We can’t do this. Please leave.”
It is a standoff. She stands her ground, waiting for me to change my decision. Her eyes soften, pleading me to give us a chance, but unlike her, my face doesn’t show my feelings. I keep it concealed under a stoic look.
Enticed by you (Miraculous Love Book 1) Page 29