by Jo Pilsworth
Then just two days ago, everything had changed. A young human had come into the Hunter’s Arrow, and I had noted the lines of strain on her face. I care for those around me, a facet inherent in being a Pack Beta, and the fact that she was human was irrelevant. She was in need of something, even if that was just a sympathetic ear, which as the ‘bar manager’ of the Hunter’s Arrow, was part of what I offered. That was all that I had intended to give her initially. But that initial offer had morphed into more. On realising that this young human, Merida, was alone at this time of year, the one time of year when ‘being alone’ seemed so much worse, impulsively I had suggested that she come to the Hall for the Christmas Event, our annual snowball fight. That had changed to offering that she spent the night at the Hall, and then joined us for the second day of the Christmas Event. Inviting her to watch the biathlon challenge had been, again, a suggestion so that, at a time of year when ‘family’ was so important, she would not be alone again.
Everything changed on the day of the biathlon competition. What had started out as my having a role in ensuring that my fellow Beta was not the victim of the cheating planned by his Mate’s birth pack, had turned into something so much more. Unlike Bran, I had not been under any misconceptions that I would not find my Mate at some point, but I had perhaps thought that she would be either Cŵn Annwn, or perhaps a shifter like Alix.
When the Gosselin Pack had attacked a young human spectator, just because she had the scent of the two wolves who had just beaten them in a fight, I had been driven to defend her. I had been responsible for her both having that scent trace, and for her being at the biathlon. In order to save her life, I had had no choice, but to transfer some of my own blood to her, to heal her sufficiently that I could transfer her to the Infirmary at Negrescu Hall so that our Healer could finish what I had started.
I had thought that my sense of obligation I had towards this young human had been due to my being responsible for her being in a place of danger. Never had I thought that I was driven by the fact that, in order for me to find my Mate, I had to carry out a blood exchange with a human female, whom I had met days before.
But that was what had happened. My Mate turned out to be a slim, dark-haired human, with eyes that spoke of sorrow, with tiny lines of tension on her face, from a nightmare that kept her awake at night. That young human female, about whom I knew nothing, other than she had been so alone. My Mate. And she had no idea of the world in which she now found herself.
She had thought that she was dreaming, when, despite our best attempts, she had woken on the night of the Pack celebration of the Winter Solstice. I had known that she was there. I could not have said how I knew that she was there, but as I had blessed little Liszka, the daughter of my friend and Alpha and his Mate, I had looked up, and my red, Cŵn Annwn eyes had met the dark eyes of my little human, as she had looked down, and listened to the song of my people, as we celebrated the return of the light into the world.
I had looked up, and just like in the best romances, our eyes had met, and I had known that my little human had seen a small part of the world that she had not thought existed. The ‘people’ with whom she had spent the past two days were not people, because ‘people’ didn’t have red eyes, and ‘people’ did not raise their voices in the eerie wolfsong that came from the heart. But such things could be attributed to a dream, particularly in someone who knew that they tended not to sleep, in whom nightmares were a regular occurrence. Perhaps it had all been a dream, and that was that. But it was not. I knew she had seen me.
Part of me wanted to tell her. Part of me wanted to say to my little human that the world is not as you might have thought, but to do so would have put her in danger. What is I had told her? Would she have been more cautious on the biathlon course had she known? Or, would it had only made her more fearful of me. If it had been the latter, could I have borne to have my little human look upon me with fear in her eyes? If I were to speak from the heart? No. I could not have borne to have my little human look at me with fear. She meant more to me that that, even if my brain did not wish to acknowledge how much that was.
So, when I woke on the morning on Christmas Eve, I had more than ample evidence that my life had changed forever. For the first time, I woke in my own bed, in Negrescu Hall, in my own suite, with my arms around another. I may have been lying on the top of the bed, whilst she lay under the covers, but still, I had woken with my arms around my Mate. I had woken with my arms around my little human, Merida. Never, in the seventy years since the Pack had made the Catskill Mountains our home had I brought someone else to this place. This was our Pack home. I had woken with women aplenty in the last 140 years. But never, not once had I brought a woman home to this place: to my suite in Negrescu Hall.
But when I woke up on Christmas Eve 2014, I woke up to find my little human, who was a human no more, in my arms. The quilt lay between us, a chaste barrier to anything untoward, even if Merida was the Mate who was predestined to be the other half of my soul. Until I could explain everything to her, until I could prepare her for what was to come, for how having my blood running in her veins would change her, I did not want her to feel forced into anything, and that included sharing my bed with me.
Make no mistake her life would change. No longer was she a human alone in the world since the loss of her parents. Now she was one of us, one of our Pack. She was Cŵn Annwn through the blood I had given her. It was only a New Moon now, but by the time of the Full Moon, the first full moon of 2015, her blood and mine would merge, and she would have the ability to change her form. I would be able to run with my little human though the forests around Negrescu Hall. She would discover the freedom that came with being able to run. She would find the pleasure in the world of scent and sound that humans would never dream existed around her. But, she would also find out that her ‘barman’ was the Beta of a Pack of Cŵn Annwn, that her Mate was a harvester of souls of those who had committed evil to such an extent that they would die. Sometimes they would die at my hands, and sometimes they would die at the hands of others, but the net result was still the same. I had killed, and I would continue to kill when sanctioned to do so by my Goddess and by my Alpha. Would my little human come with me when I carried out a harvest? She was the other half of my soul. As much as Aaleahya provided the light to Gavril’s darkness, my little Merida would provide the same for me. She would collect the souls of the victims, and she would prevent the darkness, the evil taint of those I would harvest, from contaminating my soul. Bran had commented that part of the role of our Mates was to prevent us from turning into something akin to a rabid dog. This was the world in which my little human would now live.
But, when I woke that morning, I had a smile on my face. Nestled in the crook of my arm, her long hair partially shielding her face, her head resting on my chest, but the quilt bunched up between us, was my little human. Her arm lay across my hips, covered modestly with a pair of cotton track-pants. Even in sleep, she was drawn to be close to me, as I was to her. It was the nature of Mates, to need to feel. In a tactile race such as we are, this was normal behaviour. Pack mates would brush arms, a child’s head would be stroked, a gentle kiss exchanged. Between Mates, a kiss, a touch, being held was also normal. I would be drawn to know that my Mate was safe, because my soul would know that her safety would ensure that I would never know the darkness that would otherwise be my fate.
A smile still on my lips, I stroked my little human’s head, the touch of her hair feeling so good. How can I explain that feeling? Warmth, knowing that I was not alone. I was Pack, I had my Pack, and so, I was not alone in that sense. But, until I had met my little human, until that crucial exchange of blood, in a forest, the snow spattered with her life’s blood, I had not realised that being alone is more than not having a family. I had not realised just how much my soul had craved to find the one being in the world who would make me feel complete.
Merida murmured in her sleep at my touch, and feeling through the budding Mating b
ond that was forming between us that my touch was welcome made even the slight tension in my shoulders relax. I was loath to wake her, knowing that she was still recovering both from her injuries and from the changes that her body and mind would undergo changing from human to Cŵn Annwn. I wondered whether her wolf would be dark like mine, the sable richness of her hair matching the fur of her wolf. I found myself hoping that this would be the case; my little human matching my own black wolf.
Still, I needed her to wake. The changes that would affect her would need to be fuelled and that meant that she needed to eat, and that, in turn, meant that I needed her to wake.
“Little human.” I murmured, stroking her hair. I leaned down to press a kiss to her head. “Little human, time for you to wake.”
Merida murmured sleepily. I heard her whisper my name. Gently, I moved her so that she was more upright, but with her head still in my shoulder. “Little human, I need you to wake up so that you may eat something.” I murmured again.
“Owain.” Merida voice was still sleepy.
“Come on, sleepy head.” I pulled the quilt up to preserve her modesty. “You need to eat.”
“Mmm … I want to sleep more.” Merida’s voice was soft.
“Well, you could, but then, you need to let me up, so I may fetch you something from the kitchens. You will need to eat, little human. It takes energy to heal.”
“But I want to sleep.” The protest was soft but insistent.
“And you may sleep, but you must eat.” Whilst it was far from common for humans to join the Cŵn Annwn, the need to sleep was something that was not unexpected.
Suddenly Merida sat up. “But I don’t have any clothes.” She squeaked. “I can’t go downstairs in just your shirt.”
My smile was wider, but it didn’t help her predicament to her mind. “Owain, my clothes were wrecked. All my stuff is back at my apartment. Omigod! My job! I was supposed to be at work today. Only for half a day, but I was supposed to be at work. I’ll lose my job.” She started to shake, a combination of delayed reaction and the rapid stream of thoughts and concerns running through her head.
“Whoa! Slow down, little human.” I stroked her head, before pulling her closer to me. “First, clothing is not a problem. We have people your size, and I am sure we can find something that will fit you. With regard to your job, I asked Alix, Bran’s Mate to call them. Alix is a police officer, so it was entirely believable when she told them that you had been injured in an attack, and were recovering from your injuries. If you still want to work, then you can, but given that I have been a Pack Beta for the last couple of centuries, I have more than enough to support you, also. You can decide on that when you have recovered.”
Stroking my little human seemed to help her, and her breathing calmed a little. “Now, first things first.” I asked one of the teens to bring me some clothing which would be the right size for Merida. Whilst I could have just flashed something in, there was a lot that she needed to learn about our world, and sometimes, it was the little things like flashing on a fresh set of clothes after shifting which tipped the balance.
There was a knock on the door, and I slipped from the bed to open the door. Taking the pile of clothing which had arrived, I brought it back to the bed. “There you go, everything you might need just for casual wear, including a sports bra, knickers, and some t-shirts and track pants. There is no need for formal clothing, and you will find that we tend to prefer natural fibres. The bathroom is over there, and I can help you if you wish. Alternatively, while you wash and dress, I will fetch you something to eat?”
I sat on the bed next to the pile of clothing. “Merida? Everything will be okay, but it just takes a bit of time to become accustomed to everything.” Taking her hand, I tried to explain. “You will find that your hearing will improve, your sense of smell will improve. You have already noticed that your body temperature now matches mine. The blood that I gave you will be healing your injuries, but you need to eat, to ‘fuel’ that healing process.”
“Will I change, Owain? Or will I still be me?” Merida’s voice was a whisper.
“You will always be my little human, Merida.” My voice was hoarse. “You will always have that. But, I won’t lie to you. You will be different.” I smiled. “I won’t lie. I can’t wait until you can come with me when I run. When the next Full Moon comes, you will be able to change your shape to a wolf. We will be there to help you, and you will be able to see how much more there is to experience.”
“I will become … a wolf? Really?” Merida’s shock showed on her face.
“Yes, little human. You will be able to change your shape into a wolf.” I stroked her hair. “Chances are that you will be a dark wolf, just like your lovely hair.” I continued to stroke her hair. “But like I said, I will be there with you, and Gavril will be there, as our Pack Alpha, to help you also. When we run as a Pack, it is for sheer pleasure.”
Merida leaned in against me. “A dark wolf? Like you?” She asked. Hesitantly, her hand reached up to touch my hair.
“Quite probably. Generally, our hair colour and our wolf colour are similar. Gavril is dark also. Alix is unusual in that she is a white wolf. Aaleahya is a lovely mix of grey and golden tones.” I explained.
“And this will happen at the full moon? Will I only be able to change at a full moon, like the werewolves in horror stories?” She half smiled.
“No. Werewolves may only change on the moon. You are, technically, a shifter. It means that will be able to change whenever you need to do so, either to protect yourself or to protect others, or just for the pleasure of a run.” I pressed a kiss to her head, whilst I composed my thoughts. “You will also have another form, because we are a bit more than shifters. But that can wait. Let’s take you through your first change first.”
Merida nodded. “I’ll get dressed then. I think I would like to come downstairs to eat, if that’s okay?”
I smiled. “It is more than okay, my little human. The others are waiting to meet you, but they don’t want you to feel rushed, or under any sort of pressure. It is not every day that we welcome someone from outside the Pack into our number, and you will find that they will be curious about you.”
As was often the case in the Hall, meals were informal. Merida knew this already from the breakfasts she had shared with us. Eira smiled broadly when she saw us, holding her arms wide in welcome.
“Come, come, both of you. I have made something special for you, Merida. It will help you recover faster and put a little more meat on your bones. Trust me, you will find that the little plate of fruit you have been eating so far for breakfast is nowhere near enough food for you now.” As she chattered, Eira bustled around the kitchen, pouring a high energy drink for Merida, and placing it at the seat next to mine. “Now I know you don’t normally eat this, but just try it.” Eira continued. “If you really feel that you can’t eat it, then I will make something else for you.” A plate of food followed her words. “Now sit, young lady, and start eating.”
Merida looked a bit doubtful at the small mountain of food placed in front of her. She had admitted that she didn’t eat much for breakfast, but this higher metabolism of a Cŵn Annwn would mean that her dietary needs were going to change substantially.
“Just try it, little human.” I suggested. “You might be pleasantly surprised.”
Merida had a dubious look on her face, but speared the pile of pancakes on the plate in front of her. Eira had coated them generously with real maple syrup, rich in carbohydrate. Cautiously, she inserted a forkful into her mouth, and a look of surprise crossed her lovely features. Another forkful followed, and before long, the plate was empty. Eira looked on, with a smug look, as a second plate appeared in front of Merida, almost by magic. The second plate disappeared, just about as fast as the first. It was replaced by a plate containing egss, bacon and another small stack of pancakes. Again the food disappeared.
“Now, drink the drink I have prepared for you, child. When you need more
food, I will be here to prepare it. Come and eat as often as you feel necessary. The kitchens are always open.”
As we returned to our rooms, I explained to Merida about the amount of food that we did eat. “During the war, it was fortunate that Aaleahya had the ability to ensure full harvests when we needed them, and that we maintained herds of deer and other game animals in the forests around our home in the Carpathians. We have a much higher metabolism that humans, and that means we need more food. You will find that, as Eira said, you will eat more, until such time as the changes you are undergoing settle down.
“But I ate so much just now.” Merida seemed puzzled.
“And that was just breakfast, my lovely little human.” I smiled at her. “Now, indulge me, and let me carry you back upstairs. You are still recovering, and I would rather all that food went towards your recovery.”
Merida had given me a soft smile, wrapping her arms around my neck, as I lifted her into my arms.
As we returned to my suite, I realised that I was enjoying myself, in just holding Merida in my arms. Knowing that she seemed to feel as comfortable as me with being so close, and seemed to enjoy being held? It was a heady feeling. I had seen others in the Pack go through the mating dance, the initial process of finding that other individual who was our mate, the first few days of realising how good it felt to be close, to be touching your mate. Interestingly, given that Gavril and Aaleahya had been mated for over a century, that need to touch, to be close had not shown any signs of decreasing. That was something that, suddenly, I realised was mine to enjoy.