“You slept with my daughter?” asks Belinda's indignant voice.
“Mrs. Smith, I love your daughter,” yells Kyle.
“Oh, God,” says Belinda, and slides back down the table leg, defeated by exhaustion.
“Keep quiet,” yells Lauren. “All this talking isn't doing Belinda any good. She's lost a lot of blood.”
“Oh, my God, Mum!” says Mary, covering her mouth with her hands. “Come on, Mum. Please.”
“Don't worry,” says Kyle, putting his arms around her. “If anyone's a fighter, she is.”
They all stand and watch as the firemen add the finishing touches to their ropes. Kyle hugs Mary. Barbara holds Derek's hand. Howard mops the sweat from his brow.
“Uno, due, tre!” shouts the foreman, gesturing to Signor Bianchi that he should start the engine.
Signor Bianchi fires it up and slowly heads down the hill toward what is left of Belinda's jerry-built swimming pool. The ropes tense. Franco and Bruno Bianchi guide them over the rubble. There is a squeaking and a moaning as the ropes tauten.
“Attenzione,” shouts the foreman as the beam begins slowly to lift. “Attenzione.” Two ropes snap under the strain. The stone and mortar shift. “Attenzione!”
Signor Bianchi's face is covered in sweat, and the veins on his neck stand out as he tries to control his tractor, keeping its advance steady and straight. Finally, there is an almighty crack as the beam shifts free, the rubble pours down the hillside, Signor Bianchi spins forward, the beam drags along the ground, and a huge cloud of dust is sent into the air.
Howard is the first through the dust. “Belinda! Lauren! Are you okay?” he asks, swiping the clouds out of his way.
As the dust settles, a small, sturdy table emerges. Howard is the first to approach it. He bends down and looks in. “Are you okay?” he asks, looking from Lauren's sweat- and dust-stained face to Belinda's glassy eyes. They both nod. “They're okay!” he shouts, and waves to the crowd.
“Thank God,” says Mary, collapsing into Kyle's armpit. “Thank God for that.”
“Thank you,” says Kyle, glancing heavenward, before kissing Mary on the forehead.
Barbara applauds, Derek and Franco join in, and soon the whole rescue team is clapping. Franco congratulates his father on a job well done, and two stretchers appear around the remains of the house. Four firemen arrive and remove the table. Belinda and Lauren blink in the unfamiliar sunlight, their condition drawing gasps from the crowd. Kyle and Mary run for-ward. A fireman holds them back.
“Mom!” shouts Kyle. “Thank God you're alive.”
Lauren is first out. Her dusty face contorts with pain as she is helped onto a stretcher and transported over the rubble to the emergency first-aid area set up on the grass. Belinda is unable to walk, so she is lifted out of the rubble by two strong, handsome firemen. Unfortunately, her legs are lifted first, and her cream nylon nightie falls over her head, revealing her pantlessness for all to see. The fireman quickly tries to cover her up, but not before the whole valley has glimpsed a rather sparse triangle of pubic hair.
“Mum!” cries Mary. “Are you okay?”
Her body is heavy, her head hangs loosely to one side, her cut and bloodied feet flop with each step that the stretcher bearers take over the stones. Belinda is placed on the ground, and a paramedic gets to work, pumping her full of fluid and plasma, covering her nose and mouth with an oxygen mask. Mary runs to take her mother's limp hand. Everyone stands and holds their breath. The color returns to Belinda's dusty cheeks as another paramedic concentrates on stemming the flow of blood from her feet.
“Thank God you're safe,” says Mary, stroking her mother's face. “I'm so relieved.”
“My home,” wails Belinda, as she sees what is left of it. “What has happened to my beautiful house?”
“Casa Mia was the only house to collapse in the whole valley,” explains Barbara helpfully. “Amazing.”
“That's what comes of having Ital—” Belinda stops herself and catches the eye of Signor Bianchi, who is still being congratulated, standing by his tractor. “That's what comes of having cheap builders,” she says.
“So, where are you going to stay?” asks Barbara, more out of curiosity than concern. “When you come out of hospital, I mean.”
“With me,” says Lauren, sitting up on her stretcher, feeling all the better for painkillers. “She'll stay with me.”
“Oh, Lauren, I couldn't,” mutters Belinda.
“I insist,” says Lauren. “How else are we going to keep an eye on these two?” she says, pointing to Kyle and Mary.
“But, really—” says Belinda.
“No, no, I really do insist.”
“Well, it doesn't look as though I have much choice,” says Belinda, glancing back at what was once her home.
“You have no choice at all.” Lauren laughs. “You have nothing left.”
“Right,” says Belinda. “That's very kind.”
“Yes,” says Lauren. “I do like it when a plan unexpectedly works out so well.”
She smiles a special tight smile. The one she always employs after a particularly satisfying hostile takeover. Unfortunately, Belinda is looking the other way.
A READER'S GUIDE
Imogen Edwards-Jones
A CONVERSATION WITH IMOGEN EDWARDS-JONES
Q:Tuscany for Beginners is told from two vantage points—we hear Belinda's version of the events that unfold in Val di Santa Caterina, and then we get the “real” story. How did you decide to tell the story with these alternating narratives?
A: I like the idea of artifice, of lying, not only to everyone else, but also to one's self. A certain type of Brit is very good at putting a gloss or a brave face on things. And Belinda typifies this. She is a woman who is obsessed with the idea of not losing face. She has been humiliated once before and she is determined that it will not happen again. I thought it would be more interesting, and hopefully amusing, for the reader to be able to see this right from the start. Belinda tells lies all the time, and she is kidding no one, least of all her audience.
Q: You're an Englishwoman who spends a fair amount of time in Tuscany, right? Is that how you were able to capture the details of the Italian people and the towns in Tuscany so authentically? How much of what you write about comes from your own experience in Italy?
A: My mother has lived in Italy for nearly twenty years, and I spent most of my late teens and early twenties traveling back and forth, so I have experienced first hand quite a lot of what Tuscany has to offer. Hopefully all this stood me in good stead when it came to writing the book, as most of the characters, festivals, and fantastic food mentioned are inspired by the people and places I have come across. Particularly the handsome Gianfranco Bianchi—there is someone rather like him near my mother's place!
Q: Was the character of Belinda inspired by an experience of a less-than-pleasant B-and-B owner? I've been told that Italian B-and-Bs are wonderful. Are there any you can recommend in Tuscany? Any Italian wine recommendations?
A: Fortunately I have never met anyone running a B-and-B as unpleasantly as Belinda. The inspiration for her was the idea of a misanthrope who is forced to work in the service industry. Italian B-and-Bs are indeed wonderful, and I could heartily recommend my mother's (www.stoppiacce.com), which is in the hills outside Cortona. As for wine, Tignanello is delicious, if rather expensive, or you could try a Montepuliciano.
Q: Is Val di Santa Caterina a real town in Italy? If not, is it based on a real town?
A: Thankfully, it is not a real valley, nor is it based on any place.
Q:Tuscany for Beginners is almost a parody of the stereotypes that exist of people from other countries. Belinda is a bit cold, unwilling (or unable) to express her inner feelings and very aware of the image she conveys; Lauren makes a big, brash, very American-like entrance and wants to fight her way to the top. Were you conscious of these common stereotypes as you wrote, or did the characters come to you fully formed, warts and all? Do you t
hink there's anything to the stereotypes of Americans, the Brits, and the Italians?
A: We all conform to certain stereotypes. The English are usually polite and love to form a queue; the Americans tend to not speak terribly quietly; the Italians, more often than not, produce a nice dinner; and the Japanese photograph everything. Obviously there are many exceptions to these rules, but when it comes to writing comedy, stereotypes are essential. Grotesques are usually much more amusing than well-rounded, reasonable people.
Q: Let's project into the future a bit. Is Belinda still running the B-and-B? And has her Italian improved?
A: Belinda's Italian will never improve, as she is convinced that she speaks it fluently already. She will most certainly be running her B-and-B but she will have updated it a bit, having stolen as many ideas as she could from Lauren.
Q: How about Mary and Kyle? Have you thought at all about what happens to these characters in the years to come? What about a sequel?
A: I would love to do a sequel, as I did rather fall in love with the characters when I was writing the book, particularly Belinda, whose company I enjoyed hugely. As for Kyle and Mary, I am not sure. Kyle is Mary's first true love, but I have a feeling that Kyle is a little more worldly. I would love to write a sequel if only to see exactly what happened to the two of them.
Q: There's a great comic flair throughout Tuscany for Beginners —many tongue-in-cheek, laugh-out-loud moments. Have you always written comic novels? Are there any comic novelists that you admire or were influenced by? Who are your favorite authors?
A: You are very kind! Tuscany for Beginners is my fourth book in a line of, hopefully, comic novels. I have always favored comedy over any other genre, as I like to be entertained when I read. I loved Jay McInerney's Story of My Life when I read it a long while back, I think it is hilarious. But the greatest influence for this novel was E. F. Benson's Mapp and Lucia books. They are little works of genius not too dissimilar to Evelyn Waugh's. I have even set the initial opening scene in Tilling, which is the small town Benson writes about.
Q: What are you working on now?
A: I am working on a nonfiction book at the moment that, as an ex-journalist, I tend to do from time to time. But I have another novel up my sleeve that I am planning to start toward the middle of this year. I also have a baby to deliver at the end of May!
READING GROUP QUESTIONS AND TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION
1. The opening scene of the novel paints a very sympathetic picture of Belinda—a woman who sets out on an adventure in Tuscany after she has been humiliated by her cheating husband and so-called friend. Do you understand this scene differently after getting to know Belinda a little better?
2. After reading the novel, what do you think of the title Tuscany for Beginners ? What advice would you give a friend looking to stay at a bed-and-breakfast in Tuscany?
3. Inspired by Frances Mayes's Under the Tuscan Sun, Belinda flees England in order to pursue her dream of opening a bed-and-breakfast in Tuscany. She insists upon creating the ideal Italian retreat for herself and her guests. How well do you think she achieves this? What are some of the ways she creates this experience for them? How is her experience of Italy more about being English in Italy than about how Italians live? In what ways is Belinda more English than she might want to admit?
4. Even when her business was not doing well, Belinda still insisted on turning away guests that were not up to her high stan-dards. What do you think about her method of guest selection? Why do you think she was so discriminating?
5. Upon first appraisal, many things are not what they appear to be in this novel. Explore how your initial impression of Belinda, Mary, Lauren, and Kyle evolved as the novel unfolded. How do you think each of the characters would describe themselves and one another? Do these descriptions differ from how you would characterize them?
6. Explore the relationship between Belinda and Mary and between Kyle and Lauren. In what ways are they different, and in what ways are they alike? Why do you think Mary and Kyle fell in love so easily? Were you surprised that Lauren and Belinda were not aware of the love affair occurring right under their noses?
7. There is no shortage of food in the novel, and it reveals a lot about the characters. What do Belinda's recipes reveal about her cooking skills and knowledge of Italian cuisine?
8. On the surface, Belinda and Lauren are almost polar opposites, but they also have much in common. Explore the ways in which the two women are similar. Why do you think they felt so much hostility toward each other? Do you feel that one is more to blame? Why or why not?
9. How is Belinda's life in the Tuscan countryside portrayed before Lauren's arrival? How does this event change the way in which you think of Belinda?
10. What do you think of Belinda's nickname, “the Contessa”? Is it well deserved?
11. What do you think of Belinda's diary entries, her aperçus ? As the story progresses, how do they add to your understanding of her character? Compare Belinda's portrait of her life with the way she is described by the narrator.
12. Belinda and her friends in the valley have a lot of stereotypes about Americans. What are some of these? How does Lauren compare to these stereotypes? What are some of the stereotypes about the Italians, the Australians, and any other nationality that come to Belinda's valley?
13. Next time you're in Tuscany, where are you going to stay?
IMOGEN EDWARDS-JONES is an award winning journalist, columnist, and broadcaster who writes for many national newspapers and magazines. She is the author of three previous novels, the highly acclaimed My Canapé Hell, Shagpile, and The Wendy House. She co-edited the War Child anthology, Big Night Out, and lives in London.
ABOUT THE TYPE
This book was set in Bembo, a typeface based on an oldstyle Roman face that was used for Cardinal Bembo's tract De Aetna in 1495. Bembo was cut by Francisco Griffo in the early sixteenth century. The Lanston Monotype Company of Philadelphia brought the well-proportioned letterforms of Bembo to the United States in the 1930s.
Tuscany for Beginners is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and
incidents are the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.
Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead,
is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2004 by Imogen Edwards-Jones
Reading group guide copyright © 2005 by Random House, Inc.
All rights reserved.
House Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
Ballantine and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Originally published in Great Britain by Hodder and Stoughton, a division of
Hodder Headline, London, in 2004.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data can be obtained from the
publisher upon request.
eISBN 978-0-307-49219-7
Ballantine Books website address: www.ballantinebooks.com
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v3.0
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Italy—Tuscany
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
A Conversation with Imogen Edwards-Jones
Reading Group Questions and Topics For Discussion
About the Type
Copyright
riends
Tuscany for Beginners Page 27