by Nia Arthurs
My friends laughed and I wiped the sweat from my brow. Awkwardness averted. Now, I’d have to make my way through the rest of the evening with my pride and my manners intact. Which was easier said than done. By the time, the night wound down and people started packing up, I was crying tears of joy on the inside. As the women cleared the table and helped Melody to wash the dishes, the men cleared down the grill. I was shuffling back and forth between the deck and the kitchen when Nicole cornered me.
“Hey, Susan, could I talk to you for a second.” I glanced around, noting that there were no witnesses in the event that I was murdered tonight.
“S-sure,” I stuttered.
We rounded the other side of the house where Melody and Spencer kept their gardening supplies and I stood in the waning darkness waiting for her to speak or stab me. It was 50/50.
“I just wanted to thank you, for going along with Archie’s idea.”
“What do you mean?” I said, uncertainly.
“He told me everything,” she replied in a soft voice, “How you two pretended to date for a while but you were too…” She searched for the word, “damaged. That much emotional baggage would be too much for any man, even one as sweet as Archie.”
I folded my arms. “What exactly are you trying to say, Nicole.”
Her barb had found its mark but I would rather be caught in Mrs. Peters’ class in my underwear than let her see that she’d gotten to me.
“I simply wanted to thank you for your role in all of this. Archie and I are together now and stronger than ever.”
“Well, whoopee.” I said sarcastically, “I’m happy for you. Maybe you’ll send me an invite to the wedding, hm?”
Her smile was condescending as she walked away from me and returned into the house. I felt the first drop of rain then but I couldn’t move. I was finally alone and allowed myself to feel as hollow as I wanted to. I was embarrassed and mad and sad all at the same time. Whatever other feelings I was beginning to develop for Archie, I always understood that we were friends. I shared parts of myself with him that I didn’t share with anyone, even Melody. The fact that he looked into my soul and called it damaged was like a wrench to the spine. It was my fault. I allowed a man past my defenses, even after Brian. How could I be so stupid?
“Susan?” I heard his voice and stiffened. I squeezed myself further into the shadows praying that he’d go away. He searched the darkness and, not finding me turned to walk away. At that moment, a little lizard hopped on to one of the boxes near my feet and I whimpered. The sound alerted Archie to my presence and he whirled back around, his eyes doing a more careful sweep of the area this time. His eyes locked on to mine and he stepped forward, stooping down to where I hid.
“Why are you hiding out here?” he asked as the rain drops fell gently overhead.
I stood, brushing the dirt from my pants and wiping my hands together, “That is none of your concern.”
Archie sighed and ran a hand through his thick head of hair, “Actually, it is. I need to explain. About Nicole-”
“No, you don’t need to explain. That’s why we did this whole ruse in the first place right? You were always supposed to be with her. That was the plan.”
“But Susan, I didn’t invite her here. I’d never treat you like that. Nicole said that Melody mentioned the dinner and told her to stop by. She came by my house and asked if she could have a ride. I said yes and while we were in the car she told me she wanted to get back together. I had no idea that she’d say that. Look, I would never treat you so poorly. You have to believe me.”
“Of course I believe you. I’m damaged and with all my emotional baggage, I’m just bursting at the seams to fall for whatever lies come out of your mouth.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play dumb, you mean-spirited, two-faced, know-it-all! Go be with your girlfriend. You two deserve each other.”
I moved to stalk past him in a huff of righteous indignation, but Archie grabbed my arm and pulled me close.
“I said no.”
“What?” I spit out. I was very close to tearing his eyes out if he did not let me go in the next three seconds. I shook away his touch and lucky for him and his eyes, he let me go. “What do you mean ‘you said no’?”
Archie advanced and something in his eyes made me take a step back. “I said no… when Nicole told me she wanted to get back together. I told her I didn’t feel the same way anymore.”
He stepped forward again, and I took another one back. “But,” I stammered, “But I saw you holding hands. She sat beside you all of tonight.”
“She grabbed my hand.” He explained, “And I sat beside her the way I’d sit beside Mia or Melody. Friends. Just friends.”
He took one more step toward me and when I retreated, I found that my back was against the wall of the house. There was nowhere else for me to run. In the shadow of the night, my heart thudded, ricocheting with such force my teeth shook. My palms grew sweaty and I raised them, uselessly attempting to keep some space between me and Archie. He stepped into my bubble and my hands braced his chest. His silver eyes bore into my hazel ones with such force I could not look away even if I’d wanted to.
“Why…” I swallowed the spit lodging in my throat before continuing, “Why are you telling me all of this.”
He shrugged, “I kind of liked fake-dating you, Susan.”
I inhaled sharply and the scent of wet earth and new beginnings invaded my senses.
I blame the night. It was definitely the spell of the night and the darkness that surrounded us, that shaded us from the rest of the world. It was the cicadas and the toads bursting forth in merry songs, overwhelming me with the sensation of being alive. It was the wind, blowing a curl into my face and prompting Archie to gently draw it back behind my ear again. It was the coconut trees hypnotizing me in their gentle dance, the leaves of their hair waving passionately, a movement brought to a heightened climax when the thudding in my chest matched their frantic pace. I blame the night for rising to my toes. I blame the darkness for wrapping my arms around Archie’s neck. I blame the cicadas for me leaning in so close to his face, our breaths intermingled and became one. I blame the wind for the way my eye lids shuttered closed.
But the kiss. The kiss was all me.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I had my first kiss at a summer camp when I was fifteen. Joey Spuckermeyer and I got paired during a rousing game of spin-the-bottle. I told him to just get it over with and so he did. It was the farthest thing from romantic and I didn’t necessarily get chills. It was a stupid game and a pretty stupid way to have a first kiss in my humble opinion. The moment that Archie’s lips first came into contact with mine, I thought of Joey Spuckermeyer and how maybe I should have waited out my first kiss with him if I had known that the touch was supposed to feel like this. And then in the next moment, all thoughts of Joey Spuckermeyer fled.
The rain, which had fallen like a gentle shower just a minute before burst into a torrent of jagged tears that invaded my hair, ran down my closed eyes and nose and chin and jaw. It served to punctuate the explosion of senses and feelings that stirred within me. I melted beneath Archie’s pursuit as though my insides had crystallized into sugar instead of organs, vessels, and sinews of flesh. I stood helplessly in the lashing storm; reason overpowered by the blood rushing in my ears and allowed this man to capture my mouth. His beard rasped against my cheeks, my chin, my jaw as he placed tiny kisses there, following each rain drop like a map that spelled treasure. And then, as if only just realizing the rain, he angled his body thoroughly in front of mine like a shield, better positioning me into the side of the house. With that tender action, his kiss became reverent and slow. It drove me mad, the way his pace lengthened. I was exposed and vulnerable. I preferred the heat and the noise and passion of the earlier kiss. And when I grew impatient and tried to rekindle the fast movement of our initial caress, he grunted, captured my wandering hands and continued to kiss me as though I we
re delicate and valued and… cherished.
I forgot to breathe for a second and when he pulled back, I was surprised that my legs were still firmly on the ground. When I could intake enough oxygen to speak, I whispered,
“Did we just-”
“Yeah,” he nodded as the rain pounded at his back like an insolent child. I touched my lips and felt the skin around my mouth and my cheeks burning.
“Okay,” I said awkwardly.
“Okay,” he repeated.
I stepped away from him and this time, he did not follow me. “Why?”
He raked a hand through his hair and blew out a breath, “Because.”
“Because what?”
“Because we wanted to.”
I shook my head and curled my hands protectively around my chest, “I can’t. Not right now.”
“I know.” He looked away and his silver eyes flashed, “I know.”
“And Nicole…”
“I know.” He rubbed his forehead.
“We just can’t.”
“Yeah… But it was good.”
I chuckled awkwardly, “It was. It was…wow,”
“We can be friends.” Archie said unconvincingly.
“Just friends,” I hit him lightly in the arm, “pal, amigo, buddy.”
We stood awkwardly together just looking at each other and then we walked uncomfortably around the house to enter in from the back. Thankfully, only Melody was in the kitchen. She closed the refrigerator door and spotted us.
“There you are! We were wondering where you two went off to. Nicole was calling your cell, Archie but we found it on the deck.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll go get it.” He said and then went off in the direction of the living room.
“Hey, you’re both soaked!” She noticed for the first time, “Let me get you a towel, Archie.”
“I’m good,” I told her.
Melody quickly fetched a kitchen towel and threw it at him, “Thanks,” he nodded at her, carefully avoiding my eyes. As soon as he left, Mel turned to me.
“Is he a good kisser?”
My eyes widened, “What?” I breathed.
She rolled her eyes, “Girl, please. You think I don’t know you? Plus,” she grinned wickedly, “Your cheeks and chin and right there,” she pointed above my upper lip, “they’re all pink. I think he gave you a rash.”
I ran to the drawer to take out a spoon and groaned at my bloated reflection. Indeed, my normally caramel skin looked reddish and agitated around the lips.
“That must have been intense,” Melody teased.
I groaned, and then admitted, “It was incredible.”
She smiled, “Come on upstairs. I have some clothes you can borrow after you dry off.” She led me to her bedroom and I flopped myself unto the bed as she selected an outfit for me.
“We’ve decided to just be friends.” I informed her.
Melody pivoted and stared me down like I was crazy. “Why?”
I shrugged and gazing at her white ceiling with the darling dark mahogany ceiling fan, “Because of Brian, because of me. I just got out of a broken engagement and a humiliating viral video thing and…”
“Wait, back up. What video?”
I gestured toward her laptop and she nodded her permission. I logged on to Youtube and typed in the title of my video. Melody sat beside me and laughed uncontrollably at Brian’s face when the yucky vomit made contact with his head.
“Oh, that’s bad.” She quipped.
“Exactly. I’m just not ready to trust anyone with my heart again.”
“You were ready five seconds ago,” she pointed out.
“That was a momentary lapse in judgment.”
“If you say so.” Melody said, obviously not convinced. “Now, go get changed and come back in here. I have some foundation that could probably hide that irritation.”
I nodded and grabbed a towel and one of Melody’s ever present summer dresses and went to dry off. When I emerged, she handed me the foundation and after dabbing it, I noticed that my skin looked as tan as usual. Thank God.
“You ready to go back down?” Melody asked me.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
We ventured down the stairs and Melody led me into the hall.
“There she is!” Mia greeted me, “We thought you went home without telling us goodbye.”
“She was upstairs with me. I had a few questions about some personal stuff.” Melody quipped.
“Were you wearing that earlier?” Nicole asked. The pretty brunette lounged on the sofa beside Archie who looked distinctly uncomfortable.
“I got my other blouse ugh… wet … so Melody leant me this.”
Nicole narrowed her eyes at me, but said nothing else.
“Well, now that everyone’s here. Let’s play.” Peyton enthused.
“What are we playing guys?” Melody asked.
“Uno.” Spencer grinned.
“Babe,” Melody glanced at him, “You know you can’t handle losing to me.”
Spencer shook his head. “I won’t this time.”
We all twittered as Melody bent to sit on the rug on the floor. The gang and Nicole (I wasn’t ready to accept her into the fold) formed a circle on the ground and Archie shared out the cards. Melody sat to my left and unfortunately, the lawyer sat to my right. I tried to ignore the fact that he smelled like the rain… which brought to mind the kiss that we’d shared. I winced and focused on the game. My hand was a good one. I had a Draw 2 and a Draw 4 card. I dealt Archie the Draw 2 immediately.
That’s for kissing me! I thought.
“Sorry, that’s the only card I could play,” I said instead.
Archie narrowed his eyes at me and Nicole played her set. Peyton played a skip and his wife lost a turn.
“Thanks a lot, honey.” Mia groused.
“I’m sorry, babe. Spousal privilege does not exist in Uno.”
“Pregnant privilege does though.” Melody reminded Spencer when it was his turn.
Melody ended up winning that game and the next. No matter who we put beside her, no one wanted to Draw4, Draw 2, or skip the pregnant lady.
“You guys are suckers!” Melody accused when she won for the fifth time.
Peyton checked his watch, “Oh look at the time. I think we better get home, Mia.”
“I agree,” Mia stood to her feet, “before I smack a pregnant lady.”
“Ouch, testy are we?” Melody poked her friend in the knee.
Mia laughed, “I’ll say goodnight, guys.”
We all stood and waved at the two. Mia turned to me, “Susan, do you need a ride.”
“Sure,” I said. “I’m going with Mia guys!” I yelled.
The chorus of goodnights was no less enthusiastic and I followed Mia and Peyton to their vehicle.
As soon as Peyton started up the car, Mia turned to speak to me in the backseat, “Whoa that was awkward for me. I can’t even imagine how awkward that was for you.”
“You’re talking about Archie and Nicole?” I clarified.
She nodded, “You handled everything like a champ though.”
“I don’t think being petty about who’s with who is good for anyone right now.”
Mia laughed, “You are so much better than me. I would have thrown a fit and banned Nicole from any other group functions. I probably would have banned Archie too.”
“But that’s not fair to him, or Mel, or you.”
“Face it, Mia, Susan is nicer than you.” Peyton teased.
“I’ll give her that.” Mia nodded.
Peyton flashed me a smile in the rearview mirror, “Do you know how hard it was for her to admit that she loved me? I felt like I had to wait years until she finally said out loud that she loved me back.”
“Don’t exaggerate. And I told you that I loved you first. Remember when I called you to pick me up after my fight with Charles.”
“You were half-asleep,” he argued, “it didn’t count.”
“You dated someone w
hile you were friends with Peyton?” I asked.
“Yes,” Mia explained, “Charles was a delicious dark-chocolate man and I wanted him to be my Prince so badly.”
“Until her white guy came riding in on a white horse,” Peyton boasted.
I laughed, “How did you know that Peyton was the man you were supposed to marry?” I wondered.
She took my question seriously and thought before she spoke, “I guess it was the way he cared for me. He protected me even when I thought I didn’t need protecting. He listened to me even when I didn’t know that I needed to speak. He supported me so quietly I hadn’t realized just how much until I didn’t have it anymore.”
“It sounds like he was perfect.” I sighed.
“Oh, he wasn’t perfect,” Mia was quick to correct me.
“Hey,” Peyton protested, “I was close to perfect.”
“Uh, not at all. He got into a fistfight with Charles and nearly got himself killed.”
I gasped, “Peyton, no offense, but you can’t fight a black guy and not expect to die.”
Peyton shrugged, “I wasn’t thinking like that at the time. All I knew was that he’d disrespected my girl and I wouldn’t stand for it.”
“Aww,” I melted, “You guys are so cute.”
“It wasn’t cute when you had a black eye for days.” Mia grunted.
“She loves me, Susan.” Peyton grinned.
“I know she does.” I agreed.
Peyton pulled up to my apartment complex and I got out.
“Thanks for the ride you guys.”
“No problem,” Mia waved. I walked toward my apartment stairs and turned back. Peyton’s car was still parked in the lot. I craned to see if they were okay and spied the couple making out right there in the front seat. I shook my head at their craziness and continued my trek up the stairs. Maybe one day, that would be me and my husband too.
I met Ashanti at the bus stop the next morning. It was Friday, our weekly stuffed Jack day. Ashanti still hadn’t gotten around to sharing the recipe with me. I would love to try my hand at the tasty breakfast.