by Jamie Pope
Her head snapped up at that. “Is your father going to be there?”
“I don’t know.”
“I know he’s been in that group for some time. Have you spoken to him?”
“I haven’t spoken to him in years.”
“He’ll probably be there. Do you think he’ll bring his wife? She has to know who you are. All of Miami does.”
“The organization is huge. Victor isn’t even at the head of it. They have a lot of events. I’m not even sure he knows I’m being honored.”
“Your father knows everything that goes on in Miami.” She took an agitated bite of her dinner. “Do you need a date? I would be happy to go with you.” Just so she could see him. She didn’t give a damn about what Derek did to get honored. She was so hung up on Victor, on the man who didn’t love her enough, on the man who told her over and over that she would never be good enough. How could she still be in love with him?
“I don’t think I’m going to go.”
“Oh?” She seemed disappointed, but not for the same reasons that Ava was disappointed. “Why aren’t you eating? Is there something wrong with the food?”
He looked down at his plate of salmon and some sort of zucchini side dish. “No. I’ve been feeling under the weather for the past few days.”
“Maybe salmon isn’t the best thing for you.”
“No.” He stood up. “I think I’m going to head home. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”
She stood up, too, and lightly kissed his cheek. “See you around, honey.”
“Yeah.” Probably the next time she needed something.
Chapter 12
There was a storm coming. Not a huge one, but one big enough to set Ava on edge. The island felt a little different. The air was thicker, the trees swayed a little harder and there was that ominous roll of thunder in the distance. She should be used to thunderstorms by now. She had lived in Florida for many years, but as many storms as she had been through, she never felt at ease during one. It was something she should have grown out of, but she never did.
She went to her living room to look up at the quickly darkening sky and she saw Derek’s truck pull into the driveway. She hadn’t seen him in days. Three to be exact. She had yelled at him the last time they were together. She was embarrassed about it. She never allowed herself to yell. She was always yelling at him, or arguing with him, but that day she got really upset with him, too upset with him for something that shouldn’t matter so much to her. She realized that she cared about him and it was more than just surface concern. It went so much deeper. She wanted more for him than he wanted for himself, and she wasn’t sure how that had happened, or why it was happening so fast.
It scared her, and she wanted to stay away from him. For real this time, but being away from him didn’t mean that she didn’t think about him. She had seen his grandmother. Gone shopping with his aunts, even gone back to the senior center to have tea with some women there and he had come up in every conversation. No one asked about them, which she always thought was coming; they just talked about the good things Derek was doing for the community that didn’t seem like such a big deal to him at all.
He looked up at her, and their eyes connected. Without her saying a word or making a motion he started to walk toward her house. She had wanted him to come over. She had gotten used to sharing her meals with him, and when he wasn’t there, eating seemed like a lonely thing.
She opened the door as another rumble of thunder rolled through the air. She stiffened slightly, knowing the storm was going to be a big one.
“You’re wearing real shoes,” he said by way of greeting.
“And a dress with a zipper.” She turned around to show him. “I’ve even put on makeup. I do believe I’m making progress. By the end of the month, I will have morphed back into a lady.”
“You don’t need any of those things to be a lady. You’re naturally one.”
“Don’t be sweet to me. I thought we talked about that.” A purple streak of lightning raced through the sky and sent the hairs on the back of her neck standing. “Come inside.” She grabbed his hand.
“The storm is making you nervous.”
She nodded, admitting to him what she had never admitted to anyone. Elias knew, but for everyone else she pretended to be unbothered.
“It won’t be so bad. Hurricane season probably won’t be the best time to be here.”
“I’ll probably be gone by then,” she said, feeling a little twinge. She knew she couldn’t stay here forever. She had a life to get on with. A life without Derek, without this island.
“Yeah,” he said slowly. “It might be for the best.”
She still had his hand. His warm, calloused fingers felt comforting to her for some reason.
“I have ingredients. Tonight, I will cook for us.” She gave him a small smile, feeling awkward with him.
“Cook. You know how to do that? I was sure you snapped your fingers and some servant did that for you.”
“Only when I was with Max. I have cooked before.”
“You’re not going to make anything with kale, are you? Because that is my worst nightmare.”
“Nope, no kale. How do you feel about a brussels sprout, beet and broccoli salad? I can whip that up in a few minutes.”
He just stared at her. She tried to suppress a grin, but she couldn’t help it.
“Gotcha.” She pulled him into the kitchen and sat him down at the small table while she looked in the refrigerator. “I’ve got chicken breast and a pork tenderloin and salmon.” She stood there and looked at him. “No salmon tonight. You don’t like it. I could make pasta. Creamy, garlicky pasta with chicken. I can add spinach to it. Do you like spinach?”
Without getting up from his chair, Derek grabbed her arm and tugged her into his lap. And then he kissed her. It was hard to describe the reaction her body had whenever Derek’s lips touched hers. Usually she felt like her skin was on fire and the only way to cool off was to take off all her clothes and press her body to his, but this time she felt more in his kiss. It was deeper and sweeter and in that kiss she could feel...him. His feelings. She could sense that something was up when she opened the door, but she knew for sure right then.
“Okay.” She moved herself from his lap. “Pasta it is.”
“How did you know I didn’t like salmon?”
“You told me. You said it was the only fish you didn’t like.”
“You remembered?”
“Yes, Derek.” She nodded. “I value you for more than just your sexy body. I listen when you talk.”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her close, resting his head against her stomach as he wrapped his arms around her hips. “Come with me to the gala.”
“You’re going?” She stroked his head.
“Yes.”
“Because I yelled at you or because I remembered you don’t like salmon?”
“Both. No one yells at me. I like it.”
“What about the salmon thing?”
“My mother doesn’t remember that I hate it. That she made it for me and I got so violently ill that I had to go to the hospital.”
“You just came from your mother’s house. That’s why you’re in a funky mood. I thought I felt it when I saw you, but now I know.”
“You know me.” He looked up at her. “Better than she does, and that should be impossible, but it isn’t.”
“I don’t know if I know you better than anyone else. I just want you to be happy, Derek. Everyone in this town wants that for you.”
“What I have with you is different from what I have with everyone else, and you know it.”
“That’s because I let you stick your hand up my dress.”
He gave her a quick grin. “Are you going to come with me to the gala?
”
“You sure you want me there? What about your grandmother or your cousin? I met your aunts. They are really lovely.”
“I need you there,” he said as he looked into her eyes. “Just you. I won’t be able to get through the night without you.”
She should say no. She shouldn’t even allow the closeness they were sharing at the moment, but she couldn’t deny him. She wanted to be with him that night. She wanted him to be happy, and a big part of her wanted to be the one to make him happy. “We have to get you a tux. I’ll need a dress to wear. I’m doubting any of my other gowns will fit me. We’ll have to leave for Miami a little earlier.”
“And stay a little later.” He slipped his hand beneath her hem and stroked the back of her thigh. She knew what his silent message was. Miami was where they would make love. They had danced around the issue long enough. He wanted her as much as she wanted him, and after the gala she would give him her body.
* * *
Ava had definitely been uneasy on the ferry ride back to Miami. Derek had a hard time taking his eyes off her during the ride. She had nearly changed back to the woman he had met. Her makeup was done to perfection. Her dress was fitted and structured. She wore stiletto heels, but she hadn’t tamed her hair. No straightener had touched it. She left it in those loose, flowing waves that he liked so much. She was a little more rigid than he was used to, than he liked, but when she looked at him there was softness in her eyes and she leaned against him slightly as they sat. He had no idea what was going on in her mind, but he was very aware that this was the first time she had been back here since she had left to get married. This was her town, with her fancy friends. This was where she rubbed shoulders with the wealthy and was a part of the fashion scene. Two things Derek knew nothing about.
He wondered if he was good enough to be seen with her. Yes, he was the mayor of a town. Yes, he was educated and a successful business owner. But he was a working-class guy. Maybe not on paper, but he felt like he was. He would never be comfortable in a suit. Never feel at home sitting behind a desk, or driving a car that was worth more than some families made in five years. And that’s what Ava had been used to. Hideaway Island was a break from that all, but now that she was back here she would see that he was just a small-town guy and her life would never be a fit for him.
“This trip is always so beautiful to me. I’ve made it countless times, but it never stops being lovely.”
“I know what you mean.”
“I always feel the same way each time I make it. So excited and full of joy to be going to Hideaway Island and so sad and filled with anxiety to leave it.”
Derek just looked at her, unsure how to respond to that. It wasn’t what he had expected to hear.
“You look nice today.” She touched his collar and then smoothed her hand over his shoulder.
“It’s just non-paint-smeared jeans and a rarely worn polo. Nanny might say I look less like a homeless person.”
“I like you in paint-smeared clothes, too.” She gave him a shy smile as she fiddled with his collar again. “In the fashion world we would call this color ondine blue. It was the color of the summer a few years back.”
“That’s probably when I got this shirt.”
“It does things to your eyes. Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?”
“What’s the matter, baby?” He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him. She only got this sweet when something was up. “I can’t take all these compliments. You know your salty mouth keeps my blood pumping.”
She let out a little laugh. “I’m nervous.”
“About me?”
“Why would I be nervous about you, dummy? I’m just not sure I’m ready to be back here. It feels like vacation is over.”
“The good news is that you get to go back to Hideaway Island. In fact, if you want to, we can turn right back around as soon as we dock.”
“No! This night is important for you. We’re going. It’s just that—that... I thought I would have my life all figured out when I came back.”
“Who said you had to have your life all figured out? Why can’t you just take all the time you need?”
“I don’t have a job, Derek. I feel useless. I feel like I should be doing more. I spent the last few years of my life being some man’s accessory.”
“And you feel like tonight you’re going to be mine?”
Her head snapped up. “No. I never feel that way with you. Should I? You’ve seen me at my worst. You don’t give a damn if I’m beautiful, but I’m not sure what it is you like about me.”
There were so many reasons that he liked her, the first was that she let him see a side of her that no one else got to see. There were few people in his life that he could just talk to, and she was one of them. “I saw you destroy your wedding dress with your bare hands. I’m afraid of what will happen to me if I don’t like you.”
She grinned at him and rested her head on his shoulder. As they got closer to land, a little uneasiness crept up inside him. He knew that this weekend would forever change things between them and he might not come back to Hideaway Island the same man as he left.
* * *
To say that the hotel Derek had booked for them was posh was an understatement. They were directly on the water with views of the Atlantic and Biscayne Bay. As soon as they walked through the doors, Ava felt like she had been transported back to when she was with Max and they only stayed in the finest places and dined on the fanciest food. She didn’t expect it from Derek, though. She actually didn’t know what to expect from him on this trip. The people here were so different from the ones on Hideaway Island. She had been gone for two months after spending nearly ten years in this glitzy city and yet this place felt foreign to her. No middle-class people stayed in a hotel like this. Jet-setters and high rollers and people with black cards stayed here. Last year she wouldn’t have thought much about staying in a place like this, but today she looked around at high-end fixtures and wondered if any of it was worth the cost.
“What made you decide to pick this hotel, Derek?” she asked him as they entered the glass elevators.
“It’s next door to the hotel where they are having the event. The other hotel was full. Some sort of convention is there.”
“Oh. That makes sense.” She didn’t notice which floor Derek had pushed when they had walked in, but they bypassed all the lower floors in the huge hotel and the farther they went up, the more of the beautiful Miami skyline she could see.
The elevator finally came to a stop, and they walked out onto a floor with only two rooms. Ava wasn’t sure why she was having trouble breathing, but she was. He opened the door to their suite, and she was greeted by a wall of glass. Unobstructed views of the ocean filled her eyes and for a moment she was at a loss for words. It wasn’t just a room. There was a full living room and dining room and a long hallway that led to presumably more. On the walls there was expensive art, not the generic paintings you found at most hotels but one-of-a-kind pieces that probably cost more than her car.
“Is it okay?” he asked from behind her.
She turned around to face him. “What kind of question is that? There had to be other rooms. Why did you book this one?”
“I wanted a two-bedroom suite. This is what they had.”
“We could have gotten a two-bedroom suite at a chain hotel a few blocks from here!”
“I asked you to come here with me. I wanted to take you someplace beautiful, someplace you would be comfortable staying.”
“This is too much. You must really not think much of me.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t need any of this. I’m not the princess everyone thinks I am. I thought you knew me better. I could spend the night with you in a one-room shack and be happy.”
“Of course we
don’t need any of this. No one does. But you told me to do something selfish, something just for me, and this is it. Tonight I want to give you the best for no other reason than because I can. I’ve worked hard my entire life. I have saved every penny I’ve ever earned. I’ve given back to my community at every opportunity. I don’t do anything for myself. But being with you is the thing I do just for me. I don’t care what anyone thinks or says about it. I don’t care if it’s not smart or if it can’t work or if it’s not going to last. I have been reasonable my entire life, but I can’t be reasonable when it comes to you. I don’t want to be reasonable when it comes to you.”
All the air left Ava in that moment. If her feet weren’t firmly planted on the ground, she thought she might have floated away. No one ever spoke to her like Derek did. No one had ever looked at her the way he did, or touched her, or kissed her like every time was going to be the last time.
She had been nervous coming back to Miami, nervous that she would get a glimpse of her old life and start to miss it, but she had been more nervous about being here alone with Derek. She knew she was going to fall in love with him. It was just a matter of time now. She could already feel the stirrings of it deep in her chest. She knew that she needed to prevent it from happening. To remove herself from him. To break all contact. But she didn’t want to.
It could never last. Hideaway Island was a vacation for her. But she was going to let herself feel whatever she was feeling. She hadn’t done that with Max. She fooled herself into thinking she was in love. She forced it because she thought marrying him was the safe choice. She thought she would always be taken care of with him and because of that she ignored every uncertainty and emotion that she had had.
She refused to do that anymore.
“Are you crying?” He took a step forward, his arms outstretched, but she stepped back. She knew if she let him touch her, she wouldn’t be able to let him go.
“Shut up. No.” She swiped the tears off her face. “We don’t have time for me to strip you naked and climb on top of you. We’ve got to go shopping.”