by Deanna Chase
“I won’t, brother,” Torek murmured.
His voice remained low, holding a more complex emotion. Some of that might have been affection. His warmth grew as Revik remained there, mixing with the heat that lingered on the surface. Revik felt possessiveness there, too, sudden and sharp, a darting stab that worsened his own pain in those few seconds he felt it.
“…I won’t let him touch you, all right?” Torek murmured, clutching his hair tighter. “I promise. I won’t let that worm near you.”
Relaxing his shoulders, Revik nodded.
He didn’t speak.
Even so, he couldn’t control the relief that expanded off his light.
16
WINNERS AND LOSERS
Should we intervene? Balidor says, turning.
He terminates the Barrier recording as he asks it, looking away from the projection on the Barrier wall to the seer with whom he has shared it.
…How long do we let this go on? he asks, prodding the other seer’s light for an answer. How long? Before we involve ourselves?
He focuses on the seer sitting there, cross-legged on the floor of a nondescript Barrier space, a mere meeting place between several states of consciousness. Balidor looks down at the old seer, conscious suddenly of what he’s just shown him.
His discomfort worsens as he thinks over specifics of the content, especially when he considers that Vash treats Dehgoies almost like a son.
It is too late to second-guess that now, though.
And anyway, he could not have kept this from him.
…He could literally starve himself to death, Balidor adds. He makes his thoughts stripped that time, wholly businesslike. Or he could allow this seer, Torek, to abuse him to the point of causing him psychological damage. He might think it is a part of his job, in protecting the Bridge…to tell this seer nothing. To keep all information to himself about his personal life…including that which does not directly put her at risk.
For a stretch of time that feels long, Vash is silent.
Balidor watches him, but he can see nothing behind the elder seer’s cloak.
Eventually, Vash looks up, his dark eyes holding an inner light.
Would it help to have this seer convey to him our role in this? Vash queries, his voice as distant as his light. To come clean that an intelligence leak is not a risk in this case…?
Balidor turns over the words.
Then, clicking under his breath, he shakes his head.
I think that would backfire horribly, father Vashentarenbuul, he sends back.
You think he would be angry? Vash sends, pressing the point with his light and words. If he knew we had paid brother Torek for this? If he knew we had done this to try and reach him? Would this anger brother Dehgoies, do you think…?
For a moment, Balidor can only blink at him.
Darting glimpses of color bring a faint rosy hue to the dim Barrier space.
He thinks about choosing his words with care, to be gentle.
Then he decides this is not the time for that, either.
Angry? Balidor sends out a pulse of disbelief, along with a harder pulse of light. The latter causes Vash to look at him, even across the space that stretches between them. Brother, I think he would want to kill all of us, if he knew that we had a part in this…me, especially. And you. Any of us that he trusts. Any of us that he has thought of as a friend.
Vash does not change expression.
After a pause, he merely nods. His body does not move from where he sits cross-legged on the floor.
Do you still think this was a risk worth taking? Vash sends, quieter.
For the first time, Balidor hears a rebuke in the aged seer’s thoughts.
It is mild, and contains more guilt than blame.
Thinking about the question brings the Adhipan leader’s resolve back. It also clears his mind of the more conflicted emotions that had dwelled there.
I do, Balidor sends after a pause. He lets the other feel his own worries, even as he sends him a grimmer pulse of light, one that contains some portion of that resolve. I will not deny that I have feelings about this, brother…or fears that we could lose him in other respects…but I cannot say I would choose differently. We need him. Now, more than ever. We cannot afford to coddle him, any more than we can afford to coddle the Bridge…
Clicking softly, Balidor turned over his own thoughts yet again.
Once he had, he hammered his next words through the Barrier space,
…He has got to come clean on this. You know he does, brother Vash. If he does not, we will have to pull him. We cannot leave him on duty with the Bridge, not the way he is now. You know we cannot. This is no longer simply about a crush. Or even a fixation of some kind. He must address this. Now. Or he is not fit to be her guardian…
Vash sits on the floor of the featureless space, listening.
He remains unmoving for a few seconds more after Balidor has finished.
Balidor wonders if the old seer has gone to some other area of the Barrier. Perhaps to consult with other seers of the Council…perhaps to consult with Tarsi herself, who trained Balidor all of those years ago, when she had been the one to lead the Adhipan.
In any case, Balidor waits until the old seer focuses back on him.
I agree, Vash says finally.
His thoughts whisper out quiet that time, holding a regret Balidor can feel.
Wait until the last minute before pulling him, Vash adds. He can be…stubborn.
Balidor doesn’t answer. Even so, he finds himself agreeing.
“Get your fucking hands off him. Now…”
The voice startled Revik, pulled him out a blank quiet that had fallen over his mind, despite the noise that surrounded him. It grew loud, almost painfully so when his light snapped back. He found himself on the floor, which he barely paused on for more than a few seconds.
He remembered he was drunk, that he wasn’t alone…
Not drunk. Torek gave him something.
Iluvren, his mind whispered. He dosed you. Like Jaden dosed Allie…
The thought crushes something in his chest. It brings images, memories…a rush of pain so intense he can’t see through it, can’t breathe…
“I said…get your fucking hands off him!”
A gun was in the hand of the man standing over him.
Revik stared up warily, fighting his own mind.
The gun wasn’t pointed at him.
“Step away from him. Now. That wasn’t a request.” The seer holding the gun flipped off the safety, pointing the gun directly at another seer’s face. “Do it. Or I’ll have you taken out into the alley. If you make it out alive, you won’t ever be welcome here again…”
Fingers tightened on Revik’s shoulder, pulling him against someone’s legs. Revik’s light snaked out, fighting to identify whoever it was, and he winced when it ignited the collar. The fingers holding him nearly hurt him when he fought to get away.
“This is him, isn’t it? That Rook you had on the stage a few months ago?”
“Let go of him.”
“How much?” the male holding him said. “One blow job. How much?”
Revik felt it more than saw it. Lights crossed in the air over his head. His eyes darted to the corners, a buried habit now, but still intact, even now, when he could barely focus his eyes. He saw bodies everywhere, but even through them, he saw more seers with guns.
Security. They wore suits.
Like G-men.
Revik chuckled, watching them approach.
The music vibrated his chest from overhead speakers. He glimpsed bare legs, fishnet stockings, short skirts, high-heeled shoes…more suits. Haili was there. She smiled at him from a white leather chair across a glass table, winking as she met his gaze.
When Revik glanced up that time, he realized Torek was the one holding the gun.
He also realized he knelt on some kind of sheepskin rug, behind a glass table at the base of a leather sectional couch. He remembered i
t vaguely, but he couldn’t really trace back to how he’d gotten there. He remembered Torek telling him they were going out. Revik had almost been afraid. He hadn’t been out of Torek’s house in longer than…
Well, he didn’t really know how long it had been.
He just sat there, silent, as security converged on the drunk seer clutching his arm, forcing him to let go. Once he had, they pulled him out from behind the glass table.
“Take this dugra-te di aros out back and teach him a lesson in club etiquette,” Torek said, sounding angrier than Revik had ever heard him. “I don’t want him in here again. Ever. Take his image. Put his name on the goddamned list…”
Revik heard the murmured assents, even as they led the drunk seer away.
Once they were gone, Torek walked over to the sectional, sitting heavily in the leather behind where Revik knelt. Revik didn’t move, not until Torek slapped his own leg, once, an unambiguous command. Revik moved without thought then, sliding back and leaning his head on the other’s leg, not far from where Torek had hit it with his palm. He closed his eyes, fighting dizziness as he leaned his weight into the base of the leather couch.
Did you let him touch you? Torek asked.
Revik didn’t answer.
Torek gripped his hair. He shook him, once.
Did you let him touch you, brother? Did you ask him for it?
Revik fought to think. Had he? He couldn’t remember. He remembered hands on him. He remembering the other seer touching him…
He remembered wanting those hands on him really, really damned badly.
“Maybe,” he mumbled. He leaned deeper into the other seer’s leg, making his light submissive. I’m sorry.
He felt Torek’s anger worsen.
You think you’re going to get off that easy? he asked him through the Barrier. Disobedient little prick. You try to manipulate me like that again, and I’ll beat you unconscious…
Revik let out a low laugh. He couldn’t help it.
Had he tried to manipulate him? He couldn’t remember that, either.
He didn’t remember wanting that drunk seer at all.
He wanted Haili. He found himself staring at her, at her dark hair done up in curls piled on her head, dark lipstick, kohl eyes. She wore a sky blue dress, some kind of shimmery fabric, high heels, black nylons. He knew he’d watch her and Torek fuck later, but he wanted to watch it now. He wondered if Torek would let him go down on her.
He was really dizzy, though.
Too much alcohol…or drug, or whatever it was. Almost no food.
He just wanted to sleep, but his light was starting to hurt. More with every passing minute, it hurt, and he realized he could feel the light of other seers in the room, reacting to his pain. At least some of them had seen Torek flip out on that guy who’d been trying to coax Revik into giving him head. Some of them were openly turned on by his pain. Others were fascinated by the fact that Torek was displaying him as some kind of pet.
He wasn’t naked though. He didn’t have on a shirt, but he was like ninety percent sure he wore pants. But no shoes. Definitely no shoes.
Brother, I want you to give me head. Right now.
Confusion slid over Revik’s light, more pain. Here? he said.
Yes, here. Right now.
Revik felt his pain worsen, even before Torek started unbuckling his belt. The other seer hadn’t let him do this before. Not once. Not even in private. Revik could feel a hell of a lot more eyes on the two of them now, and not only from the seers sitting around the leather sectional. Haili was watching them, too, Revik realized. He felt her pain coil into his light, pulling on him already. She knew he hadn’t done this before, either.
Revik could feel the possessiveness behind the request, too. He knew Torek was pissing on him publicly, in his own way, at least. All of the attention the two of them pulled seemed to be both irritating Torek and turning him on, even now.
Are you going to disobey me in this, too? he sent, colder.
“No,” Revik managed. No…
He turned over, moving before the other seer changed his mind. He had Torek’s belt undone completely a few seconds later, and then he was unfastening the other seer’s pants.
You’re going to do this really, really well for me, brother, Torek said, leaning deeper into the couch. Then I’m taking you home.
Revik felt the pain twist harder through his light, nearly suffocating him that time, but he only nodded. He didn’t know what the going home part meant, but he could feel the intensity worsen in the other seer’s light, and knew it wouldn’t be the end of their evening. He was about to lower his mouth when Torek’s fingers tightened in his hair again.
Revik looked up, meeting his gaze.
Torek’s gold eyes were hard as metal. You do anything like that again, before our time together is up, and you might never leave my house again, brother mine, he sent. You let anyone else touch you like that again, without my explicit permission, and I’ll kill them…even if it’s Haili. I’ll kill them right in front of you. Do you understand?
Revik felt his chest clench.
Looking at those gold eyes, he believed him, though.
He nodded, once.
“No,” Torek said. “Say it. Out loud.”
“Yes,” Revik said. “I understand.”
“You’d fucking well better.” Now, do what I asked. Before I change my mind.
Revik only nodded.
For a long while after that, a crowd stood silent around the black sectional couch.
Others stopped to watch when they realized what the rest of them were looking at. All of them, Haili included, watched without moving, ignoring what was happening on the stage as their lights coiled into Revik’s and Torek’s.
Revik barely noticed.
Revik was cuffed to the floor again. He looked up at the high wooden ceiling and laughed. Everything hurt, so he wasn’t sure why he laughed. He was pretty damned drunk still, or high, or whatever…so maybe that was part of it.
Torek was playing the song White Rabbit, so maybe that was part of it, too.
Or maybe that was only happening in Revik’s head.
Even so, he groaned when the female seer lay on top of him.
He couldn’t touch her.
“Fuck,” he said. “Please. Please, goddamn it…please. Stop this…”
A terse voice rose from the other part of the room.
“You know what it’ll take, brother,” Torek said.
Revik watched him light a hiri, remembering earlier that night, the sound the seer made when he finally let go in that club. The memory made him instantly hard, painfully hard, even without Haili looking down at him, caressing his bare arms.
For the first time, he felt the part of him that had been fighting this falter.
For that brief instant, a shining moment that rotated over him…he stopped seeing the point of fighting it. He was fucking exhausted. He was hungry. He was so sick of this…he wanted sex so badly he was ready to sell his firstborn for it.
He felt Vash in that somewhere.
He grasped for the seer, for that whisper of his presence.
Help me, he pleaded into the Barrier. Help me, father…please…please help me…send someone. He’s not going to let me go…
The presence was gone though, a bare whisper that left nothing behind.
Revik felt for it anyway, doubting what he’d felt, confused by its absence.
When his eyes cleared, he realized the collar hadn’t gone off. So he couldn’t have been in the Barrier, not really. He couldn’t have felt Vash. He must be hallucinating. He must be seeing things, feeling things that weren’t there.
The woman was watching his eyes, and he realized only then that he was crying. He looked up at her, saw pain in her eyes, sympathy…
Let go, brother… she sent, soothing. Let go, my beautiful brother. Let us help you…we only want to help you…
All of the remaining resistance in him collapsed.
�
�What do you want to know?” he said.
His voice sounded deadened, even to his own ears.
He felt Torek react though, even from across the room.
He felt a crackling heat of the other’s living light as it whipped through the room, the disbelief there…the triumph.
He also felt relief in the other seer. He felt it in Haili, too, mixed with a desire that was now on the surface, that caused her to grind her hips down against his. Revik gasped a little at the intensity of all of those competing things, even as Torek got to his feet, walking over to where he was locked to the floor.
Torek crouched down beside Revik’s head, looking down at him with those gold eyes, his face serious, devoid of humor.
“You are ready to talk to me, brother?” he asked, soft.
Revik nodded. “Yes. What I can. I’ll tell you what I can.”
Torek smiled. “Fair enough.” For a longer pause he only studied Revik’s face, his light sparking with that heat. Then he turned to Haili. “Go. Leave us, sister.”
“She can stay,” Revik said. His pain worsened at the thought of her going.
“No,” Torek said. He shook his head, once. “She can’t. But I’ll bring her back in here, brother. As soon as you’re done talking to me. I’ll bring her back in here, and if you tell me enough, I’ll let her fuck you…as many times as you want. I’ll let you come, too.”
Feeling that sickness in his gut worsen, Revik nodded.
“All right?” Torek said.
“All right.”
“You’re going to talk to me first, brother. Until I tell you we are done.”
“What do you want to know?” Revik said again.
Torek waited until the door closed behind Haili’s naked body and bare feet. Then he looked back down at Revik. He lowered his weight down to a cross-legged position, sliding closer on the hardwood floor to the wood slab where Revik was chained.
“Did you go see her? When you went away?” he said.