by Zoe Dawson
“No,” he said with disgust. He rose and went over to check his gear to get away from the questions. He hadn’t been thinking straight at the ball. When he’d seen Hollywood touching her, it set off a chain reaction in him that he’d never experienced before. Breaking bones came to mind.
Ruckus piped up. “Who’s spreading the bitchy dust around, ladies?” He looked right at Hollywood. “Is it you, Stinkerbelle?”
“Just had some questions, sir.”
“Right. You engage your mouth before engaging your brain?”
“On occasion.”
“What’s that got you?”
“Some bruises, a black eye, sore jaw, getting laid.”
Tank grinned. Hollywood…damn him.
“But the chicks dig scars and glory is forever. Am I right, LT?”
He chuckled. “Lay off.”
Tank felt Hollywood boring a hole in his back. Suddenly Blue materialized beside him as if he, too, was checking his gear. He glanced up, those calm blue eyes making Tank cranky. “I don’t need your Obi-Wan bullshit right now.”
“The force is strong in you, grasshopper.”
“Fuck you.” Tank chuckled. He couldn’t help it. Blue delivered the line with an Asian accent. Only he could pull that off.
“Hollywood can be a dick. Don’t let him get to you.”
“Handsome, sparkling dick, apparently.”
Blue laughed out loud. “Yeah, but the guys are on edge.”
Tank studied Blue for a moment. “But not you.”
“I thought you didn’t want my Obi-Wan bullshit?”
“Sometimes I wonder how you can be so unaffected.”
“I’m not unaffected. I’m just surrendering to what is.”
“Surrendering?”
“Yes. Surrender is nothing but yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. Now is all there is. So accepting the present moment is surrendering to now. Inner resistance to what is means saying no, but that doesn’t mean you don’t take action to change the situation. Doesn’t mean we’re not going in and doing everything we can to complete the missions. Just means you accept what is. It’s totally internal.”
“You’re giving me a migraine, Blue.”
He chuckled. “Dr. Alyssa St. James tests your boundaries, makes you think in a different way. I say that’s not such a bad thing.”
“If you were in my head, Blue, you would.”
“Maybe the thinking would go better if you used the right head.”
The flight landed on a strip of land about ten klicks or approximately six and a half miles from the small Afghanistan town where the rebels were entrenched as a fortification and barrier to their stronghold just across the Amu Darya river, dividing Kirikhanistan from Afghanistan. To the west sat Termez, Uzbekistan near the Hairatan border crossing into Afghanistan and not far from there the Friendship Bridge built by the Soviet Union. Termez was a major supply hub for NATO during the war, founded by Alexander the Great and the old part of it destroyed by Genghis Khan.
The air was a chilly fifty degrees and the team didn’t come up for air for two and a half days. Tank had only slept nine hours. Most of his time he was unloading gear, making up his rack, sighting in his weapons, and planning every detail of their assault. By the time they were finished it was a small town with tents, latrines, a mess hall and command center surrounded by fencing with regular patrols. The afternoon of the third day slipped into evening. Tomorrow they were going after the Kirikhan rebels.
Ruckus was currently at the combat center and given a briefing on the operation planned prior to their arrival. That’s when the shit hit the fan. Tank heard him shouting from where he was exercising Echo. He eavesdropped unabashedly.
In this situation, they were tasked with working with NATO forces and the Green Berets who had their own reasons for going after the Kirikhans. Even before this op got underway, Ruckus had been going toe to toe with the brass about separating his SEALs to work with the Army commandos. LT was having none of that shit, and he told the brass in no uncertain terms that it led to mistakes. They were an elite fighting team, and the team wasn’t going to get separated.
The brass insisted, and Cowboy was the guy who got Ruckus to calm down as their LT was bordering on insubordination, but Tank agreed with him. Separation was a mistake.
He went to one knee and fiddled with Echo’s harness, checking for chafing, but he was really gathering his composure. His mind thick from no sleep, Tank focused on Echo, a disturbing feeling rolling over in his gut.
Moments later, Ruckus stalked angrily from the tent, swearing up a storm, Cowboy right behind him. His LT knew they were counting on him, and he wouldn’t jeopardize his command of Team Alpha by getting thrown in the brig. But they sure knew he was against this cockamamie proposal. And if his LT was against it, Tank was with him.
He hoped that his viewpoint wasn’t askew from lack of sleep and tension. After that, he, fed and watered Echo and they entered his bunk, made sure his body armor and helmet were ready for tomorrow, then lay down. Echo curled up next to him. He was wary of how tomorrow would go. They worked better as a team and separating could easily spell disaster. Team Alpha was used to having each other’s backs.
Even though he’d vowed she was off-limits both in his thoughts and in every other way that mattered, Tank thought of her. She felt like a touchstone more so in this moment than his brothers or the men he was going to be working with tomorrow. After all, she and all she stood for was what they were fighting for.
With the memory of her burning brightly in that butterfly costume all light and beauty, he offered up silent condolences to the families and loved ones of the men who had died. Their bodies would be landing back home soon.
Finally, he thought about the men who had been taken and what they must be enduring. That gave him resolve. He would never let them down.
Hoo-yah. We’re coming for you. Hang on.
His last thoughts before he drifted off were how incredibly soft Alyssa’s skin had been as he ran his knuckles down the line of her neck. Had he ever noticed that before?
“Get up, you sleepyhead!” Alyssa called out cheerfully, announcing her presence as she walked into her best friend’s apartment, which was located right down the hall from her own place. “I brought donuts, so dig in while they’re hot and delicious.”
Alyssa headed into the kitchen, but no one was there. Figuring Holly was still getting ready for work, Alyssa went ahead and poured herself a cup of coffee and rummaged through the refrigerator for the cream. She and Holly had an open-door policy for the most part, and keys to each other’s apartments. Most mornings they met for breakfast before Holly had to head to the university in La Jolla and Alyssa headed off to Coronado where she was filling in for the one of the active duty vets who was on maternity leave. Being on base again made her remember her active service, her love affair with Stephen, something she wanted to forget. She couldn’t refuse her commanding officer’s request as they went way back to before she’d been commissioned. He had been the one to suggest the Army scholarship that had gotten her through vet school on a full ride.
“Do you have to be so alert every morning? Can’t you grumble just once? And donuts, again. I swear you don’t put on a pound. Me, I’m getting a rubber tire around my midriff. How am I going to snag a hot Navy SEAL with padding?” Holly grumbled as she entered the kitchen wearing a pair of form-fitting slacks and a pretty navy sweater over a blue striped top. Her blonde hair was a beautiful tousled mess, as if she’d just rolled out of bed instead of showering and grooming.
Alyssa chuckled and eyed her friend’s trim waist. “Uh-huh. Bagels tomorrow.”
“With cream cheese,” Holly said with a laugh.
She grabbed her own cup of coffee and sat down at the table, choosing a powdery, chocolate cream filled donut.
“So you want to talk about it?”
“Huh?”
“Maybe I should say him. You want to talk about him?”
“Who?”
“Here we go again,” Holly said, then took a bite. When she’d swallowed, she said. “Hunky Navy SEAL that’s gorgeous enough to melt a woman into a gelatinous mess. That’s who.”
“I work with him, Holly.”
“And that lame ass response is supposed to close my mouth. It wasn’t me who ran out of the ball like her wings were on fire.”
Alyssa toyed with the sprinkles from her donut. “He’s being deployed. I wanted to tell him to be safe.”
“You wanted to kiss him and more.”
Startled, Alyssa sat up straighter. She was absolutely not going to tell her friend about the vividly erotic dream she’d had last night about Tank. She’d been deep asleep, but the image of Tank’s hands and mouth pleasuring her in such steamy, breath-taking detail had seemed so real. Intensely so. She’d felt the heat and strength of his big body stroking in and out of hers, and each hard, fierce thrust had sent her spiraling into the sweetest kind of ecstasy.
She’d woken up panting and moaning as her body clenched deep inside and the last ripples of an orgasm coursed through her body. She’d been shocked and realized that she’d had the equivalent of a wet dream, proof that her body truly was sexually deprived.
“Holly, he’s enlisted.” Her face warmed at the memory, and she ducked her head to hide the flush on her cheeks before Holly noticed and called her on it.
She polished off her donut and sipped her coffee. “In the Navy and you’re Army, reserves. Surely there’s some leeway.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. UCMJ applies to all branches of the service.”
Holly frowned. “Have you looked into it?”
“No. I told you. We work together.” She emphasized the words.
“Have you kissed him?”
She could still remember their encounter in that small room where she’d fixed his tie, could still feel the way he’d used his knuckles on the back of her neck to the slope of her shoulder and how his touch had ignited such a powerful sexual awareness between them. At that moment, she’d wanted to kiss him—the kind of slow, deep kiss infused with a heady rush of sensation. Could have sworn by the heat and desire in his eyes that he was thinking the same thing.
She was certain a kiss would have been so good between them…until he’d stepped away and she came out of her daze. Her lips tingled just thinking about making out with Tank. He’d saved her from herself. Her father would call this…lapse her stupid girl-induced hormone-saturated senses.
Other than the fact that he wasn’t much interested in a long-term relationship, she wasn’t sure she could keep herself from getting in too deep. But it didn’t matter. Enlisted!
Tank’s lips and his heavily muscled body were a career killer. Her father would be so disappointed in her for throwing her future away and giving in to being female. He believed that women were much too emotional to handle a man’s job. He’d told her to get rid of sentiment, toe the line, and keep it platonic. He wasn’t happy when she’d married Stephen. She was sure it reminded her father that she was a woman.
Holly rapped her knuckles gently against Alyssa’s forehead. “Come back from dirtymindland. I’m guessing you want him to kiss you.”
“I haven’t kissed him, and he hasn’t kissed me. Satisfied, nosey?”
“No. Not really. How can I live vicariously through you if you don’t cooperate?” She pushed her plate away and sighed.
“I think you need to stop living through me, honey, and get some real action.” Alyssa got up and washed out her coffee cup.
“Okay,” Holly said with a smirk, turning toward Alyssa at the sink and crossing her legs. “I’ll take you up on that. How about we go out on Friday night?”
“Ah—”
“I wont’ take no for an answer. Please, I need some male attention.”
Holly’s eager and pleading look did her in. She was a sucker for her friend’s pathetic face. “Okay, I’ll be your wingman even though I’m in the Army.”
Holly gave her a great big smile. “Great. It’s a date.”
She left Holly’s apartment and Alyssa’s thoughts strayed to Tank again. Foremost in her mind was his and the team’s safety. She had a lot of affection for the bunch of them. But it was Tank’s handsome face and big, beautiful body she couldn’t get off her mind.
She approached the gate to Coronado. She was waved through. The morning streaked by and as the lunch hour approached, Alyssa was starved. She was heading out the door to the mess as her commanding officer was coming in. “Just the person I was looking for.”
“Colonel Johnson? Did we have a meeting?”
“No, this is an impromptu visit. I want to talk to you.”
“Sure. I’m just heading to mess. You interested?”
“I should grab a bite. I have a busy afternoon.”
As they arrived and then got their food, Alyssa wondered why he would make a special trip to the clinic.
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
“You going to active duty. After I’ve seen what you’ve done here, I’m even more impressed. We need you in the Corps and I have the perfect assignment for you.”
Alyssa had begun her career as an active duty Captain in the U.S. Army after she graduated from veterinarian school and was commissioned. She spent three active years in the Army Veterinary Corps working military public health and delivering services to military working dogs and other government-owned animals. It’s where she met and married Captain Stephen Wilcox. After her divorce, she’d transferred to the reserves and opened her own practice. She’d been juggling both with drill one weekend a month.
“Go active duty? I hadn’t—” The thought of getting back into active duty made her pause, big time. She’d left to get more grounded, focus on veterinary work, build something instead of living a vagabond life. Lick your wounds after you divorce.
“I know. It wasn’t on your radar and you have your practice. I get all that, but I want you to head up surgery at Lackland.”
She gulped and choked on her water. “What?” she wheezed. “Are you serious?”
“It would include a promotion.”
Her heart stalled. She would make full colonel before she was in her mid-thirties. That was pretty amazing, but there was only one catch. “Stephen is at Lackland, Jack.”
“I know. He would be taking orders from you, though.”
That made her smile. “Can I think about this?”
“Sure, you have a bit before Dr. Peterson comes back to work. Want to see pictures of the baby?”
He pulled out his phone, and as he scrolled through the pictures, Alyssa couldn’t stop her mind from spinning at the news and the fact that her career would get a huge boost here. It wasn’t exactly what she’d planned for, but could she pass it up? She loved the service, the people, the job. The only cons were that she’d be back near San Antonio, and Stephen wouldn’t take it in stride that she was not only a rank higher than him, but his boss. That would rankle the hell out of him. But she wasn’t sure she really cared about that. Her days of worrying about Stephen Wilcox were over.
This move would also take her away from the temptation of Tank, and that was an even better reason to consider it seriously.
Except she immediately felt resistance to putting distance between them. Time was ticking away for her to have a serious relationship that would lead to marriage, children. She was so busy that it was only in her quiet moments when she felt the lack of those things. Marriage itself wasn’t evil. She didn’t fear it with the right man. Truthfully, she lived the lifestyle and was well aware distance between a military couple was part of the equation. But she realized also that it would take one dedicated person to be the home base, the touchstone who dealt with everyday details to make it work.
Her path right now was about career, not family. She wondered how anyone dealing with such stressors ever got it right.
Tank woke to dust and the cold. He’d slept fully clothed, minus the bo
ots. When he swung off the cot, the high-pitched whistle high overhead hit the compound and exploded somewhere on base. “Well, that was a nice wake the fuck up call,” he growled as he laced up his boots and went to muster with the rest of the camp until the all-clear call came. Echo by his side. The SF and NATO guys all came dressed in body armor with their weapons. Wicked said, “Don’t sweat it, guys. It’s already blown up.” They laughed softly amongst ourselves.
After breakfast they got down to business. They trained the rest of the day, and Ruckus and Cowboy attended the tactical-leader debrief. After dinner, Tank tried to call Jordan, but he didn’t answer. He instead called Dan. He picked up the phone and his brother’s face filled Tank’s laptop. He was at work dressed in his navy blue uniform.
They chatted for a bit, then Tank said, “Do you know what’s up with Jordan?”
Dan frowned. “Nothing that I know of. He’s thinking about going back to school to become a vet. That sweet Doc of yours is a great influence on him. I know he loves working with her.”
“She’s not my Doc, Dan.”
“Sure she’s not. You two should get a room already.”
Before Tank could reply, the siren went off in the firehouse. “Gotta go, bro. Stay strong and loose over there and come back alive.”
“Got it.”
Dan disconnected the call and Tank was still left with an unsettling feeling about his baby brother.
As morning dawned bright and clear, except for the dust the unrelenting wind had kicked up, they met with the Green Berets and NATO troops and piled into the choppers. It was a tight fit, but the short flight went fast. It wasn’t long before their point man, Kid, shouted, “One minute out.”
When they exited the chopper after touchdown, they deployed right into a thick dust cloud and Tank followed the man in front of him until he went down to one knee as they waited for the choppers to ascend, clearing the way to their objective. The air was heating up but in this part of Afghanistan, it didn’t usually hit eighty.
Tank surveyed the troops moving forward. He easily recognized his team members by the way they moved and didn’t like the fact that he would be separated from them. Wicked and Scarecrow were to his right, and Kid and Hollywood were to his left. They disappeared. They were all making their way along with the main effort, paralleling Tank’s movement. There was something going on with the group, but no one was on comms, and as he looked for the rest of the team, he got uneasy about the disorganization.