“I’m going to sit with her for a while.” Frankie said. “Do you think you can scare me up a cup of coffee?”
“Sure. I was going for one myself.” She checked her watch. “I need to go do my rounds. I’ll bring your coffee to you first though. Turn your cell phone off in here it can interfere with the heart monitor. I’ll come back and check on you in a little while.”
23
Two days later, Chase leaned against the inside of her closed office door. She wiped away the few lonely tears that snaked down her cheek. She had never felt so weak in her life, not even when Yelena had her ‘French bitch’ claws in her. She needed to pull herself together and very soon before the entire hospital figured out she was moping around over a patient, a patient she was in love with, a patient that didn’t deserve to be going through this alone. Over the past month her mind had wandered back to that night numerous times, the night she told Remy to stay away from her after she professed her love. If she had just accepted the fact that she loves her too and pulled her into her arms like she was aching to do then none of this would have happened. Remy wouldn’t be lying in the bed right now fighting to heal her battered body.
Chase jumped when her pager went off. It was the ICU number so she quickly called back. There was a chance Remy would wake up at any time since they took her off the sedative. Three days post-op was long too long to be comatose. She should have woken up already.
“Dr. Leery there are some officers here asking to see Ms. Sheridan. I told them I needed to contact her doctor since she was sedated.”
“You did the right thing. I’ll be right there.” She hung up her desk phone and took a brisk walk down the hall.
When Chase turned the corner she was met by a very attractive woman in a dark suit. Her long dark wavy hair was pulled up in a ponytail. High cheekbones accentuated her creamy complexion making her deep blue eyes look like the color of the ocean on a hot summer day. Chase swallowed what little bit of saliva she could muster. This woman’s a cop?
“Dr. Leery,” The woman questioned. “I’m Detective Nikola. I know Ms. Sheridan is still under sedation, but I need to see her anyway. I have some news on her case.”
Nikola, ah, she’s Greek. No wonder she’s beautiful. Too bad she’s not my type. She thought. “What news?”
“I’m sorry I can’t disclose.” She raised an eyebrow.
“Then I can’t let you see her. She’s no longer medically sedated, she could wake up at anytime and frightening information may cause her to prolong her own mental sedation.”
The detective moved away from the nurse’s desk and nodded for Chase to follow her. “We know who did this to her. I just need her to wake up and give a statement. I was hoping she might want to wake up.”
“What if she doesn’t remember anything? Some people that go through a traumatic event sometimes lose that particular timing in their memory. If so, making her relive it could be much worse the second time around.”
“I’m here to solve a case Doctor, not get a psychology lesson. The print is partial and the only way we get him is by her identifying him.”
“Excuse me Dr. Leery,” The young blond nurse jumped out of her seat. “The monitors are going wild in Ms. Sheridan’s room. I think she may be waking up.”
Chase ran down the hall with the detective on her heels. When they reached the third door on the right Chase spun around into her. Beautiful or not she wasn’t calling the shots, not in this hospital, and definitely not on this patient. “Give her twenty-four hours to completely come around. Her mind has to reboot and she doesn’t need any stress during this process. Leave your card with the nurse and I’ll call if she’s talking before then.”
Detective Nikola gritted her teeth. It was clear she wasn’t use to being told no. Chase stood her ground. They were standing as close as lovers, staring each other down as if sizing up the competition. A few of the other nurses in the hall began to stop and watch the display. Finally, the detective backed up a step. “I’ll be back in twenty-four hours.”
Chase took a deep breath and opened the door. Remy’s head turned towards her, big brown eyes rolled around slowly before fixing on their target. Chase smiled in relief when Remy recognized her. The heart monitor she was hooked to began to beep louder alerting her heart rate had increased.
“Don’t try to sit up. You’ve been through a lot over the past few days and it’s going to take you some time to regroup okay.” Chase said as she shined the penlight in her eyes and checked the monitors.
When Remy tried to speak Chase put her finger on dry cracked lips. “Let me get you some water, hold on.” She said as she reached for the tray with a pink plastic pitcher full of ice water. She had no idea why they bothered to put those in comatose patient’s rooms it’s not like they were going to sit up and pour themselves a glass.
Remy took the straw between her lips slowly. After a few sips Chase pulled the cup away. “Is that better?”
“Yeah,” She croaked. “What happened to me?”
Chase wasn’t sure what to say, she didn’t want to scare her, but she wasn’t going to lie to either. “You had surgery a few days ago and your body has been recovering.”
“My entire body hurts, I can hardly move.” She said slowly.
“It probably will for a few weeks unfortunately.” Chase grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly.
“Are you my doctor?” She asked. When Chase nodded she reached up to feel her chest.
“What are you doing? Be careful you have IV lines and drain tubes in you.” Chase stopped her hand from reaching her chest wear a bandage covered the stitch line than ran between her breasts. “Give yourself some time to wake up Remy. We can talk about everything in a little bit okay.” She grabbed Remy’s hand and brought it to her face. She turned to hide the tears in her eyes when Remy’s warm palm caressed her cheek.
“Chase.” Remy breathed her name.
“Hmm,” Chase kept her eyes closed and her face towards the floor.
“You look sad.” She tried to pick her chin up to see her green eyes, but Chase stood instead.
“I’ll send the nurse in to take some new vitals and check your dressing.” She looked at her watch. “I’ve got rounds but I’ll be back later. I know it sounds cliché since you just woke up, but try to get some rest. I’ll see you soon.”
***
Chase called Frankie to give her the good news. She wanted to run up and down the halls screaming because she was finally awake and seemed to be recouping just fine. Chase was so damn happy and sad at the same time. She wanted to pull Remy into her arms and kiss her. Instead, she had to play doctor/patient, at least for the time being. Now that she was awake she’d be going home in a day or two and Chase could have the conversation that was eating her away.
Two cups of coffee, rounds, and a short meeting to update the changing ICU staff on Remy’s condition, and she was heading back into her room. Chase noticed she was sleeping when she walked in so she quietly shut the door and sat on the stool next to her bed. She looked more peaceful than when she was sedated. It had made her appear lifeless with zero movement and shallow breathing. At the moment, Remy face was fluttering and she was breathing deeply, two signs of dream sleep instead of dead sleep.
Chase smiled when brown eyes met hers. “Hey there, I said I’d be back.” She helped her drink some more water.
“I feel like an alligator in the desert.” Remy said as she tried to get comfortable, or as comfortable as she could get lying in that bed. She pushed the button to elevate her head which caused her to stretch her chest and she winced in pain.
“Are you hurting?” Chase rushed to her side.
“My chest hurts, hell my whole torso hurts like someone beat me with a hammer.” She readjusted her position and finally just settled on being uncomfortable. “The other doctor that came in said I need to get up and try walking. I think he’s crazy.”
Chase laughed. “He’s right. The more you move around the sooner you w
ill get out of here.” She watched as Remy absently rubbed at the dressing covering the staples in her chest.
“My chest itches and hurts like hell.” She sighed and settled further into the pillows.
“Remy do you remember what happened to you?” Chase grabbed her hand loving the way if felt just to hold some part of her when all she really wanted to do was crawl into that bed and hold her until the pain was gone.
“No. You said I had surgery. Was I in an accident?” Her brows creased, she tried to conjure up some kind of memory, but there was nothing there.
“On Tuesday you were attacked by someone in your apartment.” Chase watched the color drain from her face. “Whoever attacked you beat you up pretty good, you have some internal bruising which is part of the reason your body is so sore. He also stabbed you in the chest.”
Remy raised tear filled eyes to Chase and reached up to run her hand over the bandages on her chest softly. “How bad is it?” She asked as the tears fell in long streaks.
Chase swallowed the lump in her throat and squeezed her hand. “It…you…uh,” Chase cleared her suddenly scratchy throat. “You are going to be just fine. There was no damage.” Chase forced a smile and stood up. “You need to follow Dr. Toby’s orders and get out of this bed.” She reached over and wiped away the tears. “Frankie should be here soon. I talked to her earlier. I’ll see you again before you get out. You’re in good hands.” Chase winked and let go of her hand, all she wanted to do was kiss her and tell her how much she loved her, but damn it she couldn’t do anything but walk away. If word got out that she was involved with a patient she could lose her license.
“Chase…” Remy whispered.
***
Frankie watched Remy sleep. The frown lines were slowly disappearing. The nurse gave her two shots into her IV line, she didn’t bother to ask what it was, but it knocked Remy out within a matter of minutes. She needed the rest, her body was still recovering. Frankie wondered if she should have even told her the story. Maybe Chase shouldn’t have told her anything either. It couldn’t be good for her to be so upset. Frankie had her doubts about those two the instant she saw their little make out session on the security camera in her office. Now, it was as plain as the off-white paint on the walls in the stale room. Those two women loved each other with everything they had. She wasn’t sure love was capable of being so deep. She wondered if she’d ever loved like that. No. She was sure very few people in the world ever knew what it was like to meet your soul mate and feel the true push and pull of yin and yang.
24
Frankie heard the sobs before she saw the tears. Remy’s room was dimly lit with the multi-colored lights from the machines casting a soft glow. She had talked to Chase before going up to the ICU, she knew Chase was caught between a rock a hard place. She’d never seen her friend so empty. Her heart broke for both of them.
“Hey there,” Frankie grabbed Remy’s hand and sat in the chair on the opposite side of the bed from the monitors and stool Chase had sat on.
“I was attacked.” Remy wiped her tears away and cringed from the pain in her chest. She was overdue for her meds because she was too upset to take them an hour ago when the nurse brought them, now she was definitely in pain.
“I know sweetie.” Frankie handed her a tissue from the box on the table. “I’m so sorry.”
“She acted like it was nothing, like this is routine for her. Well it’s not routine for me Frankie. How can she sit there in ‘doctor mode’? Does she hate me that much?” She sobbed and tears covered her cheeks once again. Her chest hurt so bad and only part of was from the surgery, she suspected her heart was breaking all over again.
Frankie rubbed her free hand over Remy’s as she held it. “Oh honey she does care, she has been at your side since the helicopter arrived on the roof with you in it. She saved your life you know.”
Remy raised an eyebrow. What had Frankie just said? The pounding in her head was beginning to match the throbbing in her chest. “What are you saying?”
“Remy I’m not sure how much she told you, or…”
“She just said I was attacked and he stabbed me, but I’m fine. Is she lying? Frankie tell me…please.” She pleaded.
“You are fine…now. Remy,” She chewed her bottom lip, something she did when she was nervous. “Are you sure you want to hear this now? Maybe you should rest.”
“Damn it! I’m sick of everyone saying I need to rest. I’m stuck in this bed all I can do is rest for crying out loud. I want to know the truth.”
“Chase told you the truth, she just left out a few details.” Frankie handed her another tissue. “Chase was on the phone with me when she was paged to the roof to meet the helicopter. She had no idea it was you until you were in the operating room. She said the knife pierced your heart a little bit, she would have to explain that to you. Anyway, she saved your life Remy.” Frankie watched the tears fall again. “And she was at your side every hour checking on you until you woke up.”
“Then why is she so cold? She runs out as soon as she comes in, she barely talks to me.” She cried. “I love her so god damn much and I don’t know how else to tell her Frankie. She doesn’t want me back.”
“Remy she’s a doctor, a very highly respected doctor at this hospital and in her field. If she let on that on that she has feelings for you or has ever been involved with you she could get into serious trouble. She could lose her license. Doctors aren’t supposed to treat patients they know, it’s against the law sweetie. You have no idea how hard it is for her to see you like this and not be able to take the pain away. The woman hasn’t slept in days, hell, probably months. I don’t think I have ever seen her so sad in all the years I’ve known her. Remy she loves you, she’s just not able to show it, not here, not like this.”
Remy just stared at her. She didn’t realize Chase risked her career to save her life. Here she was acting selfish because Chase was acting like a doctor, when that’s what she was first and foremost, a doctor. She wished she could see her, but knew that wouldn’t happen anytime soon. “I…Frankie can you get the nurse.”
Frankie jumped up. “Is everything okay? I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“It’s alright.” Remy squeezed her hand. “I’m just in a lot of pain. I need my meds.” She sighed and laid her head back on the pillow. Thin lines ran across the center of her forehead in tiny creases. She was obviously in serious pain and had been fighting against it.
25
Chase poured a few ounces of bourbon into a rocks glass and leaned with her back against the kitchen counter. This was her first glass and she was looking forward to the slow descent into the land of numbness. She had just finished an all night shift at the hospital, the sun was peaking over the horizon.
It had been three long weeks since the afternoon she got the page to the roof of the hospital where Remy’s life hung in the balance. She walked out of the hospital two days ago with barely a sign that she’d almost died, except for the pale deathly look that all of the patients seemed to have. She’d smiled at Chase when she walked past her in the hallway, a courtesy smile for the doctor that saved her life, only Chase saw the pain swirling in the depths of her brown eyes.
Chase downed the golden liquid and set the glass in the sink. She snatched her keys off the counter, not bothering to shower the night away or change out of her scrubs. She slammed the top back on her convertible Mercedes and headed in the one direction that seemed to make it hurt less.
***
Remy’s apartment was closer to the hospital than Chase’s beachfront condo. Chase wondered if the dark stain on the staircase was Remy’s blood as she stepped over it. She wondered why she hadn’t taken Frankie up on her offer to stay with her while she recovered.
Chase knocked softly on the crème colored door to apartment four-twelve. She ran a hand through her short blond hair and waited. Remy was probably asleep, she checked her watch. The sun had just risen and it was barely six o’clock. She started to s
tep away when she heard the lock click.
“Chase,” Remy whispered with a raspy voice she’d obviously been sleeping. She pulled the door open enough to allow Chase to enter. She was dressed in a loose baby blue t-shirt that rose just enough to show the bottom of her black panties. Her short brown hair was sticking out in all directions. She was adorable, sexier than ever. Chase felt her chest ache and her stomach flip flop. God she missed her.
“I’m sorry I woke you. I just…I had to see you.” Chase sat on the couch next to Remy and reached for her hand. “I’m sorry about a lot of things.”
“I understand. I don’t want you to lose your job for saving my life Chase.”
Chase raised an eyebrow.
“Frankie explained everything. I just wish you would’ve told me. I thought you truly did hate me.” Remy bit the inside of her lower lip, a gesture Chase recognized as nervousness.
“I don’t hate you Remy. I could never hate you. I was so scared someone would see me crying at your bedside night after night and moping around like I was lost. When you woke up I knew you would be okay. I had to pull away. I’ll never do that again. I’d rather lose my career than watch you suffer in pain and not be able to hold you in my arms and kiss away your tears.” Chase squeezed her hand and slid closer to her. “I’m sorry for so many things Remy. First, for pushing you away, I keep asking myself if this would’ve happened to you if I hadn’t told you to go away and leave me alone. I…”
“It would’ve happened anyway.” Remy stared at the floor. “The detective was here yesterday. I had to ID my attacker.” She took a deep breath, surprised to see the pain in her chest had subsided since she’d been home and sleeping in her own comfortable bed. “Chase, the partial print on the knife belonged to Brian.”
Secluded Heart Page 14