by Anna Willett
The image faded. Milly realised she knew nothing about her sister as an adult. All she had were memories, and even those seemed like dreams. Suddenly the cries of the seagulls rang mournful and depressing. Milly bit her bottom lip and blinked away tears. Maybe we can build some new memories, she thought and watched her sister stride confidently over a patch of reddish sand. The colour reminded Milly of dried blood. She looked back at the powdery white beach in the distance and felt a moment’s trepidation. I’m being ridiculous, she told herself. The colour’s nothing more than some kind of mineralisation due to the surrounding granite. Australia’s covered in red sand, I can’t let every little thing get under my skin. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on matching her stride with Judith’s.
The path got steeper and Milly found herself sweating in spite of the crisp sea breeze. “Lucas, can we stop for a minute and take a break?”
Judith dropped her pack on the path. It was an impatient movement. She flopped down in the sand and swiped her hat off.
“Okay,” Lucas stopped and pulled a sheaf of papers out of one of the many pockets on his long pants. “We’re nearly at the edge of the cliffs.” He shuffled the papers and slipped them back in his pocket.
Lucas’s deep, masculine voice competing with the sough of the ocean triggered a long suppressed memory – jagged rocks gleaming like alien pieces of obsidian in the moonlight. White skin, stark and helpless. Milly shuddered and forced her mind back to the present.
She slipped her shoulders out of her pack and sat a metre or so away from her sister. Harper stepped around them and stood beside Lucas. She seemed quite taken with him. Just like Harper, Milly smiled in amusement, zeroing in on the nearest available man.
“We need to talk.” Judith pulled a bottle of water from the side of her pack and unscrewed the cap.
Milly’s tongue felt sandy and dry. She reached for her water bottle hoping Judith meant talk about the future, not the past.
“Probate will be finalised this week. I think we should keep Mum’s house and rent it out.”
It wasn’t what Milly had been expecting. Not what she’d hoped for. Was this why Judith wanted the get together? To talk about finalising their mother’s substantial estate? Surely not, they could have done that just as well by email. Still, it surprised her that financial matters were the first thing Judith brought up. A flicker of resentment sparked in her gut. Maybe she thought getting her out here and badgering her would be a better approach.
“Is that why we’re here?” she snapped. “You want to sort out the money?”
Judith flinched and Milly immediately felt guilty for her outburst. “No. That’s not why we’re here. I…” Judith’s voice trailed off. “Sorry. Not the best way to start off.” Judith put her hat on and shoved her drink bottle back in her pack. “It’s just hard to know where to start.”
The emotion in her sister’s voice struck a chord. Milly wanted this to work. She wanted it more than she’d realised. Seeing Judith again brought up bad memories, but good ones too. Maybe it could never be like it was before that night, but just to know they weren’t enemies would be something.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” Milly thought of touching her sister’s arm but hesitated. “I know we have to start somewhere, how about something a bit lighter?”
“Like what?” Judith asked with a small raise of her lips.
Milly pushed her straw hat back and scratched her sweat-dampened fringe. “Tell me about work. How’s it going?” Milly knew Judith worked for a big law firm but not much else.
“It’s okay.” She shrugged. “Not very interesting. I’m mostly in the Human Resource Department. You?”
“Same. Nothing terribly exciting.” Milly felt a small flutter in her stomach. She wished she hadn’t brought up work. Worried that she’d let too much slip, she tried to be evasive. “I do enjoy my work, it certainly keeps me busy…”
“Oh come on. We all know you’re a big successful magazine editor.” Judith chuckled, but her tone carried an edge of bitterness. “You don’t have to play it down for us mere mortals.” She waved her hand towards Lucas and Harper who had stopped talking and were now listening to the sister’s conversation.
“I’m not playing it down.” Milly knew she sounded defensive and tried to smile. “I’m an assistant editor. Not the editor.”
“I’m sure it won’t take you long to get to the top,” Judith said and stood.
“Okay girls.” Harper trilled. “Play time’s over. Let’s keep going.”
Milly scrambled to her feet and followed the group. Only now Harper was at the front with Lucas and she was left to bring up the rear. For a moment they’d seemed to be actually talking, then everything changed and Judith shut down again. What did I say? Is it going to be like this the whole time? She felt the spark of resentment reignite. I’m not the one who got someone killed. Why should I always feel like the bad guy?
* * *
Judith watched Lucas stomp along the path as it edged its way above the jagged cliffs. Far below, the sound of the surf exploded against the rocks. Being this close to the water with Millicent unnerved her. The skin on her arms felt tender with pickles that rubbed against the fabric of her shirt. Her thoughts constantly shifted between the past and present, keeping her off balance and jumpy. Once we veer away from the coast, I’ll feel better, she told herself.
From the moment Milly got out of her car, Judith felt her disquiet increase. It was only the beginning of the journey, they had a long way to go. She wondered if she could keep her anger in check until she reached her goal. She had to keep calm and find a way to talk to her sister without giving anything away. She wondered how Harper was feeling and resisted the urge to stop and watch her move along the trail.
“We’re heading inland now, so the going might get rough,” Lucas called over his shoulder and stepped off the path.
Barely listening, Judith followed Lucas off the trail toward the barren landscape that separated the coast from the forest.
Underfoot, the sand turned to granite and then greyish dust. Judith could hear her sister behind her, walking boots thumping and scraping along the track. I wonder how long she’ll last before she wants another rest? She wanted things to speed up. For this to have any chance of working, they had to reach the cliff.
Chapter Four
Milly swallowed the last of her vegemite sandwich with a sip of water. The sky hung like a milky blue curtain scattered with wispy strands of cloud. With some distance between them and the coast, the wind calmed to a cool breeze.
“How long have you and Judith known each other?” Milly asked, crumpling up the wax paper wrapping from her sandwich and stowing it in a zip lock bag.
Lucas took a bite of a bruised-looking green apple and chewed slowly. Milly began to think he wasn’t going to answer. “Not long,” he finally said.
Milly noticed dark lines curling out across his chest. It looked like a word tattooed beneath his shirt but she couldn’t make out the letters. Probably one of those hipster inspirational tattoos like Carpe Diem or Breathe, she thought and suppressed the urge to smile.
“So what do you do when you’re not leading hiking groups?” She tried to draw him out in the hope of finding out what sort of person her little sister hung out with.
“I’m a personal trainer,” his voice rasped deep, almost husky and his eyes looked so dark, they seemed bottomless.
Milly wondered if there might be more between him and her sister than friendship. But if that were the case, why would he spend so much time chatting to Harper? And why was he being so monosyllabic? What had Judith told him? She watched him suck on the apple core and then toss it in his mouth and chew it up. She wrinkled her nose and pushed up off the rough slab of granite.
Judith stood away from the group, beneath a scattering of gum trees. Her hat tucked in her back pocket, one hand on her hip while she ate one of Lucas’s green apples. Milly decided it might be a chance to have a
word in private with her sister. As she walked away, she heard Lucas explaining the importance of secure knots to Harper. God, he really is a bit of an ass.
“I thought you hated green apples.” It was the first thing that popped into Milly’s mind, she hoped it didn’t sound critical.
“Yeah.” Judith screwed up her nose in a familiar expression. “I don’t know why I’m forcing it down.” She tossed the apple into the trees where a magpie immediately pounced on it and hopped away with the half-eaten piece of fruit in its pointy beak. “I notice you still love your vegemite.” She seemed to be about to say something else but stopped.
“Some things never change.” Milly watched the bird dance amongst the trees. “I’m sorry about earlier. You know, if I said something to upset you.” She spoke without looking at her sister. “I really want this to work out. I want us to be friends.” The words were out. She steeled herself for a rebuff or glib comment.
“I do too and I’m sorry for being so … prickly.” The tremor in Judith’s voice surprised her, as did her willingness to admit she was also at fault. “I’m glad you have a great career, it’s just…” Judith sighed. “I suppose I feel a bit…”
“Alright, let’s get moving,” Lucas’s voice made Milly jump. How had he approached them so silently?
Milly thought about protesting, but Judith was already walking back to her pack, the moment lost.
* * *
The afternoon drew on, the light dimmed, and the sun settled behind gathering clouds. Milly checked her watch: 3:15 p.m. They’d been heading inland for three hours. The landscape had transformed from squat, succulent scrub to increasingly barren granite. Her pack, manageable at first, now felt as if a couple of bricks had been added. Her shoulders protested at the weight and the straps bit into the soft skin around her collar bone. She considered asking for another break, but no one else seemed to be struggling so she gritted her teeth and pushed on.
“I need a toilet break.” Judith didn’t wait for permission. She dropped her pack and took off into the bush.
“Alright,” Lucas said mostly to Harper. “We may as well stop for a few minutes.”
His attitude was starting to wear on Milly. They’d been walking for hours and he’d barely acknowledged her. Come to think of it, he’d hardly spoken to Judith either. Milly slipped off her pack and let lose a moan of relief. She rolled her shoulders and stretched her neck to the side.
“How you doing, Mil?” Harper asked. Apart from a light sheen of perspiration on her upper lip, she looked unfazed by the hike.
Milly kneaded her shoulder. “I’m beginning to think I’m out of my depth,” she whispered. “I’m not a marathon runner like you.”
“I’ll tell Lucas to slow down a bit.” Harper kneaded Milly’s other shoulder. “This is meant to be fun, not a death march.”
Milly started to speak, but Harper’s choice of words took her breath away. A death march. The words sent a chill up her arms. She rolled the sleeves of her shirt down and fastened them at her wrists. The breeze that had been crisp and refreshing at first, now felt harsh and stinging. She looked around for her sister, but she’d disappeared into the ragged-looking bush.
Milly listened to Harper and Lucas discussing the pace of their hike. “I don’t think we should push it,” Harper stood a few metres away with her back to Milly. “Let’s just keep things light?”
Lucas, head and shoulders taller than Harper, nodded. “I suppose I’m used to hiking with a more experienced group,” he said with a grin.
Milly bit her lower lip, holding back an angry retort. No doubt Lucas’s crack was aimed at her. The guy’s a gym junkie, probably short on brain cells, she reminded herself. Still, his jibe hurt. Or maybe she just felt vulnerable and out of her comfort zone. The purpose of the trip was to heal some old wounds with her sister, she could certainly cope with a macho pig like Lucas.
She hefted her pack, sliding it across her back. “Don’t slow down on my account,” she nodded at Lucas. “I’m sure I can keep up.”
“Keep up with what?” Judith asked from behind her.
“I was just telling Lucas we should slow down a bit,” Harper answered. Milly noticed a look pass between them. Their eyes held for a second as if they both wanted to say more. Have they been talking about me? Milly knew Harper kept in touch with her sister, perhaps they’d become close. She felt a spark of resentment, mostly towards her sister. Harper had been Milly’s friend since high school and now Judith had muscled in. I’m being childish, she told herself. What did it matter if they’d become friends? Milly tried to shrug it off but couldn’t help feeling hurt. It’s like I’m an outsider. Harper could have told me they were friends.
Judith tilted her chin and looked up at the sky. She seemed to be thinking. Milly followed her gaze. A cluster of clouds the colour of washed-out bed sheets hung overhead.
“We’ve got some climbing to do,” Judith said, still staring at the sky. “We need to get a move on. If it rains, the rocks will be too slippery.”
The thought of scaling a craggy cliff in the rain got Milly moving. The last thing she wanted was to slip and fall. She secured her shoulder straps, hoisting the weight of the pack up and waited while her sister did the same.
“Hang on,” Harper said and ducked behind Milly. “Your pack’s open.”
Milly felt her friend tug on the straps. “You don’t have to prove anything,” she whispered. Milly felt her friend’s breath on the side of her neck.
“I know,” Milly answered under her breath.
Twenty minutes later, the trail petered out. Underfoot, dusty ground became hard and tightly packed. Patches of grit were punctuated by slabs of granite, where deceptively sharp bushes sprouted seemingly from every crevice. The landscape in this part of the Leeuwin-Naturaliste National Park became wild and austere. Milly hoped the rest of the hike would take them into more appealing terrain. The thought of spending two nights in this setting made her throat tighten and her stomach twist.
“We’re right on top of the overhang,” Lucas stopped and turned to face the women. There was no mistaking the excitement in his voice. “I’ll get the ropes rigged up. If you wanna look over the edge,” he pointed to the rocks about ten metres ahead. “Be careful, erosion can make some sections … unpredictable.” He crouched beside his pack and began pulling out rope and rigging.
Judith and Harper seemed unfazed by Lucas’s warning. Both were moving towards the rocks.
“Um, should we really be climbing on rocks that are eroding?” Milly raised her voice. Harper stopped walking and turned, but Judith continued to make her way towards the edge. “There’s no trail here. It doesn’t seem like climbers regularly use this area.” Cold streams of sweat ran down her spine.
“It’s fine as long as you know what you’re doing,” Lucas tipped his black baseball cap back on his head. Strands of dark hair clung to his forehead. “I’ve climbed in areas like this before and…”
“You haven’t climbed this particular rock before?” Milly’s voice ratcheted up another notch. Now Judith turned and regarded her with a grim expression.
Milly couldn’t believe she was the only one who seemed concerned. She thought she saw Judith and Harper exchange a glance and wondered if they were worried about the prospect of climbing down a crumbling cliff or the look was about her reaction.
Lucas dropped the ropes and stood. “It’s safe, I promise.” The sky above him looked grey and ominous, but his voice sounded warm, earnest.
The change in his demeanour caught her off guard and Milly found herself wondering if she’d been too quick to judge him. Was she really afraid of the climb or had seeing Judith standing on the edge of the drop brought back images?
“Look,” he said stepping towards her. “It’s a safe climb. Only about twelve or so metres. I’ve done this sort of thing hundreds of times.” He reached out and touched her shoulder. She could feel the warmth of his hand through her shirt. “You’ll be fine.”
�
��I’ll go first,” Judith said, and Milly realised she was standing beside her. “You’ll be surprised how easy it is.” She thought she heard kindness in her sister’s voice.
“Okay,” Milly nodded and let out a long breath. How could she refuse?
Geared up, Milly watched her sister step backwards over the edge. She had to admire her courage, Judith didn’t even hesitate. She steadied herself and then nodded to Lucas who let loose some slack on the ropes. With a smooth hop and a small patter of tiny rocks, Judith began her decent.
From her vantage point on the ledge, Milly could see the endless expanse of bush and forest below. Silver gums, bush grasses, and tall marri trees grew in tightly-packed gatherings. Here and there, clusters of pines dotted the forest. Not native to these area, the shaggy trees seemed to take root wherever they could find soil. The array of trees variegated to form a breathtakingly rugged vista. The landscape below certainly held more appeal than the windswept heathland they’d travelled so far. Milly thought she saw glimpses of water in the distance and wondered if they’d be camping near a lake.
“Okay.” Lucas pulled the rope back up the cliff. “You next.” He turned to Milly.
Milly looked down. Judith nodded up to her. “It’s a piece of cake. You’ll be fine.”
Milly considered herself to be reasonably fit. She tried to get to the gym at least once a week to work out or swim in the pool. Up until recently, she’d managed to go for a run before work sometimes. Nothing major, just fifteen minutes or so. Exercising kept her mind clear, helped her find focus when the memories threatened to swallow her up. Abseiling down a small ledge should be easy, yet her legs were trembling and her breathing laboured.
“Are you okay?” Harper asked, her brows drawn together. “If you can’t manage it, we’ll find another way.” She looked at Lucas for support. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea.” Harper’s tone sounded strained as if her words carried an undercurrent.
“If we head south, we can make our way down. The descent is rocky and steep, but no climbing required.” He shrugged. “We won’t get there before nightfall so we’ll have to make camp up here somewhere.”