by J. D. Griffo
The photo of young Missy was the classic headshot Alberta remembered seeing advertised everywhere at the start of the girl’s career. Her black hair in bangs and cut in a short bob adorned with her signature butterfly barrettes. The photo of old Missy had a different hairstyle, but one Alberta immediately recognized because it was her own. A bob about an inch longer than chin-length, parted on the left, with not a strand of gray among a sea of black. Alberta wondered if Missy used the same hair dye that she did, Clairol’s Shade 2 Blue Black. Wouldn’t that be a coincidence?
Based on the side-by-side photos, Missy still had the round, black eyes, pert nose, and the dimple in her right cheek that helped make her famous. Alberta suspected the current photo had been airbrushed a bit, but not much, because there were wrinkles on Missy’s forehead, lines underneath her eyes, and crow’s feet on their sides. Her neck drooped appropriately for a woman her age, and when Alberta looked further down, she gasped. Not because Missy was showing an inappropriate amount of décolletage for a woman her age, but because she was sporting the same gold crucifix around her neck that Alberta always wore.
“Dio mio,” Alberta said. “Would you look at that?”
They wore the same hairstyle and the same jewelry, so Alberta wondered what else she and the elusive star had in common. Whether or not they shared any other traits or characteristics didn’t matter to Alberta. All she wanted was for the star to arrive so she could see in living flesh the person she had only seen in celluloid.
She looked up at the banner hanging high above the stage and didn’t care if the words weren’t entirely true, she felt in her heart that the message they conveyed was accurate.
Come on home, Missy, Alberta thought, everyone is waiting for you.
CHAPTER 8
È meglio cadere dalla finestra che dal tetto.
An hour later everyone was still waiting.
Alberta sat in a seat in the left section of row K with Helen and Joyce on either side of her and surveyed the theatre. There were people everywhere, but Missy wasn’t one of them.
Jinx, Freddy, and Bruno were standing at the far end of the buffet, which was made up of two long, rectangular tables, each topped with black, vinyl coverings trimmed with comedy and tragedy masks in gold. One end to the other was filled with all the food Alberta had prepared, as well as the pitchers of Red Herrings and six bottles of Dom Perignon, which were Joyce’s surprise contribution so they could toast their special guest in style. If that guest ever arrived.
At the other end of the table stood Vinny, Tambra, and Father Sal, eating and drinking, but definitely showing signs of concern due to the absence of Missy’s presence. On the other side of the aisle from Alberta, and closer to the stage, sat Sloan, who chatted with Luke, still dressed in his medical scrubs because he’d come to the party directly from St. Clare’s, and Wyck, who claimed journalistic privilege as editor in chief of The Herald, and had invited himself to the party. Scattered throughout the theatre were the other members of the cast and some other notables from the town, but the lead of the show couldn’t be found.
“Do you think Missy’s gotten cold feet?” Joyce asked.
“Maybe she’s just used to making a grand entrance,” Alberta replied.
“She’d better not make me wait like this onstage,” Helen said. “We don’t stand for such unprofessional behavior in the theatre.”
“We who?” Alberta asked.
“We, the theatrical community,” Helen answered. “Of which I’m a member.”
Alberta could easily have pointed out that her sister’s membership in the theatrical community was still up for review because she had yet to set foot into the rehearsal room, but she wouldn’t dare. This was her sister’s moment to shine and Alberta wouldn’t say or do anything to extinguish that light. She loved seeing Helen’s eyes twinkle a little brighter and her posture be a bit straighter.
Missy might be the draw to ensure a sold-out audience for the play, but Alberta knew in her heart that by the end of opening night the entire town was going to be talking about Missy’s costar. Then again, if Helen forgot every line and stumbled across the stage like a blind woman in an obstacle course, Alberta and the rest of the family would praise Helen’s performance as if it could rival any role portrayed by Vivien Leigh or Suzanne Pleshette. The former being one of the greatest actresses of all time and the latter being Helen’s favorite. She felt Suzanne did a perfect imitation of her gruff tone.
Looking around the theatre, Alberta noticed that Missy wasn’t the only one who had chosen to make a fashionably late entrance.
“Maybe Missy doesn’t want to arrive before her director,” Alberta said.
Joyce and Helen turned around in their seats and looked at all four corners of the theatre. When they were finished inspecting the area, they realized Alberta was correct. Johnny Fenn, the man who was allegedly steering the ship, was nowhere to be found.
“Where’s my director?” Helen asked.
“Maybe he’s the one picking up Missy and bringing her here,” Joyce suggested.
“If that’s the case, why is Nola pacing up and down the aisle?” Alberta asked.
“And why does she look like she just sat through one of the shows she directed?” Helen observed.
“Also too, if she holds her cell phone any tighter she’s going to crush it,” Joyce added.
“Where are you, Johnny?!” Nola screamed. “And why aren’t you here?!”
Standing in the middle of a theatre and shouting was one way to capture a crowd’s attention. Unfortunately for Nola, it wasn’t the way to elicit a helpful response to her question. All it did was create confusion.
“You don’t know where our director is?” Father Sal asked.
“If I did, do you think I’d be calling him to find out?” Nola replied.
“I assumed he was going to pick up Missy and bring her over with him,” Tambra said.
“Well, you assumed wrong!” Nola shouted.
“Calm down,” Jinx ordered. “There’s no reason to freak out.”
“That’s easy for you to say!” Nola screamed, her voice filled with the unmistakable sound that was made when a person freaked out. “You’re not the one whose reputation is on the line, mine is! I have everything riding on this production and already it’s a disaster!”
“Rehearsals haven’t even begun,” Wyck said. “A show needs to chug along for a little bit before it can be labeled a disaster.”
“You’re not helping, Wyck,” Jinx said.
“Sorry, it’s a side effect of my job,” Wyck explained. “I can’t help but speak the truth.”
“If the truth is all you have to offer, why don’t you keep your mouth shut?” Nola asked.
Jinx had moved from the food table where she had been standing and was now walking down the aisle toward Nola. “Listen to me,” Jinx said, waving her finger. “You are getting yourself all worked up for absolutely no reason. What did you tell me when I said Johnny was rude for always being late when you two had a date?”
“That artists have a different concept of time than regular people,” Nola replied.
Joyce leaned over to whisper into Alberta’s ear. “I’m an artist and I’m always on time.”
Helen leaned over to whisper into Alberta’s other ear. “Tell Joyce that’s because she isn’t a very good artist.”
“Will you two hush and pay attention to Jinx?” Alberta said.
By this point everyone was paying attention to Jinx. They had moved from their positions throughout the theatre and congregated in the aisle that split the audience into two separate sections. Nola and Jinx might not be standing on the stage, but they were captivating their audience nonetheless.
“So why is this situation any different?” Jinx asked.
“Because this is more important than a date!” Nola exclaimed. “This is the theatre!”
“Get your head out of the footlights, Nola,” Jinx said. “I know you love the theatre and you find it therapeuti
c and it’s your way of connecting with your students, but nothing—and hear me loud and clear, Freddy Frangelico—nothing is more important than a date.”
“That’s because you have the best boyfriend in town,” Nola said.
“Dude! Did you hear that loud and clear?” Freddy asked.
“Everybody heard her, Freddy!” Jinx exclaimed without turning around to face her boyfriend. “And you’re right about Freddy, Nola. But if you don’t think Johnny’s a good boyfriend, why are you dating him?”
Nola’s eyes lit up, and Jinx thought she might have finally gotten through to her friend and made her realize she needed to make better decisions when it came to relationships. But Nola wasn’t responding to the words that had come out of Jinx’s mouth, she was responding to the person who had come through the lobby door.
“Because right when I need him the most he shows up,” Nola said. “Like my very own white knight.”
All heads turned to see Johnny looking nervous and walking cautiously down the aisle.
“She does know that he’s wearing a black T-shirt and jeans, right?” Helen asked.
“And that silly baseball cap,” Joyce replied. “To an indoor function to boot.”
“L’occhio vede ciò che vede l’occhio,” Alberta said.
“Looks like her eyes see something different from what the rest of us are seeing,” Sloan replied.
“What do you expect?” Alberta said. “The girl’s in love.”
Which meant she was not entirely in control of her emotions. One moment she was on the verge of swooning, the next she was about to attack. Her adoring expression had abruptly changed into a mask of fury and Johnny only had to look at her to know that if he didn’t offer up an explanation for his late arrival, he was going to be on the receiving end of a very public tongue-lashing.
“I panicked,” he said.
“What are you talking about?” Nola asked. “Why would you panic?”
“Because I’ve never done anything like this before,” Johnny explained.
“You told me you’ve worked in theatre since you were a kid,” Nola replied. “This cannot be the first cast party you’ve ever attended.”
“Of course not,” Johnny said. “But it is the first cast party I’ve ever attended where I’m the director and the leading actress is a legend.”
“Why should it matter if Missy is a celebrity?” Nola asked. “You’re a director, this is what you do.”
“I know that, but on the drive over here all I could think about was that tomorrow I’m going to start directing what will be the most important production of my life because Missy Michaels is the lead,” Johnny said. “And it hit me that this is the first time I’m going to meet her. What if she doesn’t approve of me? What if she thinks I’m a no-talent hack who just got the job because my girlfriend’s the producer?”
Before Helen could reply that no one would blame Missy for thinking that because it was the truth, Alberta gave her sister such an ominous glare that she swallowed her retort and didn’t utter a sound.
Although Helen remained silent, Nola wound up saying exactly what was on Helen’s mind. “No one would blame Missy for thinking that because it’s the truth,” Nola said.
“What?!” Johnny cried.
“You are my boyfriend, I am the producer, and you don’t have a ton of directing experience,” Nola said. “It would be a fair assumption on anyone’s part to think that you got the job because of our personal relationship.”
“If you’re trying to make me feel better, Nola, please stop,” Johnny said, clutching his chest. “Oh my God, I feel another panic attack coming on!”
Nola moved closer to Johnny and grabbed his hands. “Trust me, you can’t worry what other people think about you, you have to believe in yourself,” she said. “I doubt Missy is going to think you’re not up for the job, but if she does, prove her wrong. Show her what I already know.”
“What’s that?” Johnny asked.
“That you’re the best darn director this side of Broadway,” Nola declared. “Missy and the rest of the cast are lucky to have you at the helm.”
Nola threw her arms around Johnny’s neck and kissed him like it was the end of a romantic comedy where the girl finally got her guy. Moved by their emotional embrace, the crowd applauded. The audible recognition reminded Johnny and Nola that they weren’t alone, and the couple quickly parted, wearing identical impish grins.
“I’m sorry, everyone,” Johnny said. “I swear that from here on in, I will be the director you deserve. Someone who is capable, confident, and not intimidated by a cast member. Even if that cast member happens to be Missy Michaels.”
“You shouldn’t be intimated. She’s just like everybody else in this room.”
The entire group thought Missy herself had finally arrived and was responding to Johnny’s public promise, but when they turned around to see the woman standing in front of the lobby entrance, they knew they were wrong. The woman in view was a blonde, carrying a briefcase, and twenty years too young to be the woman they were hoping they would see.
“Donna,” Nola started. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard the commotion on my way out and thought I’d investigate,” she replied. “I forgot you were having a party tonight.”
“Are you going to introduce us to your friend, Nola?” Alberta asked.
“This is Donna Russo,” Nola said. “The new principal of St. Winifred’s Academy.”
Donna looked like a principal. Her thick, curly hair could’ve been unruly, but it had been cut to fall just above her shoulders, so it was manageable. Her five-foot-two frame could’ve appeared diminutive, but her well-tailored pink business suit and black pumps made her appear more powerful than she was. She looked like someone you didn’t want catching you breaking a rule. She sounded like one too.
“Hello, everyone, I didn’t mean to barge in and speak out of turn,” Donna said. “But one of the hallmarks of a good education is a level playing field. No one student should receive a better education than another.”
“Because they all deserve the best,” Johnny said.
“Exactly,” Donna replied. “Likewise, every cast member is a star in their own right and deserves to be treated that way.”
“Thank you,” Johnny said. “It’s good to be reminded of simple truths every now and then.”
“Then my work here is almost done,” Donna replied.
“Almost?” Alberta asked.
“Vinny,” Donna said, “I was going to call you in the morning, but now that I have you, I can ask you in person.”
“You, um, want to ask me something?” Vinny asked.
“Would you mind speaking to the freshman class at an assembly next week?” Donna asked. “About the importance of the police-community dynamic.”
“I’d be delighted,” Vinny responded, looking relieved. “That kind of audience I can handle.”
“Maybe you can wear your old uniform,” Donna said. “A man in blue always cuts such a dashing and authoritative figure.”
“Do you think you can still squeeze into your old uniform?” Father Sal joked.
“I’m sure his uniform will fit splendidly,” Donna said.
Although her tone was far less suggestive than her words, she still managed to quiet the crowd. She might not have been an actress, but she had learned how to command an audience.
“I’ll call your office on Monday to confirm a date,” Donna said. “And with that, good ladies and gentlemen of the theatre, I bid you anon.”
When no one returned the deep bow she offered them, she stood with one hand on her hip and used a thick, New Jersey accent to deliver her next line. “That was Shakespeare, ya numbskulls. I thought you thee-a-tuh people had class.”
Laughter and applause followed Donna as she left the room but was quickly drowned out when Nola let out a scream. “Where’s my leading man?!”
Once again, all heads turned and looked around the theatre, but Kip Flani
gan couldn’t be found.
“First my director is late, now my leading man isn’t here,” Nola cried.
“Hold on,” Bruno shouted. “Kip sent me a few texts, but in all the commotion I didn’t hear my phone.”
“What did he say?” Nola asked. “Is he sick? Was he in an accident?”
“He’s lost,” Bruno replied.
“Does he need a police escort?” Tambra asked.
“I’m here!” Kip projected his voice so loudly and at such a high pitch, it sounded like a police siren. “I’m sorry! You should all know right now that I have the worst sense of direction in the entire world. I know my way around a stage like the back of my hand, but put me in a new town and I get lost going around the corner.”
“Don’t worry, Kip,” Nola said, much calmer now that he had arrived. “The party hasn’t officially begun yet.”
“Good,” Kip replied. “Where’s Miss Michaels so I can say a proper hello?”
“She’s the reason the party hasn’t officially started yet,” Bruno said. “We’re still waiting for her.”
After another fifteen minutes of waiting the mood shifted from mildly worried to greatly concerned.
“This is ridiculous,” Vinny announced. “I’m going to the Tranquility Arms right now to bring Missy over here.”
“Please don’t, Mr. D’Angelo,” Nola said. “Missy said that she preferred to make a grand entrance and come on her own.”
“Once a star, always a star,” Sal declared.
“The hotel is only a block away, so I didn’t think it would be a problem,” Nola said.
“Clearly it’s become a problem,” Vinny corrected. “Let me go over there and get her.”
“She might feel slighted if you barge on over there,” Alberta said. “A woman of her stature is used to getting her own way.”
“We can’t wait all night, what if something’s wrong?” Jinx said.