Not two seconds later my cell buzzed with a reply.
Marcus: It’s me. I told her this morning I’d be home early.
I could almost hear his unspoken words that he could have tacked on the end. She forgot.
“It’s Marcus,” I told Miriam as I looked back at the screen.
Her blue eyes were glazed over, a confused frown marring her forehead as she stared at the screen in a daze. It was like a light had suddenly turned on and she was able to see clearly once again.
“El?”
“It’s me, Miriam.” I flashed her a small smile as my heartbeat slowed down.
“What...I…” Her huff was audible. “I don’t know—”
“Hey.” I moved closer to the screen, wishing I could wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything would be all right. “It’s okay. Marcus has come home early.” I heard a door slam through the line. “It was just a moment.”
She shook her head and squeezed her eyes closed, almost as if she was trying to erase the last few minutes of her life, but she couldn’t. She knew this was happening more and more, and there was nothing any of us could do to stop it.
“I’ll come down this weekend,” I stated, knowing it could possibly be the last time I saw her before going back to LA—if I decided to go. I was ninety percent sure I was going, but it was times like this that made me realize I had people who depended on me, who needed me to be there.
“Okay,” she whispered, her head turning as Marcus called her name. “I better…”
“Go,” I finished for her. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Okay?”
“Okay.” She grasped the chain around her neck. It was a one-year anniversary present from Marcus over thirty years ago. “Sorry, honey.”
I waved my hand in the air, trying to make out like it didn’t matter because I wouldn’t admit that these calls scared the bejesus out of me. The screen went blank, and for several minutes, all I could do was stare at it.
Growing up, all I’d had was my mom and Vi, and even though what Chad and I were doing was pretending, there was no denying that he and his family had become my family too. I couldn’t just walk away from them.
What the hell had I been thinking to go to LA? I couldn’t leave, she needed me right now. I couldn’t abandon her.
“Baby girl?”
I gasped and darted from my desk, the chair banging into the wall behind me. “Jesus, Chad! You can’t scare a girl like that! You want my ovaries to fall out of my vagina or something?”
He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscles tensing from the action as he leaned against the doorframe to my bedroom. “What’s going on?”
“I…” Did I tell him what just happened with his mom? How long had he been standing there? Maybe he was there all along? “How long have you—”
“Ma forgot again, didn’t she?”
I bit down on my bottom lip and stepped back so I could drop my body into my chair. I knew it was harder for him because he was actually her son, but he didn’t have to answer her calls when she was having an episode. All he saw was the trailer whereas I saw the whole movie.
“Yeah.” I curled my fingers into my palm, relishing in the bite of pain my nails caused. “I’ve decided not to go to LA.”
“Because of Ma?” He pushed off the doorframe, walked into my room, and sat on the edge of the perfectly made bed complete with throw pillows. I wondered if they were called that because you literally threw them off the bed at night so you could get under the covers?
“She needs me…she’s… She’s getting worse.”
Chad shook his head, the movement fierce as a muscle in his jaw jumped. “I’m not gonna let you do this.” He pulled his cell out.
“What—”
He held his palm up to me as he spoke to someone on the other end of the cell. “When did you say Vi was going home to pack up her apartment?” There was a pause, and then Chad moved his attention to me and winked. “I need a favor, big bro.”
“You sure this is okay?” I asked Axel who was sitting next to his driver in the front of his car.
He turned his head, just enough to catch my eyes. “Sure. I’m going to go home with Chad while Vi is in LA with you.”
I nodded, knowing that what Miriam needed right now was both of her sons there with her so they could tackle what was happening as a family. But that didn’t mean I could stop the feeling rolling through me. She was expecting me to be there tomorrow. What if this was the one time that she remembered what was said to her and she got upset?
“El,” Vi’s hand landed on my thigh, “it’s all good. You can help me pack up my apartment while they check on their ma, and then you can start your new job.”
I swallowed. “Yeah, but…” I threw my hands up in the air. “What if the students hate me? I told you what happened in that talk!” Chad snickered, and Axel coughed to cover a laugh. “It’s not funny! Kids are so freakin' mean.”
“I’m sure you can handle them.” Vi grinned. “If not, then give them all F’s.”
A slow but evil grin worked its way over my face. “Now that, Vi, is a genius plan!” I threw my head back and cackled an evil laugh.
“I come up with them sometimes,” she told me. “Plans I mean.”
I shook my head, my gaze catching the drop-off terminal as we made our way through the airport parking lots.
Chad had calmed all my nerves last night after he called Axel. He was right, this was my opportunity to expand myself as a business. If I got this under my belt, only good things could come from it. It wasn’t that I wanted to be a teacher or lecturer, but doing it for a year would open more doors for me, and then I could come back to New York and continue on with my life.
Chad’s words, not mine.
But I wasn’t so sure I’d return the same person I was right then. What if things changed? What if I changed? So many things could happen in a year...in a month...in a week. No one knew what was to come, but that was okay because knowing was boring. I always imagined that there was something right around the corner waiting for me. I’d probably find out what it was if I went outside more.
The car came to a halt, and we all piled out. I couldn’t look at Chad as he and Axel pulled my suitcases out of the trunk. “It’s gonna be an adventure,” his gruff voice said as he moved closer.
“An adventure,” I whispered. I wasn’t this person. I was the kind of woman who would say something highly inappropriate to cut through the tension or sadness, but apparently, my brain wasn’t functioning right now—the bish.
“I can’t imagine even being here without you for even one day,” he murmured, and my head shot up, my eyes wide. Did he just quote Dirty Dancing to me? He’d watched it probably half the amount of times that I had, but as it was a weekly movie in our apartment, he’d clocked up the hours, so I wasn’t surprised he knew the words by heart.
Oh god, the tears were trying to make their way to the front of my eyeballs. I had to refuse them entry because I couldn’t handle it. If I let even one slip, there’d be a tidal wave of epic proportions.
I flashed him a shaky smile. “Just think, you’ll have more time for horseshoes and croquette.”
He laughed as he stepped forward, his tallness overwhelming me but had me basking in its safety. His hands cupped either side of my jaw, his fingertips whispering softly over my skin. “I’ll never be sorry.”
His sandalwood cologne wrapped around me as I stared into his blue eyes. “Neither will I.”
He dipped his head closer, and I knew his lips would press against mine any second. It wasn’t the first time we’d kissed, but it didn’t mean what Vi and Axel thought it did. It was nothing but a friendly kiss, but when his soft lips pressed against mine, something inside told me that we were saying more than goodbye to me leaving New York for a while. It felt like so much more than that, but neither of us would admit it right now.
Chad pulled back and rested his forehead against mine, his fingers clenched on my face, silently te
lling me he didn’t want to let go. The tears threatened to let loose, so I closed my eyes, but all too quickly he let go.
He took several steps away, not moving his gaze off my eyes as he murmured, “I’ll see ya,” and spun around. I watched him get into the car, not looking back once.
Chapter 5
Confession #4: I asked a woman who’s husband is in a band if he’s still playing around… In a salon full of people. Oops?
There were perks to being involved with the Taylor brothers, and one of those was traveling first class. That included seats you could lie down in, and copious amounts of champagne. To say I’d had my share would be an understatement. I’d had Vi’s, and another five people’s.
But who the hell cared?
I’d gone inside my own head, and I knew how dangerous that could be. I became a sad little alien who craved penis and chocolate—at the same time. So being surrounded by silence with nothing to keep me occupied was a very bad thing.
My entire life was changing, and I had no idea how to deal with that fact. What if I came back from LA in a few months and Chad had found the love if his life? Where did that leave me? I gasped. What if I liked it in LA? How would everyone deal with that? Would they hate me or would they accept it? What about Miriam? What if something happened to her?
Maybe I shouldn’t have done this. Maybe I should have stayed where I was and kept plodding along in my own little bubble.
Looking over at Vi as she slept, I tried to decide whether to wake her so I could offload all my worries. She’d always been my sounding board, and right now, I needed that more than anything. I stood, maneuvered over to her, and prodded her in the arm, watching her face for any signs she was waking up and shuffled closer, looking left and right. The whole first-class part of the airplane was asleep.
“Whoa!” I windmilled my arms, grabbing onto the top of the pod thing that Vi was sleeping in and cut a look at the stewardess. Could she not warn a girl that the airwaves were coming? Jeez.
“Vi,” I whisper-shouted, prodding her again and earning me a grunt in response. “Wake up.”
“Go away,” she groaned out, trying to roll over but ended up smacking her face off the side of the pod. I tried to hold in the chuckle, but it escaped without warning. Klutz was too small of a word for her.
Seeing a couple of inches of space on the edge of her pod bed, I sat my ass on it, moving my hip into her so she shuffled over. “I’m bored,” I told her, biting my bottom lip.
“So watch a movie then,” she replied, opening her eyes and raising a brow.
“They’re boring movies.”
She closed her eyes and pushed her ass against me, pushing me off the pod. “Well, I’m sleeping. Leave me alone.”
“Ugh!” I narrowed my eyes at her, not that she could see. “We’re meant to be having some quality Vi and Ella time, and you’re asleep.”
She huffed out a breath and turned to face me. “Axel kept me up all night,” she said, finishing with a yawn.
I wrinkled my nose in disgust. “I don’t wanna know about all the sex you’re having.” Bitch.
Her head reeled back. Shit...did I say bitch out loud?
Her gaze didn’t veer from me as she stared, her lashes fluttering with each fast blink. She used to do the exact same look when we were teenagers and she didn’t know how to respond.
We were raised so differently. Vi living in that giant house while I was in that tiny one on the other side of town. Her mom and dad were physically present, but she may as well not have had them in her life. We were both content with leaning on my mom through the years. But that all changed senior year of high school. Mom had a secret too…one no one ever saw coming. Now she lived on a ship sailing to different islands to search for…I had no idea what. I liked to think of her as one of those pirates in that movie with Jonny Depp. Neither of us had seen her since she left the country the day I turned eighteen.
And now I’m heading to the place I escaped from, but this time with another life-changing event happening to me. Maybe I was destined to be alone? Maybe that was why I didn’t like the outside world? I could feel lots of cats in my future.
“You know what?” I took a step away, the alcohol draining from my system at lightning speeds. “Just go back to sleep, Vi.” I waved my arm. “We land in a few hours.”
Spinning around, I headed to my seat, wincing as my boob hit someone else’s pod. Goddamn women’s problems, am I right? Flopping back down into my seat/pod thing, I stared at the screen of the small TV screen, wishing Chad was here. He’d know just what to say to distract me from my thoughts.
“You lived above a Chinese takeout?” I asked, gasping with wide eyes. “Why did you never tell me this?”
Vi laughed, hauling her suitcase through the door next to the shop. “Because I knew you’d want to come visit, and then I’d have a constant headache from all your rambling.”
I made a fist with my hand, pretend stabbing myself in the stomach. “You wound me, oh-favorite-cousin of mine.”
She shook her head but smiled when she focused on me and held the door open. “We can go down and talk to Mr. Chung later.”
“And get food too, right?” I stared at her hopefully, not daring to move until she nodded, and when she did, I skipped into the building. “I don’t know how you didn’t end up as big as a house living here.”
“Not without great difficulty.”
She grabbed the handle of her suitcase, took a deep breath to prepare herself, and started to yank it up the stairs backward. I watched her, waiting for her to fall, and when she made it halfway up and did exactly that, I couldn’t help chuckling under my breath.
“Need a hand?”
“Nope.” She swiped her arm over her forehead. “I’m good…just…” She looked up at the top of the stairs. “This may take a while.”
Gripping my suitcase, I walked up, taking hold of the bottom of hers and telling her to lift it. She did, and we made it to the top within seconds. I followed Vi past a couple doors until she came to a halt, opened one of them up, and strolled inside.
“Wow.” My gaze traveled the small room, taking everything in. It was small and quirky. Perfect for Vi. “You kept them alive then.” I pointed to the few houseplants on the windowsill, surprised she’d managed to not kill them like she normally would have.
“Yep.” She dropped her suitcase in the middle of the room. “Want some water?”
I stared at her suitcase like it had eight heads and was about to attack me. Was she seriously just going to leave it sitting there like part of the furniture? And that was when I took a closer look at the apartment. There were clothes strung around everywhere, empty chip bags sitting on the small table in front of the sofa, and was that…
Was that a half-eaten sandwich?
She’d been in New York for a couple of weeks now. How the hell could she leave her apartment like this for that long? “Oh god.” I stumbled back, feeling the blood drain from my face as my stomach gurgled.
“I’ll clean it up, El. I’ll just…”
My wide-eyed gaze swung to Vi. I didn’t acknowledge her as I stumbled past and headed to the kitchen sink. Two hours, two bottles of bleach, and three bags of trash later, and the place was spotless. Tidy house, tidy mind. I lived by that rule, even though my brain was a total jumble right now.
Throwing myself down on the pristine clean sofa, I relished in the cushions that swallowed me as Vi stood.
“Want to meet Mr. Chung?”
I blew out a breath, tiredness starting to settle in. Maybe I should have slept on the flight like Vi did. “You go get the food, I’m gonna jump in the shower.”
Standing up was difficult, but I managed it as she left. Once all the dirt and grime were off my skin along with the airplane germs, I felt much better. I stood staring at myself in the mirror over the sink, taking in my hazel eyes and wet, faded blue hair. Maybe it was time for a change? Maybe a new look was in order to go with my new life here. Even if it wa
s just for a few months. God, it felt so weird to be back here knowing it wasn’t just a fly-in visit like last time.
The apartment door slammed shut, and knuckles rapped on the bathroom door. “Food!”
Backing away from the mirror, I counted to three and told myself that this would be an opportunity. That everything would work out just the way it should. I should embrace this and not stress out and end up giving myself a stomach ulcer.
I spun and opened the door, taking a deep breath and moaning as the aroma of noodles and beef wrapped around me like the softest blanket known to man. “My stomach loves you right now.”
Vi laughed as I sat next to her. “I bet it does.”
Opening all the boxes, I was practically salivating as Vi handed me some chopsticks, her lips spread into a bright smile. I could tell she was trying to gauge what my mood was, and when she opened her mouth, I dreaded what was going to come out of it.
“You doing okay, El? Something feels…off with you.”
I pushed my chopsticks into the box and shoved noodles into my mouth. “Me?” I looked up at her. “I’m good. Are you? You’re leaving LA for good.”
She shrugged, digging into her own food. “I’m gonna miss the people who have become my family, but this will mean we can finally live in the same city again.” She paused. “If you come back I mean.” I opened my mouth, but she cut me off. “And don’t feel like you have to return to New York because of me...or Chad. This opportunity is too good to pass up. Even Axel has said that to you. It could be the start of something you never planned for.”
“Unplanned things are not what was on my list of things to do this year.”
She placed her small hand on my arm and rubbed back and forth. “I know. But those are normally the best. It’s the things you never imagined would happen that become the most important.”
I swallowed and twirled my chopsticks in my noodles. Maybe she was right. I needed to stop overthinking, but damn, it was so hard to do that.
Confessions Of A Chatterbox (Confessions Series Book 2) Page 5