“Wow.” He stared at me, and if he was Superman, I was sure lasers would be cutting me to pieces right now. “Why don’t you say how you really feel? Or better yet, go ask your college fuck what he thinks.”
“Here’s an idea.” I gripped the handle of my suitcase. “Why don’t you just fuck off?”
I walked down the hall and into my room, my emotions all over the place. How dare he talk about me and JJ like that. I should rip his face off with my bare hands. Doucheturd.
My body sagged against the door, and I closed my eyes, trying to get control of myself.
That went well. Not.
I checked my cell for what felt like the thousandth time on the way to the Hamptons the next day. Chad sat next to me, typing away on his while Axel and Vi sat in the front of his car. The tension rolling between us was palpable, and if the worried looks they kept sending our way were anything to go by, Vi and Axel could sense it.
JJ wasn’t responding to any of my texts. It was Saturday, and he’d be working, but I was starting to worry. I’d told him I’d call him last night, but after that argument with Chad, I couldn’t do anything but sleep. I was the kind of person who got ridiculously tired when I was angry. It did not serve me well at all.
“You enjoying LA then, Ella?” Axel asked.
“She’s more than enjoying it,” Chad murmured, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead with the way I was staring at him.
“I am.” I smiled wide when Vi turned to face me, concern written all over her face.
“What’s it like teaching the students?” Vi asked.
Could this conversation be any more wooden than it was right now? We could all sense that something was off, so we were filling it with all this bullshit and I’d had enough. I didn’t want to cross a line and make Chad tell his brother that he was gay, but I couldn’t sit here and lie. I had to get out of this car so I could be alone. I never should have come back. I should have said I couldn’t make the party and then none of this would be happening.
I glanced down at my cell and huffed out a breath when the message still hadn’t been read. Why the hell wasn’t JJ answering my messages?
“Awww, is Lover Boy not answering you?” Chad asked, pouting and probably thinking he was being cute. He was far from it. All I could see right now was his ugly personality that I hadn’t known was there rearing its head. How could he act like that after everything?
My nostrils flared as I vaulted my cell right at his head. “You’re such a dick!”
“Ow! Fuck. Shit. What the hell are you doing?” Chad covered his forehead with his hand, rubbing at the spot. “Why are you so violent?”
“Because you’re a dick! Why can’t you just be happy for me? Why do you have to do that?”
Chad’s gaze flicked to Axel in warning, but I didn’t give a fuck right now. He was being the most hugest prick in the existence of pricks, and he needed to fucking stop already. “Can you keep your goddamn voice down?” he growled, the menace clear as day.
“Chad,” Axel warned. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
My head reeled back. Did Axel just stick up for me? And why was he pulling over on the side of the road? We had another fifteen minutes before we would make it to the house.
“What?” Chad leaned forward. “Talk to her like what?”
Axel ignored him, opened his door, and got out of the car. Both Chad and I watched as he walked around to Vi’s door and opened it, extending his hand to her.
“Both of you out. Now.”
I scrambled to get out of the car and followed Vi and Axel into a small field that was sitting next to the road, wondering what the hell was going on. It felt too horror movie-esque right about now for my liking.
“What are you doing?” Chad asked Axel, and even though I was spitting mad at him, I was glad he’d asked that question.
“You two,” Axel pointed between the two of us, “need to sort out whatever is going on because neither of you is going to Ma and Dad’s party like this.”
“It’s not me.” I pointed at my chest and then turned my finger on Chad. “It’s him.”
Axel pinched the bridge of his nose and let out an audible huff. “I know.”
“You...know?” I frowned and darted my gaze to Vi who was looking down at her shoes like they held the most fascinating of stories. “Vi! You told him?”
She looked up but couldn’t meet my eyes as she shifted closer to Axel.
“She told me.”
“Oh my god! You’re the worst secret keeper ever!”
“I’m sorry!” Her lips turned down. “I’m so bad at keeping them. Axel knew something was wrong and he pulled it out of me—”
“Now, let’s be honest,” Axel started, his lips pulling up. “I asked how your day had gone and you practically blurted it out.’”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I should have known she’d end up telling someone, but maybe subconsciously I wanted her to tell him because the likelihood of Chad coming clean was close to nothing.
“What exactly did she tell you?” Chad asked, his face pale. No matter how mad I was at him, I saw the fear in his eyes.
“You’re gay.” Axel held up his hand. “Which I was pretty sure of anyway.”
“What?”
“It’s only because of El that I stopped wondering. You do realize that it doesn’t matter, right? You didn’t have to do all of this because you were afraid. I love you just the same.”
“I—”
“But you don’t need to treat El the way you’ve been treating her. If she’s found someone she likes, let her be. Don’t be a fucking dick about it. Look at how much she’s done for you, and you’re stewing in the back of my car like a teenage boy who just got dumped. Grow the fuck up.”
We all stood staring at Axel, and I had to wonder if he knew more than he was letting on. How did he know all of this? Because I hadn’t told Vi much at all knowing how bad she was at keeping her mouth shut.
“Now,” Axel adjusted the sleeves of his jacket, “we’re all going to get into this car and drive to Ma and Dad’s. We’re going to celebrate their anniversary with them, and then tomorrow, you’re going to be honest.”
“No, I can’t tell them.” Chad shook his head and stepped back.
“You can and you will.” Axel matched him step for step. “If you’re big and bad enough to do what you’re doing, then you can at least tell them.”
I wanted to dive in and defend Chad. He was my best friend, and I didn’t want him to get hurt, but maybe this was what he needed? Maybe he needed someone to give him some tough love instead of pandering to his worries and helping him keep things hush-hush.
“Are we ready?” Axel asked, but he didn’t wait for an answer as he grabbed hold of Vi’s hand and sauntered back to the car.
I let my head drop down and followed after them, feeling like this was all my fault but not able to be sorry for it. JJ was worth it.
I knew he was.
Chapter 18
Confession #39: I either look like a hobo or a queen. There is no in between.
“The last thirty years have been the best of my life.” Marcus stood in front of the fireplace in the living room of his home, surrounded by two hundred family and friends, a look of pure love on his face. I wondered if I had that expression when I stared at JJ? “We’ve had our ups and downs, like any other couple, but came out the other side.” He glanced down at Miriam who was standing next to him. “I love you more and more every day if that’s even possible.” He lowered his face and placed his lips against hers.
A round of cheers rang out, and I glanced around the room. We’d made it here about thirty minutes ago and I had yet to talk to Miriam or Marcus. They were too consumed with greeting Axel and Chad to notice me standing farther back behind them being a complete wuss.
I felt like a traitor being here, and that had never happened before. We’d fooled everyone for two years with our relationship, and all I’d ever thought about was Ch
ad coming clean. It never occurred to me that I’d be in the firing line too.
Chad was standing to the side next to Axel, watching his parents as they separated and raised their glasses along with everyone else, but I just wasn’t in the party mood. My messages to JJ were still going unanswered, and I itched for the time to go by quicker.
I made myself busy, greeting some of Chad’s friends as I made my way into the kitchen where the caterers were. I’d be able to hide away in here and then come back out when everyone started to leave. I hadn’t thought twice about where I would sleep tonight until I’d walked through the front door, but now I couldn’t get out of my head that I’d have to share a bed with Chad.
“Baby girl.”
I closed my eyes and let my head fall back at the vibration of Chad’s voice. I didn’t want to do this here, not in front all of these people on Miriam and Marcus' special night. “Not now, Chad,” I murmured, not looking at him.
“Please,” he begged, his hand gripping onto my bicep to stop me from moving away from him. “I just want to apologize.”
I raised a brow and turned, not believing what he’d just said. “You want to apologize?”
“Yeah.” He ran his hand over his jaw, and a stupid smile pulled at my lips at the sight of his beard. It seriously looked like peach fuzz on his face. “I knew it was coming, so I shouldn’t have acted like that.”
“You knew?”
“Yeah. I mean not fully.” His blue eyes focused on me. “I could feel you pulling away and thought it might be because of a guy, but I never thought...I…” He huffed out a breath. “I can’t keep expecting you to put your life on hold for me. You’ve done more than anyone else ever would, and I love you for that, but you’re right.”
“I usually am,” I inserted, grinning at him.
“Be careful of that big head.” He pointed at my face and lowered his arm. “I seriously am sorry, and I want to hear all about this guy that’s stolen your heart.”
I bit down on my bottom lip. “You do?”
“Hell yeah, baby girl.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. “I really am sorry, and I’m going to tell Ma and Dad tonight after the party.”
I looked around. “You could wait until tomorrow.”
“Nah.” He shook his head and audibly swallowed. “I need to do it before I lose the nerve.”
“I can help.”
Chad placed a kiss on my cheek, let me go, and stepped back. “No, I need to do this on my own.” He waved at someone in a waiter’s uniform and told them, “Go get a bottle of tequila. This girl here needs alcohol. She’s celebrating.”
The waiter spun around and practically ran out of the room to retrieve it.
“Not that I ever say no to tequila, but what am I celebrating?”
“Having sex, obvs.” He rolled his eyes.
I slapped his bicep and threw my head back on a laugh. “You’re such a dick.”
“I know, baby girl.” The waiter handed him a bottle and two shot glasses. “But you still love me.”
“Unfortunately.”
He lined the glasses up on the counter, poured two shots and handed one to me. “To love, and being honest even when you want to crap your pants.”
“That’s one hell of a salud.”
“I know. I’m awesome at them,” he said, bringing the glass to his lips and downing the shot.
I followed suit, and no sooner had the tangy, sharp liquid burned down my throat, he was spinning around and leaving me on my own.
My heart felt lighter having talked to him and cleared the air, but my cell was still burning a hole in the pocket of my jumpsuit. I lost count of the number of times I’d checked it to see if JJ had replied. I knew I was being antisocial by locking myself away in here, so I took another shot for good luck and ambled back into the main room where the party was taking place. There was nothing quite like observing a bunch of middle-aged men and women rocking out to songs from the eighties. They were having the times of their lives, and I had great fun people watching.
These people were some of the richest in the state, but get them drunk and they became like everyone else, letting loose and not caring that their perfectly styled hair had fallen loose and their makeup on their faces was starting to slide off.
“It’s happening,” a voice murmured from beside me, and when I turned my head, I spotted Vi.
“Huh?”
She signaled over to the other side of the room, so I turned my attention there. Chad and Axel were following Marcus and Miriam out of the room.
“Oh shit. Maybe I should go and help hi—”
“No.” Vi latched onto my arm, halting my movements. The woman had strength when she wanted to. “He needs to do this on his own. You’ve been his crutch for too long.” She was right, but that didn’t stop me from watching the door like a crazy person. “Come on. I haven’t been drunk since I broke my collarbone. Let’s go get wasted.”
I raised a brow. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
She shrugged. “Meh. We’re not going anywhere, and we have Axel to save me if I get injured. I need me some alcohol and Ella time. I missed you.”
I linked my arm through hers and led her toward the kitchen where I’d left the bottle of tequila. This was about to get messy. “I missed you too,” I told her.
“Sure,” she huffed. “You missed me so much while you were sexing it up with JJ.”
I raised my brows. “Oh...you went there.”
She stuck her tongue out at me and pulled her arm from between mine when we stopped next to the counter and the tequila. “Yes, I went there.” She pointed at me. “You have a lot of gossip to fill me in with, and it starts right now.”
I huffed out a slow breath and poured two shots. “Fine. What do you want to know?”
She looked up at the ceiling, tapping her finger on her chin. “Everything.”
Considering Vi and I had put away half a bottle of tequila between us, I was feeling pretty okay this morning. My head was clear, my stomach wasn’t revolting at the smell of bacon cooking, and I had a pep in my step.
I woke up in a bed on my own in the usual room Chad and I used when we stayed over, and hopped into the shower. After the water washed away the alcohol I’d sweated out during the night, I felt even better about myself.
That was until I walked into the kitchen and spotted Miriam sitting at the table with her hands around a cup of coffee. Her head snapped up at the squeak of the door opening, her eyes zoning in on me, clearer than I’d seen them in months.
“Good morning, El.”
“Morning,” I whispered, sitting in a chair opposite her. “It was a great party last night.”
Her lips quirked. “It was, especially when you and Vi decided to show us all the dance you made up when you were ten years old.”
My eyes widened, and my body jerked back. “We what?”
She laughed just as the door opened and Axel appeared with Chad behind him. “I was just telling El about her dancing,” Miriam said to them, which in turn had them both grinning.
“Serves us right for leaving them unattended for fifteen minutes,” Axel grunted, though his eyes were shining bright.
I circled my fingers into my temples. “And here I thought I’d done well because I didn’t have a hangover.”
“Ahhh,” Chad said as he pulled out the chair beside me. “That’ll be Ma’s hangover cure she made you drink before you went to bed.”
“Really?” I flicked my gaze to her. “You have a hangover cure that actually works?”
“Honey.” She leaned forward. “I was the life of the party when I was your age. I knew just what to do so that I could still go to work on a Monday morning.”
I chuckled and shook my head as a plate of bacon was placed in the middle of the table. Marcus always cooked breakfast, it was some kind of tradition they had, and I’d be honest, nothing beat Marcus' bacon. Nothing.
“So,” Marcus said as he sat at the hea
d of the table. “Should we talk about what happened last night?”
“I already told her about dancing,” Miriam said, reaching for the bacon and putting three pieces on her plate.
“No. Not that.” His gaze flicked over to the door as Vi walked into the room, her hair sticking up everywhere with her glasses on her face.
“Morning,” she croaked.
I smirked over at her, and when she looked at me, I winked. “How do you feel?” I asked.
“Surprisingly okay. I don’t know how that happened, but I’m okay with it.”
“It was Miriam. Turns out she’s a party girl and knows all the tricks.” I pulled some bacon onto my plate and took a bite, closing my eyes as the salty sweetness exploded on my tongue. “Maybe we should take her partying with us next time.”
“I love to party!” Miriam shouted, her face lighting up like the Fourth of July.
“Honey.” Marcus placed his hand over hers, a serious expression crossing his features. “I think we should all talk about Chad—”
“Being gay?” Chad asked.
The room became silent, and I glanced down at my plate. For a few blissful minutes I’d forgotten all about what had happened last night before we got drunk, but now it was out there, it all came back full force.
“We just wanted to say,” Marcus cleared his throat, “that even though you’re not with Chad now, El, you’re still a part of this family.”
I looked up through my lashes at him. “I am?”
He smiled, looking so much like his sons that it was unnerving. “Yes.”
“I want you to know how sorry—” The doorbell ringing cut me off.
Chad pushed out of his seat and said, “I’ll get it.” I stared at his back as he walked out of the room, and for the first time noticed the pep in his step. Maybe he felt lighter now that everyone knew the real him. There was power in honesty, and I was realizing that more and more.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Miriam said, reaching her arm over the table. “You’re practically my best friend with the amount I talk to you, and I really hope that doesn’t change.”
Confessions Of A Chatterbox (Confessions Series Book 2) Page 18