“Right. You know what your choice is. Will you join us or…”
“I’ll never join you spawn of Satan!” the girl screamed.
The vampire looked up at her. There was no emotion betrayed on his face. He did glance at the cross necklace that dangled between the girls rather impressive breasts. I might have been distracted by those if there weren’t so many horrors surrounding me. And if I wasn’t still dealing with the horror of losing my wife.
“Odd for someone to get religious now considering some of the things you were doing up there on the dance floor. To the stocks with you,” he said.
The girl screamed even louder and looked at the wall with hooks. Maybe she hadn’t thought this through, or maybe she really did think death was better than being turned into a vampire, no matter how painful that death was. Maybe she was expecting her creator to pull a last minute hail Mary, pardon the pun.
That seemed like my cue.
I’d gotten here too late to help the poor assholes already up on that wall of horrors, but I could do something to help the rest of the kids still waiting in line.
“Hey asshole,” I said in a loud clear voice that rang out through the room of horrors and blessedly brought the wretched moaning to a stop for a moment.
Everyone turned to look at me. The bored vampire bureaucrat betrayed his first emotion of the night. His eyes went wide and his mouth worked.
I grinned. It was nice to be recognized. Almost as nice as the fun I was about to have with this asshole.
Nobody fucked with college kids in my town and got away with it.
I had the pleasure of watching the vampire running this whole shindig looking really pissed off and worried. Obviously he wasn’t expecting to ever see me again.
“What are you doing down here?” he shrieked.
I put a finger to my ear and rubbed it. The ringing wasn’t going to go away any time soon. Not that it bothered me all that much. After some of the heavy guns I’d been around playing in the sandbox my ears pretty much rang with a constant low grade middle C, but that didn’t mean I appreciated this vampire adding an E flat to the mix.
“Well I’d say I’m down here to kick your ass,” I said. “Just like I’ve kicked the asses of everyone else who’s come at me.”
I didn’t bother to wait. I figured the vamp would do something to try and stop me, and I had the element of surprise. It wouldn’t do for me to give that up.
Not more than I already had, at least. The momentary distraction had saved the girl with the impressive rack and the crucifix nestled between in a way I’m sure the almighty wouldn’t approve of if he did exist and turned out to be as much of a prude as his people seemed to think he was.
I took the stairs two at a time. There were two vampire security types waiting for me at the bottom, but they looked like college kids who’d been recently turned rather than the beefy fighting guys they had on point up at the entrance.
Not that it mattered. They went down just as easy as the guys up top.
“Sorry about this,” I shouted as I pulled stakes out of my bandolier and two fisted them into the vamp guards.
I looked around and tried to come up with a plan. It wouldn’t do to send the kids being held down here back up the way I came. There was a whole nightclub full of vampires waiting to snack on them up there and they’d be running single file up those stairs to their deaths.
I looked through the crowd. The kids stared in disbelief. None moved. Typical, but probably a good thing. The last thing I needed was a panic and a stampede.
I searched for the meanest looking vampire motherfucker in the room. I wanted to make a statement with this, and I figured that meant taking out one of the nasty dudes. I’d take care of my old middle management friend clutching his laptop after I took out his muscle.
I scanned the faces of mostly college looking bloodsuckers and finally settled on one who had the look. It was a look I could only describe as the look of someone who’s seen some shit. He was older than his years. Wilier. Trying to hide amongst the lesser vampires. He had the sort of look I’d seen on some of my friends coming back from overseas.
Yeah, that was the one I was looking for. I grinned and advanced on the bloodsucking motherfucker.
The vamp realized I was heading for him and took a step back, but it wasn’t the step back of someone who was going to run. He was bracing himself, but I was on him before he could do much more than that.
That didn’t stop the guy from trying to swing at me, but I made quick work of that with a couple of kicks to the guy’s knees. He fell to the ground wailing in pain and terror, and when he looked up there was more fear than terror in that look.
“What the fuck man?”
I leaned down and picked up one of my stakes. The floor was concrete and these stakes were mostly improvised from lumber I had sitting around from remodeling the house when we moved in, but I figured it might work.
I slammed one down into the vampire’s shoulder and it deflected off the concrete floor. I did the same with a second stake. I didn’t want to ruin my good knife by introducing it to concrete in such an uncivilized fashion, after all.
I leaned down close to the vampire. I figured I had a little time. No one else was making a move to attack. None of his lackeys seemed all that interested in taking me on.
It was about fucking time these vampires started to realize they shouldn’t fuck with me. It was also too little too late to save the bastards, but whatever.
“There’s a second exit to this place,” I said. “You’re going to tell me where it is and whether or not there are any vampires waiting on the other side.”
“What the fuck are you…”
I reached over my shoulders and pulled out my trusty bat. Slammed it into the kneecaps that had already been busted by my kicks . Heard a wet breaking noise and knew I’d done some damage. Damage that would be repaired soon enough, assuming a hypothetical world where I wasn’t going to kill this asshole when I was done with him.
“There’s an exit on the other side of the podium!” he screamed. “It leads out. They might have guards posted out there. I don’t know!”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Are you going to…”
I looked down and grinned. “Kill you now? Yup!”
The vamp’s eyes went wide, but they didn’t stay that way for long. I figured it would be pretty difficult to maintain any sort of expression for long when your eyes were turning to dust, and that’s exactly what happened when I slammed a stake down into the vampire’s chest.
I didn’t bother picking up any of my stakes. They’d been blunted by their rapid introduction to the concrete floor and wouldn’t be much use to me unless I whittled them back to a point. Talk about things I didn’t have time for right now.
I looked up to the college kids still waiting in line to be “chosen.”
“Anyone out there want to get some revenge on these bloodsucking assholes?”
To my surprise the girl with the cross, I wasn’t going to think of those other assets at a time like this thank you very much, who’d been dragged to the other side of the room pulled away from the vampires holding her. They were two of only a handful left and they still seemed stunned into silence. Like they were having trouble believing something like this was actually happening.
I could understand the feeling. I’d had the same problem a couple of nights ago when I first discovered a fucking vampire in that poor girl’s house, but I’d had time to come to terms with vampires being real while the vampires hadn’t had nearly as much time to come to terms with a crazy ball of pure death mowing them down en masse.
“I’m with you,” she said.
I grinned. It was nice to find someone down here with a pair. And I’m not talking about what you think I’m talking about, damn it.
I pulled one of the squirt guns from my side and tossed it to her. She grabbed it out of the air like it was nothing and turned to fire on the two vamps who’d been drag
ging her to her certain doom.
Impressive. That was a girl who didn’t take any shit. She didn’t even stop to ask whether or not what I was throwing her would be effective against vampires. Short and to the point.
The vampires finally seemed to regain some of their senses, but it was too late by the time it happened. The water hit them and they steamed into puddles of vampire muck. Then the girl marched over to her boyfriend who’d abandoned her and fired on him.
“Abandon me to vampires asshole?” she shrieked. Obviously those two had some issues to work out, and she was about to work through them with a squirt gun full of holy water.
He had two holes in his neck. I guess the vamps had worked him over while I was distracting the guy in charge. Apparently that was enough for the holy water to go to work on him because he was a steaming pile of vampire goo a moment later.
Cold. Cold, but impressive.
The vampire running the room took a few steps back. As though he was thinking of making his way through that emergency exit the other vampire just told me about. Only the girl stepped in between him and his small crowd of bodyguards and held up her squirt gun with her legs spread in a classic firing pose.
“Go ahead, make my day,” she growled.
The only thing that ruined the sight was that she was holding a bright pink plastic squirt gun, but otherwise I was damn impressed. I walked over to stand beside her and regarded the vampires who’d been caught with their pants down.
“Nice work there,” I said. “What’s your name.”
“Claire,” she said. “Yours? You’re one of the campus cops, right?”
“Yup. The name’s Byron. Blake Byron. Nice to meet you Claire.”
“Nice to meet you too,” she said.
“How’d you know I was a campus cop?” I asked.
“Criminal justice major,” she replied. “I tend to notice things like that.”
I nodded. It was all starting to make a little more sense. A future cop in the making. I might have to tell Anderson and Hooks about this one if she was this cool around vampires.
“Do yourself a favor and don’t ever apply for a job on the campus department,” I said.
“Got it,” she replied. “So what are we going to do about these assholes?”
“You can kill the others, but I want the one in the middle. Careful about splashback. A couple of drops is all it takes to turn these assholes to vampire goo.”
Again the vampires’ eyes went wide, and again there wasn’t any time for them to do a damned thing about it before they were reduced to puddles of vampire goo.
“Think you can lead everyone out of here?” I asked.
“Give me one of those stakes and another squirt gun and you’ve got yourself a deal,” she said.
I pulled a stake off the bandolier I’d brought along for tonight’s festivities, I was starting to run low, and handed it over. She had a firm grip. It was nice to find someone who could actually stand up to these bloodsucking assholes.
“Probably better if you hit them with the holy water,” I said. “Otherwise you have to hit them right in the heart, and that can get tricky.”
“Got it,” Claire said, then she raised her voice. “All right everyone, listen up! Come with me if you want to live.”
A cute college girl criminal justice major who could quote Terminator lines as she killed vampires and rescued people. For a moment there I felt guilty for dishonoring the memory of my wife by being insanely attracted to another woman.
I still had business to take care of though, so I forced myself to turn away. I ignored the remaining college kids filing out of the room through the emergency exit behind the little podium.
No, I only had eyes for the vampire backing away from me. The one who tried to leave me for dead with the local PD earlier. I hefted my bat and advanced on the asshole. I figured we had unfinished business.
He seemed to find some of his fight as I drew near. A clawed hand lashed out but I grabbed him by the wrist and jerked. There was a snap as his wrist broke and the vamp fell to his knees screaming in pain.
I shook my head. These assholes sure could dish out pain, but they weren’t very good at taking it.
The bat flashed out and there was a nasty squelch as it came in contact with papery vampire flesh. The vamp looked down in astonishment at the thick point buried in its chest just below its heart.
I jerked up. The vampire moved up right along with it to keep the point from piercing his heart until he was standing on his tiptoes with the stake tickling the bottom of his heart. Just on the edge of permanently removing him from the world.
“Hurts, doesn’t it?” I asked. “I figured my bat here would want to finish what we started in that alley.”
“Fuck you,” the vampire hissed.
“I could’ve killed you, you know,” I said. “But I need you to answer some questions. Like do you have any idea where my daughter is?”
“I hope they fucking kill her you asshole!” the vampire spat.
I shook my head. This guy really had a problem with spitting. Oh well. It would make it a hell of a lot easier when I got around to staking the asshole for real.
“Wrong answer buddy,” I said.
I twisted the stake ever so slightly and the vampire screamed in pain.
“Right. So you aren’t going to tell me where my daughter is,” I said. “But you can still be useful.”
“What do you want?” the vamp said, his voice dripping with pure agony.
“Nothing much,” I said. “Just directions to the sprinkler system maintenance room.”
The vampire looked confused. I grinned. I didn’t give a fuck if the guy was confused. He wasn’t going to live long enough to figure out my master plan anyways.
37
Blessed Are the Badass
I was surprised at the lack of vampires as I made my way outside the old factory building and around the side.
The muted thump of an explosion sounded behind me. I grimaced. I hadn’t been able to do much for the kids who were already strung up and being drained for food. They were already drained and dead by the time I’d strung up that vampire to the blood pumping machine.
Turns out the big machine in the center of that room wasn’t a reminder of a time when this town had been a manufacturing center. It was a massive machine they used to pump blood out of poor bastards who made the mistake of coming to one of their parties.
Some of the explosives Anderson and Hooks tossed my way made sure they wouldn’t ever be able to use that thing again. And it put anyone still suffering and clinging to life in there out of their misery.
The bloodsucking pricks. I was going to take care of them. I was going to take care of them real good. At least I hoped I was going to take care of them.
That or I was going to die trying.
I needed to save my little girl, but more than anything I needed to make sure this sort of thing never happened to anyone ever again. Sort of a secondary target that had just become the primary after what I’d seen in that basement.
It looked like they were planning something big, and the last thing I needed was a bunch of vampires spreading to other college campuses.
It would make hunting them down so much more difficult. This had gone from saving my daughter to saving the world and my daughter.
And if I happened to get the asshole who killed my wife in the process? Well that was icing on the cake as far as I was concerned.
I found what I was looking for after a short jog along the side of the factory. An emergency exit leading down from the second floor. It was made out of the same metal scaffolding material as the stuff inside.
Exactly what I needed. There weren’t even vampires guarding the thing. Maybe they were all inside. Maybe they’d locked the door. If that was the case I still had some more stuff to make a big boom, even if I had used a good chunk of it to put any poor bastards who were still clinging to life in that basement out of their misery.
; I climbed the stairs and yup. Sure enough the door was locked. Not that it mattered all that much to me. It’s not like it was reinforced or anything. I took out a little bit of the putty I’d gotten from Anderson and Hooks and then hauled ass back down the stairs and ran as fast as I could back along the side of the building.
There was another thump, but this time it was a hell of a lot louder than the one that took out the exsanguination room. Sure it was a smaller explosion, but it was out in the open and I was right next to it. I peered into the darkness and sure enough there was a smoking hole where the door had been a moment ago, and I’d set it up perfectly so the charge didn’t blow up the stairs.
I stepped through the door onto the scaffolding. Sure enough it was lined with vampires, though the ones closest to the door were lying bleeding and broken on the scaffolding or bleeding and broken on the floor below the scaffolding where they fell when the door blasted in.
Too bad, so sad. They’d get better soon enough.
Or at least they would’ve gotten better if I wasn’t here to ruin their day. At least I hoped I was going to ruin their day. There was a good chance this was all going to end with me lying bleeding and broken on the factory floor, after all.
I looked to the center of the second floor scaffolding. The vamp who killed my wife stood there with his mouth working and pure fury in his eyes. Well, fury and just a little bit of surprise. Pretty much the same reaction I’d gotten from every fanged son of a bitch I’d gone up against in the past few days.
“What the fuck man?” the vamp screamed, his voice echoing across the silent factory floor.
I shrugged. “Sorry, but I can’t let you keep this shindig going if it’s going to end with vampires spreading around the region.”
The vamp rolled his eyes. “That’s it. I’ve had enough of you. Kill him.”
All the other vamps on the factory floor stared up at me. Pretty much all of them looked really fucking uncertain, and I couldn’t blame them. I’d killed vampires who were presumably trained killers. What would I do to a bunch of college aged vampires who’d just been turned?
Blake Byron: Paranormal Investigator Page 23