He’d plummeted back to earth, spent frenzied hours in the studio, on the road, while the pain settled into a dull ache that still lay heavy in his gut.
Lil touched his arm. “You know, at first I blamed myself when my baby died. I thought if I hadn’t gotten so hysterical when they told me about Robbie, it wouldn’t have happened. It took a while, a long while, but now I know it was nobody’s fault. Sometimes things…just happen.”
“I don’t think you ever get over a loss like that. Not completely, anyway. I still wonder what my daughter would have looked like. Sounds stupid, doesn’t it, since I hardly know the two children I’ve got. But there it is.” The mourning dove settled in the shadows under the boughs. “I’ve had a second chance—I’m lucky. I have Mel and Michael. And you, Lil, you have that great big, noisy family of yours. It’s something I never had. You’re lucky, too, you know.”
“I guess I am.”
He glanced at her. Her gaze swept the trees, lighting on the same bird he’d watched. “Did you know mourning doves select only one mate in a lifetime?” she asked.
He didn’t answer and her eyes moved to his. “I can’t ever have anymore children.”
He met her gaze. “I’m willing to share Mel and Michael. For as long as you want.”
She looked away. Even with the sun beating on his shoulders, he felt chilled. He wanted to say more, say something about how from that very first day he’d seen her, she’d crept under his skin. But with the images of Belinda and the photograph of Lil’s husband fresh in his mind, he could only feebly offer his kids. From Lil’s reaction, even that may have been too much. He wondered how long she’d mourn her husband.
Still avoiding his eyes, she gave her shoulders a twitch. “And now,” she said in a practical voice that dispelled their closeness, “We need to decide where we’re all going.”
He still had hold of her tube, and he wanted to shake it. Shake her. Shake her out of the past, out of the tube and right into his arms, even though he knew she deserved better.
“The children are used to small-town life. If we stay in Cordelia, they’ll have friends, family. They’d go to school with my nieces and nephew, get invited to birthday parties and picnics and church socials. They’d have bikes and skates and a safe street to use them on. Anywhere else we’d go, we’d be isolated. We wouldn’t know anyone.”
The buzzer sounded again, and once more the lifeguard stood up. Jon grabbed Lil’s hand, and they rode out the waves, her fingers warm and slippery in his. When the waves stopped, he opened his mouth, but before he could get a word out, she was off again.
“You do see, don’t you? It would be best for the children.” She slipped her hand out of his and ticked off his imagined objections. He flexed his fingers; they felt amazingly empty. “Security. First of all, Cordelia’s small. Oh, I know we’ll be plagued by a few photographers, but they’ll be bored out of their minds. And once it’s known the O’Malley family doesn’t appreciate their presence, the natives won’t be too friendly. I give them a month. And as far as Wart-nose is concerned—”
His gaze had been fixed on that plump lower lip as she talked, but now he raised his eyes. “Who?”
“You know. The photographer Belinda hired. The Tidwells own Cordelia’s only motel, and they’re like my grandparents. I think Helen would have a grand time making his bed with damp sheets, loosening the shower head in his bathtub, maybe clogging the toilet.”
He laughed. “Why, lady, I didn’t know you had it in you.”
A half-smile tugging on her mouth—oh, what he’d like to do with that mouth—she raised finger number two. “There’s a room with a bath over my garage. It’s not very big, and I’m not sure the plumbing works, but with your money it could be made into living quarters for Roy. That is, if you’ll let us have him.”
He smothered his fantasies and heaved a long-suffering sigh. “What else.”
“An alarm system. You could install one in the house for less than a thousand.”
He stared at her and she looked sheepish. “I made some calls. Just in case.”
“And have you thought about my ex? Once she’s out of Serenity Gardens, she’ll go back to Monaco, and the town’s only forty, forty-five miles away.”
“I’ve thought of her, too.”
Of course, she had.
In as close as he thought she’d ever come to begging, she leaned over and grasped his arm. “She is their mother, Jon. You can’t pretend she doesn’t exist. And, don’t you think it would look better if you showed you didn’t plan to cut off the children’s relations with her completely? They could have supervised visits. Roy would always be with them.”
Knowing how Roy felt about Belinda, Jon thought he might dig in his heels at that assignment. But right now, he couldn’t care less about Roy; he was distracted by the electric pings that sizzled up his arm from her touch, then shot straight down his legs.
As she leaned toward him, the pulse of the water crushed her breasts against his tube. It took all he had not to stare. Instead, his gaze shot to her face where he almost drowned in the twin pools of her eyes. His body responded, and he hunched up his legs. He crossed them one way, then the other. He couldn’t take much more of this.
“What do you think?” Her grip tightened, her breath caressed, and he almost moaned.
Without doubt, one day he’d lose it if they continued to live together. Day after day, her nearness chipped away at the control he had left. A bunch of real estate between them was a good idea. Through clenched teeth, he surrendered. “Yeah, yeah. Cordelia, it is.”
The lines between her eyes smoothed, and she relaxed her grip, leaning back in her tube. One of her magical smiles appeared. He heaved himself toward her, ready to wipe it off with his mouth, but at that moment Michael ran up, leaving a trail of wet footprints on the concrete. Zeke followed at a trot, looking so harried he was almost unrecognizable.
“Where’d you go?” The child stopped at the edge of the pool and plunked his fists on his hips, looking exactly like Lil. “C’mon, Daddy! You’ve got to try the Foom.”
Zeke lowered himself into a chair and shook the wet hair out of his eyes. “Yes. The ‘foom.’ Quite a lot of fun, the ‘foom.”
Jon and Lil exchanged a look of amusement. “Be right there, bud,” Jon said.
When Lil moved to get out with him, he waved her back. “This is your day off, let me handle things.” It wasn’t that he didn’t want her with him, it was that he wanted her with him far too much. He caught up Michael’s hand.
She settled back and rewarded him with a smile of pure dazzle. Flipping a lazy hand at them, she called, “Have fun.”
As he walked off with Michael bouncing alongside him, Jon wondered what would have happened had the kid not appeared. He smiled down at his son. “We’ve gotta talk about your timing, buddy.”
“I can’t tell time, Daddy.” Michael looked up, face bunched into a frown. “You know that.”
***
Lil’s solitude lasted all of about twenty minutes before Melanie and Daisy pounced and dragged her off to try the “foom,” too. As the sun blazed into the sky, they flumed, shot the rapids at White Water Wonder and rode the twists and turns of Surf ‘n Slide.
She would catch glimpses of Jon, racing down a slide holding Michael in a tight grip or pushing a laughing Melanie under a waterfall on the Lazy River. His face glowed, his flashing smile a mirror of Michael’s when he’d land a well-aimed punch with his new boxing gloves on Roy’s belly. Lil grinned. Roy still hadn’t forgiven her for that one.
Jon was once more the person she’d glimpsed on the houseboat. As she watched the children, watched him, a flower of happiness unfurled in her belly. He’d found time for them all, time even to think of her.
Not since Robbie had anyone made her the center of their concern. From the moment he’d handed her coffee laced with just the right amount of sugar and cream to now, when his brandy-colored eyes were lit with the joy of giving them pleasure, she
felt.…
She would need to be careful because she felt just like a well-loved wife.
My girl. On the way here, he’d called her that. Unexpected joy had bubbled through her, followed by a disturbing tingle along her spine. It was good, more than good, that they’d each go their own directions in just over a week. If she didn’t mind herself, she’d turn all loopy over him, just like she’d once feared Mari would.
As the others took off for the Dunking Walk, she excused herself and escaped back to the Wave Pond, feeling the need to collect her thoughts. The lifeguard still rode his perch, and Zeke and Michael lounged poolside. Zeke sat on a chaise, reading, his aplomb recovered. She smiled. No wonder. Michael was asleep on a towel spread out in the shade. Country music played softly from a radio propped on the table near Zeke’s elbow. The yellow tubes lay abandoned nearby.
Seeing her, Zeke saluted, then reached over and twisted the dial, stopping on Brahms. She smiled her thanks and stooped to rummage through a cooler that overflowed with fruit, snacks, root beer—and one humongous bag of Oreo Cookies.
“Having fun?” Zeke asked.
Nibbling on a cookie, she took a lounge chair. The taste of childhood filled her mouth, and the sun’s warmth seeped through her soggy swimsuit. “Mmm-hmm.”
“He thought of everything, didn’t he?”
She swallowed and smiled at Michael. His dark lashes lay on his rounded cheeks, a moist finger near his mouth. “He made Michael happy.”
“I don’t think that’s the only person he was trying to impress.”
Lil felt herself pink.
“Oh, he would have done this for Michael anyway. He felt sick over forgetting his birthday. But this much planning didn’t go into the tour. We all got our marching orders, he pointed the direction, and he wasn’t about to brook any argument.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“He’s changed.” Zeke leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and stared out over the pool. “I’ve never seen him at peace like this. His demons have stopped raging as much as they did.” His head turned and his dark gaze met hers. “I don’t need to look far to find the reason why.”
Beside them, Michael stirred, mumbled something, then pushed himself up, blinking.
She looked away. “You must be mistaken. I didn’t do—”
“You’ve given him hope, Lil. Hope and belief in himself. No small matter, that.” Zeke looked at Michael and heaved a sigh. “Whaddaya say, buddy? You ready for another ride on the Flume?”
Lil watched them walk off, the dapper gentlemen pulled along by the sturdy little boy. Zeke was right. Jon had changed, was changing. She was glad, the children needed their father, and he was proving himself up to the task. As for her role, well, she’d only pointed out the direction. Maybe Jon felt gratitude, but that’s all it was, really.
Restless, she grabbed one of the tubes and waded into the pool. Scrabbling on board, she stretched against the warm vinyl and urged her thoughts in a different direction. Cordelia. She and the children would go home to Cordelia.
She closed her eyes. She’d make a real home for them. She’d redecorate their rooms. Pink, of course, for Mel, maybe army green for Michael. She’d enroll them in the same school she’d attended. Melanie and Daisy would be classmates, and Michael and Rose would start kindergarten together. She’d have fresh-baked cookies and tall glasses of milk ready when they came home from school. She’d help them with homework. They’d go to church on Sundays followed by roast beef at her mother and Pop’s. By October, they’d all be settled into a routine.
She sighed and dipped her free hand into the pool, letting the water trickle through her fingers. They’d make Halloween costumes and trick-or-treat, ending the outing with bobbing apples at her old home on Maple Woods Drive, just as she and her siblings had.
In November, when the air turned crisp and night fell early, they’d spend evenings in the playroom she’d prepare.… Maybe Michael would like LEGOS. She had an old desk he could use to store them. They’d read together and she’d teach them piano. When the holidays arrived, they’d decorate the house, get a tree, and she’d sew Mel a frilly, red dress for the Christmas pageant at St. Andrew’s.… Her eyes slowly closed.
“Hey, sleepyhead.”
She squinted up, somehow not surprised to see Jon. Seated in his own tube, he floated along next to her. Feeling a bubble of warmth, she impulsively held out her hand. Jon took it and she settled back, eyes fluttering closed again. A good man lay underneath all that ambition. Where his children mattered, his heart seemed to be in the right place, at least lately. The buzzer sounded, heralding a wave interval.
As the water churned, she thought of his lost child and unconsciously squeezed his fingers. She’d need to make sure the children and Jon kept in touch during his tour. She’d talk to him about buying a computer so they could email him, and she could learn to use a scanner and digital camera. Alcea had all those things; she’d show her how. She’d send him samples of schoolwork, pictures.…
She suddenly realized Jon had pulled her hand onto his chest and was toying with her fingers. Her eyes flew open. His gaze was steadfast. Caught up in her plans, she’d failed to notice the waves had subsided.
Embarrassed, she tugged at her hand, but he splayed her fingers over the smooth muscles of his chest and held it there. His heart beat was rapid. Her insides contracted.
Without unfastening his eyes from her face, keeping her hand clutched tight against him, he slid into waist-deep water and waded to the side of her tube. Determination fired his eyes.
She tugged again, then wiggled, but the smooth vinyl ring was caught around her rear. Panicked, she considered calling for help against… Against whatever he planned to do. Her gaze skittered past his, but the apron of the pool lay deserted.
His fingers slid along her cheek and curled into her hair, their easy pressure angling her head until she had to look at him. She froze, her breath caught in her throat.
“Lil.” He breathed her name, smiled. “Just this once.”
He bent toward her until the curtain of his hair shut out the sky, the pool, the world, and only those molten honey-and-brown eyes filled her vision. They gleamed gently, so gently. Alarm bells clamored in her head, but a hypnotic languor crept over her. Her heart clutched and her body tensed against the sudden longing that surged through her veins.
Her eyelids fluttered closed, then shot open as the pool lapped against the sides of her tube, and their noses bumped. He chuckled deep in his throat, then released the fingers he still held to his heart. His hands glided up the side of her neck and trapped her face. No other part of them touched.
For a moment, he simply searched her eyes. “You know it’s okay, don’t you, Lil? It’s been over three years.”
She stared back, helpless against his gaze, unable to push him away even though some part of her brain told her she should. Slowly, one side of his mouth still crooked up in a smile, he lowered his head. His lips settled on hers. A gentling touch, a featherlight touch. No pressure. A long sigh escaped her. More than three years since she’d last been kissed.
Almost against her will, her lips moved, tasting him, suddenly eager for him to taste her. He moaned. The pressure on her mouth increased until she knew he was sure he held her captive. Pulling slightly away even while she strained up, he nipped her lower lip, laid a trail of tiny kisses along the curve of her mouth, and then, when her lips parted, their surrender complete, he covered her mouth with his and devoured her.
A swirl of feeling exploded inside her stomach and radiated outward until her whole body tingled. Her flesh goosebumped despite the hot sun.
Their tongues fluttered together, then apart. He tasted of grape and chlorine and of himself. She clutched a handful of his hair, trying to catch her breath. But instead of jerking his head back as she’d intended, she pulled him closer. The kiss deepened, their tongues tangled, and she lost herself in sensation. No longer Lil O’Malley, no longer the widow of Robert Ry
an, no longer aware of who or where she was.
“Aunt Lil!”
Arms and legs cartwheeling, Lil shoved Jon away. The tube tipped, and she spilled into the pool. Disoriented, she gulped a mouthful of water and batted her arms, not knowing which way was up.
A strong hand gripped her wrist, dragged her up and set her on her feet. Sputtering, she defied the gleam of amusement in his eyes and yanked on the tube, turning her back on him before he could open his mouth. She straightened her shoulders, tried desperately to regain her dignity and chose to ignore the fact she’d kissed him back.
Daisy stood on the shallow edge of the pool, hands on her hips. “You seen my towel?”
Dragging her tube and scolding herself, Lil plodded toward her niece.
She’d behaved like a fool. So what if he’d roused some feelings in her? They were normal, biological. After all, she hadn’t been kissed like that since Robbie. Actually, even Robbie had never kissed her quite like that. She shied away from the thought, feeling disloyal.
She waded toward Daisy, reasserting her self-control. But her cheeks still burned with shame. “I think I saw your towel on the table. Let me check.”
Conscious of Jon’s gaze, she busied herself with Daisy. Then, too discomfitted to return to the wave pool, she followed her niece in search of the others. For the rest of the day, she avoided Jon, but every time she risked a glance, her face flamed. He looked far more smug than he had any right to. And her heartbeat was far more erratic than his kiss should warrant.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
THE DAY of the Missouri State Fair concert dawned a dull gold, the air heavy with anticipation. Thunderheads boiled all day on the horizon, but as evening neared, the clouds evaporated with the humidity and left a velvet expanse of soft blue.
Jon was in Sedalia, as he had been all day and most of the past two since their trip to the water park. The day following their excursion, Jon had moved the entire Van Castle entourage from the Royal Sun to less fanciful digs at the State Fair Holiday Inn in Sedalia. He’d dictated she and the children remain behind, deciding they’d suffer less upheaval if they delayed their move to Cordelia until workers had completed the alarm installation, garage remodel and internet wiring at Lil’s house. He hadn’t consulted her about any of it, and she’d felt a mixture of irritation and pride that he hadn’t needed her advice. Instead, he’d left her to handle the children’s rising excitement as the concert neared.
SING ME HOME (Love Finds A Home - Book One) Page 19