by Mary Salyers
Aunt Lillian stood and put her arms around JD. “I’m sorry. I guess it had to come out someday, but I’m sorry you’re the one to tell her. She’ll be mad when she finds out I’ve known all this time and didn’t tell her.”
Maggie came and stood with them. “What do you plan to do now?”
“I have to leave. Daddy’ll kill me when he finds out I told.”
“Where’ll you go? And what about school?”
“I don’t care about school. I’ve probably already failed too many classes to graduate. And I don’t know where I’m going; I’ve just got to get out of here. I’ve saved up some money. I’ll go somewhere and get a job. I’ll write you when I get settled somewhere. I thought I’d start out tonight, I’ve got all my stuff in the car, but I wanted to see you before I left.”
Aunt Lillian released him and took a step back. “Why don’t you stay here tonight?”
“You’re too tired and upset to be driving this late,” Maggie argued, “and besides, you don’t even know where you’re going.”
JD nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay, but I’m leaving tomorrow for sure.”
“Maggie, get the extra blankets out of the trunk at the foot of my bed. We’ll make him a pallet here on the kitchen floor. I’ll go talk to Opal tomorrow, and if she wants to go to Detroit, I’ll go with her.”
“Thanks, Aunt Lillian. You’ve always been good to me, like another mother.” JD gave her a hug.
Maggie lay in the dark trying to sort out her feelings. On the one hand, she understood that JD couldn’t stay, but she didn’t want him to leave. He had only a few months till graduation. If he leaves now, he’ll never graduate. Where can he go? And how could she stand to lose him? That’s one cord I don’t want broken.
* * *
31 February, 1951
Dear Maggie,
Guess what? I’m in the army here at Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Don’t tell Mama. Don’t want her or Daddy to know where I’m at. Maybe I’ll surprise her & show up in my uniform when boot camp is over.
I hate my Sgt. I think I could actually kill him. Sometimes when he gets in my face & yells at me, it takes all my strength to keep from hitting him. He made me do 100 push-ups yesterday because he found a wrinkle in my bed. Tomorrow we are going on a 10 mile march. It makes my feet hurt just to think about it. But the chow is good & I’ve met some fun guys.
When I left, I went to Knoxville & got a room at the YMCA. Got a job washing dishes at a restaurant til I found out how to enlist. Sold my car. I’m sending you a money order for you to use for yourself. You’ve always stood by me & been my best friend. I want you to know how much I appreciate you.
Write & tell me what happened when Mama went to Detroit. How is Wanda doing? I do miss her, but don’t tell her. How is Johnny Ray? Is Kenny doing ok?
I got to go now. Write soon. I miss you.
Your Cuz, JD
Maggie read the letter again and handed it to Aunt Lillian. “You should read it, too. I’m not surprised he ended up in the army.” She looked at the money order. “I can’t believe he sent me a hundred dollars. What should I do with it?” She folded the money order and put it in her pocket. “I’ll give at least half of it to Daddy to pay on the hospital bill.”
“I think JD meant for you to spend it on yourself.”
“I’ll still have enough to go to the Business Education Convention and buy my dress to wear to the Junior-Senior Banquet. Daddy wouldn’t let me go last year, but I think I’ll get to go this year, especially since Bud’s a senior, and this might be the last year I get to go with him.”
“Do you think Corie Mae will start speaking to you when basketball season is over?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to believe she hasn’t spoken to me a single time in over two months. I’m sort of getting used to it. At least I don’t keep expecting it.”
Aunt Lillian handed the letter back to Maggie. “Tell him I’m glad he’s okay. I’ve been so worried about him since we hadn’t heard nothing all this time.”
“I better get back to school. Mr. Adkins sent me to the bank, and I just stopped in to see if you’d heard anything from JD. I’ll see you again Friday when we have a game at Central City. It’ll be really late when we get home because it’s a long ways over there.”
“Be sure Bud walks you up here. Just knock on the door. I’ll be expecting you. And good luck. I hope you beat them good.”
“Thanks, Aunt Lillian.” Maggie gave her a hug. “I’ll do my best.”
* * *
Dear JD,
I was so relieved to get your letter. Aunt Lillian and I have been worried to death about you. When will boot camp be over? Will you get to come home for a furlough? I can’t wait to see you in your uniform.
Thanks for the money order. I know you said for me to spend it on myself, but I gave Daddy $50 to pay on the hospital bill. He gave me a hug and he had tears in his eyes. That made me feel good.
I haven’t seen Aunt Opal since she got back from Detroit. She won’t come to our family dinner on Sundays. Kenny says, she’s not keeping the house clean and spends most of her time in bed. He eats supper at our house most nights. I don’t think Kenny knows about Stella, so he’s not sure what’s making your mother so depressed. Aunt Lillian went to Detroit with your mother, and she said Uncle Thomas wouldn’t even talk to Aunt Opal. He would only talk to Aunt Lillian. He said if your mother would agree not to tell anyone about Stella, he would not ask her for a divorce. He would still live in Detroit and she would still live here. He would continue to send money as he has done in the past, so nothing’s really changed except now your mother knows. She told Aunt Lillian she would accept these terms until Kenny graduates from high school.
I know you don’t want her to know where you are, but she is really worried. Your leaving and finding out about your Daddy’s other life were two big blows that fell on her all at once. It would help her if you would write to her. I told Kenny to tell her I had gotten a letter from you and you were all right. But I didn’t tell him where you were.
Johnny Ray stays in his bed almost all the time now. Daddy set up his bed in the front room again where it’s warm. Sometimes he goes to the table to eat and sometimes Mama brings his food to him in bed. I don’t know how much longer he can hold on. I dread the day when his heart gives out.
The rest of us are doing all right. Little Mary Helen is so cute. She is almost 5 months old now. Junior loves to make her laugh and almost anything he does causes her to cackle.
We have lost only 2 games so far. We have only two more games of the regular season. Then we’ll start the county tournament. Mary Ann and Connie have worked out a good play to get the ball to me so I can do my hook shot. My picture was in the county paper last week as the player with the most points in one season. I got a copy of the paper and brought it home. I saw Mama pick it up and look at it, but she still doesn’t talk to me or let me come to the table to eat. Mr. Collins has given Daddy a ride to games two or three times. He doesn’t say much to me about it, but I’m glad he wants to go.
It’s time for me to do the chores. Be careful. Take care of yourself. Don’t’ let that Sgt. get under your skin. Hope we’ll see you soon.
Your cuz, Maggie
* * *
A day or two later, Maggie went to the barn to do the chores but could not find the cows. She called for them as she walked through the pasture, but didn’t hear the bell that hung around Big Red’s neck. She walked along the back fence hoping to find where they had broken through. Finally, she saw the post lying on the ground and the fence wire mashed down. She followed the tracks up the hill and into the woods. She had walked some distance up the ridge when she heard Big Red’s bell. She began to call to the cows, and soon she saw them coming toward her. “What are you doing out here? Trying to run away?”
The cows followed Maggie back down the hill toward the gap in the fence. Suddenly Audie Lee stepped from behind a bush and took a few stumbling steps toward her. “Hi Audie
Lee. I haven’t seen you for a long time. Where have you been hiding? Up on the ledge?” She watched as he waddled closer and took the tow sack off his shoulder. After searching through it, he opened one of his tobacco sacks and picked out Johnny Ray’s necklace and offered it to Maggie.
When Maggie reached for it, he pulled it back and made motions. She didn’t understand at first, but finally realized he wanted her to swap something for the necklace. She put her hands in her pockets, but found only a large safety pin. He angrily shook his head. Frantic lest she lose this chance to get the necklace for Johnny Ray, she looked at Big Red who stood nearby. She pointed to the cow bell and looked at Audie Lee with raised eyebrows. At first he grinned and stepped a little closer to look. But then he shook his head and put the necklace back into his pouch. Maggie watched him throw the burlap bag over his shoulder and lurch back into the bushes. She wished she still had the geode pieces in her pocket.
Later that night when she was reading to Johnny Ray, she told him about her encounter with Audie Lee. “I think if I had had the geode pieces he would have traded with me. Do you know where they are?”
Johnny Ray’s eyes brightened. “Yes, Maggie. If you look beside the bed upstairs where I used to sleep, there’s a little hole in the wall. I put them in there.” Maggie found the geode pieces and began carrying them with her hoping she would run into Audie Lee again. But the days slipped by and Audie Lee never showed.
The last week in February the rain fell in torrents, washing gullies in the hillsides and turning the dirt roads into rivers of mud. The superintendent cancelled school when many creeks flooded and water rose over the bridges. Grandpa Campbell said he could never remember such a rain coming in February. Maggie hoped the county tournament scheduled to start in three days would not be cancelled as well. By Wednesday the creeks had receded enough that busses could get through, and school resumed. With the tournament only one day away, Coach Moore pushed the girls hard during the practice, but announced, “I think you are ready to win this tournament.”
When Maggie and the kids got off the bus that afternoon, Reverend Lewis waited to give them a ride home. He said he didn’t want them to have to walk in the mud. But as they approached, Maggie saw the doctor’s car parked in front of the house. She looked at her pastor. “It’s Johnny Ray, isn’t it?”
He nodded. “Yes, I’m afraid he left us about two this afternoon. The doctor is here for your mother. She’s taking this pretty hard. She needs you now, Maggie.”
Maggie looked at Reverend Lewis with wild eyes. “Johnny Ray’s dead?”
When the realization hit Jeannie in the back seat, she began screaming. Even though he didn’t understand what had happened, Junior began crying, too. Maggie opened the door and pulled Junior into her arms. “Shhhh.” she whispered into his ear. “You’re okay. Maggie’s not going to let anything happen to you.”
Reverend Lewis helped Jeannie out of the car and held her while she sobbed. “He was a brave little boy,” he said and patted Jeannie’s back.
“But I didn’t get to tell him good bye.” Jeannie pushed away and ran down the muddy road.
“Here.” Maggie handed Junior over to Reverend Lewis and ran after Jeannie slipping and sliding in the muddy ruts. When she caught up with her, Maggie pulled her toward the barn where they climbed to the hay loft and fell into the hay. Holding each other, they cried until exhausted.
“I never thought he’d just go away like this.” Jeannie sat up and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “When I left this morning he said, ‘Bye, Jeannie. See you later.’” She began crying again.
Maggie searched through her coat pockets for a handkerchief, but came up with the two pieces of geode. She looked at them, and fresh tears ran down her cheeks. “When I told him good bye this morning, he said, ‘Maggie, maybe today you’ll get the necklace from Audie Lee.’” Her shoulders shook as she sobbed. “He wanted it so much. Now it’s too late.”
* * *
Toward the end of April on a bright Sunday afternoon, Maggie climbed to the ledge to work on the oral report she had to make in her world history class. She wanted to find a place where she could practice in private. She stood looking over the hollow and spoke confidently to the audience of freshly leaved trees interspersed with bright spots of redbud and dogwood. After going through her report for the third time, she sat down on a rock and let her mind wander. Memories of the last several weeks flashed through her mind like pictures in an album.
She saw her father, Grandpa Campbell, Stuart and Kenny returning from digging the grave. They were covered in mud from head to toe as the recent rains had left the ground soaked. That in turn prompted her memory of the casket being lowered and hearing the splash as it sank into the water standing in the grave. She still had bad dreams about that. Sometimes she waked suddenly hearing the splats as the men shoveled the mud onto the casket.
She closed her eyes to erase that picture and saw her teammates hugging her and expressing their sympathy. She shuddered as she recalled how, though they hadn’t said it was her fault they had lost the tournament, she thought she saw the blame in their faces and struggled with her guilt for letting down the team, and indeed, the school. In the trauma of Johnny Ray’s death, she had completely forgotten about the tournament. The kindness of Coach Moore, when he had come to the house to reassure her and express his sympathy to her parents, helped moderate her reaction to their imagined reproof.
She shifted her gaze to the dirt road she could see here and there between the trees and recalled how cars had worn deep ruts bringing friends, church women, even relatives from Kentucky. They came in droves carrying food, expressing their sympathy, standing quietly beside the casket set up on the funeral bier in the downstairs bedroom. Thanks to Aunt Opal, who dragged herself out of her own stupor to help, the house was cleaned, the kitchen scoured, and the children bathed in preparation for the wake. Maggie smiled remembering that Aunt Opal had recently accepted another job caring for an elderly woman, apparently putting her disappointments behind her. The fact that JD had come home after boot camp and made some overtures of reconciliation apparently had encouraged Aunt Opal to get her life back together.
Maggie stood, picked up a rock, and hit the dead pine tree down below the ledge. She smiled as she remembered how she and JD had stood here last fall flinging stones at the old tree. Her smile faded as her fears that JD would be sent to Korea surfaced. After his furlough he had reported to Fort Meade, Maryland, where he was being trained as a medic. She sighed, picked up her papers, and turned to go back down the trail.
A scene that brought both joy and pain filled the screen of her mind. During the night of the wake for Johnny Ray, Maggie had come downstairs to see if people still kept watch. Her father slept, sitting in a folding chair furnished by the funeral home, his head leaning against the wall. Hearing voices in the kitchen, Maggie had found her father’s two sisters from Kentucky, Aunt Dar and Aunt Cindy, talking with Grandma Campbell. She had found her mother standing beside the casket in the bedroom. Quietly stepping beside her, Maggie put her arm around her mother’s waist. Corie Mae had turned to look at her, then enfolded Maggie in her arms, and the two of them swayed back and forth weeping hot tears of grief and regret. When the tears had stopped, Corie Mae held Maggie at arm’s length. “I don’t understand why God lets a sweet little boy die. But He knows best. We just have to accept His will.”
Maggie tripped over a root, almost turning a somersault, before getting herself upright on the path again. She wiped the tears from her eyes. In those moments that she and her mother had held each other, she had hoped all was forgiven and forgotten. Once she had wanted to be cut free of her mother, but now she wasn’t sure. She wondered how many other cords would be broken. Johnny Ray and Elsie Mae are gone. Who knows what JD is headed for? With Bud graduating, will that cord be cut too?
Thinking of Bud reminded her how he had come to her side as soon as he heard about Johnny Ray’s death. He had skipped school and spent t
he day helping. He washed dishes, carried in wood and coal to keep the fires going, and even persuaded Corie Mae to eat. He had stood with Maggie beside the casket and held her as she wept.
Maggie noticed the shadows growing longer and quickened her pace, remembering Bud planned to go to church with her tonight. After graduation, he expected to work in his uncle’s store in Chattanooga again until he started classes at Tennessee Tech in the fall. Maggie wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he graduated.. She had bought a formal dress to wear to the Junior-Senior banquet in a few weeks. Although Corie Mae had agreed for her to go with Bud to the banquet, Maggie hadn’t shown her the dress, which she had left at Aunt Lillian’s. Remembering the way her mother had objected to the dress Betty Lou wore for the music program last year, she didn’t want to take a chance that Corie Mae would veto her plans. As she came around the curve past JD and Kenny’s house, she saw Bud coming down the hill toward her. He ran to her, threw his arms around her and swung her around in a circle before setting her down on the steps to the house.
.
CHAPTER 9
Campbell Holler–November 12, 1888 Disappointment. Had plan to go to Harlan for Thanksgiving. Harvey got typhoid fever. Almost died. Now too weak to travel. Haven’t seen my family for 15 years.
(Diary of Mary Louise Campbell)
Junior year 1951-1952
Maggie had mixed feelings about school at the beginning of her junior year. The summer had been long and boring–and sad. It seemed that every day brought some reminder of Johnny Ray. Several times she had found her mother holding a favorite toy of Johnny Ray’s and wiping tears from her eyes. Her father’s eyes seldom twinkled with humor. They all missed him, but everyone seemed afraid to talk about it. Some days when she felt particularly low, Maggie wandered up to the ridge and pelted the old dead pine.