by Carol Ashby
The joy in her voice as she claimed that god told her he loved her―what was a man of logic to do with that?
Eight years earlier, Decimus had declared he’d met his god in his own bedchamber. His words described impossibilities: surrounded by light, wrapped in love, filled with his god’s presence.
He’d rejected Decimus’s claim that his god was right there with him as the ravings of a madman, but what about Adela’s words? Galen hadn’t told her that would happen, so she wasn’t saying it just to please him. And to hear Galen say he knew what she experienced, that his god would always be present with them both?
He’d thought his son had abandoned everything for a delusion, but was there a reality here that he’d never let himself consider before?
He willed his body to relax, and his heart rate slowed. The silence of the forest wrapped around him. But try as he might, he couldn’t silence Adela’s voice as she echoed Decimus’s words.
Chapter 44: A Fight He Can’t Win
Near Argentorate, Day 66
Except for the occasional conversation between Galen and Adela about the Christian god, Tiberius had found much of the six-day ride from Octodurus to Argentorate quite amusing. Somehow, it was always Galen who finished packing the mules when they broke camp, and that gave Otto a chance to ask Adela to walk with him alone. The big German had a rare gift for making her laugh, and he paid her enough attention the rest of the day that any woman would think he might be courting her. She giggled and blushed at all the appropriate times, so it was clear she was very aware of him as a man.
Galen’s response was not what his own would have been, had he been a young man who wanted Adela himself. Galen was at least as funny as his tall friend, and by far the smarter of the two. He was just as handsome and strong for his size, even if he was short. Why didn’t he tell Otto it was his turn to pack and take Adela for a walk himself?
Galen had admitted he liked Adela in Ticinum as they watched the others by the fish pond. His reason for not telling her made no sense, not then and much less now.
Tiberius almost snorted as he remembered Galen saying he couldn’t marry a woman who didn’t worship the Christian god. That excuse was gone, and he still hadn’t told her he wanted her.
It was only a few hours to the estate of a friend from his time as governor, and time was running out. Tonight, before Tiberius let Galen sleep, he’d teach the boy an important political and military principle.
The contest didn’t always go to the strongest or smartest or richest. It often went to the one who made the first move.
Tiberius took his last sip of wine. The dinner hosted by his friend had been up to the standards of Rome, and his stomach was content. His three Germans had acquitted themselves well as they reclined at dinner, with Adela chatting in passable Latin with their hostess and both Galen and Otto listening attentively as he and Septimus discussed the changes in the province since he’d left.
He rose from the couch. “An exceptional dinner after so long on the trail, but we have always enjoyed a good meal together.” He flexed his shoulders. “My young companions will be heading across the frontier early tomorrow, but such trips are meant for younger men who haven’t experienced the wilder parts of Germania like we have. I shall enjoy a few days of relaxation as my horses rest.”
Septimus’s smile was more than gracious as he stood. “Since we’ll have several days together, I’ll bid you goodnight. Those who plan to travel early need to retire early as well.” He offered his hand to his wife to help her rise, and they left the dining room.
Otto swung his legs off the couch. “A man can’t do better than the food in a Roman dining room, but I still like chairs better.” He held his hand out to Adela.
She gripped it, and he pulled her to her feet. “What I like about the villas is their flower gardens. So many different blossoms, such lovely smells.”
Otto didn’t release her hand after she stood. “Let’s walk in one for a while.”
Adela flashed him a smile and pointed out the window that overlooked a pool with statues on pedestals down the center. “There are roses by the wall over there.” She held out her hand to Galen. “Come with us.”
Tiberius raised his hand. “He’ll be with you shortly. I need to speak with Galen first.”
As soon as they left the room, Tiberius turned on Galen. “You do realize how little time you have left with Adela? When are you going to tell her you want her and ask if she wants you?”
Galen walked to the window. “Never.” A sigh escaped as Adela leaned over a rosebush and inhaled. “Look at her. She’s the extraordinary daughter of a Germanic chieftain. He’d planned to marry her to the son of one of his fellow chieftains, and when she goes home, he’ll still expect to do that. She’d never marry without her father’s approval.”
He ran both hands through his hair. “Look at me. I couldn’t look more Roman if I tried. Her father respects Roman warriors, but he hates Romans. He’ll never let her marry one. If I were to ask, he’d probably take my head off with a battle ax. What I want isn’t even a remote possibility, even if she wanted me, too.
“She likes Otto a great deal. Who wouldn’t? He’s a good man. He’ll be a good husband and father. His father’s a chieftain of the Vangiones. Even though he lives in a Roman province, a Hermunduri chieftain might just say yes if Otto asked for her.
“Three or four days from now, I’ll have to say goodbye to her. It’s the last thing I want to do, but I can’t put what I want over what’s best for her.”
“She deserves to know how you feel. She might persuade him if she tries.” The corner of Tiberius’s mouth curved. “I’d have a hard time saying no to a daughter like her.”
“Don’t tell her. If she feels the same as I do, I don’t want to make it harder for her by making her think we might have married if it weren’t for her father. Anger at someone who takes away someone you love can destroy affection. I don’t want to make her resent him. She might say or do something he’ll never forgive. Forgive the unforgivable―that’s a command from our God, but very few can do it without His help, and even then, it’s hard.”
“So you’re giving up without a fight?”
“A wise man never enters a fight he knows he can’t win.”
Tiberius rolled his eyes. “I respect your desire to protect her, but I think you’re a fool. At sixteen, I married the girl my father selected for me. She fulfilled her duty and gave me two sons. She watched over my house while I served as tribune, but we were nothing to each other. You and Adela have a chance for so much more, if you’ll only take it.” He flicked his hand toward the garden. “But if you won’t reach for that future, go enjoy what little of the present remains.”
Day 67
Tiberius stood beside Adela, watching his chariot horses in the corral while Galen and Otto saddled their mounts and loaded the pack mule with two tents, bedrolls, and supplies for ten days. It was the last time she’d be beside him, and that punched a hole in his heart.
She leaned one elbow on the rail and rested her chin in her hand. “Thank you for letting me ride your stallion. He was even better than Otto’s horse.”
“He is more your size.” He’d never look at that horse again without remembering her, but he forced a slight smile. “The only thing more amusing than watching you ride such a spirited animal as if he were a child’s mount is watching Galen ride that big brute of Otto’s.”
“I rode Otto’s horse over five thousand stadia, and he’s a lovely animal.”
“It’s good you gave him back to Otto. I wouldn’t want a man of his size riding my stallion this far.” He let his full smile appear. “Having you ride beside me shortened the distance.”
Her gaze dropped to the ground. “It’s going to seem strange not having you with us.” When she turned her eyes back on him, they were clouded.
“Is something wrong?”
She bit her lip. “Maybe not…but I’m afraid of
what Father is going to do when I come home. It’s been so long; I’m sure he thinks I’m dead. When I suddenly show up, he’s going to ask about everything that’s happened to me.”
Her lips tightened. “He listens too much to that woman he married after Mother died. He didn’t even wait four months, and she’s meaner than a weasel. She hates me, maybe because I told him he shouldn’t marry again so soon.”
Tiberius’s eyebrow rose. “I’m not surprised she’d dislike you for that.”
“If my stepsister Gunda got killed when they took me, she’s going to blame me, even though I did everything I could to save her. But it really was Hildegard’s own fault. If she hadn’t insisted we pick strawberries that day, nothing would have happened to Gunda, and I wouldn’t be here.”
She gripped the rail with both hands, and Tiberius rested his on one of them. “She has no right to do that. As you say, you tried to protect her daughter. It’s not your fault you weren’t able to.”
“That won’t matter. She always blames me for anything she’s not happy about. And she jumps at any chance to do something to make me miserable. Now that I follow Jesus, I know I have to try to forgive her for that, but it’s not easy.
“It’s not the Germanic way to forgive anything. It’s remembrance and revenge.” She drew a circle in the dirt with her toe. “Galen says forgiveness is what gives peace. He says what looks like a bad thing sometimes turns out not to be. We need to look to find the good in the bad and give thanks for it. Then it gets easier to forgive. I’m trying to forgive the things Hildegard did to me. When I do, it’s like a weight lifts off me.”
She erased the circle with the sole of her shoe. “He’s right about finding good in the bad. Being kidnapped was horrible, but being with Galen is good. Following Jesus is good. Meeting you is good. I can give thanks for all those, but…”
Her hand covered her mouth. She glanced at Galen, then rested her hand on the rail again. “What Gundahar did…how could that ever be good? I know I should try to forgive him, but I can’t. Galen says he’s mostly forgiven the men who murdered his parents, but every time my stomach feels queasy, I see that ugly, leering face in Brigantium as he bragged about what he’d done. How can anyone forgive someone for something like that when he wasn’t sorry at all? He was proud of what he did to me.”
Tiberius shrugged. “I can’t tell you. It’s not the Roman way to forgive.”
“Galen says Dec has forgiven you for disowning him, and they’re both Roman. He’s sure Dec will be happy to see you.”
“I’ll be glad to see him again, but I haven’t forgiven him for deciding to become a Christian and abandon all our plans for him rising in the service of Rome, like I did. Like my father and grandfather did before me.” His teeth clenched. “That was a betrayal of everything I’d taught him. A betrayal of me. Nothing he can do will change that.”
Adela’s head tilted. “But it’s been eight years. Being angry so long…hasn’t that made you unhappy?”
“Why do you think I’m unhappy?”
She lowered her eyes and looked away. “It’s just a feeling. Maybe I’m wrong.”
He gripped her chin and raised it until her eyes met his. “There have been times, but this isn’t one of them. I’m happy to have met you and Galen and Otto. This trip has been pure pleasure.”
He gave it a gentle shake before dropping his hand. “If there’s going to be any problem staying with your father, come back to me.” His smile broadened as he gazed into her ice-blue eyes. “I never had a daughter, but if I did, I’d want her to be just like you.”
She slipped her arms around him. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
As her cheek rested against his chest, his heart clenched. He wrapped one arm around her and rested his other hand on the back of her head.
“And I’ll miss you.”
He would have held her longer, but Galen and Otto rode up, leading the horse Galen had bought for her in Argentorate.
With a final squeeze, Adela released him and walked to her horse.
Galen’s face mirrored his own well-concealed regret. “We’ll stop at the legion fortress before we leave town. One of the centurions who buys our horses should know something that will help us find her village. It will probably be about a week before we return.”
“Perhaps I should go with you. A party of four is safer than three.”
Galen glanced at Adela and lowered his voice. “You look too much like a senator. That’s an invitation to trouble that might get us killed before we even reach her father. It’s bad enough I look Roman, but anyone we meet is more likely to laugh at me than anything else. Otto and Adela are so obviously Germanic we should be able to pass through Hermunduri country safely.”
Tiberius opened his mouth to argue, but Galen’s logic was irrefutable. “I know you’re right.” His jaw clenched as he watched her mount. “Keep her safe.”
Galen’s eyes sought Adela. “I’ll do my best.” His voice dropped even lower. “If we don’t come back, go to Borbetomagus and take the road west into the hill country. It joins the road between Mogontiacum and Argentorate at our village. If it’s market day, ask for Valeria. She’ll take you to Dec. Ask at the inn if it’s not. Someone will help you find our farm.”
Tiberius rested his hand on Astrelo’s neck and gripped a handful of mane. “You’ll be back. If her father doesn’t welcome her, don’t leave her there.”
Otto rode up beside them and spoke before Galen could. “We’ll make sure she’s safe before we leave. But I can’t see any reason why there should be a problem. My own father would be overjoyed to get one of my sisters back after he thought she’d been killed.” He turned a smile toward Adela before his gaze returned to Tiberius. “Adela’s better than any of my sisters.”
Adela rode close and reached out her hand. Tiberius took it.
Her eyes looked moist. “Thank you for everything. I’ll never forget you.”
He squeezed her hand and nodded.
Otto reined his horse away from Tiberius. “Let’s go.”
Adela moved next to him. With a pack mule trailing behind him, Galen nudged his horse to Adela’s side. Three abreast, they headed out.
Tiberius’s couldn’t stop the sigh as she rode through the gate. Was it wrong to hope her father would reject her? After eight years of loneliness, was it too selfish to want her and her child to fill his life with laughter and love again?
Chapter 45: Crossing the Frontier
Argentorate, Day 67
The gray stone walls of the legion fortress rose above them as Otto, Galen, and Adela approached the gate.
Galen rode forward and held his hands away from his body as the legionary guard eyed him with suspicion. “State your business.”
In perfect, unaccented Latin, he replied. “Gaius Crassus would like to speak with Centurion Silanus. I’m seeking information.”
A young legionary headed into the camp to fetch Silanus.
Otto’s mouth turned down. Roman-to-Roman made everything easier.
When Silanus strode through the gate, his head snapped back as his gaze settled on Otto. “So Crassus’s hunt was successful. It’s been so long I thought he must have failed. It’s good to see you, Otto.”
Otto blanked his face to conceal his surprise that Silanus spoke to him instead of Galen and even knew his name. “The kidnappers were caught in Brigantium, and Galen followed me to Rome to free me. That took a few weeks.”
“I’m glad Roman justice was served and gladder still to see you back. I’d miss you coming with your horses.”
“I’ll be back often. I’m starting a racing stable with prime chariot horses from Rome.”
Silanus tipped his head. “Whose horses?”
“Tiberius Lentulus.”
“The former governor?”
“Yes.”
Silanus gave Otto a tight-lipped nod. “I didn’t know he bred horses.”
“His racers
are famous. They often win in the Circus Maximus. I watched four of them run for the Greens and the Blues while I was in Rome, and they won every race.”
“I was new in the VIII Augusta when he was governor here. How did you meet him?”
“He bought me out of the ludus in Rome.
Silanus’s eyebrows shot up. “And made you his agent?”
“Yes.”
“So, you’re a citizen now. That almost makes it worth being kidnapped. What should I call you?”
“Otto son of Baldric, Tiberius Cornelius Baldricus. Whichever you choose. I’m the same man either way.”
“I hope you’ll bring your horses to the fortress as well as the circus. I’d like to see them.”
“I plan to. Adela rode the stallion here from Rome, and she found him pure pleasure to ride. I’ll train all my horses for saddle as well as harness.”
Silanus stroked the neck of Otto’s horse. “Some want a smaller horse than the giants you need to ride.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “I’ll let Vitellus and the tribunes know there will be more fine animals coming when you get your stable going, but I want first chance to see them.”
He stepped back, and his gaze shifted to Galen. “Crassus, I was told you needed some information. What do you need?”
“We’re taking Adela back to her father, but we need to figure out where to go. She was blindfolded the first day, but I’m hoping someone here might know enough about Hermunduri country to advise us.”
Silanus rubbed his chin. “One of our centurions served in the auxilia with some Hermunduri. Bring your pretty friend, and we can ask him what he knows.” Silanus took a step, then turned back. “Baldricus, you come, too.”
As the trio rode out the fortress gate, Galen scanned the wax tablet filled with notes about villages and trails and streams in Hermunduri country.
“I think we have enough here to guide us.” He offered an encouraging smile to Adela. “We should be able to get you home.”