by Anthology
The door slammed shut behind her, and the baby began to wail. Seeing the panic in my eyes, my mom pulled his carrier from my arms.
“Oh, it’s all right,” she cooed at him. “You’re going to be just fine. Grandma’s going to get you out of this thing and hold you now.”
Her reassuring voice seemed to calm him instantly. Too bad it didn’t have the same effect on me.
“I got this,” she said over her shoulder. “Go do what you need to do. I’ll let you have the night shift.”
As I reached for my own coat, I knew for the first time in my life what guilt really felt like. On the way home to change my clothes, I called Vanessa.
I could’ve phoned in sick. It would’ve been easy enough to fake a deviled egg emergency. Or I could have been honest and told my lieutenant that my own life was in a state of emergency because that certainly wouldn’t have been a lie. Instead, I’d come into work, selfishly needing a few hours of reprieve from the madness that had taken over my life.
But it didn’t work that way. There was no forgetting who I’d left behind.
Twenty-four hours ago, I’d been happy with the status quo. I hadn’t known what was missing from my life or even that anything was missing at all. Now, I could see my former life had been a giant piece of Swiss cheese, riddled with holes that left a bitter aftertaste. Sierra and Lucien were the very things I’d been avoiding my entire life, but as I clocked out, I was ready to put into action the decisions I’d made. I just hoped it wasn’t too late. The fact that Sierra wasn’t answering her phone or responding to my text messages was not a good sign.
My ma had offered to keep the baby overnight—apparently, he’d already won my family over—but it wasn’t how I wanted to start my relationship off with my new son. I’d be relying on her help enough in the coming days.
The baby was strapped into his car seat and sleeping soundly when I got there. I expected her to argue some more, but my mom was oddly silent as she watched me buckle the contraption into the backseat of my truck. When I asked about Sierra, she just shrugged.
“I’m going to drive down to Connecticut tomorrow to find her,” I said. “Somehow I’ll convince her that this is going to be okay.”
“These things have a way of working out,” Pop said as he slid his arm around Ma’s shoulders.
I sighed as I pulled myself up into the truck. “Let’s hope so,” I said, though I didn’t see how.
I turned the radio off so it wouldn’t wake Lucien and drove in silence to my apartment. That name was another thing. Vanessa knew I hated my real name. Had she given it to him just to spite me? The bitch was crazy, but this took it to a new level. I looked at the top of his fuzzy dark hair in the rearview mirror and shook my head. I couldn’t think things like that about her now. She was someone’s mother.
As expected, the lights were off when I pulled up to the curb and parked in the same spot where the moving truck had sat earlier that morning. I’d known in my heart that Sierra would be gone. I couldn’t blame her for splitting, but it didn’t lessen the disappointment.
I walked through the dark apartment to my room and set Lucien’s seat in the center of my bed. I turned on a small lamp and took stock of my ill-equipped apartment. It wasn’t any more ready for a baby than I was.
I opened his small bag and began pulling stuff out.
A blanket.
Diapers and wipes.
Three different pacifiers.
A can of formula.
Several baby bottles.
A stuffed football.
I laid each item on the bed and continued to dig, hoping I’d come to a set of instructions at some point. Surely, my mother had known the brave front I’d put on earlier was just a façade, and I would be freaking out about now.
I scrubbed my hand down my face when I reached the bottom. The only instructions were on the can of formula. Well, it was something.
I had picked up the can and had just begun to read it when the doorbell rang downstairs. I started for it but then stopped. I glanced back at Lucien, wondering if it was bad parenting if I left him alone to answer the door and was once again slapped in the face with the cold hard truth. I had no idea what I was doing. I knew one thing: I wasn’t ready for him to wake up.
In a rush to get back to him, I took the stairs two at a time. I flung the door open, hoping it was either my ma or my sister coming to my rescue because I’d been an idiot to think I could do this alone.
Relief flooded through me as I took in an even more welcome sight. Sierra stood there, loaded down with Walmart bags, a pile of boxes stacked by her feet. I glanced over her head to find her car parked behind my truck. When I looked back at her, not a single emotion was displayed on her face.
“I’m here to apply for the job. I hear you’re in need of a live-in nanny,” she said.
“Do you have experience?” I asked, struggling to keep up the act.
“Not a bit, but I look prepared.” She gestured to the boxes by her feet. “Your sister helped me shop.”
I pulled her against me, so completely overwhelmed by emotion I might have forgotten the sleeping baby upstairs if she hadn’t poked me in the ribs.
“Is my charge upstairs? For financial reasons, I need to start pretty much immediately.” I looked down to find her grinning at me.
“Sleeping like a baby.” Grinning like a fool, I released her and bent to scoop up the boxes. “You’re amazing, you know.”
She laughed. “You may change your mind when you see how much more there still is in my car.”
We carried everything we could upstairs and set it down in the living room. I flipped on the lamp, bathing the room in light for the first time, and it was then I saw what I’d missed when I’d come in before. Her couch sat in the place of my dilapidated one and stacks of boxes were pushed up against the back wall.
“How did you do all of this?” I asked, incredulously. “I was only gone five hours.”
“Your family is massive and very determined when given a task. Scott took charge, but everyone chipped in and helped.” Her lips quirked up on one side. “Are you tired of surprises yet?”
“Not when they look like you.” I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her hair. She might have moved her stuff into my apartment, but she was my home. “Are you sure about this?”
She put her hand on my chest and pushed back to look up at me. “I’m sure I love you,” she said, as if it was as simple as that. “We’ll figure the rest out.”
“We haven’t even talked about him. Or his mother,” I added reluctantly.
“I’m pretty good at math, Luke. I know that Lucien came along way before I did. Besides, your sister filled me in about Vanessa.” Of course, Sophie had. If there was anything I could count on, it was my family backing me … and Sierra too, apparently. I suddenly felt invincible with her by my side.
Just as I dipped my head to kiss the bravest, most optimistic woman I knew, Lucien began to cry.
He was my responsibility. Any other woman would have left me to clean up my mess by myself, but Sierra pushed away from me and shot me a wry smile. “Reality calls, daddy.”
It was no surprise that I wasn’t the one who got to him first.
A Recipe For Disaster
By Vanessa Marie
Nothing good came from my work phone ringing as the sun set on my day off.
"Blitzken," I answered.
"Jake, I need you to track. We just had a call come out about an armed suspect taking off into the woods. Male, Caucasian, early thirties. Witnesses say he had a shotgun in his hands when he ditched the car," my lieutenant said.
"Shit."
"Everyone else is tied up. I'll send you the coordinates where he was last seen."
"It'll take us a few to get ready and get to my cruiser. Make sure they set up a perimeter and no one else goes in until we get there."
"Copy that."
I groaned as we hung up.
"They seriously aren't cal
ling you in? It's Thanksgiving! Even you’ve said this is your first Thanksgiving off in like forever," Tessa yelled as she threw her oven mitt across the counter.
I gave her a half shrug and turned to go get dressed. She was having none of it as she followed hot on my heels. "Jake! Don't ignore me! Call them back and tell them to find someone else."
A low growl emanated from the back of my throat as I whipped around to face her. "There is no one else. Do you not understand that? Assholes don't stop being assholes so we can have a holiday celebration and spend time together as a family. You knew going into this marriage what you were signing up for, so stop getting pissed off at me every time it happens."
"If I'd known I'd be spending most of my time alone, then maybe I'd have rethought the entire situation!" she yelled back as she stormed out of the room.
It wasn't the first time we'd had this fight. Most newlyweds were still in the honeymoon stage of their marriage, but we were struggling to find a balance. She wasn't used to the callouts, crazy hours, and shifts that ended hours after they should have. It wasn't for the faint of heart and I didn't have time to coddle her bruised ego. I had a scumbag to catch.
It was time for the hunt.
My heart thundered against my ribs as nerve endings exploded with an overload of endorphins. Adrenaline spiked and danced across my skin. Every sense was on high alert knowing we were walking into an ambush. With the snap of each brittle twig under my boots with every step we took deeper into the woods and rustle of leaves that carried in the cool, crisp November air, dread seeped further into my bones. I watched my partner's movements intently as he tracked the suspect we were hunting. Amadeus was more than just my canine partner. He was my heart and I was his soul. Ami's head whipped up from the ground, catching a wind scent as he sniffed the air. His ears lay back against his head and the hair on the scruff of his neck stood at full attention; I knew we were onto the bastard. He pulled hard against his harness and lead, jerking us forward.
Most tracks didn't bother me, and we only tracked for felonies, but I was a little on edge knowing what I did about this scumbag. He'd stabbed his girlfriend and her mom about seventeen times each before stealing a rifle and their car. So not only was he fucking insane, he was armed with at least two different weapons, and could already have the gun trained on us in an ambush. I didn't like the idea of being a sitting duck.
"He's got something," I said to Aaron Michaels the rookie K9 officer behind me.
Even though I had a cover officer with me, I trusted no one else with my life the way I trusted Ami, and it didn't matter that the person I trusted the most was on four legs instead of two. We were the life blood that flowed through each other's veins.
We followed Ami's lead deeper and deeper into the darkness with only the sound of his tired pants and the crunch of the leaves beneath our boots surrounding us.
His head whipped into the air like it had earlier but I knew from the way he caught the scent and lunged that we'd found him. Everything else happened in a blur. The all too familiar click of a shotgun being racked from somewhere in the direction Ami wanted to go confirmed my biggest fear. We were an easy mark in this psycho's crosshairs. The flash of light and the resulting boom when the suspect's gun fired echoed in my ears—the suspect’s harrowing screams filled the night as Ami's menacing snarls followed behind them.
His capture would be one none of us would ever forget.
Nine hours. From the time I got the call until I walked through my front door, nine fucking hours. It wasn't easy to leave the job at work when I walked through the door. Not when we'd been shot at and things could have gone very differently. We did our part, but it didn't feel like enough and that didn't sit well with me.
Ami ran past me and leaped onto the couch. "Nein! Runter du bist total verdreckt, du Arschloch," I hissed at him as my aggravation spilled over. He was still filthy from the woods and I didn't want him on the couch.
If he'd had fingers, he would have flipped me off. He didn't even bother to lift his head at my yelling. His eyes were closed and he was already snoring.
Fucking dog. I ran my hands through his grungy mane and whispered a quick I love you to my best friend. How easy it was for him to leave the job at the door. To know as soon as he walked into the house he was off duty and the rules of work no longer applied. He could be a sloppy house pet who ignored me and did as he pleased. If only I knew how to follow his lead.
It was after 4:00 a.m. and all I wanted to do was take a hot shower and fall into bed, but Ami desperately needed a bath too. After the track we had to stop by the precinct to go through all the interviews and mounds of paperwork. I hosed him down enough to get the asshole's blood off of him in the locker room showers. But we were too tired to fool with all the mud tonight. Taking a second glance at him, I knew the battle wouldn't be worth it and I'd just clean him up tomorrow.
Tess walked out of the bedroom, yawning. Her long dark hair was swept up into a messy bun with hair sticking in every direction. She rubbed her tired blue eyes and shot me a smile that screamed exhaustion. She stood clad in nothing but one of my NYPD T-shirts and her panties. She'd waited up for us even though she was pissed when we’d left. "You guys okay? I got worried when you didn't text me back."
I rubbed the back of my neck, stifling a yawn of my own. "I'm sorry, doll. Things got crazy and I didn't have a chance."
We'd had a whirlwind romance and married quickly without her really grasping the kind of life she'd be taking on. In the last month, since we'd tied the knot, I think she was getting a better idea but it hadn't been easy.
"Did you catch him?"
I nodded, my mouth pulling into a frown. I didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't a talker. Heading for the laundry room, I peeled off my sweat soaked, blood and mud stained uniform. The rip of the Velcro from my Kevlar vest was a sound I knew brought her comfort every time she heard it. It meant I'd made it home in one piece, even if she wasn't happy with me.
She leaned against the doorway with her arms wrapped around herself as I finished undressing—her eyes filled with worry. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." My voice was harsher than I'd meant for it to be.
Tess huffed. I knew that huff and I hated it. Even though we were still in the honeymoon stage, that huff meant she was disappointed in me and it was like a knife to my gut.
"Why won't you ever tell me what's going on? Every time you get called out, you come home in these moods—like you're mad at me, or something. If you caught the guy you should be happy, not this." She gestured at me, as if that explained it all. "And you should have told them no when they called. It was your day off and it was Thanksgiving—which I had to spend alone."
Taking three strides, I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to her forehead. "I can't tell them no. You knew going into this that I'd get called out and that I work on holidays. Remember, assholes—"
"Don't stop being assholes because it's Thanksgiving. Yeah, I know. I got it," she finished for me.
She tried to wrap her arms around me, but I stepped back, out of her reach.
"I'm covered in someone's blood and probably covered in poison ivy too. Let me hop in the shower first." As I sidestepped her to head to the shower, I didn't miss the way her face fell further and the questions swirled in her eyes when I mentioned the word blood.
It was a hard line we were still figuring out. How much I told her and how much of it all I kept to myself. There were a lot of burdens to carry with this job and I didn't want to dump them on her. I didn't want to steal her light and her belief there was still good in the world. She believed it so fiercely that it gave me hope. And I needed something positive like her to balance out how jaded I felt at times. She wasn't a badge bunny and she wasn't with me because of what I did.
As I stepped under the shower’s spray I groaned in satisfaction. The water beat down on me, doing its best to wash away the memories of the night—of Ami tracking his heart out and getting r
ewarded by ripping the dickface's calf muscle off. I didn't feel sorry for him. He shouldn't have run. He shouldn't have tried to shoot us and he most certainly shouldn't have punched my dog. Ami showed that slimeball who was boss and left him screaming like a bitch in the mud.
When a suspect ran into the woods, at night—he had the advantage. Having time to hide and when he's armed … we became marks. That was exactly what happened. It put Ami and me both at greater risk, but it's our job to go into the knee-high grass, and hope our perimeter was set properly. But telling Tess any of that would make her worry more than she already did.
"Jake! Jake, help me!" she yelled, her voice quivering in panic.
Without a moment's hesitation I jumped out of the shower and sprinted into the bedroom. I wasn't sure what I was expecting to find, but I came to an abrupt halt at the sight before me.
Ami was standing over Tess as she lay on the bed, straddling her with all four paws, humping away.
I snorted and doubled over laughing. All the tension of the evening drained away as I laughed harder.
"It's not funny! Get him off me!" she shrieked and pushed against the black fur of the ninety-pound attacker who held her in place.
"Like father, like son," I said chuckling and closed the distance to the bed. "Runter," I commanded and swatted him on the back hip.
Ami whipped his head in my direction. His tongue was hanging out as he panted, dripping slobber all over Tess's chest.
"Get down, asshole." I repeated my favorite term of endearment in English and gave him another nudge. He snorted and jumped down. If he could talk, I was pretty sure his name for me would be motherfucker. It was our thing and it worked. Our sheets were covered with dried mud. If I could have high-fived him for making her squeal like that, I would have. It was the kind of laugh I needed after the night we'd had.
Tess covered her face with her hands and shook her head back and forth. "I can't believe I was just violated by your dog. Again."