Geoff was shocked as shit. Vicki and Janelle had been as thick as thieves for as long as he could remember. He stood up and gave her a hug. “Thank you.”
“She’s my sister, and I love her, but sometimes the woman can be a right pain in the ass.” She returned his hug. “And I want you to know that the quilt is just a symbol. You do with it what you think best.” She left as Len came in and started making breakfast, the two of them exchanging greetings as they passed.
“What did she want?” Len mused as he started breakfast.
“To let me know that she’s not Aunt Janelle.” Geoff watched as she got into her car and drove away.
While they were eating breakfast, the guys showed up, and Geoff gave them their paychecks. Payday was usually on Monday, but Geoff had told the men that he would have everything ready on Saturday if they wanted to stop by. Len poured cups of coffee, and everyone chatted. Even though it was Saturday, there were still chores to be done and animals to feed, but the workload was much less than during the week, so the chores were divvied up and everyone left, getting done quickly so they could have the rest of the day free. Joey walked in as the guys were leaving, so he and Len went out for his lesson.
The rest of the day was typical for a Saturday. In the afternoon it rained, so they spent the time relaxing and watching a few movies, with Geoff checking the Weather Channel from time to time.
In the morning, Geoff got up and brushed the horses before pulling the truck and trailer around to the barn door. He loaded the blankets, saddles, and tack into the bins inside and then loaded the horses. To his surprise, both Kirk and Twilight went in without a fuss. Maybe they were getting used to him, or maybe it was the treats he’d placed in the feed bags. He closed the door of the horse trailer.
“Morning, Geoff.” Eli was looking at the truck and trailer very curiously. “What’s this?”
“It’s a horse trailer.” Geoff checked that everything was secure, went inside to get the cooler and lunch he’d packer earlier, and met Eli by the truck. “Get in. We’re going for a ride.” Eli looked a little dubious, but opened the door and got into the truck. Geoff started the engine and slowly pulled down the drive and onto the road. He drove carefully, taking the country roads until he got close to town, and then he turned onto Ludington Avenue as they headed toward the lake. Eli was watching everything, taking it all in as they drove.
“Have you been here before?” Geoff asked.
He nodded his head slowly. “Papa only went into Scottville, and only when he absolutely had to, but my uncle sells bread on the road to the state park during the summer, so I’ve been here with him a few times.” They turned north onto Lakeshore Drive. “Are we going to the state park?”
“Yes, I thought we could ride on the beach.”
Eli’s face lit like a beacon. “I’ve never been any closer than the cutoff where Uncle sells bread.”
“Then you’re in for a treat. I thought we could park the trailer, unload the horses, and ride up the beach to the lighthouse, have a picnic, and then ride back.”
Eli was so excited, he was practically bouncing, and Geoff smiled at the younger man’s excitement. They drove for a good ten or fifteen minutes before reaching the park entrance. Geoff waved to the ranger as they passed through the gate and then pulled into the first parking lot. “The lake is just over there.” He pointed, and Eli got out, running in that direction. Geoff shook his head as he got out of the truck and began unloading the horses.
Eli returned, excitement written all over his face. “The lake’s so big you can’t see the other side.” He loved Eli’s innocence, the look on his face when he saw something new, but it scared him too.
“There’s a pan in the back of the truck. Would you fill it from the jugs? I want the horses to have a drink before we start.” Eli rushed off and got the pan, filling it with water. Eli held Twilight’s reins while she drank, and Geoff unloaded Kirk and let him drink as well.
“You’ll need a jacket; there’s one for you in the back seat,” Geoff said.
When they were ready, they put away the pan, shut and locked the truck, and walked the horses across the parking lot and onto the beach.
The breeze was brisk and refreshing as they rode north down the beach. The sound of the waves and wind, gulls and boats, the smell of the water and the horses, the sun on the waves and the swath of sand all combined to fill their senses. They rode side by side, watching each other as the horses walked along.
“This is so beautiful. I never knew….” The rest of what Eli said was carried away by the wind, but Geoff could see the delight on Eli’s face, and he returned his smile.
Beneath him, Geoff could feel Kirk straining, wanting to run, but it was too dangerous. The sand held many things that couldn’t be seen until it was too late, so he kept talking to him, keeping him calm. Slowly, he could feel the tension leave his mount, just like his own worries and cares blew away with the wind.
Eli pointed as something tall appeared on the horizon. Geoff signaled to the horses, and they both stopped. “That’s the Point Sable Lighthouse.”
“But what is it?”
“Ships use them to determine where they are at night. That one was built in the 1860s. We can go right up to it, and you can climb it if you want.”
“Yeah?”
“Sure, come on.” They rode the rest of the way and dismounted as they approached the break wall. Eli looked up at the lighthouse. “There are stairs on the inside. I’ll stay here with the horses.” Eli nodded and started walking toward the door. Geoff watched, and ten minutes later, he saw Eli waving at him from the railing. He waved back and watched as he circled the light, looking out in every direction. He waved again and then disappeared, reappearing at ground level, running toward him.
“That was….” Eli tried to describe the feeling but couldn’t. “That was unbelievable. I never knew you could go so high, and the wind, it felt like it wanted me to fly.”
“I know. There’s a great view of the beach and the park from up there.” There were surprisingly few people around, “We can tie the horses to that post and sit for a while.”
Eli smiled, and they tethered the horses, sitting at a picnic table nearby.
“There’s something that I want to talk to you about, and you may find it difficult. But I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding.” Eli’s eyes widened, but he met Geoff’s gaze, curious about what Geoff wanted to know. “This is hard for me too.”
“Then just speak plain.”
Geoff smiled to himself—spoken like an Amish man. “I think I know why you’ve been grooming and saddling my horse each morning, bringing in wildflowers, and baking my favorite bread. And I have to ask you plain, are you courting me?”
Eli’s smile faded and color rose in his cheeks as his gaze shifted down to the table top. Shit… I was wrong and I’ve embarrassed him.
“I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” Eli got up from the table and walked toward the lake, turning his back to Geoff, shoulders slumped.
“Eli… Eli,” Geoff got up and touched the young man’s shoulder. “Eli….”
He turned around, eyes full, the tears ready to spill down his wind reddened cheeks.
“Eli, you didn’t do anything wrong. I was just asking because I needed to be sure. After all, by bringing you here today, I was sort of courting you.”
“You were?” Eli wiped his eyes.
“Come sit down.” Eli followed Geoff back to the table and sat, wiping the moisture from his eyes. “I just wanted to be sure. Because there are other questions I need you to think about.” Eli nodded. “You have to know that what you’re doing will not be condoned by your family or others in the Amish community. I don’t want you to think I don’t care for you, because I do. But you have to know what you’re doing and what it means.” He stroked the back of Eli’s hand with his fingers. “And you have to tell me.”
Eli looked up from the table and into Geoff’s eyes. “Tell you what?”<
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“You have to say the words. You have to tell me what you’re feeling, what you think you’re feeling. I have to know that you aren’t confused, that you’ll be happy being with me, that this is what you want. You’ve been away from the Amish community for a little over a month, and I just need you to think about what it is that you truly want.”
“Are you telling me ‘no’?”
Geoff shook his head and continued stroking Eli’s hand. “I’m telling you that you need to be sure. I know what I want. I really do, but I need to make sure you know what you want, because you are the one with the most to lose.”
Eli’s eyes cleared, and his face hardened into a fierce look Geoff had never seen before. “Do you think I don’t know my own mind? Or what it is I’m feeling? That I’m some ignorant kid who doesn’t know his own mind enough to know what he wants?”
Geoff lowered his eyes slightly. “No, but I care about you too much to hurt you.” This wasn’t going the way he expected, but at least Eli was listening. He kept stroking Eli’s hand, wanting some sort of contact between them.
Finally Geoff said, “Let’s head back to the truck. I packed a picnic lunch, and afterward we can ride the horses into the park.” Eli just nodded and started to get up. Geoff reached for him, bringing their faces close together and then kissing him ever so gently before backing away again.
“You kissed me.” Eli smiled as he touched his lips with his finger. “A girl kissed me once a few years ago.”
“Did you like it when she kissed you?”
Eli smirked. “It certainly didn’t feel like that.”
The little Amish smartass. Geoff raised his eyebrows. “Like what?”
“Like the fireworks I saw once from our farm.” Geoff couldn’t help smiling at Eli’s description of a simple kiss, not that he’d disagree. They mounted the horses and headed back along the beach, smiling at each other like kids who had just discovered ice cream. When they reached the truck, they watered the horses again and led them into the trailer. The sky was looking darker, and they decided to forego a ride in the park and just have lunch and head back to the farm.
Geoff got out the food while Eli made sure the horses had hay and treats. By the time the horses were settled, the picnic was laid out, and they sat down at the table.
“Geoff, there’s something I need to tell you. Amish men do not court lightly or frivolously.”
“I didn’t think you did.” Geoff handed him a sandwich and a container of fresh fruit.
Eli took a bite and set the sandwich on his plate. “About four years ago, I had a crush on Adam, a boy from the neighboring farm. He’s a friend, and we helped each other with chores. It was then that I realized I was different but didn’t realize there were other people like me. I thought it was the devil or something, and I tried to pray it away, wish it away, anything so I could be like everyone else.”
Geoff opened a Coke and handed it to Eli, who looked at the can funny, sipped it, and smiled.
“I started reading what the Bible said about it, but that just confused me more. So I decided never to act on my feelings and to just push them away. But all I did was retreat into work and away from others. When you’re my age, most social occasions are designed for courting, so I avoided them and remained behind to work.”
“You must have felt all alone.”
“I did and I have, until I met you and Len and realized that there are other people like me and they can be loved for who they are. What’s amazing to me is that I’m not alone.” Eli took a deep breath and released it. “Geoff, I’m Elijah Henninger, and I’m gay.”
Geoff stroked Eli’s cheek, and they smiled at each other as Eli leaned into the touch.
The wind started to pick up, drawing Geoff’s attention. “I’m sorry, but I think we need to get going.”
Eli got right up from the table and started packing away their half-eaten lunch as Geoff started hauling things into the truck. Geoff checked on the horses one last time and then pulled out of the parking lot and out of the park. Ten minutes later, they turned east off Lakeshore Drive and headed toward the farm with Geoff driving as fast as he dared. He pressed the speed dial on his phone and handed it to Eli. “Len should answer. Tell him we’re on our way and ask for help unloading the horses as soon as we arrive.”
He heard Eli talking to Len as he concentrated on driving through the wind that was buffeting the trailer.
They pulled into the yard as lightning flashed and thunder cracked loudly, vibrating through them. Geoff stopped in front of the barn and rushed to open the trailer. Len hurried out and helped them get Twilight out of the trailer while Geoff got Kirk out and led him to his stall. Len went back outside and closed up the trailer and ran in the house as the sky opened up.
In the barn, Geoff removed Kirk’s saddle, blanket, and bridle and patted the majestic stallion’s neck before leaving the stall and putting away the tack. Eli had just finished putting away Twilight’s. The rain was pounding on the roof, coming down in sheets. “We should wait here until the rain lets up.”
Eli came close. “What should we do ’til then?” He smiled, and Geoff slowly leaned forward, touching their lips together. Eli moaned softly as Geoff deepened the kiss just a little. Eli started to pull Geoff closer, but Geoff resisted, his mind insisting that they needed to go slowly. He pulled back, smiling into that angelic face. “It’s letting up. We should go inside.” Putting his arm around Eli’s waist, he led him out of the barn, and they made a dash to the house.
The rest of the day was wet and rainy. Just before dinner, they put on raincoats and checked on the animals before retreating to the house once more. As the evening wore on, Geoff said good-night and went up to bed, climbing between the sheets, listening to the rain on the roof. He was just dozing off when he felt, rather than heard or saw, the door to his bedroom open.
“Geoff.” Eli was standing in the doorway, dressed in pajamas. Slowly the door closed, and he felt Eli’s weight on the bed as he joined him under the covers. Geoff pulled him close, Eli’s warmth and scent and the sound of his breathing lulling him into a deep, happy sleep. This was what he’d been missing all those years: the closeness, the real intimacy, the sweet thought that Eli was here because he cared, and the love.
Geoff was such a goner.
Chapter 9
GEOFF SAT in his office, head lost in the clouds, his thoughts on Eli rather than the ledgers and accounts, where they should be. Outside, the early June sun was shining. The windows were open, with a wonderful breeze blowing through the house. He should be content and happy, he really should, but he was miserable. In the last week, he’d picked up a summer cold from somewhere, and the damn thing wouldn’t go away. Len had confined him to the house, and he’d reluctantly agreed because they didn’t need the rest of the crew getting sick as well. Outside he could hear all the farm activity going on around him, and it made him restless.
A cough wracked his frame, and he closed the ledger and turned off the computer. There was no way he was getting anything done anyway. Giving up on work, he left the office and turned on the television, lying on the sofa in the living room after closing the curtains. All that was on were stupid daytime talk shows, so he quickly gave up, turned the television back off, and dragged himself upstairs to bed.
The cool sheets felt good as he climbed into the bed that felt huge without Eli there next to him. Except for the last few days, Eli had been sleeping with him almost every night. He would get ready for bed and come into Geoff’s room, joining him under the covers. Eli always wore his cotton pajamas to bed, while Geoff generally wore sleep pants. Every night, they would kiss and hold one another, but Geoff made no move to go any further. That was strictly up to Eli. He’d promised himself and told Eli the morning after he’d first joined him in bed that they’d take things as slow as he wanted.
Actually, the truth was that the two of them sleeping together this way was probably one of the most erotic experiences of his life. He’d had ho
t, athletic sex with very attractive men—pounding-each-other-into-the-mattress type sex—but nothing was more erotic than this wonderfully warm, kind, sweet, innocent man with a fierce fire just below the surface coming into his bedroom each night to sleep with him, that work-hardened body pressed to his, their skin separated by thin layers of cotton, his scent drifting into Geoff’s nose each time he breathed.
Geoff’s eyes became exceedingly heavy, and he closed them, drifting into a rough and disjointed sleep. He woke some time later, unsure of what time it was. He could hear people moving in the house, but his room was dark. He’d finally found a comfortable position, so he didn’t move and let sleep take him again. Hell, he was just grateful that he wasn’t coughing his lungs out any more. This time his sleep was empty, no dreams, no thoughts, just empty. A few times, brief images of Eli or Len crossed his mind, and sometimes he felt like he was swimming underwater, but then there was blankness and nothing.
He opened his eyes. The room was dark, and there was something over his mouth and nose. He tried to take it off, but he was too tired, so he left it. He could breathe anyway, so what did it matter? Turning his head, he could see someone sitting in a chair next to his bed, but he really couldn’t make sense of it. Why was Eli sitting in a chair instead of sleeping next to him? He tried to talk, but his throat was sore and so dry he just couldn’t. And besides, he was warm and comfortable, so he closed his eyes again and let everything slip away.
When he opened his eyes again, the room was brighter, and he could tell that the thing over his mouth and nose was an oxygen mask and that he was in a hospital bed. Slowly looking around the room, he saw that he was alone. How long have I been here? There wasn’t much in the room, but lifting his eyes, he could see a digital clock that told him it was just after what he assumed to be eight in the morning on June tenth. June tenth! The last thing he could remember was going to bed two days ago. I must have been really sick.
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