by Christi Snow
Two hours later, she understood how the base had played into her attack. She’d also spent way too much time discussing every single person in her life who may or may not hate her enough to try to hurt her.
As she pulled her truck out of the parking lot, it occurred to her that this trip to the police station hadn’t helped at all. She’d hoped to settle her nerves, but instead, it had done the complete opposite.
Chapter Eleven
Two days later, Felicia had just finished up with her last patient and was going through some scheduling details at the front desk when she looked up to find Steven swaggering into her waiting room. He wore cowboy boots, worn jeans, and a T-shirt that molded to all his heavily defined muscles, and he had a gorgeous smile aimed just at her.
Briggs and Megan both sighed heavily at the beautiful sight. She laughed at the two of them, trying to ignore the little niggle that the sight of him didn’t leave her sighing with passion. What was wrong with her? He was a handsome, well-built man with the personality to match. She should be burning with lust every time she saw him. But she just...wasn’t.
She came from behind the counter and met his embrace since no one occupied the waiting room besides her staff. “Hey, you. You’re giving my staff happy thoughts.” She waved a hand at both Briggs and Megan, who unabashedly stared at Steven like they never got to see good-looking men come through those doors.
“Yes,” Briggs said with a raised eyebrow. “You can come in any old time you want. The waiting room always looks better with man candy in it.”
Steven laughed good naturedly, now used to her staff unapologetically drooling over him.
She gave him a light kiss as he pulled her into his arms. “You look like a man on a mission.”
He smiled his most flirty smile. “I am. I’m in need of some serious fun and stress relief. Think you feel up to going out to ride at Billy’s? You mentioned last night that you were barely in any pain. Are you still feeling good today?” He leaned back to examine her.
She nodded. “I’m good. A ride sounds fantastic.” The summer days in the New Mexico desert were scorching, but evenings were the perfect time to go out. If they were lucky, they’d get an amazing sunset to go along with some stress relief. “Let me just finish up here and then I’ll need to change.” Her tennis shoes wouldn’t give her good enough protection for Billy’s ranch.
As she turned back toward the counter, her staff waved her out the door. “We got this,” Megan instructed. “Go ahead and have fun with your man.”
“You remember how to activate the new nighttime security system?”
“We got it, boss,” Briggs said. “We’ve all practiced it multiple times. I’m thinking between the three of us here, we should be able to figure it out. If not, we have your cell phone. Go. Have fun. Just don’t hurt yourself.”
“Thanks, guys.” She turned to Steven with a shrug. “It sounds like I’m all yours for the evening.”
He growled and pushed her toward the back door that led to her house. “I have to admit, I like the sound of that.”
THIRTY MINUTES LATER, they pulled up in a cloud of dust in front of Billy’s barn. She’d called from her house to make sure it was okay for them to come out. He already had a couple of horses saddled for them.
They’d brought her truck because it was more suited for the gravel and dirt roads than Steven’s Toyota Avalon. But he’d driven, so she climbed out of the passenger side. “I didn’t call ahead so you could do all the work, Starr,” she called to Billy.
He winked at her. “I didn’t mind. I figured you didn’t need to be hauling around heavy saddles with that side still healing.”
Steven came around the truck to join them. “And what am I? Chopped liver?” Steven asked with a raised eyebrow. “I could have done it.”
Billy reached across and shook Steven’s hand in greeting. “Yeah. Good to see you, Steven. Honestly, I figured your time would be better used riding.”
“Thanks, man,” Steven said.
“You guys planning to stay out until sunset?” Billy asked.
Felicia nodded. “Probably, but we’ll take care of the horses when we come back in, so don’t worry about it. Relax for the night.”
“Hey, with the new help you sent me, I’m getting to relax more than I ever thought possible. Thanks for that. He’s a good worker.”
Billy was talking about Austin, Gage’s son. Just having Gage referenced in a very negligent way sent a warm zing down low in her belly. Bad body.
“Oh, good. I’m glad he’s working out for you.” And she didn’t want to run into him. She didn’t need any more reminders of Gage. It was better to push him far, far, far out of her mind.
“Well, we better head out, or we’re going to miss prime hours. Thanks, Billy.” She swung up into Macy’s saddle. The extremely mild-tempered blue roan was exactly the horse she needed today...one with an easy gait who wouldn’t put up much fuss.
Steven followed her, doing the same on the chestnut named Sinner, who liked to live up to his name. He was a frisky horse who liked to test his rider. Steven could more than handle him, though.
They’d been riding for more than fifteen minutes when Felicia had to break the silence. Normally, Steven was quiet, and she was good with that, but tonight, he seemed much tenser than normal. “Is everything okay? You’re really quiet.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I’m just enjoying being out with you and soaking in the quiet. It’s been a long, stressful week. I needed this. Thanks for indulging me.”
“You never have to thank me for going out riding. You know I love it, too. I’m just thankful to have Billy as a friend who allows me to use his horses as my own.”
“It is nice. I never realized how much New Mexico had to offer.” Originally from Chicago, Steven had never lived in the Southwest until he moved to Terravista.
“Do you miss the city still?”
He shook his head. “No, I’ve been in the Air Force too long for me to miss it much anymore. Besides the perks here far outweigh anything about the city that might tempt me back.”
They rode for a bit farther, following along a dry creek bed.
Steven cleared his throat. “Actually, I’ve been thinking more and more that for the first time in my life, this feels like home.”
Everything inside Felicia stilled. Was he saying what it sounded like he was saying? “I...” She cleared her throat. “I thought you wanted to put twenty years into the Air Force.”
At twenty years, he could retire with his military benefits intact. He only had sixteen right now.
“That had been the plan, but sometimes, something comes along and priorities shift. All this bullshit that I thought was so important before...” He hesitated, and she could see him clench his jaw. “It just... isn’t. It may be time to reexamine everything I thought was a priority before.”
She frowned, trying to search his words for the real meaning. He could be referring to her, but it sounded more like he was just epically frustrated with his job. Was Gage giving him a hard time? Was Steven actually considering getting out of the Air Force when he was so close to earning retirement? Guilt assailed her. Whether it was because of their relationship or the strife her past relationship with Gage now caused between Steven and his new boss, there was no doubt that she probably had something to do with this turn in attitude.
She gave him an encouraging smile. “You’ve had a long week, hon. I know you’ve been working crazy hours.”
“Only because I refuse to require my men to work any longer than I’m willing to do myself,” he growled.
“And that’s admirable, but you probably should wait to make important life decisions until you’ve had a bit of time to step away from the stress and see what you really want.”
Steven pulled Sinner to a stop and scowled at her. “You think I’m wrong? That I shouldn’t want to make New Mexico my home?”
“I think,” she said slowly, “that you’re less than four years from retirement and that you shouldn
’t make snap judgments when you’re stressed about your job.”
“What about when I’m happy with everything outside my job?” His gaze was intense, probing.
Felicia squirmed internally. Could she commit to more with Steven? A month ago, there would have been no question in the matter. Now...she shied past the reasons why she questioned forever with him now. “I just think you shouldn’t make snap judgments when everything could change for you next week.”
His mouth turned down in a frown as his posture stiffened. He clicked his tongue at Sinner. The horse lurched forward, leaving Felicia and Macy behind. The rest of the ride was virtually silent as they rode over Billy’s ranch, watching the sunset. Steven turned back toward the barn, riding ahead of her.
Her side was starting to really ache, and she realized that she was going to regret not taking some painkillers before riding. Felicia blew out a deep breath. “What am I going to do, Macy?” She patted the horse’s neck.
Steven was frustrated right now. That wasn’t even up for debate. He had never talked with her about work before, but maybe it might help for him to talk it out, to vent his frustrations to her. That’s what a good girlfriend would do for him.
Resolved, she followed Steven into the corral outside the barn and gingerly lowered from the saddle. Steven’s hands settled low on her hips, helping her down. She hadn’t heard him walk up, but the help was much appreciated since she’d definitely overdone it tonight.
Her back was still to him, but he tugged her into his strong chest and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a crappy week. It’s not fair to take that out on you.”
She turned in his arms and tilted her head, studying him in the darkening night. His eyes glittered, and the planes of his strong face were highlighted in the spotlight from the barn, although the tiny details of his expression were hidden in the shadows. She cupped his cheek. “It’s okay. I’m here for you. It might help to talk it out. I know that it’s been a bad week at work. What’s going on?”
Steven’s lips thinned, and for a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to answer her. “It’s all just military political B.S. The new wing commander has to make his mark. If he’s lucky, he’ll have a year and a half to leave his legacy on the base, so they always come in guns blazing. That’s just the way it is, but dammit, it’s really frustrating.”
Steven pulled out of her arms and started pacing. “He’s being a total asshole and taking it out on the maintenance guys. It’s summer. My guys have been working their asses off all year. Most of them have barely seen their families. They have vacations planned, but he’s cancelled all leave until we can catch up on the upgrades on the plane. Something that we physically can’t do any faster. So, my guys are out money, time with their families, and the worst...their morale. Just so he can feed his ego and stroke the two-star by showing he’s doing everything he can to make his troops jump. How can he do that to the families?”
Felicia didn’t know how to answer. That sounded so unlike the Gage she knew, but truthfully, what did she really know about the man he’d become?
A sad, bitter voice with a hollow laugh came from the dark. “He can do that because family means nothing to him. He trashed his own. Why would he care about anyone else’s?”
Felicia swung around. “Austin, I didn’t know you were still here.”
Austin stepped out of the shadows. His eyes glittered with pain.
Her heart broke for the young man shaking with so much anger and hurt toward his father.
“I told Billy I’d stay and brush down your horses when you got back,” Austin said, grabbing the reins for Macy.
“Thanks,” she said softly, wanting to wrap the hurting teen up in her arms. Normally, she wasn’t touchy-feely with people that she barely knew, but the pain Austin vibrated with spoke to her. Maybe because he looked like the younger version of Gage that she’d known and loved.
“Sorry, Austin,” Steven said, his voice apologetic. “I didn’t realize you were Billy’s new help. If I’d realized, I certainly wouldn’t have been talking about your dad like that, not that I don’t stand behind what I said, because I do. But no kid deserves to hear someone bad-mouthing their parent. That’s on me. Sorry.”
Steven cast an irritated glance at Felicia. “Why don’t you go up to the house? Rest that side and hang out with Billy. I’ll help Austin take care of the horses.”
She could feel the waves of anger flowing off of Steven. It would probably help to let him cool down a bit, so she nodded. “Okay, thanks.”
The ranch house wasn’t far from the barn, but Felicia didn’t really feel like answering Billy’s questions. Instead, she just went over to her truck and climbed into the passenger’s seat to wait for Steven.
Instead of focusing on her male problem, she closed her eyes and went through the treatments that she’d prescribed for her patients the last few days. Before she was ready, the driver’s side door opened, and she sat up with a start.
For a moment after Steven got into the truck, he just sat and stared into the dark field in front of them.
Felicia waited.
“Why didn’t you mention that you’d gotten Colonel Winston’s son a job on your best friend’s ranch?”
He made it sound like it was a bigger deal than it was. “It didn’t mean anything...”
“Felicia!” Steven sputtered out her name like a curse word.
It shut her up immediately. He’d never taken that offended, angry tone with her before. Her eyes filled with tears.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. “I’m sorry,” Steven finally said. “It’s just been a long, fucking week where I’ve had to deal with all kinds of crap from your ex-boyfriend. Then to top it off, to see that you still have all these small ties to him in ways I don’t even understand...” The sound of his teeth grinding filled the cab of the truck. “I’m sorry, it’s just more than I can deal with today. Let me take you home, and I’ll take some time to cool off.”
“Okay,” she said quietly, hating that her actions had brought him to the point where he lost his temper, something she’d never thought she’d see from Steven.
Without meaning to, she was breaking them, and she had no idea how to fix it.
Chapter Twelve
Gage sat on his couch, waiting, when Austin quietly crept into the house. “You’re late.”
The kid jerked around to find Gage in the darkened living room.
Gage flipped on the light to help him out. After sitting for the last two hours in a mild panic, debating at what point he wouldn’t be overreacting by calling the police and the hospital, Gage was ready for Austin to see the full brunt of his fury...and fear.
Hell, he’d been imagining Austin’s truck mangled and crumpled in a ditch, each vision becoming more gruesome as the night grew later.
Austin glanced down at his phone, supposedly checking the time, but he could have also been checking the hundreds of texts and calls Gage had made over the course of the last two hours. “I’m not that late. Your ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend were out riding after dark. I told Billy I’d take care of their horses before I left.”
Gage hid his reaction over hearing about Felicia and Steven had been out there for what...a date? That didn’t matter right now. He could think about it later. He needed to deal with his errant teen and nip this behavior in the bud, because this was not how things were going to work in Gage’s house.
“Yes, I talked to Billy.” He ignored the flare of alarm that lit up Austin’s eyes. “He said you left two hours ago, so do you want to revise your answer?”
“You called my boss?” Austin flung up his arms. “Oh my god, Dad. I’m not five years old.”
“No, you’re not, but you’re still a minor, and the road in between the ranch and town is filled with deer. I had to check to see if you were dying in a mangled vehicle somewhere. You’re just lucky that I didn’t call the police, and you weren’t escorted home by a cop. The next time you see Billy, y
ou can thank him for going out and checking those ditches for your truck.”
“Da-ad.” The word was moaned so that it had several more syllables than it should have had. “You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Yes, I should have. That’s part of being a parent...I worry. Lucky for you, Billy urged me to wait to call the police. He said that you might have some things that you wanted to work through before coming home. I gave you the benefit of the doubt.”
Billy had made it sound like maybe Austin and Gage should talk, but he hadn’t been willing to explain why. Gage had no idea how to even start with whatever that could be.
Gage softened his voice. “I know all of this change has been hard on you.”
“You don’t know anything.” There was so much anger in Austin’s voice. “And what’s worse is you haven’t even thought to ask. But tonight, I heard that’s the way you run everything.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your ex and her boyfriend were fighting as they came back from riding. It all had something to do with what an asshole you are. Good job, Dad. It sounds like you’re hated equally just about everywhere.”
The words hit Gage like a physical blow to his chest. Of course, he knew that Steven hadn’t liked what he’d done, but to know that Steven was now bad-mouthing him to Felicia...and that Austin had overheard...
Damn. He didn’t want Felicia—or Austin—to think badly of him...and that was so fucked up. The fact that Felicia knowing about it made him pause and reconsider his decisions. That wasn’t how he worked as a commander. He did what he thought was best for the mission.
A civilian’s opinion—or his kid’s—should never factor into it. Only one of the commanders in his chain of command counted. Which neither Felicia nor Austin were.
And right now, none of that crap mattered, not when his son was obviously hurting and maybe trying to deflect the real problem. “What’s going on, Austin? Give me a hint. What do I need to ask? What am I missing?”