A bandaged soldier sitting on the floor next to his cot lifted his head. He asked if I had come for him. I told him I was here to visit my sister.
“When you’re done, come see me,” he said. “You can help with my recovery.”
I walked down the long room. My zori slapped against the tile floor. Another soldier lifted his head off the pillow and nodded at me. A third rolled over and pulled his blanket over his shoulders.
In a corner, separated from the soldiers by a white sheet, I saw someone lying on a mat on the tile floor. I went there and saw it was Soo-hee. My poor onni’s face was pale except for gray circles around her eyes. Her lips were chapped, her hair, greasy and tangled. I knelt and took her hand. It was clammy and cold.
Soo-hee opened her eyes. “Little sister,” she said weakly, “why are you here? You will get in trouble.”
“Seiko talked to the doctor and he said it was okay.”
“Do not trust her, Ja-hee.”
I brushed a strand of hair from Soo-hee’s face. “Onni, you look so sick.”
Soo-hee’s eyes became cloudy and she pushed her head in the pillow. “Ja-hee, I do not think I will recover. I said I would never leave you. I’m sorry.” Tears welled in her eyes.
I came in close. “No, you will not die,” I whispered. “I’ve brought the comb.” I scanned the room and saw that no one was looking. I reached inside my yukata and pulled out the comb. I slipped it into Soo-hee’s hand. “Here,” I said, “take it.”
Soo-hee shook her head. “No. If I die, they will take it. And then the dragon can’t protect you.” She pushed the comb back at me.
“But, Soo-hee, Ummah gave it to you. If you have it, it will help you. It has not helped me.”
“It has helped you, little sister. You must believe in it.”
Suddenly Soo-hee’s eyes grew wide.
“What do we have here?” a voice boomed from behind me. I spun around, and saw the high, black boots of the Kempei-tai.
“Kempei sir,” I said with a gasp. “The doctor gave me permission to visit my sister.”
Lieutenant Tanaka stepped past me and peered down at Soo-hee. “What do you have there in your hand?” Soo-hee wrapped her hand around the comb. He bent down and slapped her hard. He pulled the comb from her hand.
“No!” I cried, lunging for the comb.
Lieutenant Tanaka grabbed a fistful of my hair and held me away. I ignored the pain and fought for the comb but he was too strong. He held the comb up and examined it. “My, my,” he said. “You have been hiding it all this time? You should have given it to your kempei.”
I stopped struggling but Lieutenant Tanaka held on to my hair. “Please sir, let Soo-hee have it,” I pleaded. “It will help her get well.”
“Oh, no, I cannot do that. Colonel Matsumoto should see it, don’t you agree? I’ll give it to him when I tell him why you will not be with him tonight.”
“Kempei, Seiko asked the doctor for permission for me to come here. He said I could.”
“That’s not what Seiko told me. She said you asked her to watch for me so you could sneak in here against orders. Come,” he said with a jerk of my hair, “let’s go see Colonel Matsumoto.”
As Lieutenant Tanaka dragged me away, Soo-hee pushed herself up on an elbow. “Kempei, Sir,” she said, “the comb is mine, not Ja-hee’s. I should be punished for hiding it.”
Lieutenant Tanaka looked down at Soo-hee. “If you’re going to die, girl, do it more quickly,” he said evenly. “And don’t worry about your sister. I will take care of her.”
F OURTEEN
Lieutenant tanaka had a firm grip on my arm as we stood in Colonel Matsumoto’s office. The Colonel studied maps spread across his desk. Dark, rough-hewn wooden beams crisscrossed the high ceiling. Windows with Chinese latticework overlooked a courtyard in the center of Dongfeng. A photograph of Emperor Hirohito hung on a wall, a map of Manchuria hung on another. The white and red military flag of Japan stood in a corner. The Colonel had not bathed after his return from the battlefield and his field uniform was dirty. There were dark circles around his eyes and fatigue creased his once-smooth face.
“Colonel, sir,” Lieutenant Tanaka said, “this girl disobeyed orders and must be punished.”
“What did she do?” he asked, without looking up from his maps.
“She was in a restricted area against my orders.”
“Where?”
“In the infirmary, sir.”
“The infirmary?”
“Yes, sir. Visiting her sister.”
“That is not a serious offense, Lieutenant,” the colonel said. “Why do you bother me with it? I have much more important matters to attend to.”
“Sir, you asked for her tonight. I thought you should know why she won’t be available.”
“Really Lieutenant, is this necessary?”
“Sir, there’s something else you should know. This one has been hiding a comb.” He pulled the comb with the two-headed dragon from his jacket pocket and put it on the desk.
The Colonel gave the lieutenant a hard look. “A comb, Lieutenant? With what is happening in the war, you are concerned that this girl has been hiding a comb?”
“Sir, it shows a lack of discipline.”
The Colonel pushed away from his desk and paced across the wood-planked floor. “Our homeland is under attack, Lieutenant,” he bellowed. “We fight the Americans in the east, the Chinese in the south, and now the Russians in the north. They are less than one-hundred miles away and they are advancing with ten divisions.” He placed his palms on the desk and leaned toward Tanaka. “The Russians are well equipped and well trained. We do not have the forces or the equipment to… ” The Colonel held his eyes on the lieutenant for a moment, and then he took a quick look at me. He sat down and stared at his desk.
Eventually, he noticed the comb. He picked it up and examined it. He asked me where I got it.
I bowed. “From my mother, sir. It has been in our family for a long time.”
The Colonel brought it close to his face. “It… it has a two-headed dragon and its feet have five toes,” he whispered.
“Sir?” I said.
“Five-toed dragon, with two heads.” He looked at me wide-eyed, then turned to Lieutenant Tanaka. “Do not discipline this girl, Lieutenant.”
Lieutenant Tanaka stiffened and pointed to his white armband. “Sir, I am Kempei-tai and I am responsible for the comfort station. I take orders from my own officers. I’m only telling you because she is scheduled with you tonight.”
“Yes, you are Kempei-tai,” Colonel Matsumoto said with a glare, “and I am a colonel, Lieutenant.”
“Yes sir, but I must maintain discipline. For the Emperor. For Japan.”
“For the Emperor. For Japan,” the Colonel repeated slowly. He looked at the comb and ran his finger along the gold spine. He slipped it into his shirt pocket and looked away. Then he said, “I will take Seiko tonight, Lieutenant.”
Lieutenant Tanaka gave a small nod. “Yes sir.” He grabbed me, pushing his fingers hard into my arm. As Lieutenant Tanaka dragged me to the door, I looked over my shoulder at the colonel. Behind his huge desk and alongside the flag of Japan, he looked small.
*
Lieutenant Tanaka called for Private Ishida as he led me into the comfort station courtyard. “Get the rope,” he said. “I have a lesson to give.” The private jumped to his feet. Our eyes met and he hesitated a moment. Then he quickly disappeared around the back of the barracks.
Lieutenant Tanaka pushed me toward the post. I fell to the yellow dirt and he stood over me with his shinai at his side. He ordered me to take off my clothes.
I had always been terrified of getting a beating from Lieutenant Tanaka. I almost fainted when I watched Jin-sook scream and urinate on herself the first day at the comfort station. And I had to fight to stay upright all three times the kempei had beaten Soo-hee. Now for the first time, it was my turn at the post. But I wasn’t afraid. I had turned hard over th
e previous two years.
So I untied my obi and let my yukata fall to the ground. As I slipped off my zori and tabi, I looked out over the courtyard past the road, over the wheat fields, south toward Korea. I tried to remember the place where Soo-hee and I made kimchi in the kitchen of our home, where our mother had combed my hair in front of the fire. But no images came, only the gray of this place where I had been dying each day for the past two years.
Private Ishida returned with the ropes and handed them to Lieutenant Tanaka. The private didn’t look at me as I untied my undergarments and let them fall to the ground.
Lieutenant Tanaka ordered the private to gather the other Korean girls. Then he pushed me against the post. I offered no resistance as he tied my hands and ankles tight to the post. A cool breeze swept over my body. It honestly felt good. The earth, warmed by the afternoon sun, was soothing on my bare feet. The air tasted sweet. I closed my eyes for a minute and heard soft booms to the west. I wondered if it was the Russian cannons. But the Colonel had said the Russians were still far away.
The other girls gathered in the courtyard and stood in a line facing me. When Mee-su saw me tied to the post, she brought her hand to her mouth, but quickly took her place with the others. Seiko and a few other Japanese women sat on their steps and watched as Lieutenant Tanaka finished with the ropes. He began pacing in front of the girls.
“This girl has earned a beating,” he said, slapping his shinai against his boot harder than usual. “When will you learn that you must not displease your kempei? Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think I want to beat you? No! I give you these lessons for your sake, so you will learn to be good Japanese subjects. Soon, we will win the war and you will be glad you are on our side. Now you will watch the punishment without closing your eyes.”
Lieutenant Tanaka approached me. His thin lips were curled up at the ends, but his eyes were like a doll’s eyes, cold and lifeless. I looked past him, south toward Korea.
Then he raised his shinai and brought it down hard on my thighs. The blow shot white-hot flames down my legs and up my back. My stomach clenched hard and my lungs and throat seized sending sharp needles of pain into my head and nose. The Lieutenant struck me again in the same place and the flames from the first blow exploded into a thousand more. My lungs let go and a huge, jagged cry boiled up to my throat. But before it could escape, I grabbed it and choked it back down. And as the kempei beat me, I kept my cries inside where I was dead like stone.
*
I could barely make out Private Ishida’s face as he carried me to the infirmary. He kept his eyes forward and muttered something under his breath about Lieutenant Tanaka. As he carried me up the stairs, the fire in my legs made me moan. The private stopped and carefully shifted my weight in his arms. He slowed his pace and carried me across the ward. He laid me next to Soo-hee.
I couldn’t move my legs and my eyes didn’t focus. My head was heavy on the mat.
“Onni,” I said weakly, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Ja-hee,” my onni said. “You did not do anything wrong.”
“I was strong,” I said. “I didn’t cry.”
Soo-hee reached over and stroked my hair. “I know,” Soo-hee said. Her eyes were red and her face was pale. A tear ran down her cheek. “You were strong.”
“Soo-hee,” I said, “they’ve taken the comb.”
“Hush, little sister,” Soo-hee whispered. “Hush and go to sleep.”
*
Four days later, I lay on my mat in my tiny, stinking room as soldier after soldier raped me. The bone-deep ache in my legs from Lieutenant Tanaka’s beating combined with the fiery pain between them was almost too much to bear. To protect my thighs, I had to spread my legs wide, which made the soldier’s thrusts more painful. Eventually, I found a position that delivered the pain evenly between my bruised thighs and raw vagina so I could keep going.
For the past two days, an endless line of soldiers circulated in and out of our courtyard as cannon fire boomed in the distance. The soldiers were crueler than usual. They slapped me, pulled my hair, and mounted me roughly, desperate to purify their souls before they went off to battle.
As another filthy soldier climbed on top of me, I thought of Soo-hee. I had been able to spend only one night with her on the infirmary’s cold tile floor before Lieutenant Tanaka saw that Private Ishida had placed us together. He made Doctor Watanabe put us at opposite ends of the ward. When I saw her last, my onni was pale and weak, but she was still alive, fighting for her life.
At last, there were no more soldiers at my step. I struggled to make my aching legs work as I pushed myself off my mat, wrapped my yukata around me and picked up my chamber pot that no longer hid the comb with the two-headed dragon. When I pushed the door open, Lieutenant Tanaka was at the foot of my steps with his shinai at his side. “You have the Colonel again tonight, Namiko Iwata.”
“Yes, Kempei,” I said trying not to show how weak I was.
“Oh, and I’m sorry to tell you, Doctor Watanabe reports that your sister is not doing well. He says she has only days to live. And in case you’re thinking about sneaking out to see her again, I’ve told Private Ishida to keep a close eye on you and shoot you if you get near the infirmary.”
“Yes, Kempei.”
“Now go clean up for the Colonel,” Lieutenant Tanaka said, walking away. “Do your job well. He is under a lot of stress and needs to stay strong for Japan.”
And then I finally saw the end. If Soo-hee died, I would die, too. I would hang myself with my obi like Sun-hi did. I had only enough strength left to do that. The end did not make me sad or anxious. It only made me glad that soon my nightmare would be over.
As I pushed myself toward the latrine, I saw that Seiko and the other Japanese women were gone. Private Ishida leaned against the barracks wall and watched as I walked by. He looked in the direction of Lieutenant Tanaka and then at me again. I thought he wanted to say something, but he stayed silent. I went to the latrine and as I washed, I could hear trucks on the road and movement in the village. The cannons in the distance were louder than they were in the morning.
F IFTEEN
When I went to be with the Colonel, he was sitting in a black, short-legged chair with an ornate carved back. Over his square frame, he wore a white dress uniform with a stiff collar and red insignia. An empty bottle of sake lay on its side on a rosewood table next to him. There was another full bottle and two glasses next to it. He had moved the picture of his family from the bed to the table where he sat. The latticed windows were open to the street below and a breeze blew in.
I had never seen the Colonel in a formal uniform. I wondered if there had been a mistake and I was supposed to be with someone else that night. But when he saw me, he ordered me to come in. He nodded toward the rosewood bed and ordered me to sit. I removed my zori and placed them by the door. I sat on the edge of the bed and lowered my eyes.
“I see you are walking with a limp,” the Colonel said. “Lieutenant Tanaka must have given you a good beating the other day.”
“Yes sir,” I said.
He shook his head lazily. “He says he is doing his job like an honorable Japanese soldier. But he does not know what honor is. Perhaps someday, I will show him.” He lifted the glass to his mouth and drank the remaining sake in it. He grabbed the full bottle, uncorked it, and poured more sake into his glass.
The Colonel laughed lightly. “Drink some sake with me. It will ease your pain.”
“Sir?” I said. He had never offered me sake before.
He poured sake in the other glass and held it out to me. “Here,” he said. “Sake. Drink it.”
I took the glass and returned to the bed. I held it in my lap. Outside the window, the wind made the trees sway.
“Drink it!” the Colonel ordered. “It’s white sake from Japan, not the yellow swill they have here. Drink!”
I took a sip. I’d never had liquor before. It cut my tongue and burned my throat. I would have
spit it out but I no longer cared about anything anymore, so I swallowed it.
“Good Japanese sake,” the Colonel said, lifting his glass and admiring the clear liquid inside. “I’ve been saving it for someone special and you are it! Drink more, girl.”
I took another drink. This time, it didn’t burn as much and I started to feel warm.
The Colonel lifted the picture of his family and gazed at it. “Have you ever been to Japan, girl?” he asked. His speech was slurred. “No, of course you haven’t. I will tell you about it. It is beautiful, not like this godforsaken country. My country has snow-capped mountains, blue seas, beautiful green islands, modern cities teeming with people and automobiles. We were the greatest country in the world!” He carefully set the picture down on the table and smiled sadly. “Drink to Japan, girl.”
I took another drink.
He leaned toward me unsteadily. The glass of sake dangled between his middle finger and thumb and he pointed at me with his index finger. “It was a compelling idea,” he said. “An empire from the Indian Ocean to the Bering Sea. From the Pacific Islands to China and India. Think of what we could have had! Think of what we could have done! We would have ruled the East for a thousand years!” He grinned at the thought, leaned back, and downed the contents of his glass. He filled it again.
He waved his free hand. “Everyone would have prospered. Not just the Japanese but all Asians. Especially you Koreans. The sacrifices we asked of you were no greater than our own. And you would have been rewarded!” The Colonel glared. “But you did not appreciate what we were doing for you.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” I said. “I do not care.” I had never spoken to the Colonel like that, but I was feeling lightheaded. And I really did not care.
Daughters of the Dragon: A Comfort Woman's Story Page 8