"Still, you definitely liked him."
"'Like' is a good word," I answered. "I let myself get carried away by a schoolgirl crush. Fortunately for me, it's my pride that got hurt. Not like if my heart was really involved."
My heart had been involved with Levi. It hadn't been pride that hurt when I saw him and Heather kiss. That little ache had been from the part of me that looked forward to his smile every day, and replayed bits and pieces of our banter whenever my mind drifted away from work. That was the biggest problem of all, more than any relationship the self-help guide had tangled me in these past few weeks.
I wondered if Levi would still feel the same when I told him what happened. If I told him. Our conversation the other night had played havoc with my perception of things between us. There were still a lot of questions I needed him to answer, and I wasn’t even sure I had the courage to ask them yet.
I shuffled through my work day like a zombie, going through the motions as I arranged various appointments for customers. I thought I would collapse from sheer nervousness when I saw the delivery truck pull up, but it wasn’t Levi driving it. A stocky man with graying hair brought the packages inside, greeting me cheerfully as he waited for me to sign for them. I tried not to look too surprised, even though my heart was sinking deep inside me.
“Where is Levi today?” I asked. Feeling my face grow warm as I said his name. “The man who usually delivers packages here. He’s not sick, I hope?” I tried to sound casual.
“I think he took vacation time,” the man replied. “Two weeks, the lucky duck. Wish I could do that. Used mine up for my kid's knee surgery in January.”
Two weeks! I ought to be grateful, since it meant I wouldn’t have to face him anytime soon. But instead I felt empty, helpless at the thought that I had no chance of running into him for so long.
I had wanted to see him, I realized. Even with the fear and doubt churning through me, I wanted to know if there was hope for us. Now it seemed like he was running away from that possibility. Had he thought better of it after he spoke to me? Regretted his rash confession after the moment had passed?
Had he regretted telling me that he cared about me?
“Um, Jodi? Did you schedule that dog walker for Mrs. Paulson’s terrier tonight?”
I jerked my head up from the magazine I was pretending to read in the employee’s lounge. “Oh, my gosh, Natalia. I forgot! Oh, no. What time is it?”
I was frantic, checking my watch but not really seeing what time it was. I knew it was already too late for arranging Mrs. Paulson’s request. I should have scheduled it hours ago, if I wanted to secure a high-demand service like that. I couldn’t believe I had been this careless.
“It’s okay, don’t worry,” Natalia soothed. “I’ll get one of the runners to do it instead. Ethan is on duty and he’ll do anything for me. He’s got a thing for my Latina accent.” With a wink that told me Natalia was aware of her power over our college-age coworker. “Consider it done."
It was such a relief that I burst in to tears. Maybe I was overdue for a good cry, but I couldn’t seem to stop the flood of tears streaming down my face.
“Jodi, what’s wrong?” Natalia sat beside me, her startled eyes taking in my breakdown. I shook my head. “Is it just the dog walker? Because I feel like we can handle that kind of emergency around here.”
“No, no” I said, laughing at the misunderstanding, even though I was sobbing at the same time. “It’s…it’s something I did. Or several things. Oh, Natalia, I’ve messed up everything.”
I found myself telling her everything. From the self-help book and its first horrible consequences to my breakup with Connor the other night, and my conversation with Levi. She looked mildly triumphant for this part of my story, since she had called my crush from the start.
“I knew there was something between you two," she declared. "Why didn’t you go out with him? He was so attracted to you. Everyone knew it.”
“I didn’t know it for sure,” I said. “He never asked me. It was like he suddenly lost interest in me. And then I saw him kissing this other girl—”
She gasped. “Are you sure? Levi doesn’t seem like the type to fool around with someone’s emotions. He’s such an earnest guy.”
“Well, technically she kissed him,” I said, remembering the image I had replayed so many times in my mind. I wiped away some of my tears, trying to calm down. "But he didn't look upset about it, either."
“Maybe he was just being nice," she said. “Maybe it wasn’t what you think. You should give him a chance to explain, at least. You deserve to know the truth.”
I sighed. “I don’t know, Natalia. Maybe I should just take a break from all this romance stuff. My life used to be so much less complicated. It was better that way.”
“Still,” she said, “you’ll never move on if you don’t find out what really happened. Think it over at least.”
I promised I would. But I had already thought so much about it my head hurt. I didn’t want to play any more games when it came to my happiness. I wanted the truth, not fiction.
That night, I threw my copy of Reading Relationships into the wastebasket. Forget about imaginary literary loves and finding your inner heroine. Better to throw it away then let it fall into unsuspecting hands.
_________________________
I tried hard not to make any further mistakes the next few days, but I still forgot to cancel one client’s airline package and to reserve a table for two at Finways for the other. It was completely unlike me, and though I was able to straighten out both mistakes to everyone’s satisfaction, I was certain these missteps wouldn’t go unnoticed. The next morning, I was working the front desk when another employee told me to report to Ms. Brampton’s office as soon as possible.
Like a student sent off to the principal’s, I slunk towards it, heart full of dread for what she might say. She had given me a second chance after Brock’s impromptu visit. Maybe she wouldn’t be as lenient about these mistakes.
She was sitting on the edge of her desk staring out the window when I go there. Seeing my reflection in the glass, she told me, “Come in, Ms. Nichols. Shut the door behind you.”
A bad sign. She might be planning to yell this time.
I closed the door and stood as straight and confident as I could. If I was going to be fired, at least I could have some dignity about it.
“You know, Ms. Nichols,” she began, “there is a nickname for me among certain members of this staff. Do you know what it is?”
Ice Woman. Helmet Hair. I knew several, but I wasn’t about to say. She chuckled, sensing my hesitation. “The Iron Maiden,” she said, and chuckled again. “Not very creative, is it? But I suppose it makes a point.”
“Ms. Brampton,” I began, “I am so sorry. I know I’ve let you down—”
“It’s no secret I’m dedicated to my job,” she continued, as if I had never spoken. “Some people believe it is all that matters to me. And that it was to blame for my divorce from a certain businessman a few years ago.”
I glanced away, afraid she would see the shocked look on my reflection’s face. This was the last subject I expected her to bring up.
Ms. Brampton kept talking, however, in a quiet, gentle voice I had never heard from her before. “What you probably haven’t heard is that I was very happily married to a different man some years before that," she said. "A chef for a prestigious hotel’s kitchen in Albany. We shared a love for the hospitality business and planned on owning our own establishment someday. He would manage the kitchen and I would run the hotel.”
She still hadn’t faced me, but I could see the tenderness etched on her face in the glass. It was a whole different side to Ms. Brampton’s personality, one I didn’t know existed.
“It wasn’t meant to be." I could hear regret in her voice now. "After he passed away, I spent a long time on my own. My second marriage proved much less compatible. We fought quite a bit, and though he shared my love for success, he didn’t ha
ve a heart for the work itself. It put a strain on the business and our personal lives as well. It was the reason I had to start over as the manager for a hotel instead of owning one of my own.”
I was silent. I didn’t dare ask why she was telling me all this, not even when Ms. Brampton finally turned around, facing me with a pointed look.
“What I’m trying to say, Ms. Nichols, is that the wrong sort of relationship can only be bad for business. But the right sort—the kind that makes you happy— can bring more success to every part of your life than you’ve ever imagined. Does that make sense?”
“I—yes. I think so.”
She couldn’t possibly know. And yet…there was such a look of understanding in her face. As if the past few weeks of my emotional roller coaster hadn’t escaped her notice. I thought I was hiding it so well, until it got out of control and I feared it would lead to my being fired. I came in here expecting to be given the boot. Instead, I was given some advice that made it much clearer what I needed to do with my future.
“Good,” she told me. “That’s all I had to say to you, Ms. Nichols. And now, if you’ll excuse me, there is work to be done.”
There was. There definitely was.
~26~
I’m normally good at finding things no one else can, but it was proving impossible to find where Levi had gone.
I didn’t have his cell number and there was no number for him in the phone book either. A little judicious hunting around yielded the contact for his next landscaping project, but the woman who answered the phone said he wasn’t due to start until the next week. I even drove past his bungalow a couple of times, but his truck wasn’t there, his windows darkened, the curtains pulled. He had definitely gone on vacation.
With Heather, I wondered? Or had he broken up with her and was recovering from that decision? The way he spoke to me the other night — someone like Levi would only do that if he had no other commitment, I was certain. No one he could hurt by making that confession, except himself.
When I clocked in Monday morning, I was already exhausted for the day from spending a weekend trying to track Levi down. A note was penned to my timecard in Natalia’s handwriting. I picked it up to read the message, ‘Jodi, report to the rose garden ASAP. There’s a situation only you can fix!’
She had drawn a winking face after it, my mind sifting through possible explanations. Perhaps a customer was out there, needing my help with something. It hardly seemed likely the gardener would consult me. Confused, I headed for the front desk, but Natalia was in the middle of a phone call, waving me away, then pointing towards the glass doors that opened to the patio and rose garden beyond. I finally gave up and went to see for myself.
Stepping outside, sunshine and the smell of rose blossoms filled my senses. I stopped to take it in for a moment, steeling myself for whatever dilemma lay ahead. My mind just wasn’t able to focus on work the way it usually did.
There was only one person on the path, their back facing me as they stood beneath the arched gateway, clusters of pink roses trailing from above. I was almost upon them when I recognized the tall build and golden brown hair, made lighter at this moment by the sun shining on it.
My breath caught in my throat. It took a moment for the word to form so I could say it aloud. “Levi?” I asked.
He turned around to face me. “Hey,” he said. Smiling slightly. “Natalia said I could wait for you out here. It’s a beautiful spot,” he added, nodding towards the shades of pink and white, the one blazing red rose that climbed the garden wall. “I can see why you come out here to think sometimes.”
“And read poetry,” I added, with a nervous laugh, remembering our little discussion about Bryon. He clearly remembered it too, his smile growing slightly wider.
An awkward moment of silence passed. Unable to bear it, I spoke again. “I thought you went on vacation.” I was careful not to sound too concerned with these words, even though I had been desperate to know the answer to this mere hours ago.
His smile instantly faded, a troubled look taking its place. “I was sort of,” he said. “But mostly I just took some time to think.”
"I see," I answered. Wondering if things were over with Heather, given everything else that had happened. “So how did that go?”
He took a breath, inhaling sharply. "I realized I needed to come back here and face you. I can’t hide from these problems, Jodi. Or from you.”
He stepped closer, something determined in his eyes as he looked deep into mine. “I meant exactly what I said that night I came to your apartment. Every word of it. I know there’s something between you and this other guy—”
“There was nothing between me and Connor,” I answered, without hesitation. “I thought there might be, but there never was. It was all in my head.” I glanced away, feeling foolish. “I was so stupid, Levi.”
“You were stupid?” He sounded incredulous. “I was the one who waited too long to act on my feelings. I was just about to ask you out when I heard you were dating someone else. I don’t blame you for any of this, trust me.”
“When was this?” I asked, feeling my brow wrinkle. “Was it before I joined the plant crew? Because I felt like you were trying to avoid me before that.”
"Avoid you?"
"You know." I felt awkward saying it aloud. "Because of Heather? Aren't you… weren't you dating her?”
His brow furrowed at the suggestion. “Me and Heather? What gave you that idea?”
“You seemed so close to her,” I said, aware my heart was pounding. “And then she kissed you that night at the pub.”
His confusion lifted. “The kiss?" he said. "That was a joke. I told her what you said about giving me a tip for the drinks, and she said a kiss would have to do instead.”
It hadn't been a terribly romantic kiss, but I still couldn't forget it. Maybe something in my face told Levi this, because he shook his head. “That’s just Heather’s personality. She’s bold and a little overbearing at times—but she’s definitely not in love with me. She has a boyfriend in the army she’s marrying next year. She’s crazy about him.”
"Really?" I asked. I felt as if an anvil had been lifted off my chest.
"Ask her yourself," he said. "I promise you it's the truth."
"But — but why did you push me away?" I asked. "If it wasn't for Heather, and you really had feelings for me, then why were you so cold all of a sudden?" I felt confused. It had been before I saw the kiss that Levi had stopped being so friendly when he dropped off his packages.
“It was the day I spoke with your manager," he said. "When I came out of her office I heard you talking on the phone. You said something about dating and being happy with your love life. I didn’t want to step on someone else’s turf, so I decided to keep it to myself. Only I did a pretty poor job of it,” he added, looking sheepish. "I hurt you. I'm sorry."
“Oh, Levi," I sighed. "I wasn’t dating anybody when I said that. I was trying to avoid being set up by my friends. They kept pushing me to find someone and even bought me this book on how to do it. I was just trying to get them to leave me alone.”
"There was no boyfriend?" he said. He looked as relieved as I felt a moment ago.
"None." I cringed as I thought of how I got sucked into that awful train of dates after the book, despite my better judgment. “I only went out with someone else because I thought you weren’t interested in me,” I said, feeling regret for this mistake. "I missed my chance with you, so I thought it was time I stepped out there. Only there was nobody as good as you waiting for me, which made me realize how much I had lost."
“You mean…you wanted me to ask you out?” he said.
I nodded. “I thought you were going to and ... well, I was pretty disappointed when you didn’t.” I blushed with this admission, remembering that day when he brought up Romeo and Juliet. I'd wondered so many times since that moment's interruption if he had been thinking about asking me out — maybe even to see that love story onstage.
&nb
sp; “What about now?” he asked. Glancing down at me, his hazel eyes reflecting something like hope with the question. My heart was beating like crazy now. This was better than anything I had ever hoped for. More amazing than any storybook romance could be, with all the brooding heroes and complicated issues.
This is what I wanted. I just didn't know how to make it happen ... and now I've got a second chance at happiness.
I didn't need words to answer his question. I leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. My hand cradled his face, his fingers reaching up to cover it tenderly as he kissed me back. It was perfect, the world around me spinning in a good way.
I could trust the warmth in his eyes, his touch more reassuring than any I had felt in my life. I thought of Ms. Brampton’s words on the right relationship, and felt a smile beginning to form.
My happy ever after was real and it was just getting started. It could only get better from here.
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Special Excerpt from PICTURE MR. PERFECT
"So what should we choose, now that we've finished Anna Karenina?" Jess asked.
A show of hands followed this question, but the quickest one of all belonged to Jeanette. "I think A Gentleman's Word would be perfect," she said. "I know it's a little like a guilty pleasure, compared to our usual tastes —" there was a ripple of laugher in response to this, "—but we're all reading it anyway, and I think we can all agree that DiMarco's writing rises above the definition of 'B-grade' romance, can't we?"
"Sure," said Ellen. "I see shades of Pride and Prejudice in this book."
"Besides, it would be nice to read something light, for a change," said Helva. "I don't know about anybody else, but I need a break after six hundred pages of Russian literature."
Most of the book club murmured its agreement. "Usually, I'd be against it, on behalf of the three masculine voices in this group," said Kevin, jokingly, "but I'm with Jeanette and Helva on this one. I think it's a good contemporary selection. And there's definitely some literary relevance to DiMarco's historical fiction. I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I've sat through worse chick flicks than this book would make."
Boyfriend by the Book: A feel good romantic comedy Page 19