by A. M. Wilson
In coming here today, I knew there was a chance Trey would confirm my suspicion. But I also knew deep in my heart, I’d fight for Jacoby either way. Skinny, blonde bitch be damned.
“Fucking Melissa,” Trey swears harshly, pulling me from my thoughts of a bitch smack down.
“I’m sorry?” Who’s Melissa? The note wasn’t signed. I don’t take her familiarity as a good sign, and my hands tremble in my lap.
“This is from Melissa. She’s, uh, an ex.”
“His ex?”
Trey sighs, rubbing a hand over his short cropped brown hair. “How much do you know of Jacoby’s past?”
My cheeks flame at his question. “Um, actually not a lot. I know he’s only lived here a couple years, but I don’t know why. We haven’t talked about him much.” Now I feel stupid. What kind of person falls for a man they barely know? Right, a desperate one. At this point, I feel like I should just keep my head buried in the sand where it’s apparently been for the past two months.
“You two are a piece of work, you know that?” Trey snaps sounding exasperated. I feel myself becoming defensive at his tone, and my spine straightens.
“It’s not like we haven’t had a lot of shit going on. So instead of being a jerk, you mind filling me in on what you know so I can get to class?”
Trey shakes his head. “You know I can’t give you anything Jacoby hasn’t given you himself. I’m not that kind of friend.” I open my mouth to protest, but he holds up a large hand in my face. Suddenly, I have the urge to bite him for shoving his hand in my face. Bastard.
“Hold up, spitfire. What I can tell you is Melissa is out of her damn mind with this note. She was in the picture before you came along, and Jacoby cut her loose. You have nothing to worry about.”
“You mean to tell me she wasn’t ‘keeping his bed warm’ as she so lovingly put it the last two weeks?” I argue, dramatic air quotes and all. Sometimes, my immaturity really shines through.
Trey leans down, putting his hands on the armrests of the chair, caging me in and getting in my face. So close, I can see his bright blue eyes have turned icy. “No. I’d swear on my soul that he is d-o-n-e, done with that chick. He has been since you walked into his life, and he hasn’t even looked at another woman since.”
Whoa.
Holy shit.
“What am I doing, Trey,” I whisper. “What are we doing?” He leans back without breaking eye contact and crosses his arms over his huge chest.
“You’re avoiding the truth. About yourselves, about each other, about your relationship. I’m just waiting for you both to wake the fuck up and take a look around. I don’t know how much more it’ll take before you two see what’s right under your goddamned noses.”
“What are you talking about?”
Trey sighs, running his hand across his mouth. “I’m talking about how I’ve never known two people so obviously made for each other except the two of you. Quit trying to fight your battles alone and learn to fight them together.”
“How can you say that? You hardly know me.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t really know you. I’ve spent one night with you, but I’m a perceptive guy. I see you, honey. And Jacoby talks to me. We’re tight as brothers. I don’t have to spend more time around the two of you to know what I know.”
I close my eyes tightly, trying to regulate my breathing when it hits me what he’s saying. A part of me feels like I should feel betrayed but the more logical part of me feels relieved. Relieved I don’t have to relive my shameful story once again with the best friend of the man I’m falling for. Relieved that for once I have an unattached person I’d trust to give me an objective, honest opinion.
“He told you, didn’t he? You know about me?”
Trey takes a step closer and grabs my hand firmly between his two. “Yes, honey. I know. What you need to know that it doesn’t change my opinion of you. I’m awed by your strength and bravery for everything you’ve been through. And I know Jacoby is, too.”
Tears tickle my eyelashes, and I close my eyes again to push them away. His words touch me deeply, and I feel incredibly lucky he’s been brought into my life. “Thank you,” I whisper. “I should get going, but truly, thank you.” With his grip still on my hand, Trey pulls me from the chair and wraps me in a tight, protective hug.
“No need to thank me. That willpower lives inside of you. Don’t forget it. Now get out of here and go make things right between the two of you. I’m sick of him moping around like a little bitch.”
After the morning I’ve had, hell the last two weeks, I didn’t think I’d be able to laugh for a very long time. But there you go, with a few choice words Trey proves me wrong. I let out a soft giggle, and he smiles at me with something close to pride in his gaze. It’s in this moment that I realize if I can save things between Jacoby and me, I’ll also be gaining a loyal, protective friend in Trey. For the first time in weeks, my world looks just a little bit brighter.
***
The building is the same, the smell of paper and rubber and cleaning products inside it familiar; everything about the place I’ve spent the last three and a half years furthering my education is unchanged. But somehow knowing I’m wandering down these halls in order to reclaim the other half of my heart makes everything seem different. For the first time since I stepped foot inside these walls four years ago, it doesn’t feel so lonely. It might be because I’ve finally found the control I’ve craved my entire life, and it doesn’t come from a sharp metal blade. It might be that I’m finally ready to fight like hell for something I want more than my next breath. Or maybe it’s the simple fact that I know he’s here. That alone has the vise grip of loneliness loosening its hold.
My feet carry me down the familiar halls, and my heart beats faster with each step. I follow the stairs up to the second floor, and as I round the landing, those steps falter. I come to a complete halt as my eyes come to rest on Jacoby standing outside his classroom. He’s leaning against the doorway with his hands tucked into the pockets of his gray slacks, his chocolate eyes pinned to the spot where I stopped as though he were waiting for me.
Please, let him be waiting for me.
Somehow, I manage to unglue my feet, and as I take that first tentative step in his direction the most heart stopping, shy grin breaks out across his face. God, I want to run and throw myself in his arms and beg him to never leave me again. I want to cry for how sorry I am. I want to take his smooth strands in my hands, drag his mouth to mine, and kiss him until we’re both panting for air.
But just like breaking through the surface after being underwater, the noises and people surrounding us permeate the soundlessness I’ve experienced, and my senses return.
It doesn’t matter. The people rushing past me don’t matter. The yells of my classmates, the sound of the bell, none of it matters. The only thing I care about is that he’s here.
He’s here.
And I’m ready.
I stop a respectable distance away, having enough wits about me to be cautious. We may be on our way to overcoming the fight with our hearts, but I’m not about to forfeit our victory by getting caught this close to the finish line.
“Good morning, Mr. Ryan.”
“Morning, Tatum. Did you have a nice weekend?” His voice wraps around me like velvet. I missed the sound of my name on his lips so much these past two weeks.
“It was uneventful. I worked most of it,” I reply quietly. The last thing I want to do is seem needy, but I want him to know I missed him. The final bell rings, and I’m going to be late. The hall around us is now empty.
Jacoby steps back to let me pass him, but as I move, he grabs my bicep with a firm grip. The heat from his touch seems to sear straight into my bones.
He lowers his mouth to my ear, and his warm breath across my skin sends a shiver down my spine. “Mine was quiet, too. I missed you, Sweetheart.” His voice is rough and husky, and my eyes snap to his where remorse and pain are swirling in the milky depths
.
“Me too,” I whisper back.
The four-point-five hours between second period and calculus seemed to take an eternity. We spent the forty three minutes of second period discreetly texting one another while his students took a test and I hid my phone from my study hall teacher. Besides the few messages checking up and promising to talk later, we haven’t uttered a word. The silence is torture. I want to claw my way out of my own skin.
We have our own test to take in calculus, so at least I’m occupied when we’re finally in the same room again. I feel as though I can breathe easier just having Jacoby near.
When I finish my test, I send a quick message to Emerson cancelling our plans for the evening. She’s been my rock lately, coming over on my days off to keep me occupied and even spending the night after I got home from work a few times. After my mental collapse a couple weeks ago, I ended up breaking down and telling her everything.
To say she was shocked is a colossal understatement. At first, she was angry. She swore enough times to put a sailor to shame and called Jacoby every name she could think of just short of a pedophile. Then she yelled at me about finding someone my own age who actually cared about my wellbeing and not about getting into my pants. That was the first time I’d smiled in a week. Emerson knew all about my past hookups with Wyatt, and even though she didn’t like the guy, she never said anything about his age or his intentions. I don’t know what her hang up about Jacoby was, but I think she was more hurt I kept it a secret than anything actually pertaining to him.
All it took was me confessing I was falling for him to sober her up. She took one look at my face before breaking down into tears and apologizing for being such a bitch. After that, she became much brighter in regards to Jacoby and even tried to remain positive about the entire situation while I was feeling the exact opposite.
So when I tell her I’m cancelling in order to set my heart straight, she texts back immediately.
I want to know EVERY detail!! Good luck, babe. Ily
I text back, I will.
Which brings me to now, five minutes before the bell signaling the end of class. I want to scream at the clock to move faster, because the only thing standing between me and Jacoby now is five freaking minutes.
My fingers drum on the edge of my desk loud enough to begin to annoy me. I start to pack my bag to keep from fidgeting, and when I finish, I look up and lock eyes with Jacoby. He’s sitting behind his desk with a small smirk and twinkling eyes. His burgundy shirt has the top two buttons undone exposing the tanned ridges of his throat. I’m itching to get my hands on him again. To feel his hands on me again. Only a few more minutes before we can begin to put the past behind us.
The sound of the bell makes me jump, and I take a slow, deep breath to stop myself from diving headfirst over Jacoby’s desk and onto his lap. Instead, I calmly stand and gather my bag, pretending to follow the rest of my peers out into the hall when his voice stops me in my tracks.
“Tatum, a word, please?”
A few people glance back at the sound of his voice and make eyes at me as they pass, but as far as I can tell, not one looks suspicious.
I stop in front of his wooden desk, with its neat piles of papers, and meet Jacoby’s stare. I see sadness and longing and lust swirling in the depths, which causes a lump of emotion to rise in my throat. I cough to clear it.
“Yes, sir?”
His nostrils flare at the title, and a low rumble sounds from his throat. “One minute,” he responds before making his way around the desk and to the door. He pulls a set of keys from his pocket and locks the door before stalking back towards me.
I can’t look away from watching his body move unhurriedly towards me. His familiar sweet, woodsy scent envelops me when he reaches me, and tears prick my eyes at how much I’ve missed him. I yelp in surprise when he suddenly grabs me by my biceps and backs me up against the wall. My heart is threatening to break out of my chest. “Jacoby,” I whisper, needing him to talk to me. We have so much to say.
“Christ, I’ve missed you.” That’s all he says. Four beautiful words to convey the depth of what these past couple weeks have done to him. Four words before his mouth slams down on mine, and he takes my lips in a heated, bruising kiss that has my blood singing through my veins and the world around me splintering away.
I open my lips and slip my tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his. Jacoby tastes like a sweet peppermint latte. One of his strong hands wraps around the long waves of my hair, and the other slips down to my waist, sliding beneath the black concert tee I’m wearing. His calloused hands forge a trail of fire along my skin to my back where he slides his fingers into the waistband of my jeans.
I’m hot. I’m scorching; yet, I shiver from the feel of his hands on me, of his lips on mine. I’m burning and numb, but I feel perfect.
Jacoby moans as he lowers his hand into my pants to cup my ass. “So fucking perfect,” he breathes against my mouth before lowering his lips to my neck.
“I’ve never been as lonely,” I moan quietly, “as I was without you. Ah!” I cry out when he slides one thick finger through my wetness.
“You’ll never be lonely again.”
I grind my body against his intruding fingers in the most enticing way. “I need you. Please, Jacoby.” My fingers tangle with his messy locks, pulling his mouth back to mine. I slowly stroke his tongue with my own before sucking it into my mouth. The moan I elicit begins deep in his chest, the vibrations of it bouncing against my own.
“Then take me,” he grunts as I grind down on his fingers again.
As good as he feels caressing the most sensitive part of me, I suddenly have an idea. Something I haven’t been able to do with him considering our intimate relationship had been relatively short.
Using the element of surprise, and no small amount of strength, I slam my mouth back down on his and twist my body, forcing us to switch position and his back to crash against the wall. I leave one hand tangled in his hair and quickly work the button on his slacks with the other one. When they come undone, I slowly lower the zipper and reach into his boxer briefs to grip his hard erection.
“Holy shit, Sweetheart. That feels incredible.”
I smile against his lips, knowing it’s about to hit a whole other level.
Carefully, I drop to my knees in front of him, and before he can react, I lower my mouth over his hard flesh. I glide my tongue from base to tip before swirling it gently around the head. Jacoby’s hands slide into my hair when I repeat the motion again before beginning a slow sucking rhythm.
“Fuck. You feel so good,” he grunts. His hips thrust along with the motion of my mouth like he wants to keep as much contact as possible.
My lips and tongue move up and down the smooth, silky skin of his shaft that is now completely lubricated with my saliva. I add my hand to the motion, tugging and twisting with the same speed as my mouth. The salty sweet taste of him has me moaning around his erection, my own ache beginning to rise between my legs.
“Just like that. Just like that,” Jacoby chants on a hiss of breath. I peek up at him behind my eyelashes and can see his teeth are clenched tight, and a muscle is jumping in his jaw. The sight and sounds make me feel powerful. I’ve never felt as triumphant with my blade as I do right now.
“I need more of you.” Before the words register my desired filled brain, Jacoby grasps me beneath my armpits and hauls me to my feet. Abruptly, he spins me so I’m facing away from him, yanks my jeans and thong down my legs, and bends me over the nearest desk with a hand between my shoulder blades. Besides that small amount of contact, he isn’t touching me, and I’m panting as he crushes my breasts to the desk. God, just the knowledge that he’s about to fuck me is making my already wet core, dripping.
However, I let out a shocked shriek when it isn’t his shaft sliding along my core, but his tongue. Jacoby glides his tongue in and out of my wet folds while his lips nip and suck at my flesh. My legs begin to shake, and I grip the edges of
the desk so I don’t topple onto the floor.
“Jacoby, please,” I whimper when the sensation becomes too much.
He nips the inside of my thigh with his teeth, and I groan.
“Quiet.”
“Jac—Oh!” Using his hands on my hips, Jacoby yanks my lower body towards his face until I’m up on my tip toes, my torso flush to the desk. He buries his face between my thighs and plunges his tongue inside of me in a rapid rhythm.
My legs are shaking, my sex quivering, and my head is somewhere floating between the ozone and the thermosphere when it hits me.
“I’m c-coming,” I cry and sink my teeth into my lip to keep from screaming loudly. My body trembles from head to toe, and before I’ve even fully come down, I feel Jacoby slowly pushing his way inside me. “Oh God, yes,” I groan at the fullness.
“I’ve missed the sounds you make when you come,” he whispers in my ear as he pulls all the way out and slowly pushes back inside causing me to whimper. “The way you tremble.” Out. In. “I’ve missed your smart mouth.” Out. In. “Your beautiful laugh.”
One of his arms is slung diagonally across my chest, the other wrapped around my hips. I lean back, more secure in his hold, before threading both my hands through each of his. His arms squeeze me tighter against his body, and his lips trail down my neck, back up to my ear while he continues his leisurely pace.
“I missed protecting you.” Out. In. “Drying your tears.” Out. In. “But most of all,” he begins, nipping my earlobe before running the light stubble of his cheeks along my neck causing goose bumps to erupt along my skin. “I’ve fallen in love with you. And I left without letting you know.”
Tears track silently down my cheeks as I revel in all the pleasure this man brings to me. My heart has never felt so full, my body not once as sated. I twist my head back to look him in the eyes.
“You love me?”
“Yes, Sweetheart. I love you.” His face is open and honest, and I’ve never been more certain he’s telling me the truth. “I needed to get my head on straight. But now that I have you here,” he lifts a hand to gently caress my temple. “And here,” our hands threaded at my waist give me a squeeze while he slides in and out with a bit more tempo. “I never want to let you go from here.” Jacoby lifts our right hands around my waist until they’re both pressed against his chest over his heart.