“I didn’t mean that when I said come, but thanks for sharing.” Max chuckled. “You’re getting off easy. If you were mine, I’d have put you in chains and flogged you till you bled.”
“This is precisely why I’m not yours,” I said pointedly. Early on in our friendship we’d been lovers, and Max had tried unsuccessfully to turn me on to the lifestyle. His methods were not as subtle as Trent’s, and I was completely repulsed by his version of BDSM. Max had flipped out when I’d hooked up with Trent in London. He couldn’t understand how he’d failed where Trent had succeeded. It had been uncomfortable for a while, but Max had surprised us by letting bygones be bygones. Now, he’d become our yenta, sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.
“I’m just saying, Sloan. You should be happy he’s giving you a second chance. Not all Doms would be as forgiving.”
“I’m aware of that, Max, but it doesn’t make me feel any more comfortable having my size nine prick stuffed into a size four cage.”
“They don’t make cock cages for horses.”
“Fuck you!”
Max grinned like a hyena. “Settle down, darling. Your monster cock will be out of confinement and down his throat in no time.”
“If only….”
“I told you not to tell him, didn’t I?”
“I know,” I said, adjusting my package as discreetly as possible. I was so uncomfortable I wanted to scream. “But I would have been racked with guilt. This way I pay the price one time, and it’s done.”
Max stepped away as Trent and Dad approached. They stood on either side of me like sentinels guarding a national treasure. Dad had taken to Trent in a big way and wanted to make sure I didn’t fall back under Cole’s spell. Surprising, considering our families’ history. I would have thought he’d push for a reunion.
“I’m ready to get out of here and grab some lunch,” Dad said softly. “Why don’t we say our goodbyes?”
I slanted a glance at Trent, and he nodded imperceptibly. Making my way over to Cole by myself, I braced for an uncomfortable moment.
“Cole, I’m leaving.” He turned toward my voice, and the sad smile that flitted across his face hit me right in the gut.
“I didn’t expect you to show up after yesterday.”
“Look, I have to keep my distance.”
“You told him, didn’t you?”
“I had to.”
Cole nodded. “What about the boys?”
“I can’t be a part of your life anymore, Cole.”
“Don’t you even want to see them?”
“Not really.”
“Why did you bother to come today?”
“I know what it’s like to lose a parent. No one should be alone at a time like this.”
“I’m hardly alone.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I thought I did, but obviously I was wrong. Are you still willing to be deposed if need be?”
“Hopefully, it won’t get to that point. You should try and make an effort to work things out with her. You don’t stand a chance in hell to win this case if she reveals the true nature of your relationship.”
“We have a prenup.”
“You also did something completely unethical and against the law.”
“I can’t believe this is coming out of your mouth. Whose side are you on anyway?”
“Certainly not hers, but I didn’t plan this family, Cole, you did. You know I was against this from the beginning. And now I’m supposed to pick up the pieces of the train wreck? No. I wash my hands of the whole thing.”
“You’ve changed,” Cole said bitterly.
“Everything has changed.”
“You’re harder.”
“My blinders are off; that’s for sure. Say what you will, Cole, but I’m not going to waver because you’re hurting. Call me if you’re ever in a serious bind, and I mean life threatening. Don’t call me on a whim. And only use our code―911. I’ll see your name on caller ID.”
“My God, is he that controlling?”
“We have a good relationship which I almost ruined yesterday.”
“I won’t apologize for what happened.”
“I’m not asking for one, but don’t make it more important than it was.”
“And what was that?”
“A pity fuck.”
He gasped in shock, and his eyes flooded with tears. I wanted to kick myself for being an asshole, but I didn’t want to give him false hope. Better he hate me than continue to dream of a reunion. “Goodbye, Cole.”
I drifted back to Trent, hearing my shoes crunch on the frozen grass that covered the vast cemetery. It was fitting that this final moment between us take place amongst gravestones. It felt like he’d died, and I guess there was part of me that was grieving once again for what could have been. However, I knew that the life I’d expected to have with Cole was a dream that would never materialize, and there was no point in drawing this out any longer. Whatever I felt for him would be laid to rest today, along with his father. Trent smiled when he saw me walking back to him, and I was soothed by the tender expression in his eyes. Everything was going to be okay between us. I knew it as sure as I knew that Cole and I would always have a bond, regardless of the wounds we’d inflicted on each other.
Chapter 12
WE ACCOMPANIED Dad on the ride to the airport after enjoying a steak dinner at Gallagher’s. He’d been talkative during the excellent meal, sharing stories with Trent about his golden years with the San Francisco Giants, which naturally led to bragging about my brother and his fine pitching skills. It was a good thing Trent gave a shit about baseball, unlike me. I’d never been into the sport and only took it up to please Dad. It was Junior who excelled and was a part of that world. He was always a favorite topic of conversation whenever my dad was around. I tuned him out―my usual response upon hearing about my younger brother’s latest achievements. He was a current pitcher for the Giants, and the rivalry we’d had as young boys never really dissipated. Even now, as I was fast approaching my thirtieth birthday, the hot lick of jealousy burned as I heard Dad extolling Junior’s many achievements. Trent must have sensed my mood because he reached under the table and groped my leg, sliding his hand dangerously close to the hard basket that still covered my dick. He squeezed my inner thigh, smiling into my eyes as I struggled to find my center amidst the chaotic thoughts that always swamped me just before I had a meltdown. His touch reassured me, and I took a deep breath, focusing on my breathing instead of letting the fear run rampant―a prelude to a cutting incident. Was I ever going to get over these feelings of inferiority? My entire life had been plagued with feeling worthlessness over one thing or another, and although I was 95 percent cured, the remaining 5 percent was a stubborn bitch.
I walked into the terminal at La Guardia with Dad while Trent made arrangements for the limo to return in about thirty minutes for the ride back into the city.
“I like your new man,” Dad said, nodding his approval. “He’s financially savvy, and he knows his sports.”
“He’s also hot and fucks like a rabbit.”
“TMI, Sloan.”
“I’m not with Trent because he knows how to make money or can tell the difference between a slider and a curve ball.”
“I didn’t think so, but it appeals to me.”
“Good to know, Dad.”
“Whatever you’re getting out of this seems to be working. You look happy, kid.”
“I am.”
“So something good did come out of your breakup. I never got the whole story. Did Cole decide he wasn’t gay after five years? What’s up with that?”
“He wanted to give Ken grandsons, and I couldn’t get pregnant.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake. He knew that from the get-go.”
“It’s a done deal and not worthy of discussion.”
“He still loves you, you know. He was hanging on your every word.”
“Why bring this up now?”
“Just m
aking conversation.”
“It’s pointless.”
“Here’s Trent,” Dad said, abruptly ending our one on one. Trent put his arm around me, and we walked with Dad to the security checkpoint.
“You boys should come out next summer and watch Junior pitch. I can get the best seats in the house.”
“We’ll think about it, Dad.”
“Okay,” he said, hugging me like a bear, adding a few extra thumps on the back for good measure. Breaking away, he reached for Trent’s hand and shook it forcefully. “It’s nice to meet you, son. Take care of my boy.”
“Likewise,” Trent said. “I’ll take good care of Sloan.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled as we walked away from my father. “Why do I feel like I’m twelve whenever he’s around?”
“Because he treats you like a child.”
“Do you think he’ll ever change?”
“I doubt it.”
“Christ….”
Trent pulled me closer and remained silent until we were in the car. After helping me buckle up he commented. “I’m beginning to understand why you’re so insecure.”
My eyes filled up, and I could feel myself on the edge of the abyss again. It was incredibly disturbing to know that my father had that much power over my psyche. His blatant admiration of Junior, while cross-examining me over my relationships, did nothing for my self-esteem. I was horrified when a tear rolled down my face, and I swiped at it angrily. “I’m doing the best I can.”
“You’re doing a fine job, Sloan. Don’t let this weigh you down.”
“I’ll try,” I said, looking out the window and effectively putting an end to the conversation.
When we got back to Trent’s apartment, he surprised me by removing the cock cage as soon as we shut the front door. “Take a shower and come out here when you’re done. Don’t put any clothes on.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yes, Master.”
He blinked slowly, shuttering away the warm man I’d seen at the restaurant and airport, replacing him with a stony replica that was as approachable as Mount Rushmore. In public, I was allowed to call him Trent, but in private, it was sir or Master. Any deviation merited a punishment, which usually involved some form of humiliation. In the past, he’d had me clean the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush and scour the toilet with a Brillo pad cut into fourths. I had to lick the rim of the bowl when I was done to prove I’d done a fine job. I assumed these methods of punishment were a carryover from his days in the military, but they rankled, and the less frequently I had to do them the better. I’d gotten very good at slipping on my submissive hat the minute we crossed our threshold, but tonight I’d forgotten. And I knew that somehow he’d make me pay.
I tried to get it together while I was soaping myself, but the emotional upheaval of the last forty-eight hours got the better of me, and I didn’t try to fight the tears any longer. I let them fall, hoping they’d dry up by the time I faced Trent. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying, but it felt good nonetheless.
By the time I stood in front of Trent with the towel wrapped around my waist, I was calm but for the puffiness around my eyes.
“You’ve been crying,” Trent said quietly.
“Yes, sir.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure, Master.”
“Come closer,” he said. He was sitting in his favorite chair, and he spread his legs apart to accommodate my body. He yanked off my towel, leaving me naked and vulnerable in every way. He tempered his aggressiveness by caressing my ass gently and rubbing his hands up and down my thighs as we talked. I tried mind control to whisk myself off to another planet so I wouldn’t react to his touch, but it wasn’t working. My neglected cock was rising at a frightening rate, and Trent stared at it hungrily. “You have the most amazing prick.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“I’m going to suck you and drive you crazy with pleasure, but if you come, the cock cage goes back on.”
“Master, please don’t.”
“Why should I deprive myself when I’m not the one who’s being punished?”
“Let me go down on you, sir.”
“No.”
“Please, sir?”
“Step forward, Sloan.”
I inched forward only to feel his hands grasp my hips and yank me so close my cock was touching his face. “Remember,” he whispered, seconds before sucking me inside that ravenous mouth, “don’t come.”
I watched in fascination as his beautiful head bobbed up and down. Seeing Trent lose himself in my body was a bigger turn on than the pleasure created by his tongue as it twirled around my shaft expertly. The delicious combination of ecstasy and the accompanying pain from staving off the orgasm left me wobbly, and I could barely stand. I held on to his head for support and begged him to stop, croaking out the word please to no avail. Trent was lost in his own world, and I felt my balls drawing up into my body, a second away from exploding when he pushed me away abruptly.
“Stop,” he said so forcefully he shocked me into submission. Everything was suspended by the power of his voice, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief as my orgasm slid back down whatever tunnel it was barreling through.
“Good boy,” he said, smiling in satisfaction as he watched my saliva-slicked cock droop obediently. He began to take off his clothes as he walked toward the bureau where he kept his “toys.” His shirt flew off, and he stopped for a second to hop out of his jeans and kick them across the room, followed quickly by socks, shoes, and lastly, his boxers. By the time he’d grabbed the cock ring and inclined his head for me to climb up on the bed, he was naked and hard. I whimpered, knowing what was coming next.
“On your hands and knees, Sloan.”
“Sir, please don’t put that on me.”
“You’re not coming tonight.”
“Oh God.”
“That’s right,” Trent said, even as he snapped the cock ring into place. “Pray. That’s always a good distraction.”
“Yes, Master.”
He prepared himself while I assumed the position, snapping open the bottle of slick and pouring it liberally in and around my crack. I heard the foil rip and waited, telling myself to think of repulsive fat men with shriveled penises, all in the hope of controlling my erection, which was about to destroy me. If I could get through the next ten minutes of my life without failing, the future would be infinitely better.
I blanked out all thoughts but one as I felt him thrusting past the tight ring of muscle. Don’t come, don’t come. Fortunately, he was in a hurry tonight, and his movements were rough and unguarded, solely intended for his pleasure. I shut my eyes and gritted my teeth, willing my cock to behave. I knew he was close when he sped up and his breath released in short pants. His nails dug into my hips when he finally came, and praise God, I didn’t.
He pulled out, tore off the condom, and dropped it into the wastebasket by the bed. Reaching for me, he attacked my mouth with hungry kisses, murmuring his appreciation for my restraint. “Good boy,” he whispered, holding me close. My cock was painfully distended, and it was excruciating to feel anything rubbing up against it.
“Master… please.”
He cradled my face in between his hands, and the look in his eyes had completely changed. The badass was gone, and my Highlander was back, mellowed by my submission. “You’ve been very, very good.”
“Sir?”
“And good boys deserve rewards.”
I held my breath, not daring to hope, but when I felt him reach down and pull off the ring, I almost wept in relief. “Come for me, Sloan.”
I began humping his leg, frantic to relieve this ache in my groin that had tortured me for the last two days. A dog in heat was nothing compared to the way I was rubbing spasmodically over Trent’s body. The orgasm that ripped through me was electrifying, and I screamed when I finally crested the wave in an explosion of warm spunk that striped his legs and stomach. I heard him laughing softly
in the background, calmly enjoying the spectacle of his blitzed-out submissive in the throes of a spectacular climax.
He continued to hold and kiss me as I floated back down to earth, making the orgasm that much sweeter. “Thank you, Master.”
“You’re welcome, Sloan. I know it’s been a rough couple of days, and I don’t want to take anything away from your effort, which has been brilliant so far, but I want you to realize that what just happened was a gift, not a reprieve. You’re still my slave.”
“I understand,” I said, although I really didn’t. “Why did you let me come?”
“I’m not heartless. I know what it cost you to face Cole and your father on the same day.”
“You’re very perceptive.”
“I’m trying damn hard to understand what makes you tick.”
“I believe you, and I’m so grateful.”
“I don’t want your gratitude, boy. I want your complete and utter submission.”
“Yes, sir. Shall I start dinner?”
“Yes.”
“Did you have anything special in mind?”
“Anything except Japanese.”
“Is this a reaction to seeing Cole or do you really hate their food?”
Trent shrugged. “I don’t hate it, but I’m tired of it. It seems that’s all you ever make.”
“I’ll try and be more eclectic in the kitchen, sir.”
“That’s all I can ask for. Before you go, we have one thing to address.”
“My punishment for not using your title, sir?”
“Yes. What do you think it should be?”
“Whatever works for you, sir.” I was too loopy from my orgasm to really care. “Do you want me to bend over for a spanking?”
“It’s fast and beats cleaning toilets, don’t you agree?”
“Yes, Master,” I said somberly. Spanking was a dreaded soft limit of mine, and he knew it too. I felt infantilized every time he’d take a paddle to my ass.
“One swat should do it, and hopefully, the sting will remind you of who’s in charge.”
I stood and made my way over to the bureau and pulled out the dreaded English paddle. I handed it to him and bent over, bracing myself with my hands on my thighs. Clenching my ass cheeks in anticipation, I exhaled loudly when I felt the god-awful splat.
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