Alexa walked right up to the railing and took a deep breath of sea air. This couldn't be more perfect.
* * *
Will stood back and stared as Alexa looked out at the ocean. He almost couldn't believe his plan had worked so well, but he was so glad it had. This is what she deserved. A special night that would show her just how much she truly meant to him. He was pretty sure she didn't realize it, but he was determined to prove it to her.
Just then she turned to look at him, and his mind went blank. She was still wearing the same dress from earlier, the one from New Orleans. The knowledge that what he'd been dreaming of for the past four years—hell, longer than that—was about to become a reality had him stepping toward her, and pulling her into his arms.
She looked up at him wordlessly, trustingly, and he gave in to his desires. He had told himself he wouldn't rush things, but now he wasn't so sure. The heat in her eyes matched his own.
Tangling his fingers in her hair, he crushed his mouth down on top of hers as her body melded into him. Her hands threaded around his neck and she let out a moan.
All of the passion that had been building between them came out in a rush as they were finally free to explore it. Will pulled away for a moment, cradling her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. God, she was beautiful. He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but after all they'd been through, he had to ask. "Are you sure?"
Her smile said it all. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life. And I don't care about tomorrow or next week, or anything else. I just want you and me, right here and now."
That was all he needed. He scooped her into his arms and carried her the bedroom to give her a night she wouldn't soon forget.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Alexa awoke to the strange sensation of deja vu. She was in a hotel room in an unfamiliar bed. But this time, she wasn't alone. She sighed contentedly and rolled over, feeling Will tighten his arms around her. His hard muscled chest had her pulse racing again, and he opened his eyes and grinned wickedly at her. Maybe they had time for another round.
"Oh my god!" Alexa sat straight up in the bed, looking frantically around for a clock. "It's morning. What time is it? We have to get back to the house.”
And it was the wedding day. There was no way she could be late to her own sister’s wedding. That was a surefire way to spoil her perfect day.
Will sat up next to her and scrubbed his hands down over his face. "I didn't intend to stay here all night. I thought we could go back after, and no one would be the wiser. What I didn't count on was your insatiable appetite."
Alexa blushed. She didn't know what had come over her. She and Will had made love three times during the night and then crashed in exhaustion. Her blush seemed to egg him on because he wrapped his arms around her again and kissed the exposed skin at the base of her throat and murmured, "Do we have time for another round?"
The thought was tempting, but Alexa knew they had to get back.
An hour later Alexa sent Cara a text, letting her know they were back. She'd hoped to sneak back in the house and none but Cara would be the wiser, but she was tiring of the secrecy. She was a grown woman, after all, and she didn't have to sneak around. But the idea of causing any drama or distractions on her sister’s wedding day was enough incentive for her to push aside those feelings.
When Cara didn't respond, she started to get nervous. She and Will had to get inside and start getting ready. The plan was for her to be safely inside her room as if she'd been there all night, then Will would arrive as if he'd just come back from a typical night out. No one would question it, as it fell perfectly in line with Will's reputation. Alexa tried not to think too hard about that, and the fact that it made her chest tighten painfully. She knew going into last night what she was doing. She'd known all week. Will was a player, and this was just a fling, despite the fact that her heart cried out for more.
But she couldn’t help it. Her heart ached knowing they’d be parting ways the next day and that they very well may go years without seeing or speaking to each other again. Her happy for now was coming to an end and it was a million times harder than she’d ever expected. What had she been thinking?
Alexa and Will made it upstairs uneventfully and she tried to rush into her room and avoid any further contact while she was in such a conflicted state of mind. But Will was having none of it. He grabbed her elbow as she opened her door and pulled her to him, but froze when he saw her red-rimmed, glassy eyes.
“Whoa, darlin’, what’s up?” He brushed a stray hair from her face and Alexa tried to savor his touch, but it all felt so bittersweet now and she couldn’t handle it anymore.
“I’m sorry, Will. This was a mistake. Thank you for a wonderful week, but I can’t do this anymore.” And with her heart breaking, she ran into her room and slammed the door behind her, the sound having a sick sound of finality.
* * *
A mistake? Is that what she thought their time had been together? Will felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He slowly walked into his room and sank down on his bed with his head in his hands, trying to make sense of what he was feeling.
He'd only wanted to give her a special night, and if there had been even the slightest hint that she wasn't certain, he wouldn't have done it. That had to say something about the way he felt about her, right? He'd never really concerned himself with a woman's feelings before. It was always no strings attached sex.
But that wasn’t the case with Alexa. His heart had always belonged to her whether she knew it or not.
And now she thought it was all a mistake. Well, he wouldn't push her. He knew how that would end. He’d been there before and he couldn’t stomach the idea of her running away from him again.
Though isn’t that what she’d just done? After taking so much care to make it happen this time for them, she thought it was a mistake. Well, he'd be gone and out of her life again as soon as he could and then she wouldn't have to look at him with regret in her eyes. He didn't think he could handle that. Not on top of the scorching pain in his chest that he doubted would ever truly go away now.
* * *
Alexa fiddled with the hem of her bridesmaid dress as she stood around on the beach, waiting for everyone to get ready for the ceremony. It had been such an awkward day and she couldn't wait for it to be over.
According to Cara, Will had packed up and was leaving after the ceremony. She shouldn’t be surprised. It was his modus operandi. But she hadn’t expected it to hurt so damn bad. Cara had convinced Will to at least stay until the wedding, but Alexa was starting to wonder if that was actually a good idea. She didn’t look forward to facing him again.
He’d been MIA all day and she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was avoiding her. Of course, she knew he was. Why would he want to make things any more awkward than they had to be? But she almost thought he'd looked pained when she’d said it was all a mistake.
It didn't matter, she kept telling herself. Last night had been amazing, but now it was over, as she'd known all along that it would be. So why did her heart feel so heavy? She just wasn’t cut out for these things. She’d been a fool to think she could be with Will, the man she’d been in love with for countless years, and not get hurt.
She looked up at the sound of footsteps on the wooden stairs and smiled as her sister approached. Alexa squeezed her tightly and Cara hugged her back. “You okay?” she asked, worry clouding her eyes.
“I’m fine,” she lied. “Don’t you worry about me. Today is your day and I hope it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed it would be.” She tried to look happy for her sister’s sake but had a feeling she was failing miserably.
Cara squeezed her hand. "It is. I'm about to marry the man of my dreams, and you're here with me. I couldn't ask for more." This time, Alexa’s smile was genuine and she felt all her tension from the day drain away at seeing Cara so happy.
It was short-lived, though, because at that moment, all the groomsmen filed outside and mad
e their way down to the sand. Will passed her by without meeting her eyes, and it felt like a slap in the face. She knew it was over, but why was he treating her so coldly? Had it been her imagination that they'd rekindled their friendship outside of their physical attraction?
She took a deep breath and pushed all her feelings down, burying them inside, determined to enjoy the wedding.
They all took their places, and Will began taking photos, fading into the background. Then, there was Cara, at the top of the stairs, looking like the most stunning bride Alexa had ever seen. Her dress was light and breezy, blowing gently in the sea breeze as she made her way down the steps and across the sand to take Jace's hands.
The ceremony was short and sweet, and as the bride and groomed exchanged their vows, Alexa felt her eyes well with tears. Happy, joyous tears for her sister, but tinged with sadness. Would she ever find this kind of love? She hoped so, but with the way her life was mapped out ahead of her, she wasn't so sure.
She risked a glance at Will and found him with his camera pointed at her, briefly, before turning it back to the happy couple.
Then the ceremony was over, and Jace leaned down to kiss his bride to the applause of the wedding party and the bystanders that had stopped to watch as they'd made their way down the beach. Will arranged them in various poses to take the standard wedding portraits, and Alexa silently watched him work. There was an edge to him that she hadn't seen before. A hardness that didn't mesh with the man she'd gotten close to this week. She didn't have time to dwell on it, though, because as soon as they were done, they were swept into the house for a lovely but small catered reception. Jace and Cara would have a traditional reception when they returned from their honeymoon, but for now, the bridesmaids had thought they would have a small celebration before the couple headed off.
After a few drinks and a lot of laughter and conversation, Alexa headed out to the deck and watched the waves crash as the sun disappeared and the sky darkened. She caught her breath and whirled at the sudden sound of a man's low voice.
"I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye." Will had his bag slung over his shoulder and his camera bag in the opposite hand.
"You're leaving tonight," she said dully.
"I need to head back to New Orleans. There are a few more things I want to finish before I start my next project." She couldn't make out his expression in the fading light.
"Where to next?" She tried to keep her tone light, but was afraid the hitch in her voice gave her away.
"I'm thinking Europe. I haven't been in a while, and I'm getting the itch."
"Oh," she said softly. Of course. What did she expect, that he'd come to New York? He traveled the globe with no roots. He certainly wasn't about to be tied down by a woman. That was wishful thinking on her part, but it still hurt.
"Alexa." He took a step toward her and lifted his hand.
Nope. She couldn’t take that, feeling his touch and knowing it would be the last time. She forced herself to speak and it came out artificial and abrupt. "Well, good luck. You know what they say. If you're ever in New York, look me up." She walked past him and rushed to her room, hoping he couldn't see the tears she was blinking furiously to hold back.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Alexa sat in her comfy reading chair, listening to the noise of the city coming from her open window, her index finger hovering over the button on her computer that with one press, could change the path she was on. With a sigh, she withdrew her hand and shut her laptop and let her head drop back. She'd never get the nerve to make her blog go live.
The thought had been nagging at the back of her brain the entire week she'd been back at work, and now that she'd spent the week updating and freshening the site, she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was almost as if pushing that button was admitting that she was miserable with her job, a fact she'd come to realize since coming home from Florida. Somehow, her time with Will had reawakened the adventurous side of her that she'd been suppressing for so long, and the future that was laid out before her was no longer satisfactory. She knew now that she wouldn't be content working for a publication that bored her to tears, and while she was sure her experience could land her a job with a company that was more her true style, she really didn't want more of the same monotony.
Alexa admitted to herself that part of what had always drawn her to Will was his sense of adventure and the free spirit that matched her own. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to crowd out the vision of his face floating in her mind.
She'd had another realization this week as well. As much as she'd tried to convince herself that what had transpired between them was just a fling, she knew it was more. Hell, she’d known it going in. They shared a connection like something Alexa had never experienced before. If she bought into the idea of soul mates, she'd say that Will was hers. He awakened things in her that she had forgotten existed, and he brought her to life. And now I'm in love with a man who has no intentions of settling down.
Alexa groaned and pushed herself out of her chair. This was only making things worse. He was gone, and she was here, and that was the end of it. She tried to distract herself by doing some housework and was taken off guard when she caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. She had tears streaming down her face.
Slowly lifting her hands to brush them away, she turned from the mirror, sighing, "Oh, Will."
The sound of her buzzer brought her to her senses and she strode to her intercom. "Yes?"
"Lex, it's me. Can I come up?" Cara's voice crackled through the system.
"Yes, of course," she answered, buzzing her up.
What was she doing here? She should be on her way home from her honeymoon in Greece. Why was she in New York?
She met her at the door and wrapped her in a hug. "What's going on?" she asked.
"We had a layover and I wanted to come check on you."
"Check on me? I'm fine." She shut the door and smiled widely to prove her point, but she knew her eyes were red from crying.
"Obviously not. Is this about Will? Damn him, I knew he'd break your heart." She moved past her and paced the room. “But I guess it’s just as much my fault. I practically pushed you together.”
"Yes. No. I don't know." Alexa drew in a breath for fortification, then pushed through before she lost her nerve. "It's more than that, Cara. It's my job."
She turned and stared at her with concern. "Are there repercussions for your story not being what they wanted? I didn't think that was how it worked."
"No. No, it's not. Everything is fine there. I mean, it's all just like it was before. But that's the problem. I don't know how to say this other than to just lay it out there. I hate it. I'm miserable. I've made a huge mistake and I'm terrified that I'm going to spend the rest of my life dealing with it." She realized she sounded melodramatic.
"I'm sure it's not that bad. Why don't we sit down and maybe you can explain it to me."
So she did. She told her all about how she had lost herself over the past few years and how she couldn't bear the thought of living out the rest of her life in a career that she wasn't suited to. She confided her dreams that she had kept secret for so long, all the while wondering if Cara, who had it all together, thought she was out of her mind.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Alexa bit her lip. "You've got everything in your life together and I wanted to prove that I could too. I mean, I left home to come here. I couldn’t just come crawling back with my pride still intact. I needed a respectable, dependable job. What would you have said if I told you I wanted to be a blogger?" She had to laugh because it really did sound preposterous when she put it that way.
“I don’t know, maybe to follow your heart? I never have thought this job suited you, to be honest. And Will implied as much, too, now that I think about it."
Alexa gasped. "He told you?"
"No, not in the way you're thinking. After you got word that they weren't going to publish your piece, I asked him his
opinion, and he said he thought your passions lay elsewhere. At the time, I thought he meant the content of your article. But thinking back, I think he was speaking about your life. Who you are and what you love."
Alexa didn't know what to say. Will could see her that well for who she was?
"Lex," Cara began, "what exactly happened between the two of you?”
"I know I told you that I knew what I was doing. And I thought I did. I had every intention of just having a fling. I don't think I realized it until I got home, maybe even just today, but it was more than that for me. Of course, I should have known.” She smiled ruefully. “I don't know how he feels. In fact, I'm sure it's not the same because he left without any hint of it, but I do know that I connected with him on a deeper level than we ever had before."
They talked for a bit longer, Cara telling her about Greece to take her mind off things, then they said their goodbyes so she could catch her connecting flight. Once she was gone, Alexa contemplated everything they’d talked about. It was a lot to take in. But hearing her say that Will thought she should pursue her passions meant a lot to her. She’d have to deal with her broken heart, and probably have a conversation with him at some point.
But for now, she was ready to take the first step to reclaim her life. Opening her laptop, she pulled up her blog again, and this time, she pressed the final button with confidence.
* * *
Will scrolled through his photo albums on his computer for what felt like the hundredth time this week, stopping on the ones from the wedding. They had turned out really well, and he thought Cara would be pleased. Alexa's eye for portraits had meshed well with his photography skills, combining for some really spectacular shots. They made a good team.
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