“Well, 9:00 am is early. Good thing you had the initiative to call.”
“I hope I didn’t ruin anything for you.”
I chuckled, “No, no you didn’t. In fact, you saved the day.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I promise.”
“Thank you, Sam. I’ll let you go. I’m sorry for calling you so late.”
“It’s okay.”
“Bye, Sam.”
“Bye. Oh, Jamie?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something? That’s if, you don’t mind me asking you something personal.”
“No, go ahead.”
“Are you always this apologetic?”
“….”
“Jamie? Are you still there?”
“Yeah, I was just trying to think of an answer.” I chuckled to myself as I got out of bed to get more comfortable in the reading chair next to the bay window. I cradled the cell phone between my ear and shoulder.
“Just say whatever the truth is. The reason I ask is you grapple one way, but then you seem another way the rest of the time.”
“Oh. I don’t know. I guess I’m just shy.”
“What do you have to be so shy about?”
“A lot of things. Isn’t everyone insecure about something?” She asked.
“Yeah, you’re right. Want to know what I’m insecure about?”
“What do you have to be insecure about?”
“A lot of things. Nobody knows this, but there are days where I feel like I’m losing touch with what I’m supposed to be doing with the Foundation. I feel like we are straying from what I originally wanted more and more and I feel like there’s going to be a point in time where I ruin it completely, and I’ll have failed my father.” I confessed.
“I don’t think you could ever fail your father. You have given up everything to keep it going. You’ve grown it to where it’s a household name, and you guys have impacted a lot of people. Me included.”
“Really?” I was surprised but grateful to hear the kind words.
“Yeah, I had this tape, you know, from a TV special that they aired about your family. It was a long time ago, but it was this documentary they’ve only aired once I think. I recorded it, and I used to watch it over and over probably wearing out the tape. I lost the tape, though. Your father is the reason why I sing, why I write and why I play the guitar. He also helped me realize what a real man is and what kind of person I wanted to settle down with.”
“What kind is that?” I asked.
“What kind is what?” She asked.
“What kind of man do you want to settle down with?”
Chapter Eight
JAMIE
I THOUGHT I HEARD THINGS. I wasn’t sure if he just asked me what I thought he asked. My heart started to beat fast, and I had that sinking feeling again. I think I had a panic attack.
It was still early in the evening but too late to be calling someone I work for, but I did. I had to, I didn’t want to get in trouble, I just started working there, and I loved it so far. It was a risk I had to take, not to mention I was scared as hell.
I had just come from a fresh shower and was already in my pajamas snuggled underneath the warmth of my blankets, my cell phone glued to my ear.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked, what kind of man do you want to settle down with?”
“Someone kind, sweet and caring…”
“You know, that sounds kind of cliché.” I heard his suppressed laughter on the other end of the receiver.
“I know it is, and it may sound like a fairytale, but I love those kinds of stories. The kind where Prince Charming rescues the fair maiden who was kidnapped by the wicked queen.”
“So you want some guy to wear a lot of metal and to pick you up riding a horse.” I could help but laugh out loud.
I huddled further under the warmth of my comforters, “Of course not, but your father was kind, generous and he had a great heart. He was one of a kind, and you rarely see that these days. It may sound cliché, but it’s what I want, and I won’t settle.”
****
It had been several weeks since I started working at the Ellis Foundation and my primary responsibility in the office was to support both Amy and Sam. I still had not worked up the courage to confront Sam about his intentions and went back and forth in my mind if it was even a big deal to do so but I just had to know especially after how things have changed since I called him.
I hadn’t made any personal calls to him since then, but it was as if that phone call improved the dynamic between us and I couldn’t have been any happier but at the same time I was also confused about where I stood. I was on the phone with him for two hours until I started to get drowsy and he insisted that I get some sleep. We talked about a lot of things that night everything from the opposite sex, work, my family, hobbies, politics and even philosophy.
At one point we talked about our favorite films, and he started making impressions of some of our favorite comedies. He was hilarious, and I can honestly say I fell in love that night. I may believe in fairytales, but I do know that you don’t need to spend a whole lifetime with someone in order to realize how special they are or to recognize adoration when you feel it. Call it infatuation or not, but I know what I feel about Sam, and our phone call confirmed what I already knew from the beginning.
Ever since the phone call, work was, even more, fun with him around at times. The more time I spent with him at work, the more I learned about him. He was ambitious, hardworking and he did everything with a purpose. It was that purpose that was the driving factor for his motivation. It was admirable.
There was also a lot of positive signs that I was in his good graces. It was the little things he sometimes did – the quick corny joke he’d tell me every morning at the kitchen coffee station, the way he agreed with my opinions during staff meetings, and it was the way Sam always said he liked the blueberry flavor whenever he pulled a lollipop from the jar of candy on my desk.
I wished it happened more often than it did because he was always in meetings or traveling and if he was in the office he usually had his door shut. Most of the time, though, Sam went through Amy to delegate work to me and if Sam did give me work directly, he addressed me in a professional manner.
Despite the yearning for more attention than I had gotten, I was a good place in my life, and I was enjoying it. Granted it wasn’t what I ideally wanted, but I couldn’t ask for anything more. The only cause for concern that I had was that Amy always gave me a hard time whenever the other staff wasn’t around. I got the impression that Amy didn’t like me from the get-go and it really angered her when Sam blew off a planning meeting with her on early evening and decided to check out for the night instead.
“Are you doing anything later?” he asked as he appeared in front of me. I was focused on my computer screen, creating a spreadsheet with some data Amy and given me that morning. She wanted it finished before I left, even if it meant I worked overtime.
“I’m sorry, what.” I didn’t look up.
“I asked if you had plans later.” Sam took out the headphones from my ears and repeated his question. It was after closing time, and all of the other staff members had already left, except for Amy, Sam and I.
“No, I don’t.”
“I was going to go for a walk to the beach, would you want to come with me?”
“Sure.” I agreed to try to contain my excitement.
“You don’t have to, you could say no if you want I won’t be offended.”
“No, I’d like to join you. Really.”
“Are you sure?” Sam asked.
“Definitely. When would you like to go?”
“Right now.” He laughed.
“Now? Amy wanted me to finish this report before I left.”
“Don’t worry about it, you can finish it tomorrow. If she gives you a hard time, tell her I said you could. I could really use a change of scenery, and I real
ly don’t feel like going home right now.”
“Alright, I just need to grab my jacket and purse,” I said as I stood up to collect my belongings until Amy joined the conversation in protest.
“Jamie, are you finished with the report? Sam and I are getting ready to leave, and I wanted to review it tonight.”
“I…uh…” I didn’t know what to say.
“I told her to finish it tomorrow, it’s getting late. Oh, can we also push back our meeting to tomorrow? I’m going to head out and go for a walk.”
“We were going to go over the strategic plan. Did you at least want me to join you? We could discuss it while we walk.” She asked Sam.
“No, it’s okay. I already asked Jamie to accompany me. You go on home, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Oh, uh…okay, Sam. If that’s what you want.” Amy was befuddled and then turned to me, “First thing tomorrow, Jamie.”
“It can wait, Amy,” Sam said in my defense.
“But Sam...” Amy protested before giving me the subtle stink eye.
“We have time, don’t worry. The Foundation won’t fall apart because of one spreadsheet you reviewed a day later than normal.” Sam laughed and patted Amy’s shoulder. He had incredible patience.
“Shall we go?” Sam asked before placing a hand on the small of my back urging me forward.
“Yes, lets.” I glanced at Amy, who didn’t look too happy but I didn’t care I wanted to spend more time with him away from others, and I was excited to find out what was going to happen. As silly as it sounded, I hoped there was a particular reason he invited me.
“Do you go to the beach much?” Sam asked after we had walked in silence for a bit. It was cold that night, and the air was crisp. I could subtly see our breath fog up every time we exhaled. I pulled my pea coat shut and folded my arms to keep myself warm.
“I do. Every day, almost.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I do. I haven't. Lately, it’s been a little colder than I can tolerate plus I wake up groggier than usual because cold weather tends to do that to me.”
“I admire your resilience. What do you do at the beach? Go running?” Sam inquired.
“No, not exactly. There’s a bench near one of the towers, and I like to go there. Just sit and take in the surroundings. It helps prep me for the rest of the day. You should try it sometime, but it doesn’t have to be at the beach.” I giggled.
“Interesting. Wouldn’t have guessed but yeah I’ll try it sometime. Can we go there? That bench that you usually go to?”
“Sure, if that’s what you want.”
“We’re going to the beach anyway might as well check out this infamous spot you go to all the time.” He smiled.
“We can, but it’s not within walking distance.”
“Okay, but I’ll definitely take a rain check.”
It wasn’t too long before we arrived at the beach and found a rock wall at where the payment met the sand. We decided to stop there and sit for a while. Sam made no attempt to say anything, and neither did I. He just sat there in silence watching the waves crash, one after the other. I got the sense that something was troubling him but I did not want to ask, I didn’t want to pry so we just sat there until he broke the ice.
“Everything going great for you at the office still?”
“Yeah, it’s still great.”
“Is the work enough? I know you are way over qualified for what you are currently doing. I’m surprised you even applied, why did you?” Sam asked.
“Before I answer, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.” Sam agreed.
“If I am over qualified as you put it, why was I hired?” I asked curiously.
“A lot of reasons I suppose, but it’s primarily the reason why I asked you to walk with me. I know we hired you for the Project Coordinator position as a support role, but I’ve thought that it isn’t really an efficient use of your time. The problem is both Amy and I are so swamped we know we needed the help yet we don’t have the time to give you enough instructions to be of real use for us. I hope that makes sense.”
“It does. What I think you’re saying is that both of you are far too busy to give us guidance on how to help you enough to make a dent in things the organization has to get done.”
“Yes, exactly. Tobias is only part-time because of his classes, but he will be graduating in a few months. What I’m thinking is seeing if would want to take the full-time Coordinator role and revise your job description so we can utilize you for bigger projects. Have you take the lead on certain aspects or certain divisions and have you be responsible for those accounts. That’s if it is something you’d like to take on.” Sam explained.
“Sure, I’d be willing to, I’m just not sure how great I’d do. I’m still getting the hang of everything.”
“I’ve seen your work and the small changes you implemented beyond what was asked of you. Plus, your feedback at all of the staff meetings have been really insightful and have done wonders for us.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, they have. I know we haven’t mentioned the positive results at the staff meetings and have just been using them to dole out tasks, but I’d like to start changing that. I want all of you to feel and see what everyone’s contributions have done for the organization. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve felt like we’ve been straying away from what I envisioned all of this to be and I wanted to real it back in before it turned into something I didn’t recognize anymore.”
“I get that.”
“I still have to run it by Amy, but as you know we just launched our spirits and liquor division, and I’m going to need a lot of help with it. We have our challenge competitions coming up, distribution launch campaign assuming we land NSK, and books signings, and I could use a right-hand man. Since you have small business experience, I think you could be a tremendous help. All we would need to do is revise your job description to what it rightfully should be. What do you say?”
“Sounds great!” I said excitedly.
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, definitely.” I smiled.
“Great. So now that means, you still have to answer my question of why you applied.”
“Oh, I promised to tell you, didn’t I?”
“Yep.” That toothy grin flashed across his face. It was so endearing.
Now was my chance to tell him how I felt, it was now or never, but I didn’t want to ruin my new promotion. My mind told me to keep my mouth shut and not risk the career advancement, but my heart wanted to questions answered.
“Well, it was because of you, mostly.” My heart won this round.
“Me?”
“Yeah. A part of it was I wanted to work with a non-profit, but the other reason was that it would give me the opportunity to get to know you, even if only in a professional setting. I mean, ever since I spilled a drink on your suit at the dojo party last year, I just had to get to know you.”
“That was you? No wonder you seemed so awfully familiar.”
“Yeah and I am so sorry for ruining your suit and then running away without offering some sort of compensation. Here, let me pay for a new one…” I looked for my wallet in my purse, and he put a hand on mine to stop me.
“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to, it’s like a month’s salary.” He squeezed my hand.
“Sorry.” I winched.
“It’s alright.” He chuckled. “Oh, Jamie, you are so ridiculously apologetic. It’s cute, and all but you should stop apologizing for who you are, quirks and all.” As he continued to hold my hand, his thumb started to caress the back of mine.
I wasn’t quite sure if it was a subconscious act of his as he made no attempt acknowledging what he was doing.
“Sorry.”
“There you go again.” Sam chuckled, and he lifted a hand to my face and lifted my chin up so I could look up at him. The look in his eyes changed, they searched mine. My lips parted with a sharp intake of breath, and his
gaze dropped to my mouth.
“Jamie, I…” Sam whispered. He placed his hand on the back of my neck and drew me in close and kissed me slow and tentative at first but remained gentle. A gasp escaped me, and he answered with a groan of his own. His fingers intertwined in my hair as if he was desperate to explore further.
Sam’s breathing turned ragged, and he pulled me in closer to the warmth of his body in a tight embrace. “We can’t do this,” he whispered cupping my face in his hands. His gaze returned to mine, full of regret and confusion. “Believe me, as much as I want to Jamie, we can’t do this.”
“Why not?” I stared at him, out of breath and my heart beating loudly, my body still electrified from his tough This was everything I hoped would happen and here he was saying we shouldn’t let it happen. His eyes betrayed him, they were full of desire, but he looked torn. As if he couldn’t decide what he apparently wanted and what common sense was telling him. What was it telling him?
“Because…” he whispered, his voice ragged. He kissed me harder this time around, a faint moan escaped my lips. I was weak, and I wanted so much from him. He was no longer gentle, his tongue was voracious and explored my mouth with a hungry need. With a deep groan, he pulled me close with his powerful arms, wanting to consume more.
“God help me. I need you…” He filled my mouth, finding the most delicate spots. I couldn’t hold back, and I arched into him, bringing my breasts in contact with his chest and it caused him to give a low, guttural groan. He released me then, “We should stop. As much as I…”
“Yes?” I whisper.
“…I…we should get back, it’s getting late.”
Chapter Nine
JAMIE
“HEY SAM, can I ask you a question?” I asked as we stopped short of the office parking lot. We had walked back in silence, both of us not knowing what to say about what took place. I could tell it was an entirely unexpected whim on his part, but it was something I had wanted for a long time. Confirmation that I could be more. I wanted to make sure before we left that all questions were answered.
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