by Imani King
So, yeah. Speaking to my mother was difficult. She sounded older, there was a fragility in her voice that I didn't recognize and that honestly kind of scared the shit out of me. My parents were getting older, even as they remained the same age in my memories.
"Oh, I'm glad to hear that," she said. "Is there – is there something you need?"
I bit back an angry comment about needing them three years ago. "No. I'm just calling to let you know that you and dad are going to be grandparents, and that I'm asking the girl I love to marry me. I thought you should know."
Slowly, quietly, the sound of weeping came through the phone. It doesn't matter how angry you are, no one enjoys hearing their mother cry.
"Mom?" I asked. "It's OK. It's a good thing, right? You always wanted to –"
"Oh, Dallas! I know you're angry at us, do you think I don't know that? After all this time? And now you call out of the blue like this and tell me you're going to have a baby of your own and I just," she broke off, crying openly. "I just miss you so much. We miss you so much."
"I miss you, too," I told her shortly. "And I didn't call to fight with you, but you must know I didn't just leave for no reason."
My mother sniffled and I listened as she tried to get herself together. "I know," she said sadly. "I know, son. You know I've been in therapy for two years? One of my friends recommended it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry we let you down. I think about you every day, Dallas. Every day."
Goddamn, what was happening to me? A lump formed in my throat at those two simple words – 'I'm sorry.'
"Mom –" I croaked, but she didn't hear me.
"I know your father and I screwed up. And I also know that we're not just going to be able to fix things with words, but I just want you to know I'm so happy to hear from you. I understand if you don't want us there at your wedding, my therapist told me that if you reached out I had to respect your boundaries. But hearing you, it's all I've wanted for years. Just to hear you. To know you're OK."
A sickening wave of guilt crashed over me. Accompanied, as ever, by the kind of rage that comes from being failed by the only people in the world who are supposed to have your back at all times. My mother was right – a few words weren't going to fix things. But maybe, maybe, if what she was saying about understanding that they'd let me down was true, we could try to build something new?
"I am OK," I told her. "I think. And I'm going to talk to Tia about –"
"Tia? Is that her name? What – who is she? Where is she from? Does she –"
"Mom," I said, unable to keep the smile at my mother's typical busy-bodying off my face. "Slow down. I wouldn't be calling you if I didn't want you to know her. But I have a lot of things to do right now, a lot of things to plan. I just wanted you to know what was going on. I can call you again if you want, maybe next week? How does that sound?"
"Yes, Dallas. That sounds – it sounds wonderful. Please, son, please believe me when I say I want to do everything I can to be a part of your life again. I –"
"OK, mom. I hear you." I had to get off the phone with her, it was overwhelming and I needed to have a cool head for everything that was coming. "Next week. I'll call you."
"Alright. Yes, please do. I – I love you."
I closed my eyes and swallowed, hard. "I love you too, mom."
We hung up and I sat there on the sofa for a few minutes, trying to control the chaos of memories and love and hurt in my heart. But I didn't give myself too long, because there were more calls to make. The next was to Jessica Montrose, a close friend from high school – and the one person I could think of to give me advice on a very specific topic. When she picked up, she had the exact same hesitance in her voice that my mom did.
"Dallas? Dallas Corbett?"
"Yeah, Jess, hey."
"Dallas?!" she yelled, her voice reaching a pitch I didn't think possible. "Oh my God! What the hell – what's happening? Are you in town? Can we –"
"Jess," I cut in, laughing – she was as excitable as ever. "Jess, chill. I'm not back in town."
"Oh. OK. It's just been so long! I honestly didn't think I was ever going to hear from you again. My mom said that Ashley Wilson's dad spoke to your dad and he said you moved to Wyoming or something? To be some crazy mountain man?"
"Montana," I corrected her. "I moved to Montana. And I'd like to think I'm not some crazy mountain man, but I did need to get away from Texas for a while, that's true."
"Huh. Well I hope that's working out for you."
"It is, actually. That's kind of why I'm calling. I need advice. Girl-advice. And I thought you would be the perfect person to give it."
Jessica giggled. "Oh I can definitely help you there. You're having girl trouble, Dallas? That doesn't sound like you. You know if you moved back home you'd have half the city trying to date you, right?"
"Well, it's not really trouble. It's just – well, I need to buy a ring."
There were a few seconds of silence and then what I can only describe as an ear-piercing 'squee.' "What? A ring?! You're getting married? Oh my God! Dallas! Who is she? What's her name? Is she –"
"Jess!"
"OK, OK, I'm sorry if I'm freaking out but this is huge!"
"Yeah, it is," I agreed, "it's definitely huge. And I don't have a single clue about any of it. All I know is I need a ring. Probably a diamond ring, right?"
Jessica sucked her breath in. "OK, so here's the deal. I'll help you out. But I want the story. I want you to tell me everything. I want to know what you've been up to!"
"No problem," I agreed. "I want to hear about your life, too. Are you still with, uh, what was his name? Joe? Jake?"
"Joe Barnes? Ha, no, I haven't even seen him for a couple of years. But let's get your ring situation figured out first, and then I can tell you all about my love life. Cool?"
"Cool."
"So," she said, in a tone of voice that indicated the beginning of an interesting project. "You need to tell me about this girl. What's her name?"
"Tia."
"Tia? Oh, that's a pretty name. OK, so you need to tell me about Tia. Like, what's her style? Her personality? Is she a traditional type of girl or not really?"
"Uhhh," I stalled, confused by the barrage of questions. "Her style? I – uh, I don't know. What does that even mean?"
Jessica sighed indulgently. "Typical man. OK, let's start with the simple stuff. Like, her clothes, for example. How does she dress? How does she do her hair and make-up? Is it really out-there and wild or more subdued?"
"Hmm. More subdued? Maybe?"
I spent the next two hours deep in conversation with Jessica as she grilled me more thoroughly than any lawyer could have done on every detail of Tia's tastes and personality. When we were finished I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted – an internally flawless four carat princess cut diamond solitaire. Anything larger than four carats was deemed 'gaudy' and 'probably too much' for Tia by Jess, who actually thought two and a half or three carats might have been even better. I, however, was not in the mood for subtlety. If Tia thought four carats was too much, we could change it, but part of me wanted a big, beautiful, statement diamond for that moment when she first laid eyes on it.
Speaking of that moment, I had to come up with something. There weren't going to be any standard sunset or restaurant proposals for my girl, no way. It didn't have to be flashy, but it did have to be meaningful. I wanted Tia to know that I'd made a real effort to do something special for her, something she would remember. With that in mind, I called Amber Ketcher...
Seventeen
Tia
By late November I could detect not a bump, really, but a new roundness to my belly. It was firmer to the touch than usual, too. And as uncertain of the future as I was, I was also thrilled. It was at Dallas's cabin one night, after we'd spent most of the afternoon in bed, that he caught me standing sideways in front of the mirror.
"There," I said, guiding his hand to the tiny protrusion in my midsection. "Can you feel that? It's defi
nitely new. Unless I'm just eating too much."
He spread his fingers out and squeezed, very gently. "I did that, didn't I?"
I turned to him as he grinned behind me, as proud as a rooster. "Yeah," I giggled. "You did."
My phone rang just as Dallas was nudging his fingers under the waistband of my panties. Marcy. I playfully admonished him to keep his hands to himself for five minutes and took the call.
"Tia? Are you busy? We're doing something on Saturday afternoon, just wondering if you wanted to come along."
"Sure," I replied, assuming it was going to be one of our usual gatherings at Amber's apartment to eat junk food and gossip to our heart's content. "Is it at Amber's?"
"Well," Marcy replied, sounding slightly odd, "no. It isn't. We, uh, we thought we might go for a hike."
"A hike?" I asked. I wouldn't describe my friends in Montana as couch potatoes, but I wouldn't describe them as outdoorswomen, either. "Where?"
"Oh, um, just up one of the ridges outside town. Amber, uh, she said it might be fun."
"Amber said that?" I asked suspiciously. Something wasn't right. Marcy sounded completely unconvincing.
"Yeah. And it sounded pretty important. That you be there, I mean. Not that it's this huge deal or anything, I just, uh –"
"What the hell is going on?" I asked. "You're acting strange. Why do we have to –"
Dallas suddenly grabbed the phone out of my hand and spoke to Marcy himself.
"She'll be there."
Then he hung up and handed it back to me, shrugging. "It's just a hike, Tia. It'd be good for you to get out there in the fresh air, and it's not strenuous at all."
"What is this?" I asked, baffled. "Some kind of conspiracy to turn me into a hiker? What about the bears?"
"No bears, especially not at this time of the year. Go on, she said it was important, right?"
I threw my hands up. "OK, OK! I'll go on the damn hike! I just don't see why everyone is being so weirdly insistent about it."
A few days later I found myself packed into Amber's car like a sardine along with Amber herself, Marcy, Kayla and Madison, driving up into the foothills that overlooked River Bend. It didn't take long for me to feel an odd, excited energy in the air. My friends were practically levitating off their seats. But when I asked what was going on they all looked out the windows and swore up and down that I was imagining things.
"You're all crazy," I told them. "Dragging me out here to hike up a mountain for no reason on a Saturday! We could be eating chocolate cake at Amber's right now, and instead we're out here trying to get eaten by wild animals."
No one responded, apart from a few knowing grins, and soon enough we arrived at a little clearing in the trees. Amber parked and turned the engine off. I looked outside, and then down at my phone.
"It's three-thirty, you guys. It's already getting dark. Are you sure this is a good –"
"Yes," Marcy responded firmly, opening the door and pulling me out behind her. Everyone else followed and it didn't take me long to notice they were all looking at me.
"What?!" I demanded, exasperated. "Why are you all looking at me like that? You invited me on this hike, remember? I have no idea what we're doing so, uh, someone else better lead the way."
They stayed where they were, expectant smiles on their faces. It was Marcy who finally broke the stalemate, pointing to a spot in the trees directly behind me. "What's that?"
I turned, at first seeing nothing and then noticing a faint glow. "What the –?"
I walked over to where the light was coming from, assuming the rest of them were behind me, and pushed the prickly branches of a fir tree aside so I could get a look. I blinked and did a double-take, unsure as to what I was seeing. Lights. Tiny white Christmas lights dotted the branches of the trees on either side of a narrow path that was itself lined with tea-light candles, their flames flickering in the breeze.
"What is this?" I asked, thoroughly confused, turning around to see all four of my friends still standing beside the car. "What are you guys doing? Come look at this – it's beautiful."
"No," Madison called back, "it's OK. I think you should check it out yourself, Tia."
I obviously knew something was up by then, but I still didn't know exactly what it was. I turned back, stepping onto the path as it led me into the woods. Someone had hung ornaments in the trees, delicate little colored glass stars and flowers, twinkling in the candlelight. I continued tentatively, rounding a corner and then gasping with delight.
I was in a tiny clearing, not bigger than four feet across, and the trees here had been absolutely festooned with the tiny lights, white and blue, so the whole space around me glowed surreally.
"Oh!" I said, delighted. A sudden rustle in the undergrowth caught my attention and who appeared but Beau the dog.
"Beau," I greeted him, kneeling down to scratch his ears. "How did you get all the way –"
"Tia."
I looked up, recognizing his voice before I'd even laid eyes on him. And there he was, Dallas Corbett, looking like a God in a suit, his hair freshly shorn.
"Oh my God!" I gushed. "You did this? Dallas – and you're in a suit! Why are you in a suit in the middle of the forest? Not that it doesn't look good, I mean."
It did look good. It looked so good I almost couldn't believe it was him, standing there all crisp and tailored like a freakin' billionaire from a movie.
"I clean up good, don't I?" he joked, taking my hand and planting a kiss on the tip of my nose.
"You're so cold!" I exclaimed. "How long have you been out here? What are you doing?"
"A long time," he chuckled. "In fact I was starting to worry I was going to freeze to death before you girls got your act together. Do you like it?"
I looked up at the lights in the trees, as random soft flakes of snow began to float down from the darkening sky above. "Yes," I whispered. "Yes, Dallas. It's beautiful. It looks like a fairytale, or a –"
My voice caught in my throat as I suddenly noticed a framed photograph had been placed on a stump just to one side of me. My parents. Their faces blurred as tears welled up in my eyes. I looked back at Dallas and for a few seconds, didn't realize what he was doing down on one knee in front of me. When it sank in, I almost lost it completely.
I should have known. Why else would he have set up this little fairy's grotto in the woods? All the weirdness from him and my friends made sense now.
"Don't you start," he said gently, looking up at me. "I'm not finished yet, Tia." He nodded at the photo of my parents. "I thought you might want them here for this."
My knees felt weak and wobbly, and I was struggling to maintain my composure. I managed, though, with Dallas's strong hand squeezing mine and his blue-eyed gaze steadying my heart. I watched, speechless, as he pulled a small jewelry box out of his pocket and opened it up facing me. Inside was the most gorgeous ring I have ever seen. A single, perfect diamond threw off sparks of light and I put my hand over my mouth, awed.
"Oh Dallas," I whispered. "Oh. It's so beautiful! You didn't – it's so lovely! You didn't have to do that! I –" I stopped, unable to utter another word, when he squeezed my hand to let me know he wasn't finished yet.
"You're the one," he said, his deep voice cutting through the pine-scented air. "You're the one, Tia. The one I never even allowed myself to dream I'd meet. The girl who's already made me a much better man than I ever could have been without you." He reached up and touched my belly tenderly. "You said you wanted to do this right, didn't you? Well that's what I want, too. For myself, yes, but mostly for you and for this little girl or boy. It's funny, isn't it? I thought I was doing so well out here alone, away from all the entanglements of other people – and then you came along and showed me just how wrong I was. I love you, Tia Kinsley. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?"
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and felt hot tears streaking down my cold cheeks. It couldn't be happening. Could it? Could something this wonderful
be happening to me?
"Hey. Hey, babe."
"Yes?" I breathed. "I'm – Dallas, I –"
"Will you marry me?"
I laughed through my tears, realizing I hadn't actually answered him yet. And when I said that word – 'yes' – he took the ring from its nesting place in the jewelry box and slid it onto the fourth finger of my left hand. I looked down at it, moving my fingers delightedly, surprised by how heavy it felt. Then Dallas stood up and took me in his arms, twirling me around in the cold air and burying his face in my neck. When he put me down we stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other, smiling so hard it felt like our faces might break. Then he leaned his head back and shouted "YES!" at the sky. "Yes! She said YESSS!"
Suddenly Amber, Marcy, Madison and Kayla appeared. "So," Madison deadpanned, having heard Dallas's announcement. "I assume you said yes?"
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak without crying, and found myself smothered by hugs and kisses and congratulations. Dallas stood back, watching happily.
"I guess I should give you a hug, too," Amber joked, "even if you have been a major pain in the ass ever since you arrived in River Bend."
"Yeah," he said, "about that. I'm not going to make a big song and dance about it, ladies, but let's just say I know I haven't been the friendliest guy in town, and that part of my life is over now. Mostly thanks to this lovely lady," he added, gesturing towards me, "and her magical, jerk-transforming powers."