“Score! Turn around and I’ll do your back.”
Kiran turned slowly, bracing his hands against the top of the stall. The combination of the soap and Rohan’s hands sent pleasure humming through his body. Everywhere Rohan touched quivered with sensitivity. His shoulders. The hard knobs of his spine.
“You have a lot of old scars.”
“Yeah.” Gavin had mentioned his scars. There could be any number of explanations but Kiran’s mind kept returning to a whip.
Rohan ran the soap under his armpits. Kiran winced and immediately Rohan drew the soap down a biceps.
“Ticklish, huh?”
“A little,” Kiran conceded.
“Handy to know.” Rohan’s voice held a hint of laughter, and Kiran’s mouth curled into a wide smile. He enjoyed being with Rohan like this, the teasing and safety. Rohan moved his attention to Kiran’s back again, gradually working down to his ass. Kiran tensed a fraction, anticipating a move into sexual, but Rohan kept the contact clean. How he managed to keep hold of the soap bemused Kiran. He struggled to retain the thought. Rohan’s gliding hands took precedence and his mind wandered into the future.
This was how it could be between them. Laughter. Pleasure. Love.
Damn, he was a fool to even think about walking away. Rohan was right about living in the here and now, looking to the future, but something inside him refused to blow off his fears. Rohan’s fingers crept between the globes of his ass, tickling across his entrance before retreating, moving between his legs to his balls. A slow twist of Rohan’s wrist slid the soap across his scrotum.
More, Kiran thought. Damn, that felt good. His cock strained, and Kiran’s hands tightened on the top of the stall.
“Widen your stance for me,” Rohan ordered.
Kiran didn’t consider objecting. He spread his legs and waited, his stomach bucking at the thought of what Rohan might do next. He wanted more direct touching yet the drag of the soap across his skin and the firm press of Rohan’s fingers sent his eagerness soaring, a moan of enjoyment building in his chest.
The soap ran over his butt, a finger pressing his perineum briefly before moving away. His cock jerked, the rush of excitement from sensitive nerve endings beating at his willpower. He could always turn and attack, make Rohan drop the soap and get to the good stuff faster. Kiran didn’t do that. Instead he suffered through the pleasure.
Rohan ran the soap across the sensitive skin of his inner thighs, tantalizingly close before retreating to skim across the muscles and tendons of his legs and calves. His feet.
Then, the hand lifted from his body. He sensed Rohan standing behind him and knew he was right when the soap splattered into the tiny puddle of water that had collected in the soap dish.
“Turn around.” Rohan’s voice emerged low and husky, taut with lust.
Kiran suppressed a shudder, moving purposely slow just to hear Rohan’s voice again.
“Turn around,” Rohan repeated, and Kiran released his grip on the top of the stall to turn to face him.
Rohan’s brows rose when he saw the poorly hidden grin on Kiran’s face.
“You did that on purpose.”
“You’re so sexy when you rasp out orders. It makes me hot.” Kiran’s smile widened when he noticed the sexy glitter in Rohan’s eyes. He noticed something else too. “You want me.”
“Of course I do. That’s a given,” Rohan said. “You talk too much. Stop.”
Kiran snorted. “Make me.”
“My pleasure.” He crowded Kiran into the corner of the shower and took possession of his mouth. He ate at Kiran’s lips with an air of desperation, nipping his bottom lip before laving the sting away. Their tongues slid together in a sensuous dance. Rohan’s fingers slipped into his hair and he held him tight, mastering him with the kiss, fueling his need.
Kiran closed his eyes and immediately slipped into a series of flickering pictures. Blood. Damn there was so much blood, yet the master held his head and wouldn’t let him move. Bubbling sounds of horror came from deep in his chest, yet the dying woman still kissed him, still dripped blood over his face. With a burst of strength he ripped from his captor’s touch, a yell of fear echoing around him.
“Kiran? Kiran!”
Kiran’s eyes blinked open to find Rohan studying him with a worried expression on his face.
There was no blood. No dead woman.
Kiran swallowed and bit his bottom lip to stop the unmanly quiver. “I…I don’t think I like my head being held like that. I…damn!” He swiped his hands over his eyes, trying to block out the concern in Rohan’s face. “I…can we talk about this later?”
“Of course,” Rohan said. “It’s just your head?”
“Yeah, I know you’ve done that to me before and I didn’t freak but…fuck! I’m sorry.”
“You have no need to apologize. How about something to take your mind off your flashback?”
Flashback.
Yeah, that’s exactly what he’d had. It had felt so real and connected with his other dreams so well he knew the memory held an element of truth. He coughed to clear his throat and nodded, striving for lightness. “What did you have in mind?”
“Why don’t you wait and see?” When Kiran hesitated, Rohan said, “Something bothers you then tell me. The last thing I want to do is to make you afraid.”
This time Kiran nodded, and with a confident grin, Rohan knelt in front of him. He grasped his thighs for balance and started to explore his genitals. The tension bled from Kiran in one harsh exhalation when Rohan’s hand curled around his shaft. A moan built as Rohan pumped it hard in the way Kiran loved. He gripped him in an uncompromising fist with no tentativeness. Perfect. It felt bloody perfect, and soon the tension humming through his body was the good kind.
When Rohan released his dick, he nearly complained, but almost instantly a warm, hot mouth surrounded his tip. Gentle fingers stroked and probed his balls, the sensation becoming gradually firmer and more forceful, almost to the point of pain.
“Damn that feels good,” Kiran said in a guttural voice.
Rohan didn’t speak but glanced up to meet his gaze. Everything he felt showed in his eyes—the love, the acceptance. The pleasure he felt.
Hesitantly, Kiran ran his fingers over Rohan’s dark hair, and his lover smiled around his shaft, silently encouraging him, telling him he could take a bit of force. Rohan sucked his cock, letting the underside rub along his tongue. Kiran tried not to move. Success was short-lived, and his hips jerked, driving his cock deeper into Rohan’s mouth. His legs quivered under the sensual onslaught, the pleasure a river of sensations, one running into the next until he groaned aloud. The tension built with each suck, each painful tug of his balls. He fought, struggling to make it last, but eventually the stimulation became too much for him. Kiran shattered with a heartfelt groan of delight, his entire body shuddering in reaction.
Gradually he came back to his senses and realized the water pouring over their heads had become frigid, and Ambar would be pissed. He grinned at the thought as he helped Rohan stand. Pulling him into his embrace, he said, “Ambar’s gonna shout at you for using all the hot water.”
“Huh,” Rohan said. “If you think I’m taking the blame on my own you have rocks in your head.”
Kiran ignored the cold water to kiss Rohan, pouring every emerging feeling into the intimate contact. Rohan was a hard man to ignore. Kiran didn’t want to fight the battle anymore. Rohan was right. They’d celebrate the future and let the past take care of itself.
They were both breathing hard when they pulled apart. Kiran flipped off the water and went to sink to his knees.
“Hold that thought for later. I promised Ambar I’d do dinner tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
“I sucked you off because I wanted to. I don’t expect anything in return.” Rohan winked. “Not right now anyway.”
Chapter Six
“I’m looking forward to this run,” Ambar said, leaning between the front s
eats to speak to Kiran and Rohan. “I would have enjoyed it with just us, but to run with Saber and Gavin and Leticia is exciting. I wonder if Charlie and Emily feel left out. I know I would.”
Rohan shot a glance at Kiran, concerned by his silence. While Ambar jumped about with excitement, scarcely able to sit still, Kiran had hardly said a word.
“It should be fun,” Ambar said. “It’s so good not having to worry about nosy people gawking through the windows or running at odd hours and spoiling our fun.”
Rohan decided to force a reaction. “Are you looking forward to the run?”
“What if I can’t shift?”
“That’s silly,” Ambar said with a scoffing sound. “Felines don’t forget how to shift.”
“That’s enough, Ambar,” Rohan said.
Ambar must have realized her tact had misfired. She pulled a face. “Sorry.”
Kiran glanced out the window, pretending interest in the scenery. “I was thinking about shifting before, the mechanics of it, and my mind went blank. I don’t know how.”
Reaching over, Rohan placed his hand on Kiran’s knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “It doesn’t matter either way.” Rohan wanted to offer platitudes and tell Kiran it wouldn’t matter to him if he never shifted again or recovered his memory. Gut instinct told him that wouldn’t be the right thing to say. If he were the one with no recollection of his past, it would matter to him.
“This must be it.” He pulled up and parked, switching off the ignition to leave a heavy silence.
“There they are.” Ambar jumped out of the vehicle and hurried over to join Leticia and Emily.
Rohan bent over to snare Kiran’s attention. He pressed a kiss to Kiran’s lips, keeping it simple but trying to offer comfort and love at the same time. His thoughts staggered at the thought. Yeah, love. That was exactly it. If he had his way, he’d haul Kiran off to a private place and mark him in the blink of an eye. Kiran wasn’t ready. It was the only thing that held Rohan back.
“Come on. Let’s go.” Rohan opened his door and waited. A flash of impatience hit him when Kiran dallied. Dammit, couldn’t he try instead of acting so whipped?
Through the vehicle window, Rohan saw Kiran’s broad chest rise and fall as if he heaved a sigh. He exploded into movement then, bursting out of the SUV. A trace of panic rippled across his face, his cheeks pale. Rohan’s impatience fell away, and he found himself rounding the vehicle.
“Kiran?”
Kiran swallowed, his throat moving with the gulp. “I’m scared.”
“That’s okay.” Rohan reached for his hand, feeling pleasure when Kiran’s fingers wrapped around his. “Come on. Gavin’s here. We’ll help, and if you can’t shift, it doesn’t matter. There’s no pressure.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“Yeah, it is, but I really don’t care how this plays out. All I want is to feel you beside me in my bed every night. To feel you inside me.”
Kiran sighed. “We don’t always get what we want.”
Fear shot through Rohan then. It was the hopeless note in Kiran’s voice, the acceptance that he didn’t deserve happiness. “Let’s go.” He started walking, dragging Kiran until he followed of his own volition.
Until Kiran had entered his life he hadn’t connected with anyone else, he hadn’t wanted another man with the intensity he wanted Kiran. Despite Kiran’s earlier words and his excitement about his job, he now seemed resigned and depressed. Rohan didn’t know what had happened in the interim, but there was no way he intended to let Kiran slip out of his life without a fight. No way.
“Great night for a run,” Gavin said when they reached the group.
“Kiran is worried because he doesn’t remember how to shift,” Ambar blurted.
“Why don’t you button up?” Rohan sent Ambar a frustrated glare. Being the center of attention wouldn’t exactly help.
Saber frowned, glanced at Gavin. “No problem. It will be like the young ones shifting for the first time. We’ll talk you through it.”
“They don’t always shift the first time, so don’t feel pressured,” Gavin added.
“Nope, it took me a couple of tries before I shifted for the first time,” Leticia said, linking arms with Gavin. “My brother Lucas gave me a hard time because he managed a shift on first attempt.”
Her experience didn’t relax Kiran any. Rohan felt the tension in his hand and saw it in the strain around his eyes. He tightened his grip until Kiran glanced at him. Rohan forced an encouraging smile and made a mental note to tell Ambar not to tease Kiran about shifting if he failed.
“Emily,” Saber said suddenly. “What are you doing with that picnic basket?”
“Carrying it,” she said. “I’m pregnant not terminally ill. I can handle a picnic basket.”
“Humor him, Emily. Enjoy the pampering while it lasts,” Leticia said, wrinkling her nose with an impish grin at her mates.
Despite Emily’s protest, she let Saber take the picnic basket. The private smile they shared and the way their gazes both flickered down to Emily’s stomach made Rohan feel like a voyeur. And envious. He craved the same closeness in a relationship.
They walked through the gate by a set of cattle yards and made their way across the paddock in twos and threes. There were eight of them including Saber and Emily Mitchell.
“I’m glad we moved to Middlemarch,” Rohan said to Kiran. “We’re going to be happy here. All of us.”
Kiran opened his mouth and closed it again, his shoulders slumping.
“All of us,” Rohan repeated. “This is how I shift. I pull up an image of a tiger in my mind and concentrate on it really hard. I imagine transforming into the beast and the change starts almost automatically. The first time is hard, and the change hurts. It’s a good pain. It brings a high with it, a sense of exhilaration. And when the transformation is complete, it’s amazing. You see so much more, smell things you can’t in human form. Hear things. You’ll see.”
Kiran cleared his throat. “Imagining the tiger is part of my problem. The harder I concentrate the worse it is.”
“That’s easy,” Rohan said with a laugh. “I’ll change first so you can see me in my tiger form.”
Kiran nodded but didn’t look confident.
Rohan squeezed his hand, his heart lurching in sympathy. He’d never faced anything like this, changing for the first time with complete self-belief and not a shred of uncertainty. A brash youth at twelve, he’d gone through his first change without incident. Ambar hadn’t been much better, shifting with ease for the first time at age thirteen.
Saber and Emily stopped in a sheltered spot in front of a schist outcrop. A gentle breeze bore the scents of grass and the distant herd of cattle. Saber spread a blanket on the ground and settled Emily. Charlie kissed both Leticia and Gavin before dropping to the tussock near Emily.
Rohan noticed Charlie had a daypack. He pulled a soccer ball out and tossed it to Gavin with a grin on his face. “You can play three a side. I’m the referee and my call is final.”
Saber whipped off his shirt. “Emily, close your eyes.”
An impish grin curled across her lips. “But the scenery is so pretty.” She blinked her lashes at him. “I’m a pregnant woman. You should indulge me.”
Saber snorted but Rohan saw a softening of his features. He dropped to the blanket at Emily’s side. “I’d be happy to indulge you, sweetheart.” He leaned over her, pushing her gently back until she sprawled full length on the blanket.
Emily wrinkled her nose. “Spoilsport.” But her hands curled around his neck and she returned his kiss with enthusiasm.
Saber lifted his head. “Hurry up and undress while Emily’s too busy to watch,” he barked out.
“I’ll take notes for you, Emily,” Charlie said.
Emily giggled. “Appreciate it.”
Saber growled and grabbed Emily’s attention.
Grinning at the interplay, Rohan started to strip. The others did the same except Kiran and Gavin.
Rohan figured he’d done enough talking. Nothing he’d said so far had convinced Kiran he could shift. He’d go with action. He removed the rest of his clothing and footwear, setting them on a rock.
Closing his eyes, he pictured a tiger in his mind and imagined changing. The familiar prickle shimmered over his skin, giving way to pain as his bones shifted, lengthened. Muscles enlarged, contracted, and Rohan fell forward, vaguely aware of the others shifting around him.
“All done,” Charlie said. “You can stop distracting Emily.”
“Damn woman will be the death of me,” Saber muttered.
“You love me, really.” Emily sat up and placed Saber’s hand on her stomach. “I have proof.”
Saber brushed his fingers over her cheek and rolled to his feet in a fluid move. He removed the last of his clothes and shifted smoothly into a black leopard, padding away to join a lion and a tiger. Rohan waited with Kiran, silently urging him to action, no longer able to speak because of his feline form.
“You okay, Kiran?” Gavin stood at his side, the only feline still in human form.
“Nothing is familiar about doing this. Are you sure I’m a shifter?”
“That’s what all my tests say, and Ambar saw you do a partial shift.”
Nerves hit Kiran square in the gut. They might think he was a shifter but something told him he had never spent much time in tiger form.
Rohan prowled closer and rubbed his big head against Kiran’s thighs. Power emanated from him. Strength. The other man purred, and Kiran stroked his head, sliding his hand over the muscular shoulders and feeling the contrasting softness of his silky fur and firm underlying muscles.
Rohan nudged him roughly before backing up and nailing Kiran with an expectant stare.
Hell.
Gavin placed a hand on his shoulder. “It helps to close your eyes and picture a tiger.”
“So everyone keeps telling me.” Charlie, Emily and Gavin were all staring at him from where they waited, and Kiran started to feel like an exhibit in a zoo. According to Rohan and Ambar, he’d had a close shave and escaped that terror. He didn’t want to make a return. “Stop staring,” he ordered.
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