“Okay,” Lilly says with a smile.
My mum briefly looks away from Lilly and glances at me. The look in her eyes hits me hard. She looks so happy. “Now, I want to know everything about you, Lilly. This is a first for me. I want to know why my son is so fascinated with you, other than your obvious beauty.”
“I’m so sorry,” my dad mutters to me. “I warned her not to do this but she’s been waiting a long time to be introduced to a girlfriend.”
“Lilly’s not—” My dad raises one eyebrow at me and it stops me mid denial. “Fine, okay, I guess she is.”
We both stand and watch as my mother grabs two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and hands one to Lilly.
“Let’s get a drink,” Dad suggests, so we leave them too it and head to the bar.
“They’re going to be requesting that we take our seats in a few minutes,” my mum says as she and Lilly join us at the bar about thirty minutes later. I kept an eye on the two of them the whole time. They didn’t stop chatting, and my mum didn’t stop smiling. I think it’s safe to say she approves of Lilly. “Don’t let this one go, Luc, she’s a keeper,” Mum says with a wink.
This weird feeling settles in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t aware that I needed the approval of my parents. I’m big enough and ugly enough to do my own thing and make my own decisions, but it feels good knowing that my mum likes Lilly.
I look up to Lilly to see her reaction, but the face looking back at me isn’t what I was expecting.
“Lilly, are you okay?” I ask. She looks pale. She’s looking right at me but it’s like she isn’t seeing me. “Lilly?” I prompt when she doesn’t respond.
It’s only two seconds later that I see her fall. Both Dad and I jump forward and I thankfully manage to grab her before she hits the floor. I gently lower her down. “Lilly?” I ask again as I touch her face to see if it will bring her around. She doesn’t respond, but she’s really hot.
“Put her in the recovery position. I’m ringing an ambulance,” Dad instructs, but I just panic. I stand up and back away, not knowing what to do or how to help.
Mum must see what I’m doing and immediately takes my place on the floor and rolls Lilly to her side.
The next hour is a total blur. The paramedics come. Thankfully Lilly is awake by the time they do, and tries to convince them she’s fine, but they won’t have it. They put her on to a trolley and push her out to the ambulance.
“Go on, Lucas,” my mum says, pushing at my shoulder. “She needs you.” I do as I’m told because that seems like the easiest thing, with my brain not functioning.
I sit in the back and hold Lilly’s hand on the short journey to the hospital. I’ve only been in an ambulance once before and it’s not really an experience I’d like to repeat or relive. My grip on Lilly’s hand must be painful again as I try to keep my memories at bay. I need to be here for her right now, not lost in my own head.
Chapter Thirteen
Lilly
“I’m fine, I just haven’t eaten anything all day, and then started drinking. Honestly,” I plead with the doctor when he eventually appears in my bay.
All this is crazy. There’s nothing wrong with me.
“Well I would like to do some bloods and take your blood pressure at the very minimum. People don’t tend to pass out for no reason, Miss Morrison.”
“Fine,” I mutter.
I look over to Lucas, who is stood by my bed still looking a little shell-shocked. As if the last few hours haven’t already been bad enough, he had to catch me as I keeled over in the middle of the fancy event. When he told me he wanted to show me off, I don’t think that was quite what he had in mind.
“Luc, I’m fine. Don’t look so worried,” I say softly, to try to reassure him.
“It’s fine, I know,” he says, but I have a suspicion he’s just trying to look manly in front of the doctor. The look on Lucas’ face tells a very different story.
“Your blood pressure is very low, Miss Morrison. I’ll be back in a second to do a blood test. Hopefully that will tell us what’s going on.”
I look back to Lucas and he narrows his eyes at me. He doesn’t need to say what he’s thinking; I hear it loud and clear. Maybe something isn’t right with me.
“Okay, we’ll get these done and I’ll be back with the results ASAP.”
It’s a long two hours later when the doctor reappears with some paperwork in his hand. His face is unreadable so I have no idea how bad the news could be that he’s about to give us.
I look over at Lucas and see him swallow down a lump. He’s obviously thinking the same thing.
“Okay, so I have your results…” the doctor says, and then pauses. I want to scream at him. We’re not watching X-Factor—neither of us need the tension built by a long pause.
“You’re pregnant, Miss Morrison. Congratulations.”
I stare at him blankly for a solid minute.
“I’m sorry, you’re going to need to say that again. I think I misheard you.”
“You’re pregnant,” he repeats.
“No, I can’t be. It’s not possible. You’re going to need to test again because something has gone wrong.”
“That won’t be necessary. We’ll be sending you for a scan in a few minutes so you can see for yourself.”
“But I can’t get pregnant. I was told I can’t. No, this can’t be right.”
“I need to go and fill out some paperwork, then I’ll be back and we can get you upstairs for that scan.”
I stare at him and watch the curtain fall back into place behind him. His words are on repeat inside my head. You’re pregnant. You’re pregnant.
“No, I can’t be,” I say out loud, even though he’s gone.
“Lilly?”
I’d totally forgotten Lucas was in the room until I hear my name. I turn to look at him and I’m shocked by the look on his face. He looks like he’s about to throw up.
“They’re wrong, Lucas. I can’t have kids,” I say, in the hope of lessening his obvious panic.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s a long story, but I’ve been told by doctors that I can’t have kids. I never would have let this happen otherwise,” I say, thinking about all the times we’ve had unprotected sex. I trusted Lucas when he said he was clean.
“But he just said.”
“I know what he said, Lucas. But he’s wrong. I can’t have kids,” I snap, getting angrier by the second. Why doesn’t anyone understand what I’m saying? I can’t have kids. Everything has been messed up down there for years, and then Jake happened and it all went totally down the pan.
If this is a joke, it’s not a very funny one.
“Okay, the sonographer is waiting for you,” a nurse says when she appears around the curtain. She gives us directions and says I’m free to go, but that I must book a follow up appointment with my own GP and then a midwife.
I wanted to scream at her that I don’t need a flipping midwife, but I know getting angry is not going to help.
Lucas continues to look ill as we make our way to the scanning department. We get lost twice before we manage to find the damn place. Neither of us are paying much attention to our surroundings.
I’m desperate to know what he’s thinking, why he’s freaking out so much about this. Doesn’t he believe me either?
As soon as we walk into the reception area, we’re ushered into a room by a young guy. I’m taken aback a little—I just presumed it would be a woman. Lucas gets told to sit on the chair while I get myself up on the bed after taking my gown off. It’s only when the guy gives my outfit a funny look that I remember what I’m wearing.
It is the weirdest moment of my life. After being told I can’t have kids, I never expected to ever be in the situation, or doing the things I’m being told to do.
After stripping out of the dress, I lay down on the bed feeling a little awkward seeing as I’m wearing the sexy set of lingerie Lucas bought to go with my dress. It’s pretty
clear the guy has no interest in me or any of the female population though; I think I’m more uncomfortable than he is. The sonographer covers my lower half with tissue, which I’m relieved about, and squirts gel on my belly. I expect it to be cold like it always is when you see it done on the TV, but it’s surprisingly warm.
“Okay, let’s see what’s going on in here then, shall we?”
“You won’t find anything. I can’t have kids.” He gives me a funny look, probably wondering why the hell I’ve been sent here if that’s the case, but he continues nonetheless.
He pokes the wand thing into my belly a little too harshly, making me wince.
“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to get a good angle.”
A couple of seconds later, a screen at the end of the bed flickers to life.
“If you both just look at the screen.” I do as I’m told but what I see is not what I was expecting. There isn’t a blank black screen. Instead, there is a fuzzy black screen with two obvious white shapes in the middle.
“Oh my God. Is that?”
“Yes, twins. Congratulations.”
My entire body starts shaking and I try to bring my hand up to cover my gawping mouth but it doesn’t make it.
I continue staring at the screen afraid that if I so much as blink then those two white blobs will disappear.
“Are you okay? Would you like some water?”
“No, I’m—” I stop when I look up at the guy, because he’s not looking at me. He’s looking past me to Lucas, who is sat with his head in his hands, slightly rocking back and forth.
“No, thank you,” he mutters quietly.
The guy turns back to me. “Would you like some print outs while I’m here?”
I nod, unable make a sound as I continue to stare back at the screen.
“Okay, I’ll try to get some good ones. I’d say you’re a little over twelve weeks so that makes your due date November 5th.”
I nod along to show that I am listening.
He finishes up, prints out the pictures and leaves me to get dressed again. We head to the little reception when we are done and get told to sit and wait for a nurse.
It’s another hour before we get to leave the hospital. Neither of us have said anything. I think we’re both too shocked.
Lucas rings for a taxi to go to my flat as it’s closer than his house, and seeing as it’s now almost 3am I don’t argue with him. I’m too busy hugging the maternity pack that includes the photos from the scan to my chest to care much about anything else.
Five minutes before my flat, Lucas suddenly sits forward. “Can you pull in here?” he asks.
The driver pulls the car to a stop in the petrol station as Lucas reaches for the handle.
“Where are you going?”
He doesn’t answer. He just gets out and I watch as he walks over to the twenty-four hour service window.
Two minutes later and he’s sat back in the car like nothing happened. He doesn’t say anything or give away where his thoughts might be.
I get out of the taxi while Lucas pays the driver. I head straight for the front door but Lucas hangs back. When I turn around, I see why. He’s pulled a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and is in the middle of lighting one up.
“Since when do you smoke?” I ask. I didn’t say anything when I saw him doing it last night. It was the first time I had seen or smelt any indication that it was a normal thing for him to do.
“Since I was about nine,” he mutters around the cigarette now hanging between his lips. “I’ll meet you upstairs.”
When I get in my flat, I’m relieved to see that Taylor’s door is open and the room is empty. Lucas and I need to talk and it would be better if we were alone.
Reluctantly, I put the folder down on the coffee table before getting changed into something more comfortable. I go to the kitchen and make myself a hot chocolate, hoping the warm sugar will be exactly what I need, and then I make Lucas a coffee. I take them both into the living room and sit down on the sofa to wait for him.
After thirty minutes, I start to get concerned. Surely he’s puffed himself through enough fags to start getting his head together? I know he’s struggling with this. I could see it in every one of his features, but apparently this is happening, so we need to start discussing it.
I put on some shoes before making my way down to find him. On the way to the elevator, I can’t help but look at the stairwell. It’s a weird feeling. I thought everything that happened there that day had changed my life completely. But here I am with the one thing, or two, that I thought had been taken away from me forever.
Quickly pulling myself from my thoughts, I enter the lift when the doors open and head down. When I push the door open, a rush of cold night air hits me, reminding me that it’s still early summer and here I am in only a vest top and a pair of thin pyjama bottoms. When I look around, it seems to be empty. Where is he?
I walk around the corner of the building in the hope he’s sat himself on the one benches out here, but it’s empty.
My heart starts to beat a little too fast as a feeling of dread starts to settle in my stomach.
He’s gone.
Tears start pouring down my cheeks, but the events of the evening prevent me from crying properly. I think I’m in shock. This can’t be happening.
I run around the building and through the car park looking for him, just in case I’m wrong, but I know I’m not. I know he’s gone. I can feel it.
I clutch my stomach as I look up to the stars above me. What am I going to do now?
When the cold starts to get too much, I make my way back up to the flat. The sight of the two mugs sat on the coffee table next to the maternity folder I was given tip me over the edge and I collapse into the sofa. Whole body sobs engulf me as I replay the events of the night that led to this moment.
The confusion.
The disbelief.
The joy.
The devastation.
I can’t focus on the joy. It’s too early. I still don’t believe it’s actually true. It’s the pain of being abandoned after everything that happened in the last twenty-four hours or so that overtakes every other feeling.
At some point, I must cry myself to sleep, because a loud banging on the front door wakes me. I jump off the sofa and run to the door, hoping that it’s going to be Lucas, that he needed a few hours to get his head straight, but he’s back and everything is going to be okay.
Before I pull the door open, I brush my hair back with my fingers and rub the sleep from my sore, cried out eyes.
The person standing before me when I do open the door isn’t the person I was expecting or hoping for, but it is a very welcome sight. I fall forward into his arms and the sobbing starts all over again.
“Thank God you’re okay,” he whispers in my ear as he holds me tight. “I’ve been going out of my mind all night. You weren’t answering your phone, but I knew something was wrong. You scared the shit out of me again, Lilly.”
Eventually, I compose myself enough to stand back and look at my brother.
“I’m so sorry, Dec. I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m fine, I think.”
“You think?”
“Come in, I’ll explain.”
“I’m going to fucking kill him when he reappears, Lilly. I swear to God. He doesn’t get to treat you like that. For fuck’s sake,” Dec rants after I’ve told him everything.
I try to explain the little I know about Lucas’ past, because I know that’s the problem here, but Dec won’t listen.
“I don’t give a fuck about the dude’s past. He needs to be here for you, stand by you.”
I do agree, obviously, but also a part of me does understand what Lucas might be going through right now. We never talked about it but I can imagine him saying that he doesn’t want kids. And here I am, walking around unknowingly with two of them growing inside me.
Dec looks over as another tear slips down my cheek.
“Oh, Lilly,” he says
as he wraps me in anther hug. “What are you going to do?”
I shrug and sniffle in response because I wish I had the answer to that question.
“It’s time to tell Mum and Dad everything, Lilly.” He’s right, I know he is but the prospect fills me with dread.
After booking a doctor’s appointment for later that afternoon, Dec sends me to bed. I hate to think what a state I must look after a night with too little sleep and too much crying.
“Lilly, you need to wake up. Your appointment is in an hour,” Dec says softly as he sits on my bed and places a cup of tea down on the side.
I try to drag my eyes open, but hours of tossing and turning mixed with the dried tears that are stuck to my eyelashes doesn’t make the task very easy.
I’m hoping seeing my doctor will help. She can either convince me that this is all actually happening, or that I’m the butt of some really sick joke.
“Lilly Morrison,” is called across the waiting room.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Dec asks.
“Sure,” I mutter, because it’s not like I have anything to hide from my twin.
“How can I help you today, Lilly?” Dr. Bennett asks in her usual polite manner. She’s been my doctor since I moved to Cheltenham. She’s very soft and gentle, and I really appreciated that in the aftermath of Jake.
“Apparently, I’m pregnant,” I state, and watch her brow furrow as she absorbs the information.
“Okay, have you done a test?”
“No. Last night I passed out and got taken to A&E. They did a blood test and then I had a scan.”
“Oh, I see,” she mutters, somewhat shocked.
“It’s twins.”
“Oh, Lilly. That’s such wonderful news.” My face clearly doesn’t show the same excitement. “What’s wrong? This is incredible news.”
“I was told I couldn’t get pregnant. And now here I am, apparently growing two babies, only a few weeks into a new relationship. He’s freaked out and done a runner by the looks of it, and I’m here not knowing how the hell this happened because I was told I couldn’t have children.” I don’t mean to sound angry but I can’t help it. I’m emotional, tired and confused. I cannot be held responsible for my actions or words right now.
Lilly (Angel Series Book 3) Page 15