Lilly
I’m totally confused when I wake up. I have no idea where I am. It’s takes a good few seconds for everything that’s happened to filter into my brain. I quickly uncover my left hand to check that I’ve not dreamt the whole thing. But no, because there on my hand is a huge rock.
Good lord, I’m engaged!
I did not see that coming in a million years. Well, any of this, actually. I can’t believe Lucas has bought a hotel and a house here in Devon so I can be close to Dec. It’s completely crazy.
Speaking of Dec, I reach down to grab my handbag from where I dropped it on the floor when we got here earlier and pull my phone out. I find his name and hit call. He answers on the second ring.
“How’d it go?”
“You knew about all this and didn’t tell me?” I’m amazed Dec could keep his mouth shut; he isn’t very good with secrets. Plus, I don’t think he likes Lucas, although he’s never said it out loud, so I’m surprised he did any favours for him.
“Yeah. Did you not notice I hadn’t spoken to you that much this week?” he asks and I think back. Yeah, we had a long chat after Jake appeared Friday night, but other than a few texts, that had been about it. So, that was Dec keeping a secret then!
“I didn’t think you liked Lucas. Why’d you help him?”
“I don’t not like him, Lilly. He seems okay. I just don’t like the way he treated you when he left. He does seem to want to make up for it though. I mean, how much money do you think he dropped on all that?”
“I know, it’s crazy. And the ring,” I say, once again looking down at my hand.
“What ring?”
“The engagement ring,” I hear Dec’s sharp intake of breath. “Didn’t you know about that bit?”
“No. He asked you to marry him?” Dec asks, and I’m not sure if he’s just shocked or angry from his voice. A little of both, I think. “You said yes, didn’t you?”
“Of course I did, Dec. I love him and we’re having twins together.”
“Are you sure—”
“I know what I’m doing, Dec,” I say, cutting him off.
“Are you sure? What happens if he gets freaked out and disappears again?”
“He won’t,” I say, with complete confidence in Lucas. He’s opened up to me now, and I’m confident he’ll be able to talk to me before running.
“Hmmm… I’m sorry, Lills, but I’ve got to go. It’s crazy busy down here today. Enjoy the rest of your day celebrating,” he says before hanging up, but I’m still not sure he’s entirely happy about this.
“Hey, baby. Who was that?”
“Dec. You didn’t tell him about this?” I ask, sticking my hand out towards him.
“No. I didn’t think he should know first. Shit, I was meant to ask your dad, wasn’t I?” Lucas asks suddenly.
“It’s tradition, but I’m sure my dad will get over it. You may just have to buy him an expensive bottle of whiskey!”
“That I can do. So, when do you want to become Mrs. Dalton?”
“Ugh, when I can fit into my dream dress,” I say, running a hand over my belly.
“Oh,” is Lucas’ response, along with a sad looking face.
“What?”
“I was hoping for sooner than that. I was us all to be a family.”
“We will be. We are, Luc.”
“But you’ll still be Lilly Morrison.”
“Luc, as much as I want to marry you—and I do, I promise—I also want to have time to plan it properly exactly as I, I mean we, want it. I don’t want it to be a shotgun wedding just because I’m pregnant. I want to be able to go dress shopping and try on every dress in the store, not just the ones that will fit me.”
“What if I organised it?” he asks hopefully.
“What, the wedding?”
“Yeah. I could do it, take the stress away from you.”
“But my dress,” I pout.
“Okay, let’s compromise. I hear that’s what relationships are all about anyway. We have a small wedding now and then a proper big celebration when the babies are here. They could be bridesmaid and pageboy.”
I stare into his excited and happy blue eyes, and although I really want to hold out for my perfect day, I know this is really important to him. Having a proper family. “Okay, fine. But it’s going to be small and you’re planning it. I have enough on my plate as it is,” I say once again, rubbing my belly. “I’d like to just turn up and have it happen.” I know that sounds harsh, but he knows what I mean, I hope. “Then I’ll plan the proper wedding for a couple of years’ time. How’s that?”
“Perfect, thank you,” he says, before pushing me down on the mattress and kissing the life out of me.
The rest of the weekend is mostly spent in the hotel suite bedroom. And trust me when I say I’m not complaining. After weeks of being a horny mess, I more than got what I needed. It’s just a shame I have to have nap after almost every orgasm these days!
“I think we should get married here in Cheltenham before we move down south. What do you think?”
“You know what I think, Luc. I think you sort it out. As long as I know when we’re leaving so I’ve said goodbye to everyone, I’m good.”
We’ve been back almost three weeks. The weather is swelteringly hot and I’m massive. How I still have fifteen weeks to go is beyond me; I swear I’m going to explode. Although, every time I see the midwife or consultant they tell me I’m not going to make full term. They think I’ll be lucky to get to thirty-six weeks. And as much as I’m enjoying being pregnant, I think I’ll be more than ready for it to be over by then.
“Okay. What are you doing today?” he asks as my phone pings again with another incoming message.
I don’t pick it up just in case he decides to be nosey and look at it. “Oh, I’m…uh…just meeting the girls for coffee after their shift. Then I’m not sure.” Lucas looks at me and raises an eyebrow. I’m a useless liar so he can obviously tell something’s up.
“Right.”
I get myself ready once Lucas has left for the hotel. He’s already pretty much handed the reins over to Catherine so he could stay home and work, but he says he feels more productive working away from home. Even if it means he is working in the penthouse.
It feels amazing to be able to go out now without worrying about someone watching me, that he could be around the corner. Knowing I’m totally free from him is an amazing feeling. I don’t want to feel happy and relieved that he’s gone. That’s not the kind of person I am. But it is great.
Lucas was noticeably much more relaxed when we got back from Devon. I just put it down to the fact he wasn’t keeping secrets from me anymore. But a couple of days later I went over to my flat to check the post and I found a blank envelope with all my other letters. I took them all up to the flat so I could grab some more bits before sitting on the sofa to go through it all. I opened the envelope, not having a clue what I was going to find. A small and thin square of paper slid out on to my lap. When I turned it over and read the headline, I had no idea what to think. A weird mix of happiness, relief and sadness washed through me. I had some great memories from the beginning of our relationship.
Body found Sunday morning has been named as Jake Ashworth.
I read through the short article about how his body was found in a derelict warehouse that was well known for its drug dealing and unsavoury goings on. A post-mortem showed a very high level of heroin in his system.
I let the article drop to my lap as I think about my time with Jake. Unfortunately, all the happy memories I have of us have been muted by the horrific ones towards the end.
Once I’ve pulled myself together a little, I look back at the envelope and check inside to see if there’s any clue as to who it’s come from. There isn’t anything, but I’m fairly sure this isn’t a coincidence or an accident. I’m not stupid enough to ask questions about it though. It’s best left alone.
I take the envelope and article to the bathroom. I pull out my box of matches in t
he cabinet usually used for candle lighting and I light the corner. I let the charred remains drip into the toilet. I feel a weird sense of closure from the whole thing as I push the flush and watch it all disappear. I have a new life now. New priorities. Jake is well and truly in the past.
I grab a bottle of water and throw it in my bag before rushing out to my car. I don’t know what it is about being pregnant, but it’s like suddenly I can’t get anywhere on time. I don’t think I realised how long everything would take, being the size of a small rhino!
I’m only ten minutes late as I walk through the entrance of the coffee shop. I only partly lied to Lucas this morning. I am going for coffee, just not with the girls. I’m meeting Marcus.
I sent him a selfie of me a few days ago so he would recognise me—not that it’s really necessary. I’m not sure many blonde women will turn up in the few minutes he’ll have been waiting for me with a belly this size. I look around the room after I let the door close behind me and I find him immediately. My breath catches at how much he looks like Lucas. His hair is the same colour, although shaved close to his head. His eyes, from a distance, look a little darker, and he’s a slimmer build than his older counterpart.
He begins to look more and more unsure of himself the closer I get to him.
“Marcus?”
I watch him swallow nervously before he cautiously sticks his hand out towards me. “Lilly?”
“It’s so good to meet you at last. What can I get you to drink?”
“You sit down. I’ll go.”
I give Marcus my order and watch as he heads over to the bar. Their similarities are mind-blowing. You could easily mistake them as twins.
“Thank you for agreeing to meet me,” I say when he sits back down. I know it wasn’t easy for him. He told me many time over message about how he doesn’t want to bring up the past and I understand why that might be the case from the little bit I do know about his and Lucas’ childhood.
“You’re welcome. Tell me about him. Lucas. What’s he like now? What does he do?”
I’d only given basic snippets about Lucas when we were messaging and although I’m a little more open with the details now, I’m still aware that Lucas might not want him to know too much.
“I always knew he would do well for himself,” Marcus says with a look of pure awe on his face when I talk about the hotels. “I idolised him growing up. Even after he left, because it wasn’t until then I realised how much he did for me,” he says with a sadness suddenly washing over him.
I sit quietly as Marcus gets lost in his memories for a few seconds. It’s clear that the pain is still very raw, even now he’s twenty-six.
When he comes back to me he starts to tell me about his life now. It doesn’t escape my notice that he ignores anything before his twenties. I can only imagine what life must have been like for him once Lucas got out. I was expecting him to be angry with him, but it doesn’t seem that way. Not to me, anyway. It may be different when—if—they meet. Marcus is a mechanic. He tells me how he’s always loved cars and how it’s his dream job. He has a small garage with a studio flat above not that far from here.
I’m shocked when I learn how close to each other Lucas and Marcus have been and didn’t even realise it. I know Lucas ran to London for a while but I’m surprised they are both now so close to where they grew up. If I was in their place, I’m not sure I’d want to be living locally to where all that went on. But then, what do I know about it all, really?
Marcus is busy chatting about his life when suddenly he stops mid-sentence. His mouth drops open as he stares intently over my shoulder.
Chapter Nineteen
Lucas
Lilly just lied to me.
I don’t do lies. I grew up around enough bullshit. I don’t need it now. Especially from the woman who is wearing my ring, carrying my babies and claiming that she loves me.
I go to work like normal so I don’t raise her suspicions, but I keep an eye on my phone to track where she is. I’m relieved when she arrives at the coffee shop like she said she would. I almost close the app and put the whole weird encounter down to her pregnancy this morning. Lilly has been pretty easy to live with so far. She hasn’t complained as much as some of the people I’ve read about online. She seems to be taking all the symptoms in her stride.
Something in me stops me from forgetting about it though, so I finish up what I’m doing and head out. I walk the short trip to where I know Lilly currently is and stand what I hope is out of sight, and look through the window.
The second I see her sat opposite another man I feel a wave of anger wash through me, just like when I found Jake with his hands on her. I knew my paranoia this morning was for a reason. I continue to stand and watch them as they talk and laugh together.
After a couple of minutes, I can’t stand unnoticed any longer, and I walk around to the doors and start to head towards them. I’m barely inside the coffee shop when I’m able to get a better look at the guy Lilly is sat with. Suddenly, it feels like someone’s taken a baseball bat to my chest because my breath catches and my hands shake a little.
Marcus.
I stand just inside the doorway in everyone’s way, staring at him, taking in all his features that are still so similar to my own. Just like when we were kids. He always was a miniature version of me.
Marcus must feel my stare because after a minute or two he looks my way. It takes a few seconds for him to focus on me and I see the same shock that must be on my face reflected back at me.
A flash of blonde catches my eye as Lilly’s hair whips around to see where Marcus’ attention is. Her eyes widen when she sees me. I’m not sure if it’s horror or just shock. She looks back and forth between us a few times before her mouth opens to say something, but nothing happens.
Deciding we’ve stared at each other across the room for long enough, I move forward until I’m stood at their table.
“Lilly?” I ask.
“I…uh…I was going to tell you, Luc. But Marcus wanted to meet me first, find out a little more about you. I swear I was going to tell you,” Lilly rambles on, thinking I’m mad. I guess I am mad that she lied to me, but I can sort of see why. What I’m currently feeling is a long way from anger, though. Lilly has gone out of her way to hunt down my brother. I’ve looked a couple of times but was never successful, and I always convinced myself he wouldn’t want to hear from me anyway after I left him in that hell hole.
“It’s okay,” I say, giving her shoulder a squeeze before turning to my brother. “Marcus, you look good,” I say awkwardly. I have no idea what the right thing to say right now is, but I have a huge desire to apologise. “I’m so sorr—”
“Don’t, Lucas. None of that was your fault. You got lucky after a fuck load of bad luck. You don’t need to apologise,” he says, surprising the shit out of me.
“But I abandoned you,” I say in shock.
“Yeah, and I was utterly devastated, but I got over it. Being devastated made me weak, and I don’t need to explain to you what that meant.” No, he doesn’t need to explain. I know all too well.
“Grab a chair, Luc,” Lilly says, still looking between the two of us as if we’re aliens. I’m not sure if it’s the similarity between us or the fact Marcus hasn’t tried to kill me yet for what I did to him.
Reluctantly, I ask the question that I’m not sure I want the answer to. “What happened to her?”
“Dead,” Marcus says coldly. “Overdose a few years back. She lasted longer than I ever thought she would.” I can’t help but agree with him. If she kept up the life she had while I was there, I’d have put money on her dying much younger. “And him?”
“Left for a new bottle of vodka one morning and never reappeared. No idea if he’s alive or dead, but at least he’s gone.” I hate the feelings that talking about those two wastes of space drag up in me, so I quickly change the subject.
“So, what are you up to now?”
I forget all about work and spend t
he next few hours sat chatting to someone I never thought I’d get the chance to see ever again. It’s the oddest feeling, because we chat like fifteen years haven’t passed by. Marcus tells me all about his business and I feel so much pride for what he’s achieved despite everything that I’m worried my chest is going to explode.
“I can’t believe you did that, Lilly,” I say the second we both walk through the front door later that day. “I never thought I’d see him again,” I admit.
“I looked for him after you told me about your past. I didn’t honestly think I would find him or that he’s still be local, but after a couple of wrong hits I found him. I can’t imagine not being close to Dec, so I thought it was worth a shot. I could tell how much he meant to you as a child and how much leaving him must have hurt you.”
“You’re incredible,” I say as I grab her wrist and pull her to me for a kiss.
I slide my tongue against hers as I try to show her what she means to me. I kiss her until we are both panting for breath. Eventually, I pull back and run kisses along her jaw and down her neck.
“Luc,” she moans when I suck on the sensitive skin behind her ear.
“Bedroom,” I whisper back. Once upon a time I would have had her right here up against the wall, but she needs a little more comfort these days. I’m seriously looking forward to when I’m able to do that again though.
“I need to eat first,” she admits and I can’t help but smile at her.
I grab her hand and lead her in a different direction than I was picturing a few seconds ago.
“Okay, we’re good to go now,” Lilly announces an hour later once she’s eaten a sandwich.
“Ah, you’re so romantic,” I comment with a laugh. She just shrugs at me.
I grab both of her hands and pull her up from the chair. “Have I told you how beautiful you look?” She shakes her head with a shy smile on her lips. “So beautiful. I love this look on you,” I say as I run my hands over her belly. There’s a sudden bump against the palm of my hand and I don’t think I could smile any wider if I tried, knowing that was one of my babies.
Lilly (Angel Series Book 3) Page 23