by Sadie Grubor
He laughed loudly.
"Oh Loreley, you were completely prepared to sleep with him before, now you're cringing at the thought of being pregnant with his child. Well, hopefully you’re pregnant and you don’t fail again." His tone changed to condescending. "You have been such a disappointment lately." He snorted.
"Though, it was entertaining to watch Hillary extract the necessary component from Aidan." He chuckled. "She, unlike my daughter, is very anxious to please."
He smiled. Nausea crept from the pit of my stomach, lodging at the base of my throat. I didn't know if I could swallow the lump. My vision doubled.
The doctor motioned to Karl. He gripped my arm, holding it out for him. I didn’t even bother fighting. They took the vials of blood and left me sobbing on my bedroom floor.
When I woke on the cold floor, my mind began reeling. I had to get out, to get away and hide. Knowing if I gave birth under this roof, my father would take the baby and simply dispose of me if I didn’t go along with his plan. How am I going to get away?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Six months of imprisonment passed. I tried my best to be on ‘good behavior’, hoping it would allot me some freedom. During those six months, I thought about what had led to my being locked away.
After Lilli stood up to her family, for me, for our friendship, I understood what it felt like to be accepted for who I am. Of course, at first, I'd bad intentions and was pretending, but soon I couldn’t help but be infatuated with Lilli. She is so compassionate. And when I began helping her at the shelters, I felt a shift inside of me. It wasn’t a welcome change for me, but I had no choice but to succumb. I knew I couldn’t hurt Lilli. I cared for her. Even though we were about the same age, she is the mother or female figure I'd never had in my life. Her interaction with her children and other children only made those feelings embed themselves into my soul, a soul I swore was lost many years ago.
Confronting my father, telling him I would not go along with his plan and would not sleep with Aidan and destroy their marriage, effective destroying Lilli, had not gone over well. He was furious and told me to stop being absurd. When I told him that I was done and turned to leave, he grabbed my arms and threw me to the floor.
"You are disgusting, just like your weak pathetic mother! She couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t handle anything. Hell she didn’t even care enough about you to follow orders. Instead she goes and kills herself! Absolutely pathetic!" He sneered.
"Mother killed herself?" I choked on this new information. A whirlwind filled my head, confusion and despair began to fill it.
He smirked at me.
"Of course she did. I suppose she did me a favor." He shrugged and I felt sick. "It got her out of the way and allowed me to raise your properly." Then he looked at me in disgust "How disappointing that you turned out just like her, even with her not around."
He sighed heavily.
"Get out of my sight! You are no longer my daughter! I will not have a disrespectful, uncooperative, and weak child!" He pushed a button on his desk that I was all too familiar with. Karl entered and removed me from the room.
"You're a sick bastard!" I screamed as Karl drug me out of the room.
"Goodbye Loreley." My father said. Without any emotion he watched me dragged from the room.
That was the night I had nowhere to go. Afraid to go to my apartment, fearing my father's wrath, I ended up on Lilli’s doorstep, eyes swollen and red. She had tried to get me to talk with her, but I couldn’t. If she knew what I'd been a part of, she would’ve hated me and she was all I had. Instead of pressing it, she offered me a place to stay. She completely amazed me with her compassion.
I was surprised at how things went when I did return to my apartment. I was sure my father would cut everything off and have me locked out, but he didn’t. So, I tried to quickly find a new place to live, withdrew as much money as I could from the bank and kept the cash around.
There were a couple of places in California I wanted to look at, as well as a college where I could finish my degree. Unfortunately, I didn’t work fast enough. Before I could move on with my life, father dragged me back in, this time unconsciously. "I needed a healthy warm body" he had said to me in the limo.
My good behavior paid off at six and a half months pregnant. I was allowed to walk around the grounds of the house. I didn’t push it at first. I may no longer be my father’s willing puppet, but he had taught me well. I observed and devised my plan.
Seven months pregnant, I suggested being allowed to go shopping for the baby. My father was reluctant, but allowed it, as long as Karl and Rashand were nearby. Given the fact my father rarely thought of the opposite sex, unless he needed a young girl to fuck him for a night or he needed to use someone like me, I assumed a dressing room would be my best opportunity.
While we were out, I purchased multiple baby items with my father’s money. I purchased an entire baby suite of furniture; crib, dresser, armoire, changing table, rocking chair, etc. Then I picked out bedding, blankets, sheets, stuffed animals, etc.
Then I walked into a maternity boutique and picked out some clothes. Karl tried to follow, but the attendant quickly stopped him.
"Sir, you can’t go back there." She put her hand on his chest.
I felt Karl eye me intently as I headed into the changing room, but I didn’t look back. I was sure he wouldn't physically restrain me in public.
Having grabbed about twenty different items, I hung them all on the hook behind the door. However, the only clothes that mattered were the two pairs of maternity jeans and the maternity cotton pants, along with the three cotton shirts. I slid the one pair of jeans on and one of the shirts; grabbing the other four items and stuffing them into my oversized purse.
Once I dressed, it took a few moments for me to clear my head and get the courage to do what came next. After a couple of deep breaths, as I held my stomach and clutched my purse, I squared my shoulders and peeked out from behind the curtain. Karl stood with his back to the dressing room, so I moved quickly to the other side, where I wouldn’t be visible. Then I saw what I hoped was there, the emergency exit. I ran through the door and never looked back.
Reaching my apartment, the doorman gave me the spare key after feeding him a story about losing my purse. I knew I was shaking, and he was eyeing me strangely. Grabbing the key quickly, I rushed the elevator and into my apartment.
Knowing there wasn’t much time, I grabbed a backpack and one large luggage bag. I threw clothes including the new ones, fake identification credentials (being Gideon’s daughter had some perks), and other items into my bag. Then grabbing my laptop, I put it in my back pack. Lastly, I grabbed the seventy five thousand dollars I had slowly accumulated in cash. Luckily, I still had my father’s credit cards in my purse as well. With one quick call to two different Taxi services, I took a deep breath and a quick look around my apartment before making my escape.
I knew this would be dangerous, but I also knew the elevator and stairs were possibly being watched at this very moment, my father moved fast. Climbing through the window at the end of my hallway, I climbed down the fire escape to the street. When my feet hit the ground, passer-byers stared at me curiously. But these strangers were the least of my worries.
The one taxi listened and parked in the alley to wait for me. I slid in quickly, telling him to take me to the airport. When we pulled up, I threw three hundred dollars into the front seat and rushed through the glass doors of the airport.
Inside the airport, I went to a ticket machine, skipping the customer service people. Purchasing four tickets on my father’s credit card, one to Paris, one to Italy, one to England, and another to Canada, I threw them in the garbage next to me. Finally, I purchased one ticket to Spain in cash at the service desk using my fake credentials. It was the only flight leaving in thirty minutes, so that was the flight I was taking. From Spain, I would catch a flight to my final destination.
Getting through security was simple. It seemed they didn
’t want to hassle the pregnant woman too much. I didn’t start to settle until the plane lifted off of the ground. After I lay back and slept.
Once in Spain, I made transportation arrangements to travel by boat to Italy. From Italy I was flying to Germany. The whole thing was going perfect, better than I hoped. That was true until I reached Italy. Quickly, I realized the mistake when I saw my Uncle Calvin and his men in the airport. Internally cursing myself, I maneuvered as best as I could.
Finding a restroom, I hid in there for thirty minutes while I dug for a new set of credentials. Once I was all set, I pulled on a hooded sweatshirt and sunglasses. I knew it wasn’t the best disguise, but it was all I had and I had gotten too far to just give up.
I made it to the service desk and got my ticket to Germany. The biggest issue was that I had two hours before the flight, so I had to hide and avoid. Quickly I retreated to the same bathroom that I had already been in. My nerves were on edge with every person that I heard enter the restroom.
Eventually I had to move, so I left the bathroom. I almost came face to face with one of my uncle’s associates so I wrapped my arm in a strange man’s and began smiling up at him with a small quiet laugh. Hoping that seeing me as a part of a couple would cause them to skip passed me. It worked and I let go of the strange man that looked at me as if I were crazy. Two women’s restrooms and one men’s room became my hideouts for an hour.
When I got back through security I knew I would have fewer options for hiding, but I settled on an airport bar. Sitting in the far back, behind a group of business men I was able to keep hidden. I quickly ordered a sandwich and chips because I was starting to feel sick. Finishing only half of my food, they called my flight. At first I hesitated and then at the last minute I rushed to board the flight. The moment we were in the air I felt more at ease. I relaxed enough to sleep the flight.
In Germany, I knew who I was looking for, but I didn’t know where. Pulling out my laptop in a small airport coffee shop, I connected. After searching around on the internet I found a couple of people who fit, so I would have to go around and try to figure out which was the correct person.
Walking up the second cobble stone pathway, toward a large stone house, my nerves almost made me throw up on the spot. I got to the door and knocked. Unable to stop fidgeting, I tried calming deep breaths. The door opened and I looked into a vaguely familiar face.
"Oh my!" The elderly woman exclaimed and put her hand on her heart. "L-Loreley?"
I nodded. Tears filled her eyes and she reached for me, pulling me into a large hug. I knew that I was stiff in her arms, but I still wasn’t sure who she was and even though I searched them out I was a nervous wreck.
"You know who I am?" I barely whispered.
"Of course I do. You are the spitting image of your mother, my sister." She smiled warmly at me and pulled me into the house. "Are you well?" She studied me intently and her eyes shifting to my round stomach.
I broke down into sobs. She cradled me into her arms and walked me to a large sofa in front of a large fire. I cried until I fell asleep in her arms. After waking, I told her everything.
She was crying freely. "I knew that cold bastard was the reason she did it."
"Y-you knew that she killed herself?" I looked at her confused.
"Yes, dear." She sighed. "We all knew, and we were sure that your father had something to do with it, but we could never prove that he drove her to it." She pulled me into another hug. "I am so sorry that he has manipulated you for so long."
"I chose to live that life." I shrugged and sniffed.
"No, dear." I looked up to her. "You were raised and brainwashed into that life. He did it to your mother and when she couldn’t take it anymore he drove her to kill herself." She went on to tell me of my mother. How independent she had been until my father got his claws in her.
At first he was sweet and kind, but after they married he forced her to do things that she wouldn’t tell anyone about. Except one night, when she was pregnant she arrived at my Aunt Beth’s house. He wanted her to seduce a man for him, whatever it took. She was appalled that he wanted his pregnant wife to sleep with another man.
When he finally convinced my mother to return to him, he hit her and emotionally attacked her, she lost the baby. Eventually, she became pregnant again, with me, but his attacks and requests never deterred. She complied out of fear, until she couldn’t take any more. That’s when she tried to leave him. She tried to take me, but he prevented it. My mother got away, but he followed her, never giving up. Eventually she realized the only way that she would be free was death. So she killed herself.
I cried myself to sleep that night, thinking over everything that my aunt had told me.
Luckily there was a midwife in the small village and I was able to give birth in my aunt’s home, without going anywhere near a hospital. I had also been lucky that there were no complications with me or with my son. He was beautiful and my heart broke at the thought of my father finding me with him. I knew that he would take him from me and manipulate him as he had done with me. So my tears were of joy, but also fear, fear for my son, Cole.
Once he was three months old, I knew that I needed to move on. My father would still be looking for us. I was surer now, after my aunt’s story of my mother. At three months old my son had auburn hair, which I was sure was an Iverson trait, and my blue eyes. His hair was not the exact color of Lilli’s children, but I could see the Iverson features appearing on his face as he grew. However, my features remained quite dominant themselves, my nose and face shape.
We traveled to Switzerland and Norway, spending a month in each place. Then we moved on to Japan. In such a mass population in Japan, I knew that I could probably hide really well. We lived here for two months.
It was at the end of this time that I decided that I would write to Lilli. I needed her to know everything and to understand what happened, even if she hated me for it, she would know that Aidan was not to blame. So, I wrote the letter. Telling her about how I had fallen into my father’s lifestyle and how I had originally gone along with my father’s plan. Then I wanted her to know how much she meant to me and how she helped me to see that I could be a better person, m than my father ever allowed me to think.
I wanted her to know everything, about my father, my mother, and about my son. After apologizing profusely for all of the pain and heartache that I had brought to her, I promised to never bother her again. In the end, only Lilli knew me better than anyone ever had. To keep from being tracked, I mailed the sealed letter to my aunt and asked her to forward the letter from Germany for me as I traveled to a new location.
I also decided to arrange for some things to be sent out to Liam and to their family lawyer, to make sure my father couldn’t get his hands on their family company. My future goal was to collect criminal evidence against my father and expose him. I knew that it was a long shot, especially with me running every month. However, I wanted for him to be locked away for the rest of his life. Though, deep down, I knew that Cole and I would still not be safe.
Before leaving Japan I cut my hair extremely short and died it red this time. I purchased some green contact lenses and had fake nails put on. This time we were moving on to Morocco. It was the layover that changed our route to Iceland.
W once again ran into my father's accomplices. I caught sight of Marcus instructing three men and one woman. I froze and held Cole to me tightly. Standing back and getting lost in a crowd of college students I watched as they examined women with children. I noticed that they were paying closer attention to female travelers with babies.
Quickly I moved into the closest restroom and put Cole into the baby sling that I had, pulling an oversized sweatshirt over my head and over him. Thankfully he was sleeping right now and the sling usually helped him to sleep when he wasn't. I slipped on a baseball cap and walked out of the men's room.
I was almost sprinting to the service desk where I quickly made new travel arrangements to Iceland,
under a different name. Iceland was getting ready to board, so I knew that if I could get on the plane I was good to go. Once I had my ticket in my hand I could feel Cole stir.
"Shit" I groaned quietly and started to walk with mounting speed toward my gate.
"Loreley!" I heard a man scream my name, but I held strong and didn’t even flinch. I was not Loreley. I was Caroline Hayes. However, I did increase my pace. "LORELEY STOP!" The voice was closer and I grabbed Cole tightly to my chest, sprinting to security.
The security guards at the check in point were eyeing me closely. One grabbed my arm.
"Miss, what’s under the shirt?" He narrowed his eyes at me.
I took a deep breath and thought fast.
"Baby," I whispered. "Breastfeeding." I shrugged. "I don’t like to make it a public thing."
The guard let go of my arm. "Um…oh…"
I lifted the sweatshirt slightly so that they could see the bottom half of Cole and then acted as if I was going to completely uncover him.
"That’s okay miss." He ushered me along and I rushed to the shuttle that would take me to my gate.
Panting I sat in my seat on the plane. Cole was fussing, so I took him out and gave him a bottle that I had in my back pack. It was during this flight that my newest course of action began to fester in my thoughts.
I would never escape my father, not while he was alive. There was no way that I could get close enough to kill him myself, and the thought of putting Cole in danger with close proximity to my father tore my heart apart. That’s when the seed of a memory started to fester, ‘she realized the only way that she would be free was death’. My mother had to kill herself to escape him.
Once we settled in Iceland, the seed had sprouted into theory and then into a full blown plot. The thought of not having my son in my life was breaking my heart, but knowing that I had to do whatever I could to keep him safe over-rode that pain. If I had to sacrifice myself, then that is what I would have to do.