by Liv Rancourt
Hitching my thigh over his forearm, he ran light fingertips over my lower lips, setting off a whirlpool of shivers. I sucked on his tongue, driving my hips up, forcing his fingers inside. He took the hint and teased me, moving in and out, going deeper each time. With something close to a sob I brushed his hand aside and reached for his cock, aiming it where I needed it to be.
Groaning against my mouth, he plunged in, taking me in one strong thrust. I arched into him, jaw quivering against the burn. Yeah, it hurt, but in the best possible way, and I flashed on Krista in the bar, reminding me how good it could be.
Randy took off, rocking me, rocking the dresser, rocking the world. Every thrust radiated strength, and instead of tomboyish, I felt powerful and feminine. I might have had sex before, but this was the first time I felt like a woman doing it.
And it was so good.
All musicians can keep a beat, and there was definitely some motion in Randy’s ocean. Pretty soon he’d doubled the pace of the waves outside, and a glorious heat started spinning from deep inside me, deeper than any man had ever reached. He gripped my neck, driving the movements of my hips with his other hand. One of us whimpered.
It was me.
He tipped his head, sweat glistening at his temples. “You’re unbelievable.” His words were barely more than a gasp. “You really are.”
Before I could answer him, the heat grabbed me and all I could think about was faster and harder and more. On a breath, the bottom dropped out and I tumbled over a waterfall of excruciating pleasure. He slowed his pace, laughing, and asked if I was okay.
“Your turn,” I said, clinging to his shoulders to keep myself upright. He reached for my other thigh, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, hitching my butt further up on the dresser.
Resting his forehead against mine, he really started to rock. His climax was so intense it all but brought me there again.
This was what I’d been missing: the sharing, the giving. We staggered over to the bunk and curled around each other, and somehow the peace in his breath against my skin made me feel like we’d been doing more than screwing a stranger. We might not quite be making love, but it was close. A deep happiness—tinged with relief—sent me drifting off to sleep.
The bunk was only wide enough for one, though, and the mattress could have doubled as a yoga mat. After a while I struggled out of the warm snuggly bed and gathered my things. Randy mumbled something at me, and I told him I was going to my own cabin. He didn’t try to make me stay.
Chapter 14
Just about the time I fell asleep in my own cabin, Krista showed up. It took a solid twenty minutes for me to get more than “Tommy” and off-bombs out of her. I might even have seen a tear. Or two.
Go figure.
“What are you even doing here, anyway?” Krista had reached the pissing and grumbling stage, which I knew from experience would be followed by a flurry of texts, then sleep. She tossed herself dramatically across her bunk, phone in hand as if to verify my claim in real time.
“I just got here a little while ago.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what I’d done. I wanted to keep the beautiful memory shrouded in privacy. I mashed on my woefully understaffed pillow for a second and snuggled in. The past hurt. The future scared me.
The right now was too gorgeous for words.
I drifted off before Krista pulled far enough out of her internal vortex to ask any questions about my night.
The next morning I gave myself a break from the dress-up games and wore a pair of cotton shorts, a simple crew-neck shirt, and a pair of sturdy walking sandals, the kind with Velcro straps and a layered sole. Krista would have had a cow if she’d seen me, but she was asleep when I headed out for breakfast, so too bad for her.
I scuffed along the pathway of broken shells and gravel, headed for the lodge. Randy stood on the beach smoking a cigarette.
Breakfast could wait.
I jogged over to him, smiling like a middle-school girl. I had my hands on him before he even turned around, and went up on tiptoe to give him a big ol’ morning smooch.
He tipped his head at the last second and I bussed his cheek.
“Morning,” I said, though his reserved expression damped my smile.
“Hi.”
His tone was flat, off. “What’s up?” I asked.
“Nothing.” Moving slowly, like something hurt, he shifted toward the ocean. “Just … nothing.”
One of my hands fluttered like a bird who didn’t quite know where to land. “I was …” I squelched a sudden sob. “Just headed in to breakfast.”
“Sure. Sounds good.” He took my hand, just like he would have before. He walked with me to the lodge, just like he would have before. He even nuzzled my ear and murmured something not quite intelligible. When others could see. His behavior was the same, but his energy was utterly, completely different.
The dining room was crowded and we grabbed a couple of seats at one of the big tables on the perimeter. Right after we sat, Pregnant Sue and Jessica Freeman claimed the last two open chairs. They shared smiles with several of our table-mates, a cross-section of teachers from different ages and genders and fashion orientations. People made innocuous conversation, and Randy sat silent, and I let my eggs get cold.
“Are there many sessions you want to see today?” he finally asked.
“A few.”
He swallowed some coffee and gave me a crooked smile. “I’ve got to go to my cabin for a minute. Let’s connect at lunch, okay?”
“’Kay.” Probably take me that long to get all the hurt cried out of my system. He pressed a kiss on the top of my head on this way to standing and before I could respond, he strode out of the room.
I kept a placid smile in place, though it cut my heart out to do it. See, getting stood up at the altar had taught me a thing or two about handling rejection. I had no idea what had twisted Randy all sideways, but I’d be damned if I let him make me look bad in front of my colleagues.
I was still shoving eggs around when Jessica started talking.
“So did you and Randy start”—she tapped her fork on one side of her plate, and then the other, making a meaningless gesture feel dirty—“seeing each other, I mean, before this weekend?”
I straightened my shoulders and stared her down the way I would an annoying helicopter parent. “Before.”
“Oh good.” She covered her heart with her hand. “Because you know how guys like him are.”
I lowered my fork with as much care as I could muster, a safer choice than stabbing her in the eyes.
“I mean, I’m sure he’s changed.” Her smile had so much slime in it I half started looking for tadpoles.
“He’s a nice guy,” I said, willing this conversation to end before the tears flooding my heart leaked out all over the table.
“Oh, very nice. Very, very nice.” Two-handed pat-down for emphasis. “It’s just, well, he might have hooked up with someone at this event before.” Her prom queen glow said she enjoyed eviscerating me. “But I’m pretty sure he didn’t even ask for her phone number afterwards.”
Placid smile. Placid smile. Placid smile. Placid, placid, placid. Don’t freak out.
She and Pregnant Sue cleared their dishes away and sailed across the room. I exhaled and caught the eye of the woman sitting next to me. “The food’s been pretty good this weekend, don’t you think?”
She agreed, and I stuffed a forkful of pretty good eggs in my mouth and managed not to spew across the table. One voice in my head was calling her a liar, since Randy’d never been to this retreat before.
Another voice kept pointing out that so far he hadn’t asked for my phone number, either.
Chapter 15
“We’re still going to see the band tonight, right?” Krista asked. She and I were in the lobby near the big stone fireplace. Randy stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders, leaning against the paneled wall.
“I think we should,” he said. He lifted my hair and blew on the
secret spot behind my ear. He was acting normal—or what passed for normal in the forty-eight hours since we’d met.
One of the other teachers heard us talking about the band, and pretty soon everyone around thought they might join us. Including Jessica Freeman’s new chinless appendage, Kirk.
I almost vetoed the whole project, but Krista argued J-Bone would protect us and Randy pointed out most everyone was going straight home after the conference ended, so their talk about seeing the band was just talk.
My sense of humor would have been sturdier if Randy hadn’t taken his little trip through crazy. Even though he’d spent the afternoon at my side, a solid, affectionate presence, I couldn’t shake the sense of distance he’d created on the beach. Ever since Creighton left me standing alone in my one-of-a-kind Alençon lace dress, I’d been more inclined to be the one to dash first.
Everyone attended the last session, and afterward people were still buzzing about the band in Langley. Fantastic. Krista had more to pack than I did, so after loading my gear into the CRV I went for a walk on the beach. Barefoot, because at Krista’s insistence, I’d put on the little stretchy black thing she’d picked out for me at Target. The dress left very little to the imagination, and of course I had to borrow her chunky black heels.
When I got back, still carrying the heels, Randy waited on the front porch of my cabin. I slowed my pace, feeling like a marionette, all twitchy motions and jangling limbs. My fight-or-flight reflex engaged. He hadn’t asked for my phone number, he’d pushed me away, this was all just a damned act.
Run!
The late-day sun warmed my shoulders, and he squinted as I got closer. “I told Krista I’d give you a ride,” he said, “so she took off in your car.”
“Yeah, she had my keys.” My voice sounded tight, as if pieces of it might flake away like the silvery scales of a fish. “I’ll just turn in the cabin key and we can go.”
Randy followed me to the lodge. I tossed my key into a basket on the check-in table and bumped into him when I turned around. He smelled good, soap and woodsy cologne layered over the persistent scent of cigarette smoke. I couldn’t meet his eyes.
He brushed a stray hair off my forehead. For once I didn’t have my hair in a ponytail or a knot. It hung long to my shoulders, with a thin black band holding my bangs out of my face. “You look amazing. Everything okay?”
“Sure.” I smiled at his right ear and slid into the heels.
He nodded and, taking my hand, led me out of the cabin towards the parking lot. I couldn’t help notice how well his black T-shirt fit. Almost as nice as his faded jeans, and I about swallowed my tongue when he went to the driver’s door of a cherry red Chevy Malibu.
“What year is this thing?” Climbing into the passenger seat of such a cool car was almost spiritual.
“1970.” He gunned the engine like it was a rocket and we were ready to launch.
It was going to be a long night.
Langley was about halfway between the lodge and the ferry dock. One of the bigger small towns on Whidbey Island, it had a reputation for welcoming tourists. The locals were an eclectic mix, ranging from yuppies who commuted to jobs in Seattle to subsistence-farming hippies who supplied the weekend market and craft fair. I’d never been there before, and never expected my first trip there would be in a cherry red Malibu with a Ginger God at the wheel.
We drove through the forest with the windows open, both because of the heat and so Randy could smoke. His damp hair still showed comb marks and he’d trimmed his beard a little, enough to take the roughest edges off. I stared out the window, shooting occasional glances at him like BBs from a gun, quick darts to keep from giving anything away.
He took one last drag off his cigarette and dropped the butt into an empty soda can. It sizzled, suggesting the can wasn’t entirely empty. “Only two more.”
“Two?”
“I’m allowed five a day.”
Self-righteousness gave me the confidence to examine his profile. “So you’ll get lung cancer more slowly.”
“Something like that.” His grin flipped something south of my navel. “I don’t drink because I can’t, and I smoke because I can.”
And I don’t want this to end, because you’re one of the coolest men I’ve ever met. We cleared the woods and headed through the rural equivalent of a subdivision, low ranch houses scattered along the road, reachable by long straight driveways.
I leaned into the channel-back vinyl seat, trying to figure out a way to tell him I’d be okay if he wanted to drop the act so we could just hang out like friends. Or, to be accurate, new acquaintances. I’d gotten laid, after all, and Kirk had moved on to a more interested woman.
Mission accomplished.
Instead I kept my mouth shut, tossing BB glances at him and feeling like an idiot.
He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, which totally distracted me. The sun was low enough that the cars coming toward us along the two-lane road had their headlights on. Letting go of my hand, he flipped up the visor and caught me in his side-eye. “I had fun last night.”
His comment got my attention like a sharp yank on my collar. “Me too.” My voice was pitifully weak, and for just a second, I hoped the whole bar would be full of music teachers so maybe I could avoid him.
As if avoiding him would fix anything.
He started to say something. Stopped. Started. Stopped. Finally brought my hand to his lips for a kiss, accompanied by a self-conscious laugh.
We rode in silence until reaching one of the rare traffic lights, where we stopped to make the turn to Langley. It would have been the perfect time to ask what had happened this morning, or if he intended to call me after tomorrow, or if I should just hold onto my memories and wait for my Academy Award.
My phone chirped, saving me from doing anything difficult. Krista texted me directions to the pub. I almost managed to relay the information without sounding like a total dork.
Chapter 16
A crowd of locals filled most of the club’s seats, but Krista had snagged us a table. The Blues Revivalists had already started playing their brand of rowdy blues rock. J-Bone was MIA, which didn’t surprise me. Didn’t seem to surprise Krista, either, or even bother her too much. She divided her attention between pouring beer from our pitcher and grinning at a guy with dreadlocks at a table to our right.
The pub’s walls were covered with posters advertising upcoming shows, and a flat-screen TV over the bar showed a preseason Seahawks game. I couldn’t relax, despite the party atmosphere. Randy talked to Krista, which covered the uptight silence rolling off me. When the band took a break, one of the guitar players came over. Randy greeted him with an awkward back-thumping guy hug. After a round of introductions, Mike grabbed a chair and pulled it close, leaning across me so he could talk to Randy.
“You got your horn, man? Wanna sit in?” Mike asked, checking me out like he wanted to find a place to bite. Randy draped an arm across my shoulders, pulling me close and marking his territory, and since my dress would have worked in an anatomy class, I didn’t mind at all.
“No horn,” Randy said, his rough voice right by my ear. The skin on my neck prickled, excitement amplified by nerves.
Mike crossed his arms, showing off the classic anchor he had tattooed on one forearm, like Popeye but dirtier. “Keys, then. We can boot Sanders off for a couple of tunes.”
“Okay if I play a couple?” Randy asked me.
“Sure.”
Giving my shoulders a squeeze, he followed Mike to the stage. I watched him go, admiring the view from behind, then turned to get a face full of pissed-off Krista.
“What’s wrong with you?” Her hissing whisper cut through the hubbub of the crowd around us. “Until Mike showed up, you were sitting there like you had a rod up your ass. Did Randy do something to piss you off?”
“No. I don’t know.” I did my best to pull it together. “What if he’s acting?”
“Oh shit. He’s so not.” Krista’s l
augh dumped a bucket of reality over my internal drama-fest. “If you could have seen the look on his face when Mike sat down and started checking you out … he’s not acting,” she said. “Definitely not.”
“Then why hasn’t he asked for my phone number?” I hugged myself and glanced at the stage. From behind the keyboard, Randy made snarky comments to the drummer. He acted more comfortable on stage than any place else I’d seen him. Mike the biker made a lame joke, the bass player ran a scale, and the drummer counted off a tune. I couldn’t see Randy’s hands on the keys, but the set of his shoulders and the passion in his eyes reminded me of Creighton, the one who’d left me hamstrung by memories.
Those memories were nothing compared with the emotional whirlwind created by the guy on stage.
The band’s opening chords were timed with J-Bone’s arrival. Krista reeled him in and gave him a peck on the cheek, her semi-satisfied smirk a subtle indicator of her happiness. He’d brought a friend, too, Micky or Nicky or something. They were pretty much a matched set of 24-Hour Fitness beefcake, and I smiled politely and tried to ignore the fact they both seemed to think we were on a double date.
In the middle of the next song, Krista threw a balled-up napkin at me and gestured at the stage. “He’s really, really good,” she said.
“Right?”
Randy took the band to another level, his rolling left hand giving them extra swing. His first solo threw down a challenge the rest of them tried to meet, and his chops had me lubricated in ways I’d never imagined. The band blazed through three songs before Randy shook hands all around.
And he walked off stage and out of the bar without sparing me a glance.
Surprise and confusion held me in my seat.
“Where’s he going?” Krista unwrapped herself from J-Bone long enough to give me a WTF shrug.
I mirrored her, eyebrows raised, palms up. “Don’t know.”
“Follow him.”
I propped my elbows on the table and dropped my head into my hands. Seriously? Why the drama? Micky-Nicky put his beefy hand on the bare skin between my shoulder blades. “Wassup?”