by Michelle Day
“I know, I wanted so badly to tell you when I realised I had actual feelings for her but it’s so difficult to tell your parent that you are banging your school teacher, are madly in love with her oh, and have possibly got her pregnant.” He sighed “Where do we go from here?” He asked.
“From now on, you need to tell me everything and it needs to be the complete truth. I’m so angry with you right now, you know you can trust me but you chose to keep it to yourself, I am very disappointed in you.”
“I’m sorry, I promise, I will tell you everything from now on. I love you Mum.”
“You break my heart, do you know that?” She responded unable to stop the tears gathering on her lashes “I love you so much and yet around every corner there is some problem or other waiting for you, you used to come to me.”
“I’m growing up,” he reached for her hand “I know I can’t make this right Mum but I can make it better for you and Carmen, I just need time.”
“You are going to be a good father to this child whether you want to or not.” She told him. “You do know there’s no future in this relationship of yours?”
“Don’t say that, it feels right when I am with her, it’s everyone else’s reaction to it that makes it seem sordid and dirty.”
“It is sordid and dirty, there are no two ways about it. Paul, you will have to behave yourself when you come home, you will have to obey the rules that will be set out for you.”
Paul sighed “I know,” he looked down at his hands “I’d better go and pack.”
She watched him walk away, his head bowed but his back was straight, his shoulders squared. She admired him for facing his responsibilities; she just wished that trouble and problems weren’t his permanent companions. He was such a loving soul, kind and thoughtful, his anniversary gift bore testament to his thoughtfulness. She shook her head, she had firmly put herself between her son and her husband, a place she didn’t want to be but the son needed protection from the father and from his own quick temper which would flare at the slightest provocation from Michael.
Chapter Fourteen
The atmosphere in the Jensen house could be cut with a knife. Tessa had up until now, denied all knowledge of her fathers’ treatment of her brothers’ and Michael’s attack on Paul had chilled her to the bone. Admitting that although Paul had provoked the reaction, the fact that Michael had continue to beat him once he was unconscious made her feel sick every time she thought about it. She had never seen her father quite so angry and focussed and Paul had been defenceless, her sympathy and understanding were now on the side of her brother.
While Paul unpacked his bags and reacquainted himself with his siblings, Monica and Michael discussed what they should do with their wayward son and built their own bridges towards forgiveness and understanding.
Sitting opposite each other on their beds, Matt and Paul listened to the raised voices coming from the study. Paul jumped when their bedroom door opened, relaxing at the sight of his sister. Tessa sat on the bed next to Matt, leaning her back against his muscled bicep as she lit three cigarettes, passing her brothers’ one each.
“You’ve really done it this time.” She said, glancing sideways at Paul.
“Yeah I know. I’m sorry guys, I realise that you are going to get some of the backlash.” He replied.
“What are you going to do?” She asked.
“I think that’s being decided for me.” He inclined his head towards the voices of his parents.
“I can’t believe you will go along with everything they decide.” She scoffed.
“I probably won’t in the long run, there’s only so much time they can dedicate to watching me and as far as they are aware, I work all day and that gives me plenty of opportunity to make my own plans.”
“You aren’t even going to try are you?” Tessa accused.
“Of course I am, if I’m going to get Mum’s help, I have to but they have to realise that just because they say something, doesn’t make it so. I have things I need to discuss with Carmen and there’s the purchase of a house which is going to happen whether they like it or not. What it all boils down to is I got my girlfriend knocked up, in reality, it wouldn’t matter if she were my age or not, they would still have reacted the same and so would I , I’m going to take care of Carmen and the baby, they can’t prevent that no matter how much they try.”
“I have to admire you for taking reasonability.” She conceded.
“I can’t just walk away from this Tessa, you know me well enough to know that.”
“I think you’re stupid” Matt blurted.
“Thanks Matt,” the sarcasm was thick in Paul’s voice
“Face it Paul, you’ve ruined your life, you are sixteen and you’re thinking about raising a kid, seriously stupid. If I was you, I’d insist she got rid of it, cut all ties with her and get a life.”
“You aren’t me. We discussed our options, adoption isn’t one of them and neither of us could come up with any real reason to get rid of it and I haven’t ruined my life. I’ll admit that this is a setback in the grand scheme of things but my life is in no way ruined and I will make sure that my child has a good life too just you wait and see.”
The house phone stopped their conversation as Tessa bolted into the hall, returning and telling Paul the call was for him. The resulting conversation couldn’t have come at a better time for him; he was smiling and already forming plans in his head when he hung up from speaking to the local council. He had completely forgotten submitting the quote for re-designing areas of the local park over the winter in preparation for it re-opening in the spring; it was a massive undertaking and one that would keep his work force busy over the winter months and make him an awful lot of money along the way.
Upon his summons to the study, Paul studiously kept his gaze from meeting Michael’s for fear of what might be misconstrued in his own eyes. He sat and listened to the rules laid out to him with which he was expected to comply without protest or complaint.
Having owned up to the purchase of another phone, this was the first thing that was taken from him although he was told he would be allowed to speak to Carmen but only in the presence of one or both parents. He would not be permitted to socialise for the foreseeable future either after work or at weekends, he was expected to fill this time helping around the house and learning aspects of Michael’s business, further restrictions were placed on the amount of time he would be permitted to watch television or listen to or practise music. They recognised that he was now a young man and did concede to one outing a month for him in which he would be allowed to see his friends but there would be a strict curfew to be adhered too.
Michael and Monica had decided that he should no longer pay rent, that money would be put into a high interest savings account and he was expected to honour his commitment to the child by adding to the account each month, the account would be held in Michael’s name, the money would be returned to Paul for him to pass onto his child upon reaching the age of twenty one provided Paul hadn’t sired any further children outside of marriage. If however, more children were born, the money would be split equally between them.
Paul felt he had little option but to agree to the terms, he did however, ask to put on hold joining Michael even part time at Jensen’s, all Michael’s protests were put on hold when Paul explained about the prestigious job he had won for the local council, pointing out that the park was within walking distance from home and therefore they would easily be able to check up on him. He also asked to be allowed to go to the gym three times a week under the guise of working out, he had made a lot of friends at the gym and the time spent there would kill two birds with one stone. After a brief discussion, he was given permission for this but informed that he should go straight from work on the agreed nights and under no circumstances was he allowed to be out after seven o’clock.
Within a few weeks, Paul found that playing by the rules made life at home surprisingly pleasant, not that he had much time to
dwell on it, the work in the park was extensive and exhausting and, given the current horrendous weather conditions, extremely messy. Monica refused to let him in the house wearing his work clothes, insisting that he strip down to his boxer shorts and put his soiled clothes into the washing machine before being allowed upstairs to shower. Shivering from the icy air in the unheated utility room, he adhered to this rule every night before making a mad dash for a steaming hot shower.
Monica was especially impressed with his behaviour. Not once had he complained or sulked at the restrictions placed upon him, in fact, he seemed to be positively thriving under the circumstances, making her wonder why she hadn’t been stricter with him earlier.
She allowed him to hold his meetings with his staff at the house, letting them use the kitchen and making sure they had a healthy supply of sandwiches, impressed with the way her son conducted himself with these much older and far more experienced men. She watched their faces as he talked and saw not one hint or resentment that this mere boy was running this business and taking home more than each man present.
As the meetings became a regular occurrence, she learned the names of Paul’s workers, she heard them talking and discussing ideas when Paul had left the room to take a call or to fetch some plans and with a start realised that these men held enormous respect for her son and the more she listened the more she understood why. Paul listened to his men, often implementing their ideas alongside his own and freely admitting when one of them suggested something, that he had no clue where to start with that and would they teach him. She realised Paul had the potential to be an extremely successful business man and made it her personal goal to make sure she helped him every step of the way.
“He’s a good kid Mrs Jensen; maybe you could lighten up on him a little.” Phil, Paul’s foreman commented as he left the house one evening after handing in that week’s time sheets.
Secretly, Monica was inclined to agree but succinctly informed the man that rules were rules and Paul had done his fair share of breaking them in the past for which he was now paying the price.
A week previously, Phil had listened to Paul’s explanation of his drunken stumble down the stairs, the reason for the bruises on his face and his stiffness in moving, the bruising over his ribs jabbing him each and every time he stretched.
“Come on lad,” Phil cajoled as he and the rest of the men warmed their hands on their plastic cups of tea on a break from digging “It’s well known that your old man is harsh with his discipline, you don’t have to cover it up, we know he’s knocked seven types of shit out of you.”
Paul looked into the murky brown liquid squirming over the serrations in his cup, for some unfathomable reason, he felt ashamed, he couldn’t admit that Michael had done this to him, not meeting Phil’s eyes he simply replied “We’d better get this finished” neither denying or confirming their suspicions.
He was allowed a phone call to Carmen once a week, during which both Monica and Michael were present making conversation between them strained and stilted, only once did Carmen crack, asking quietly when she would see him.
“I don’t know, they have me locked up tighter than a nun’s arsehole so it’s anyone’s guess when I will be allowed out into the big wide world again.” His comment earning him a scowl from Monica, Michael was unable to suppress his smile.
“I want you.” Carmen whispered.
“Oh God.” Paul groaned, closing his eyes. “I have to go.”
The news of Carmen’s affair with a student hit the Gloucester papers like an atomic bomb once she was officially sacked from her job. There had been rumours of course, but it was only when the school confirmed her dismissal and the reason behind it that she began to be hounded by the local press. It wasn’t long before the news went national and from there it took very little time to connect Carmen to Paul thanks to one or two of his previous girlfriends.
“Mum!” Paul shouted as he let himself into the utility room and began to strip “There’s press everywhere.” He finished as she opened the door into the house.
“Haven’t you seen the paper?” She asked, Paul shook his head.
Clothed only in his shorts, he stood by the breakfast bar and began to read the article, “Shit, how did this get out?” He asked then groaned as he read the names of the girls who had eagerly parted with information. “Has Dad seen this?”
“I would expect so judging from the phone call I had from him” she replied, and there it was, that flash of fear in her son’s eyes “He’s furious but it will be alright, you should stay out of his way for a few days.” she placated.
“A few days? Mum, Carmen’s’ not due for another few months, this isn’t going away any time soon.” He answered, his mind was reeling, he suddenly felt trapped and wanted to run “He’s going to kill me this time” he had spoken quietly, more to himself than her.
“No he’s not, he won’t touch you.” She reached out, smoothing down his windblown hair “I promise you that,” she closed the paper and threw it in the bin “Go and get cleaned up, I’ll bring your dinner up to you, stay in your room this evening.”
Paul flinched when two hours later, the front door slammed and Michael bellowed his name from the bottom of the stairs. Now he didn’t know what to do for the better, stay in his room as directed by Monica or go to his father. He was saved from his indecision when Monica quickly stuck her head around his bedroom door and told him to stay put, the row between husband and wife that ensued was of epic proportions the like of such would never again be repeated within the walls of the Jensen house.
When Matt returned home, he found his brother a quivering wreck on the edge of his bed. Having read the newspapers, he knew what the argument was about. Sitting by his brother, he nudged him with his shoulder;
“It’s going to be alright.” He told him.
“I don’t know Matt. Have you ever heard Mum shout at Dad like that?” Paul asked.
“Nope, didn’t know the old girl had it in her.” Matt admitted.
“What if he lashes out at her? It’ll be my fault.”
“He won’t. Dad’s not that evil.” He assured.
“Can I borrow your phone?” Paul asked, he couldn’t stand it anymore.
Matt knew better than to ask what Paul was going to do, he didn’t want any part of it, the less he knew, the better off he would be “I won’t say you can borrow it,” he said “But I’m going to hop in the shower, if you should happen to find it amongst my stuff while I’m in the bathroom then I’d know nothing about it.” He grinned as he left the room.
Paul made three calls, the first to Phil with a brief explanation of his plans and asking the older man if he could carry on with the job in his absence, adding that he would send time sheets and job cards in the next few days. The next was to Carmen, telling her he was on his way and would explain when he got there, the third and possibly most important call was to his Uncle John, pleading for a ride to Gloucester. When John heard the raised voices carrying to him down the phone line, he agreed to get his nephew as far away from the house as possible, hastily dressed and kissed the breathless girl in his bed goodbye before setting out into the cold winters’ night.
Half way into the journey, they stopped for fuel and food. John observed his nephew over the melamine table between them. The boy had been visibly trembling when he jumped into the car and threw his bag into the back seat and try as he might; John was unable to draw him into conversation. Watching him now, he noticed the trembling had stopped only to be replaced by hunched shoulders and a scowl worthy of a Greek God.
“You know I wouldn’t have left my occupied bed for anyone else right?” John asked.
“Yeah.” Paul sat up straighter and looked at his Uncle “Sorry I dragged you into this. If I had known you were on a promise I’d have waited.”
“But you would still have dragged me into it?” John replied with an amused smile “Don’t worry about it kid, like I’ve told you before, I’m on your side and I’m more th
an capable of handling my sister.” He swallowed the last of his surprisingly good coffee “Let’s hit the road.”
A few hours later, the drifted to a stop outside a rundown house in a ramshackle estate, neither of them making a move to leave the car.
“Not exactly what I’d pictured.” Paul spoke, he shifted in his seat and reached for his bag.
“It’s hardly up market is it?” John replied “But then perhaps we are snobs and far too used to the finer things in life.”
“Now we really need to sell that house. Carmen can’t bring the baby back here.”
“It’s probably better once you get inside.” John suggested hopefully only to receive a baleful look from his nephew “Ok so that’s wishful thinking. I’ll crack on with the house first thing tomorrow.” He promised.
“Thanks for everything John.” Paul reached for the door handle.
“No problem. Listen, call me if you need anything ok?” He asked, Paul nodded “Do you have money?”
A smile then “Of course.”
“Ok, make sure you call Monica, just let her know you are alright.”
“I will.” He answered as he stepped out of the car and into the freezing night air.
A security light snapped on as he approached the door, temporarily blinding him. While he waited for the door to be answered, he glanced around the facade of the house in the glare of the light and noticed that it was in a sorry state of repair making him even more determined to get Carmen out of here.
“You’d better come in.”
The voice had startled him, he turned from his appraisal of the house to see and painfully thin blond woman staring at him.
“Helen?” he asked.
“Of course.” She stepped aside and allowed him inside the shabby but clean house. She recognised him from the pictures in the papers and had to admit they hadn’t done him justice.