by Aubrey Rose
"Why are you here? Aren't you afraid?"
"Of course I am."
He could only gape as Liz seized both his hands in hers and kissed his knuckles. There were tears in her eyes and her fingers trembled as she twined them in his.
"Of course I'm afraid. But I've spent my life playing it safe. I'm done. I don't want that."
The tears rolled down her eyes and she continued in a rush of words. "I know it will be hard. But I can't decide what happens to you, or to me. I can't keep living in fear."
This couldn't be happening. In his dreams he had found her over and over again. She had spoken these words to him, reassured him. But this was not a dream, no, it was a dream made real. She loved him despite everything.
"You can't—you shouldn't—"
"Forget the shoulds and should nots," Liz whispered. "What do you want?"
Robb choked on the word.
"You," he whispered hoarsely. "Will you let me take you? I want to taste you."
"I want what you want," Liz said. Her hand cupped his cheek. "Just...just be gentle."
"I will." He would do whatever she wanted. He was hers completely.
He took her hand in his, and his eyes met hers in the blue light. The aching desire that had swept through him with that first taste of her blood reappeared in full force. He wanted her so badly, and now he could have her. She wanted it too. She didn't think he was a monster. The miracle he'd hoped for, over the past four centuries...
She looked at him as he kissed her, and he kept his gaze locked on hers. His lips ran down the back of her hand and came around to her wrist. She trembled as he ran his tongue along the vein pulsing just beneath her skin. He sensed the life force running through her body, and as he sank his teeth into her wrist he could not help but moan in pleasure.
The connection. Yes. This was what he had always wanted and never known. Her blood flowed into his body and he swam in the sensation of pure ecstasy as he drank her in. The heady aroma, tangy in the back of his mouth, the hot liquid on his tongue. In that instant the connection bonded them together so tightly that he fell headlong into the darkness of bliss. The hunger and the satisfaction came together in waves that rolled over him until he was at the peak of pleasure. Nothing had ever been like this, not with any other woman, not with any other feeding. It was her. Liz.
She was the one. His one true heart, his soul. He'd found her at last.
A sharp jerk of her arm brought him back to consciousness, and before he could release her she had ripped her wrist away. His teeth retracted, but not in time.
He felt the razor edge of his fangs snag against her flesh just as he opened his eyes and pulled himself back from the edge of his climax.
Liz was looking down in horror. He saw a rush of scarlet come forth from her opened vein. He reached for her arm. He could heal her with a drop of his blood—
"Ahh!"
Liz screamed and jerked away, her legs pedaling against the sheets.
No. No. Not this.
She scrambled back to the edge of the bed, blood pouring from her arm. Robb crawled toward her awkwardly, his mind whirling.
"Don't—" he said, but she had already rolled off of the bed and was running. Where was she going? How had he messed up so badly?
"Don't touch me!" she shrieked, stumbling backwards into the living room. Blood ran down her arm, dripping on the white carpet. The blood was smeared all over her naked body, the red bright against her pale skin in the living room lights.
"Stop! Liz!"
Robb followed her out, his mind reeling. She hadn't known. But she had said that he knew his secret. What secret, if not this one?
She was at the door now. Blood was everywhere, all across the carpet. His apartment looked like a crime scene. Which, he supposed, it technically was.
"Liz, please—"
"STAY AWAY!" she screamed. Whimpering, she struggled to get out. Her fingers slipped against the door handle but the door was locked. Robb saw panic in her eyes as she realized the door would only open on his command.
"Liz, don't—"
"Let me go!"
Liz turned, her back pressed against the door, and held her hands out as though to ward him off. Tears ran down her cheeks.
"I can't...I can't..." Robb stopped in the middle of the living room, not wanting to scare her any more than he already had.
"Let me go," she whimpered. In her eyes he saw the same fright that he'd seen in Eliza's, the day that the vampires took him. Blood streamed down her arm and began to pool at her feet. It made Robb sick to watch. Her face was pale, and he didn't know whether it was from the fright or simply from loss of blood. Her blood. He had to save her.
"I won't hurt you," he said. She sobbed and clutched her injured arm to her chest. He took another step toward her.
"Please... please..." She turned her cheek against the door, her eyes clenched shut. "Please let me go. Don't do this. Please."
"Liz. Listen to me. Listen."
His voice reverberated through the air and she stared up at him, wide-eyed. Her trembling voice was a whisper.
"What are you?"
Her eyes were wild, and he knew that the secret she had thought she knew about him was not at all the one he held deep in his heart. He stepped toward her slowly and knelt down in front of her. Her naked body shivered, her ashen skin slick and red with blood.
"I'm a monster," he said softly.
Her frightened eyes tracked his movements as he raised his arm. He let his teeth slip out, feeling the points of his fangs against his bottom lip. She gasped, her stare fixed at his mouth.
There, he wanted to say. Did you think you knew my secret? My real secret is much, much worse than any you could have dreamed of.
Without another moment's hesitation, he lifted his wrist to his mouth and ran his teeth slightly against the skin. The point sliced his wrist open and he began to bleed.
Quickly, then, he took her arm and pressed her cut against his. She shrieked and twisted under his grasp, but he held her easily.
"Shh," he said. "This will be over soon." She sobbed, high-pitched sobs that tore at his heart. "Shhh, Liz. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Soon it will be over..."
And then what?
He pushed the thought from his mind. Under his touch he could feel her healing, and after just a second or two he let her go, satisfied that her wound was gone.
She lifted her arm to examine herself, her fingers moving in disbelief over her healed skin, still sticky with blood.
Robb sat back, exhausted both physically and mentally.
His life as he knew it was over. He'd spent a hundred years building a life for himself that would allow him to search for a cure. And in just a few careless moments, he'd thrown away all of his security, all of his prosperity.
He'd admonished Thad for being so rash in his actions, but in this moment he knew that he was no better at all than his old acquaintance. Maybe worse.
Robb closed his eyes and tried to focus on his breath and not the scared girl in front of him, the girl who had made him fall in love after so many centuries of being cordoned off from the outside world. Love. He knew now that was what had bitten him, what he'd been looking for since he had turned into a black ghost. And now it was all over.
He had hurt her. He had saved her. Would he now have to kill her, too?
What had he done?
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Liz stared at her arm where the wound used to be, her fingers running over her skin. It was tender, but there was no sign of the arterial cut she knew had made her bleed so much. And Robb...Robb...
"You're a vampire," she said. It sounded crazy even as she said it, even as she saw Robb's teeth in her mind, the points dragging along his skin. His cut was healed, too.
She shook her head. The facts didn't make sense. The world didn't make sense. Numb chills ran over her skin.
"There's no such thing as vampires," she said. "But you're a vampire." She was still gulping down breaths heavily, and her hands
were shaking. She clutched her knees and tried to calm down. A vampire. It must be a dream. She pinched herself once, then again. She ran her hand over her skin again. There had been a cut there. There had. She had seen it.
Robb lifted his head, a look of utter sorrow on his face. He'd tricked her. It was all a trick. Wasn’t it? Why did he look like that?
"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He reached over her head and she flinched, but he was only getting a jacket from the coat rack next to the door. He handed her the jacket and she took it from him, averting her gaze.
"So you are. You're that."
"I'm what?"
"That...I mean, a vampire. You're real." She couldn't wrap her head around the idea.
"I guess you didn't know my secret after all," Robb said.
"Your secret?" Liz remembered what she'd seen in the lab. The results from the cytometer. "The blood! Was that—was that why your blood cell count was abnormal?"
"You tested my blood?"
Liz felt herself blush. Leave it to her to be embarrassed when she had a vampire sitting in front of her.
"I was curious," she said. "I wanted to know why you were like you were."
"Like what?"
"So closed off. Isolated. Why you had your own secret lab. I thought...I thought you had cancer. And now—"
Liz looked down at her hands. The blood was not dry yet, and her fingers were sticky against her palms. A scary thought flashed like the twinkle of a knife's edge dancing inches away from her.
"Am I—am I a vampire now?"
"No!" Robb's expression turned to concern. "No, of course not. I would never—God, Liz, I would never do that to you. It was just to heal you."
"You bit me," she said, her voice a whisper. As concerned as he seemed, he had bitten her. “Why would you do that unless you wanted to kill me?”
Robb shook his head in guilt.
“Never, Liz. I only take a little, and then I heal up the cut. It was never meant to hurt you. Never.”
Liz’s mind flashed back to the memory of him on the couch, the blood on the woman’s skin...
“Was that what you were doing to that woman?” she asked softly.
“Yes,” he said, meeting her gaze with utmost sincerity.
“Why did you bite me on my wrist? So that I could see?” Liz frowned. He could have hidden the truth from her, like he had with the other woman.
"I thought you knew," he said. “I wanted...” He opened his mouth and then closed it with a sigh. “I don’t know what I wanted.”
She swallowed hard.
"I need to clean up," she said. The blood was all over her body, and under Robb's jacket her skin itched with it. "I need to get dressed."
"I—yes. Of course." Robb frowned. "Liz, I'm sorry."
He reached out his hand to help her up, and she flinched instinctively. When she saw the hurt in his eyes, she regretted it. But he had bitten her...
"Liz, you know my secret now."
"I won't tell anyone." The words tumbled out of her mouth. "I promise."
She could see uncertainty passing across his face, but then he closed his eyes. He sighed.
"I'll be in my lab. You can shower and get dressed before you leave. Liz, I'm sorry—"
His voice cracked, and Liz wanted to go to him and comfort him. She shook off the reaction. He was right—he was a monster. He had attacked her.
"You'll unlock the door?" she asked, trying to sound brave. "So I can leave?"
"Yes," he said. "Of course."
She stood up, her legs trembling and unsteady. She held her hand against the door to keep her balance.
"Goodbye," she said firmly. He looked at her, and for an instant she thought she saw the glint of tears in his eyes. Her heart tore. This was the man who had held her in his arms, who had given her more pleasure than she'd ever known.
Then he turned away and left her alone in his apartment.
She showered quickly, running soap over her body to get rid of the blood. The hot water made clouds of steam billow up over her skin. Normally it would have relaxed her, aroused her even, but tonight she just wanted to get it over with and leave. As she washed herself Robb's face kept appearing in her mind, and her throat choked with tightness.
Even though she thought she'd gotten all of the blood, when she toweled herself off there were still streaks of red on the white towel. She threw the soiled towel in the corner of the bathroom and pulled her clothes on hurriedly. Heading out to the door of the apartment, she saw the splashes of blood all over the floor and against the doorframe. Her blood.
Her stomach turned and she pressed the back of her hand against her mouth to keep the bile down. She reached out and turned the handle of the door gingerly. The metal handle was sticky with drying blood, but Robb had told the truth—he'd left it unlocked for her.
She walked across the foyer and into the elevator quickly, glancing back to see if Robb would come out to try to talk to her. Part of her wanted him to come out, to explain more about what he was, about how this all had happened. Her curiosity flared, and her heart ached, but her body was tense with fear at the thought.
The lab door was closed, but it wasn't until the elevator doors had slid shut that she breathed a sigh of relief. Relief...and, too, disappointment.
"It's over, Liz," she said to herself, her jaw clenched. "It's okay. It's all over now."
The security guard waved slightly to her as she left, but she did not trust herself to even meet his eyes. Did he know? No. Nobody knew. Nobody except her. The secret of Robb's existence weighed on her mind. She escaped out onto the street and walked quickly down the sidewalk.
The rain was falling, but it was not the rain she was used to. The rain in London was cold, misty. The dampness worked its way inside her coat easily and she shivered. Her fingers felt sticky, and she looked down. It was the dried blood from the door handle. Her fingers were red.
She held her hands up, cupping them to try and catch the rain. The tips of her fingers went numb with the cold, but she didn't care. She needed to get it all off. Every bit. Every spot.
A car pulled up next to her on the road. She thought for a moment that it was Robb, and she turned quickly before realizing that it was only a cab.
"Ride, miss?" the driver said.
Liz got in, stuffing her hands into her pockets so that he couldn't see if there was any blood left on her hands. Her fingers were still a bit sticky with it, the webbed part of her palm still cracked with the dried stuff. She itched.
"The call said you'd be somewhere down this street. Don't know why you're walking in weather like this, I'da been happy to pick you up at your apartment."
Liz was silent. Robb had called the cab for her. Of course.
"Where to?" the driver said.
Liz thought about going back to her apartment. Facing Jenny. She would ask what had happened. What on earth could Liz even say to her? Hey, Jenny, you know that handsome rich guy who's running our lab? Yeah, he's a vampire.
Tears welled in her eyes and she pressed her hand to her wrist where it had been cut, feeling the puckered and healed skin. If it hadn't been for that, she would have thought that the events of the night had just been some kind of dream.
"Miss?" The cab driver adjusted his rearview mirror.
"The university," Liz said abruptly. She leaned back in her seat as the taxi pulled away from the curb. Against the car window, the raindrops ran slanted, the wind beating the streams of water sideways. It was good. She was moving. Getting away. Running away from this nightmare.
At the university she thanked the cab driver, who drove away before she could pay. She supposed Robb had paid already for her.
Her feet took her to the chemistry building. There were only a couple of students in the hallways, late night studiers, and they ignored her as she walked by, dripping wet. When she finally got to the chemistry lab, she flicked on the lights and shut the door behind her.
Her body slumped against the wal
l and she burst into tears. Her legs gave way and she let herself slide down to the floor, her face buried in her arms. She sobbed until her chest felt hollow and she could not breathe, and her tears ran dry and every gasp of breath was ragged. She cried for Robb, yes, but also for herself, pitying herself as a girl who would fall so easily for a monster. She cried for Cori, the sister she could never bring back, no matter how much research she did.
Finally she was done. She looked down and saw her hands shaking slightly, still stained in the fingernails with blood. She stood up, leaning unsteadily on the lab counter, and made her way to the sink.
Hot water. Yes. That was the best. Scalding water that would take away every bit of this nightmare. She scrubbed and scrubbed with the wire brush, scrubbed until she realized that the blood on her nails was fresh, caused by the scrubbing. Then she rinsed her hands, dried them, blotting the tissues pink on her wet skin.
She knew what she had to do.
Her fingers still trembled, but she found a pen and piece of paper and wrote the letter to Robb telling him that she was leaving the university and going back to America. He would find out soon enough, and he would understand that she meant to keep his secret. Jenny would get a new lab partner. And Liz—
She would be fine. She could take a year off, travel the world like she'd meant to do before. She could come back to school later—after all, she'd gotten a ton of offers from universities. It didn't have to be this one. It didn't have to be Robb.