by Colt, Shyla
“Just seeing how the next tracks are coming along. The artist loved the clips you’ve sent him so far.”
“It’s almost done. It’s a new sound, but I dig it. I’ve been really inspired lately. I can barely control the flow of creativity. I wake up in the middle of the night and I have to write. It feels like it did when I was just starting out and trying to make a name for myself.”
“It looks like you have some new inspiration in your life Jay,” Paul teased.
“Hmmm.”
“Well, now that I know everything’s good here, I’m going to head back home. Gina and I have a hot date tonight. I’m going to stick my head outside and say good-bye to Colette.”
“Okay.” Julian followed Paul out onto the veranda. He pondered his friend’s words. Why did he think Colette was into him? For a brief moment, he allowed himself to imagine it was true. The warm and fuzzies set in and Julian knew he was on his way to being in deep trouble.
“All right, I’ll see you later, bro,” Paul said.
“See you later, Paul.” He turned back to Colette.
“Our mini-feast is ready,” she said.
“Thanks for setting it up.”
“Hey, you provided the food today, so this was the least I could do.”
Cold cuts, sliced pieces of wheat bread, assorted bottles of condiments and a grape, strawberry and melon medley were lined up in square plastic Tupperware on the middle of the patio table. Two bottles of water sat on either side of the table.
He took the seat that put his back to the window and she followed suit in the seat across from him.
“Paul’s nice.”
“Yeah, he’s been my best friend for ages.”
“How did you two meet? You seem more like brothers than friends.”
He tensed. This was the first time their conversations had ventured into his past in such a personal way. Up until now, it’d always been generic: What bands did you like growing up? What did you think you wanted to do when you were in high school? He shifted in his seat and averted his eyes. “We met in high school. We were foster brothers from sophomore year on.”
“No wonder you trust him to be your manager.”
Her easy acceptance and obvious avoidance of asking more made him wary. This was too good to be true. He ate a few more bites of fruit. “That’s it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not going to ask me why I was in a foster home?”
“You didn’t seem comfortable with the conversation and I’m here to enjoy our time together, not to pry.” She arched an eyebrow. “Did you want to talk about it?”
“Not particularly.” He shook his head. “You’re a strange woman, Colette Starvos.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Good, because it was one.”
“I was out for a walk and I saw Thursday evenings they have a farmers’ market near the beach.”
“Yeah, it’s been going on for a while.”
“Have you ever been?”
“No.”
“Great, then we can experience it together for the first time.”
“Colette...”
“What? You’re in the house too much. I’m an artist too, but sometimes you have to get air.”
“You know why I stick close to home,” he mumbled. His face flushed. Anger threatened to blow in like a dark cloud.
“I do. But Julian, that’s their problem.” She set down her fork, reached across the table and took his hand in hers. “I would really like you to do this with me.”
“You’re asking for a lot.”
“I promise people are more kind than you think.”
He grunted and gently removed her hand. “I wish I had your optimism.”
“It’ll be at night ...”
“You aren’t going to stop until I agree, are you?”
“No.”
“Fine…I’ll go.”
“Yes!”
“On one condition.”
She sobered. “Okay, shoot.”
“We leave when I’m ready, no questions asked,” he said.
“Deal.”
Damn, I’m a fool. Maybe, but the sparkle in her eyes made him feel like a new man. It was an emotion he was beginning to crave. She made the impossible seem attainable. Perhaps he could live a normal life and be seen as someone of value outside of his ability to write music people enjoyed. Julian’s anxiety spiked. Can I do this?
Colette glanced up smiled. “It’ll be fine. Let’s finish our lunch. I know you want to do more work on your music and I want to take advantage of the light.”
“You’re right.” He took another bite of the fruit salad. The taste had fled and the melon seemed to stick in his throat. He washed it down with a swig of water and declared himself done. They wrapped lunch shortly after and he escaped to the safety of his work.
* * * *
As darkness chased away the sun, nerves threatened to get the best of him. He was dressed to blend in, with a pair of blue jeans and a lightweight blue-and-black button-down T-shirt. Was it too late to back out? His doorbell chimed. Apparently so.
He jogged down the stairs to open the front door.
Black skinny jeans hugged her curves and a white tank top with a deep V and a zebra print showed off the round globes that haunted his dreams. She stepped inside as though they were lifelong friends and pulled him into a hug. Her curves molded into him.
His libido went through the roof. Julian bit his bottom lip to keep from moaning aloud as he wrapped his arms around her. She has no clue what she’s doing to me. He wanted to linger, rest his head on her shoulder and take the comfort she had to give. Step back now before you embarrass yourself.
“Are you ready?”
“Yeah, let me grab my keys and we’ll go.” He stepped back and thought of ice-cold water as he made his way into the kitchen and grabbed the keys off the counter. He returned to her side and she offered a soft smile.
“We’ll have fun. I promise.”
He grunted.
She slipped her arm through his and guided him out to the crisp night air.
He locked the door and they began the short walk to the area near the beach where they blocked off streets and the vendors set up shop. The blacktop of one street was covered with tables and tents lined with different wares. The other focused in on food. With hot dogs, hamburgers, natural foods and fruits, it reminded him of a carnival.
He winced at the memory of his first carnival. “I thought this was a carnival, not a circus sideshow.” The voices of the other children were still as clear as that day twenty-five years ago. His stomach knotted. His skin prickled under the weight of eyes. Murmurs and whispers reached his ears as they walked. Julian scowled and met the gaze of one of the gossipers head-on.
The teenager looked away immediately.
“Oh, those are gorgeous,” Colette said.
Her words sliced through his personal hell. He turned away from the stare down. The awe covering her face chased away a good portion of his anger. He followed her gaze to the flowers that filled silver buckets. Vivid orange reds, yellows and shades of pink filled his vision.
The elderly woman behind the counter smiled. “A beautiful bouquet for a beautiful woman, perhaps?” The woman cast a quick look in his direction. Shock twisted her expression, though she had a swift recovery. She smoothed her facial expression back to hide her emotions.
She’s nicer than most. “You should get some, Colette. Maybe you could do a painting of them?”
“That’s a fantastic idea.” She went to dig into her pocket.
He held out his hand. “I’ve got it.”
“But—”
He shook his head. “Pick out the ones you want,” he said before he turned to the lady behind the table. “How much do I owe you?”
“Five dollars.”
He dug out the money, pleased that she managed to treat him like any other customer. “Thanks.” There might be something to Colett
e’s words. She’d been pumping him full of positive words, thoughts and hope like an IV drip going into a dehydrated patient.
“You’re welcome.”
Colette chose a pink-hued bouquet of roses, daises and a couple of flowers he didn’t know the names of. “Thank you!” She lifted the flowers up to her nose, inhaled deeply and released a pleasure-filled sigh.
A shiver slithered down his spine. Steady, she’s not for you.
She slipped her hands in his, intertwining their fingers and led him away from the booth.
For a split second, he thought of pulling away. No, he’d allow himself this small pleasure.
As the night wore on, he began to loosen up. She kept up a steady stream of conversation and playful teasing that kept his mind off the occasional whispers. He was out for reasons other than necessity and the sky hadn’t imploded. It was a small step, but the first attempt he’d made in years.
Colette’s body brushed against his and he peered down to see a shy smile on her lips. She rose onto her tiptoes. His eyes went wide and his body locked into place as she came closer, inch by inch, until their lips connected. Her lips were even softer than they’d been in the dream. The whole thing made his head spin.
“He must have a shit ton of money for her to be kissing him in public!”
The words hit him like a bucket of ice-cold water. He pushed back away from her. “This can’t happen, Colette. I’m not the right man for you.” He shook his head and waved off her protest with his hand. “No. I’m not going to argue this with you. I enjoy your friendship. Let that be enough, ’cause it’s all we can ever have.” He turned on his heel and walked away from the scene.
Why did she have to screw up their arrangement? It wasn’t as though she couldn’t get any man she wanted. He wasn’t just scarred on the outside. Something inside of him had broken long ago. He couldn’t subject her to that. If he were anyone else, tears would be forming behind his lids, but he was all cried out. Julian learned long ago, tears did nothing.
You just walked out on your one chance at love. Go back and beg her for forgiveness.
He ignored the frantic voice echoing in his brain and walked as fast as he could without running. The farther away he got from the farmers’ market, the better he felt. Despite her good intentions and misguided emotions, society would pick them apart piece by piece. He cared enough about her not to subject her to that kind of torture. She was an ethereal creature who deserved beauty, love and light in her life.
* * * *
Colette watched as he disappeared in the darkness. Her heart ached. How could he do this? It was a kiss! A simple press of two sets of lips together and he’d turned tail. Tears welled in her eyes as she ambled off toward the beach, away from the staring crowd that chattered around her.
As the light of the vendors faded, large, salty tears trailed down her cheeks. The instant rejection hurt, not only her feelings but her soul. Until this moment, a part of her believed the moment they kissed would open some magical connection and pave the rocky road they’d been traveling down. She paused when the sidewalk met the sandy area of the beach, slipped off her black heels and stepped onto the soft grains.
When she reached the shoreline, she sank down and peered up at the moon. Where do I go from here? Do I apologize, give him space? Or do I fight?
She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees as the moonlight shone down on the dark ocean. Wind whipped her hair around her as she took a moment to grieve for the death of a longtime dream. Things were not what she thought they would be here. She missed home, her family. Colette sniffed as misery threatened to sink its hooks into her. A Muse with no joy or inspiration is a dangerous thing. Muses needed humans just as much as humans needed them. The mutual benefits were a check and balance of sorts.
Thoughts of sullen-faced Aella and the madness that had taken her over danced on the fringes of her mind. She was on a slippery slope. I need to snap out of this.
She sat up and ran a hand through her windblown locks. I knew this wasn’t going to be a cakewalk. I’ve been his rock for over thirty years. I can continue to be that now. The blood of Zeus runs through my veins. I am not weak. Julian may be prickly on the outside, but I know what lies beneath. That’s the prize I’m fighting for.
Colette stood. Coming here had been an eye-opening and enriching experience. On Mount Helicon, they were free from everyday worries, fed the best foods, surrounded by beauty and treated like royalty. Yet, having lived on Earth, she now questioned if they really lived.
Human life was messy, heartbreaking, exciting and frustrating…so many different things rolled up into a short amount of time. She wrapped her arms around her waist as she headed back toward the people and the lights with her focus returned. I refuse to give up on you or what I know we can be, Julian Sorrow.
CHAPTER EIGHT
She never painted outside anymore. Julian glanced out the window on the side of his house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Colette. They hadn’t spoken since the incident a few weeks ago and he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her. It twisted his gut and made him nauseous to think he’d chased her away from her art. I wanted her to keep her distance, not avoid me altogether.
He willed her to appear as he stared at her front yard. When nothing happened, he snorted. What did you expect? Things never work out the way you want them to. He turned away from the window and walked back to sit at his desk. His creative streak had all but lay down in the road and died since he and Colette parted ways, maybe due to the guilt eating its way from the inside out.
She looked so devastated and confused. You could apologize. No. “Great, now I’m having arguments with myself.”
He balled up the paper full of scratched-out lines and ran a hand through his hair. He was getting nowhere fast with this. His eyes were pulled back to the window like magnets. He blinked, squinted and looked again. There’s something odd about the view. His mind made the connection.
Smoke billowed out of Colette’s cracked window. He stood from the desk and ran for the door.
Julian bounded through her unlocked door, once he reached her house. Stifling smoke and an acrid scent of burning attacked him. His nose burned and his eyes watered. Fear made his limbs stiff. Will was the only thing that made him move forward. Sweat dampened his clothing as flashes of fire and pain flickered in his mind like a black-and-white movie. His breath came in pants.
What are you doing! You run out of fires, not into them!
He ignored the voice and forged forward. He would not leave Colette in there. Had she succumbed to smoke inhalation? “Colette!”
He coughed, covered his nose and mouth with his arm and ran toward the kitchen, where the smoke seemed to be the thickest. Heat seared his skin and his heart threatened to burst through his chest.
When he cleared the threshold, the smoke thinned to show a frantic Colette tossing flour on a smoking cast-iron skillet and the burner beneath. His body shook as his adrenaline hit a brick wall and he stared at the woman before him. She looked fine. Relief ran through him and he walked over to pull the disheveled woman covered in flour into his arms.
She glanced up and blew a wayward clump of hair off her forehead. “Julian? What are you doing here?”
He’d just faced his worst fear head-on for the woman in his arms. He buried his face in her neck, unable to talk, as tears welled in his eyes and his throat swelled.
“Oh, my God, you’re shaking. Are you okay?”
He shook his head, tightening his hold as the memories of his past threatened to overwhelm him.
She stroked his hair and hummed a tune that lulled him into a state of semi-peaceful calm. When he had his head screwed back on straight, he pulled away to meet her probing gaze. “I thought there was a fire here.”
Colette gasped and covered her mouth. “And you ran in here after me?” she whispered.
He nodded, unable to speak.
She leaned forward and rested her forehead against his
. “Thank you.” Her lips brushed his in a whisper of a kiss. He wanted more.
He brought his hand up to cup the back of her head and pulled her back. He kissed her tentatively, testing his welcome, a light press of his mouth to hers. She sighed, her eyes fluttered and he relaxed. The gentle pressure of lips becoming acquainted morphed into a passionate exchange. She traced his lips with her tongue, growling when he opened to allow her entrance. God, she tastes like champagne! Sweet and bubbly, she went to his head. Julian explored every inch of her mouth.
Fright had given wings to bravery.
Their tongues tangled and her body molded into his. Like swimmers, they surfaced for air and went back under. She moaned. The sound sent blood rushing to his already hardened cock. Her soft touches moved over his textured skin, making him shiver. He enjoyed it, though it made him uncomfortable. Was she disgusted? Insecurities threatened to overtake him. He moved to pull away and she sighed. The dreamy sound stopped him in his tracks.
“What are you doing to me, Julian Sorrow?”
Don’t walk away this time. She might not welcome you back.
“I’m surrendering to whatever this is between us. I’m done running, Colette. I’m scared shitless, but I’m here.” Julian peered down into her eyes. He knew this was the opportunity he thought would never come. If he couldn’t make it work with her, he would be lost.
“Then that’s where we’ll start.” A smile flitted over her lips.
Julian felt like he was on top of the world. He’d done that to her.
With the threat of imminent danger gone, he took in her outfit. The strapless yellow sundress bared her shoulders and her back. He ran his fingers down her face. “When I saw the billowing gray tower of smoke pouring out of your window, I panicked. All I could think about was you lying on the floor, incapacitated from smoke inhalation. It scared me, Colette. You’ve come to mean a lot to me. I don’t know what you see in me. I’m sarcastic, bitter, everything you’re not.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You really aren’t. It’s just a facade you put on for everyone else.”