by Nikki Ash
“A game? What are we, five?” Kaden asks. Everybody laughs at his question but of course all their drunk asses agree to play.
“Caleb, truth or dare?” Kayla asks me. I know I have to pick dare even though I don’t want to. If I pick truth, she will ask me a question I won’t want to answer. She is always asking why I never bring females home. I can’t put myself in that position to have to lie to her.
I glare at her but go along with it. “Dare.”
Kayla looks over to her left, and following her I see her look at Hayley and then smirk. Don’t do it Kayla… but she does.
“I dare you to kiss Hayley.” Hayley glares at her clearly embarrassed.
“You don’t have to…” Hayley turns to me and says. But without letting her finish I pull her to me for a kiss. Her lips are soft and warm and she tastes like the sweet liquor concoction she has been sipping on all night. My tongue seeks entrance and soon we are full on making out in front of everyone in the middle of a nightclub. I can almost enjoy it, but then it hits me. Once again I am kissing a woman against my own free will.
No, I am technically not being forced and I wouldn’t compare it to what Gloria did to me but we aren’t kissing out of love or even lust. I am kissing her because somebody dared me to, and just like that it’s as if I am being manipulated and used all over again. It’s like ice water being splashed on me. I end the now tainted kiss abruptly slightly pushing Hayley away from me. She gives me a confused, embarrassed look that turns sad wondering if she did something wrong…
Since then Hayley has made it clear on several occasions she likes me but I have continued to ignore all her advances. I know it’s been seven fucking years since I left Boulder and my past behind but I can’t find it in me to be with a woman of my own free will. Every time I think about it, I feel like in some way or another it’s being forced on me. I don’t know how to change the way I feel.
And let’s say I do find a woman that I choose to touch. How do I know I can trust her? How do I know she won’t want me for all the wrong reasons or that she won’t cheat on me? I think about my sister and mom and stepmom, and how I trusted each one of them in a different way and what did they do? They all lied. I think about all the women I watched cheat on their husbands. I don’t know how to truly trust a woman, and I can’t imagine being with someone without trusting her but then I think about Kayla and Liz and while neither of them are perfect I don’t believe either of them would do anything to deliberately hurt Bentley or Cooper. I trust both of those women as much as I am capable of.
And even if we get past all that trust bullshit, how do I tell her that I lost my virginity at fifteen years old to my stepmom who then blackmailed me into learning how to please a woman so she could pimp me out to cheating wives? Who the fuck wants to deal with that kind of baggage?
Attempting to shake myself out of my thoughts I see Hayley still standing there, staring at me, and fuck if she isn’t a naturally beautiful woman. I first look at her eyes because they are wide open; they are light brown and remind me of the Werther’s caramels my mom used to buy me at the store when I was younger. Then my eyes drift to the rest of her face and notice she has cute freckles lightly spattered across her nose. She doesn’t wear tons of make up like most women do in Las Vegas. She looks like she has a bit of clear lipstick on because her lips are shiny. It makes me want to taste them. Forcing myself to look away from her face I look at her hair. It’s brown with shades of lighter brown and blonde mixed in.
Her head is tilted just a little to the side and my eyes go back to her mouth. It is curved into a slight frown. Her frowning does something to me. I want to make her smile. Is it crazy that I want to kiss that frown right off her face? Why is she just standing there staring at me? Shit! Remembering I just spilled coffee on her, I grab a towel off the towel rack and go to clean her shirt. My hand hits her breast and she jumps back, her face turning red with embarrassment. What the hell am I doing?
“I am so sorry!” I say once again, this time for touching her without permission.
She lets out a soft giggle and it’s got to be the sweetest sound I have ever heard.
“It’s ok,” she says taking the towel from me. She grabs her water bottle and pours some water on the towel and proceeds to dab the wet towel onto the stain. “I just wasn’t expecting you to do that.” Her face is bright red as she looks down at the spot to avoid looking at me. She is so adorable.
When she removes the towel the area is soaking wet and I can see right through her white button up shirt to her white lacy bra. From the cold water her nipple is poking through, and for the first time in God knows how long, my dick is twitching of its own free will. I bring my eyes back up to her face and try to discreetly adjust myself. I am obviously not discreet enough because Hayley looks at my face, down to my hard-on, then back to her soaked shirt.
If it’s even possible her face goes redder and I can’t help but laugh at the awkwardness of this entire situation. How did I not notice how fucking adorable this chick is? She pouts at my laughter and covers her wet shirt and pointed nipples with the towel making me laugh even harder.
“Are you laughing?” Kaden comes over and pats my shoulder trying to assess the situation.
He looks back and forth between Hayley and me. “You must be hilarious because I don’t think I have ever heard Caleb laugh.”
Hayley’s eyes go wide and she mutters something along the lines of, “I need to go find a new shirt,” as she hightails it away from us with the towel still covering her chest.
“What was that about?” Kaden asks watching Hayley as she walks away.
“Nothing. I spilled my coffee on her by accident. Ready to go workout for a little bit?”
He studies me for a second. “Yeah. If you want to be ready for the fight in a few months we need to start training hardcore. You ready for that?”
“I was born ready.”
We begin warming up and a few minutes later I notice Hayley walking out of the locker room with a new shirt on. She walks over to Stephen, another fighter, and begins feeling his fingers. He must have hurt them somehow while training. I know she is the onsite doctor here at the gym so it’s her job to touch the fighters to see what’s wrong but something I have never felt before hits me as I watch her touch him; jealousy, maybe? I’m not sure. Then he says something to her causing her to break out in a full grin. Her head goes back and she laughs loudly. She might have been giggling with me but it wasn’t anywhere close to the reaction he’s getting from her. She might be adorable with her shy giggles but when she laughs… she’s downright fucking beautiful.
Kaden catches me watching her and clears his throat. When I force my eyes off her and look at him he’s got a smirk on his face looking like he’s about to comment.
I ignore him and walk to the ring ready to train. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me but I need to focus on fighting. Sure, her laughter does something strange to my insides, and damn she looks hot as hell with her body full of curves and toned legs that go on for miles in her high heels and skirts. Then on top of all that knowing she can kiss. Everything about Hayley is a complete turn on but at the end of the day she is still a woman, and like I have said before and will continue to say; women, for the most part can’t be trusted, and I doubt Hayley is an exception.
We get into the ring and get our gloves and gear on, when I hear someone call out my name. I look around and see Marco running over to me. Marco is twelve years old and part of the Youth MMA program Cooper is running for kids who want a safe place to practice and train. As often as I can, I teach the class. Cooper and Liz’s almost six-year-old daughter is part of the program as well. She swears one day she will become a UFC fighter. I don’t doubt it. That little girl is beyond determined.
Earlier this year, Marco started coming into the gym. He wanted to be a part of the class but his mom couldn’t afford it so Bentley opened up a scholarship program for kids whose parents don’t have the money to pay. It all
ows them to train at a discounted rate. In Marco’s case, he trains for free.
The truth is, nobody has ever seen Marco’s mom except for me. After getting excuse after excuse I followed him home one day and saw he lives in section eight housing in a shitty area. When he went to school the next day I knocked on the door and found a woman who looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders.
She confided in me that Marco’s dad was killed in a drive-by years ago; she recently had another baby by some other guy and is between jobs. I could tell she was strung out on drugs but knew better than to bring it up. The sure-fire way to piss off a drug addict is to call them out on it. She would most likely just lie anyway. I had her sign for Marco to join the program and told her if she needs anything to let me know, not because I want to help her but because I want to make sure Marco is ok. She is another example of an untrustworthy woman, choosing drugs over her own children.
Since she signed the papers Marco has practically lived at the gym. When there aren’t classes I let him clean and sweep just like Diego did for me. It keeps him off the streets and out of trouble. Before he started coming to the gym he used to hang out down at the skate park. He enjoys skateboarding but says he loves fighting.
“What’s up?” I say fist bumping him.
“Wanna join us?” Kaden asks. The guys know all about Marco’s situation and treat him like he’s one of us.
Marco looks conflicted for a second but shakes his head no. “No, I can’t. I have stuff I have to do today but just wanted to let you know I won’t be able to make the training camp today.”
A red flag immediately goes up. Marco has never missed a class. Ever. That kid is the first one here and doesn’t leave until he has no choice. For him to miss a class, something is up.
“I’m gonna miss you in class. What’s going on that you can’t make it?” I ask nonchalantly trying to get him to open up. He reminds me a lot of myself. He keeps to himself and doesn’t speak more than necessary.
His refusal to look me in the eyes tells me whatever he is about to say will be a lie.
“I have to help take care of Chloe. I just wanted to tell you.”
Chloe is Marco’s little sister. She is only a few months old and while I know he helps watch her, I also know he has never missed a class to watch her. I let it go for now. Calling him out on this won’t help the situation.
“Ok, buddy. If anything changes come back, ok?”
“Ok,” he says with a frown marring his face. It breaks my heart what this kid goes through. Yeah, my situation was shitty as a teenager but I never had to worry about when I would eat next. I had name brand clothes, the newest cellphones, and was given a new car almost every birthday. I chose to walk away from it all the day I left, but for Marco he doesn’t get a choice. He’s never been given a choice.
He leaves out the door and I rip my headgear and gloves off, throwing them to the side.
“Where are you going?” Kaden asks.
“I’m following him. Something is up. That kid doesn’t miss class.”
Not waiting for a response from Kaden, I run to the locker room to grab my wallet and keys, and run out the door to find out where Marco is really going.
Hayley
I am running so late this morning and I hate running late. The water heater in my house broke last night so I was forced to take an ice cold shower this morning. I tried to call around to find someone to fix it but with Christmas so close these people want to charge an arm and a leg. So much for the holiday spirit! I still need to buy a couple more presents. I have no idea what to buy my sister, Hannah. She is seriously the hardest person to shop for.
On my way to the gym I received a call from Cooper letting me know one of the fighters thinks he might have sprained or possibly broken a couple of fingers and would like me to check it out before he goes to the hospital. His text throws me off and I completely forget to go through the drive thru to grab a coffee. Oh well! I will have to run back out later when I have time.
I make it to the gym in record time, run straight to the locker room to throw my purse and keys into a locker, fill up my water bottle with cold water, and head back out to find Stephen, the fighter with the possibly broken fingers. I barely make it out of the locker room when I run into a wall. Ok, not a wall, a solid man whose body feels like a wall. Warmth spreads across my chest and it’s not from the unrequited lust I feel for this man. Nope, it’s from the warm coffee that just spilled all over my blouse. Coffee, that isn’t even mine. Coffee, that I almost want to lick off my blouse in hopes I will get even a little bit of caffeine running through my exhausted body.
I look up from the stain covering my chest and into the most beautiful blue-grey eyes of Caleb Michaels, the man who I have a huge crush on. I know what you are thinking. What woman in her thirties has a crush? Well, most women in her thirties are married with kids, so they don’t have to crush like a damn teenager. Not me, though. After spending my teenage years studying my ass off to get into a good college, I then studied my ass off to get into a good medical program. It has always been my dream to get a degree in Sports Medicine. I love sports and I love healing people so it just made sense. I did make the mistake of dating once in college. I was so busy with school the guy ended up cheating on me with my roommate. I told myself I wouldn’t date again until I could devote the right amount of time to a man.
I finally graduated and was so fortunate to get a job working at Cooper’s training facility right away. The hours are great and I am able to work with athletes every day doing what I love. I get to travel to fights and it’s seriously amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better job. The only downside is, between all my years of school and now work, I am thirty years old and still single with no kids. And if that isn’t enough, the guy I like doesn’t even know I exist. Well, I think he knows I exist but he definitely doesn’t reciprocate my feelings.
Although, there was that time at the club when he was dared to kiss me… Hol-y shit! It had to have been the most intense kiss of my life! I thought maybe he felt something as well but after the kiss was over, he walked away without looking back.
Caleb looks around for a moment and grabs a towel bringing it right to my chest. He starts dabbing my boobs with it and I am shocked he is touching me. My memory flashes back to the time we were all over Cooper and Liz’s place. The guys had stayed home to watch Bella, Liz and Cooper’s daughter, and Tristan, our friend Ashley’s son, while the women all got drunk and had a girls night at my place. Somehow we ended up back at Liz’s place, and Caleb was there, looking sexy as hell in his own brooding way, sitting on the couch watching a UFC fight, and in my intoxicated state I walked over to sit down next to him and patted his leg...
“Sorry, to ruin your little fight party.” I sit down next to Caleb and pat him on his leg. I can feel him stiffen slightly before he jumps up from his spot on the couch like he is on fire.
“I have to get to work,” he says, and without saying goodbye to anybody he hauls ass out the door.
Then there was the ski trip where he didn’t want to even sleep in the same room as me…
We had just arrived to Bentley’s amazing vacation home in Breckenridge. Caleb asked where everyone was sleeping and within seconds rooms were called. Bentley and Kayla went to the master suite, Cooper and Liz went off to another room and even though Ashley and Kaden are just friends, they are really close so had no problem sharing a room. That left Caleb and me and unfortunately only one room left.
“I don’t mind sharing if you don’t,” I said.
Caleb looked around the room and saw there was only one bed, which meant sharing a room also meant sharing a bed.
“Sorry, I can’t do this,” he grimaced.
“I promise not to attack you in my sleep.” It was my attempt to make light of the situation. He wasn’t having it though.
“No, I am not going to be forced to share a room with you. Sorry.”
Geez. I get he doesn’t want to share a r
oom with me but damn! I am not forcing him to do anything…
Needless to say he ended up sleeping on the couch during our stay and has pretty much avoided me since then.
I look at him embarrassed. One, for realizing how ridiculous I must look for hitting on him when he’s made it clear he doesn’t want me, and two for being completely turned on by this man’s touch.
He must realize he is rubbing all over my breasts because he pulls back and begins to apologize profusely. I can’t help but nervously laugh. The guy who doesn’t want to touch me is not only touching me but also unintentionally feeling me up like we are back in high school.
“It’s ok,” I say without being able to make eye contact with him. This is so embarrassing.
“I wasn’t expecting you to do that,” I add referring to him feeling me up. I grab my water bottle and try to blot the stained area hoping to make it a little easier to get out later. The stain doesn’t seem to be coming out at all so I give up and remove the towel from my chest. When I notice Caleb hasn’t said a word I finally get the courage to look at him and when I do I see what looks like lust in his eyes… but it can’t be. This guy has made it clear he doesn’t want me.
I follow his gaze to find my traitorous nipples are poking through my soaking wet blouse! Jesus, I don’t think this situation could get any more embarrassing… until I look back at Caleb and see him adjusting what now looks like an erection in his boxing shorts. I can feel my face getting hot and then Caleb laughs! He. Fucking. Laughs. I don’t know what he thinks is so funny but it’s definitely not any of this.
Kaden comes over just in time and asks why Caleb is laughing. He says something about me making Caleb laugh, and before Caleb can explain and further embarrass me, I mumble about needing a new shirt and get the hell out of there.
“Can I borrow a shirt?” I blurt out when I find Liz in her office.
She looks up at me with a confused expression. I shake my head not wanting to get into it but of course she isn’t having it.