Intrusion of Jimmy

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by Intrusion Of Jimmy


  everything."

  "Pitt, old boy," protested his lordship, "you don't understand. We

  aren't going to give you away. We're all--"

  Jimmy ignored him.

  "Molly, listen," he said.

  She sat up.

  "Go on, Jimmy," she said.

  "I wasn't stealing the necklace. I was putting it back. The man who

  came to the castle with me, Spike Mullins, took it this afternoon,

  and brought it to me."

  Spike Mullins! Molly remembered the name.

  "He thinks I am a crook, a sort of Raffles. It was my fault. I was a

  fool. It all began that night in New York, when we met at your

  house. I had been to the opening performance of a play called,

  'Love, the Cracksman,' one of those burglar plays."

  "Jolly good show," interpolated his lordship, chattily. "It was at

  the Circle over here. I went twice."

  "A friend of mine, a man named Mifflin, had been playing the hero in

  it, and after the show, at the club, he started in talking about the

  art of burglary--he'd been studying it--and I said that anybody

  could burgle a house. And, in another minute, it somehow happened

  that I had made a bet that I would do it that night. Heaven knows

  whether I ever really meant to; but, that same night, this man

  Mullins broke into my flat, and I caught him. We got into

  conversation, and I worked off on him a lot of technical stuff I'd

  heard from this actor friend of mine, and he jumped to the

  conclusion that I was an expert. And, then, it suddenly occurred to

  me that it would be a good joke on Mifflin if I went out with

  Mullins, and did break into a house. I wasn't in the mood to think

  what a fool I was at the time. Well, anyway, we went out, and--well,

  that's how it all happened. And, then, I met Spike in London, down

  and out, and brought him here."

  He looked at her anxiously. It did not need his lordship's owlish

  expression of doubt to tell him how weak his story must sound. He

  had felt it even as he was telling it. He was bound to admit that,

  if ever a story rang false in every sentence, it was this one.

  "Pitt, old man," said his lordship, shaking his head, more in sorrow

  than in anger, "it won't do, old top. What's the point of putting up

  any old yarn like that? Don't you see, what I mean is, it's not as

  if we minded. Don't I keep telling you we're all pals here? I've

  often thought what a jolly good feller old Raffles was. Regular

  sportsman! I don't blame a chappie for doing the gentleman burglar

  touch. Seems to me it's a dashed sporting--"

  Molly turned on him suddenly, cutting short his views on the ethics

  of gentlemanly theft in a blaze of indignation.

  "What do you mean?" she cried. "Do you think I don't believe every

  word Jimmy has said?"

  His lordship jumped.

  "Well, don't you know, it seemed to me a bit thin. What I mean is--"

  He met Molly's eye. "Oh, well!" he concluded, lamely.

  Molly turned to Jimmy.

  "Jimmy, of course, I believe you. I believe every word."

  "Molly!"

  His lordship looked on, marveling. The thought crossed his mind that

  he had lost the ideal wife. A girl who would believe any old yarn a

  feller cared to--If it hadn't been for Katie! For a moment, he felt

  almost sad.

  Jimmy and Molly were looking at each other in silence. From the

  expression on their faces, his lordship gathered that his existence

  had once more been forgotten. He saw her hold out her hands to

  Jimmy, and it seemed to him that the time had come to look away. It

  was embarrassing for a chap! He looked away.

  The next moment, the door opened and closed again, and she had gone.

  He looked at Jimmy. Jimmy was still apparently unconscious of his

  presence.

  His lordship coughed.

  "Pitt, old man--"

  "Hullo!" said Jimmy, coming out of his thoughts with a start. "You

  still here? By the way--" he eyed Lord Dreever curiously--"I never

  thought of asking before--what on earth are you doing here? Why were

  you behind the curtain? Were you playing hide-and-seek?"

  His lordship was not one of those who invent circumstantial stories

  easily on the spur of the moment. He searched rapidly for something

  that would pass muster, then abandoned the hopeless struggle. After

  all, why not be frank? He still believed Jimmy to be of the class of

  the hero of "Love, the Cracksman." There would be no harm in

  confiding in him. He was a good fellow, a kindred soul, and would

  sympathize.

  "It's like this," he said. And, having prefaced his narrative with

  the sound remark that he had been a bit of an ass, he gave Jimmy a

  summary of recent events.

  "What!" said Jimmy. "You taught Hargate picquet? Why, my dear man,

  he was playing picquet like a professor when you were in short

  frocks. He's a wonder at it."

  His lordship started.

  "How's that?" he said. "You don't know him, do you?"

  "I met him in New York, at the Strollers' Club. A pal of mine, an

  actor, this fellow Mifflin I mentioned just now, put him up as a

  guest. He coined money at picquet. And there were some pretty

  useful players in the place, too. I don't wonder you found him a

  promising pupil."

  "Then--then--why, dash it, then he's a bally sharper!"

  "You're a genius at crisp description," said Jimmy. "You've got him

  summed up to rights first shot."

  "I sha'n't pay him a bally penny!"

  "Of course not. If he makes any objection, refer him to me."

  His lordship's relief was extreme. The more overpowering effects of

  the elixir had passed away, and he saw now, what he had not seen in

  his more exuberant frame of mind, the cloud of suspicion that must

  have hung over him when the loss of the banknotes was discovered.

  He wiped his forehead.

  "By Jove!" he said. "That's something off my mind! By George, I feel

  like a two-year-old. I say, you're a dashed good sort, Pitt."

  "You flatter me," said Jimmy. "I strive to please."

  "I say, Pitt, that yarn you told us just now--the bet, and all that.

  Honestly, you don't mean to say that was true, was it? I mean--By

  Jove! I've got an idea."

  "We live in stirring times!"

  "Did you say your actor pal's name was Mifflin?" He broke off

  suddenly before Jimmy could answer. "Great Scott!" he whispered.

  "What's that! Good lord! Somebody's coming!"

  He dived behind the curtain, like a rabbit. The drapery had only

  just ceased to shake when the door opened, and Sir Thomas Blunt

  walked in.

  CHAPTER XXVI

  STIRRING TIMES FOR SIR THOMAS

  For a man whose intentions toward the jewels and their owner were so

  innocent, and even benevolent, Jimmy was in a singularly

  compromising position. It would have been difficult even under more

  favorable conditions to have explained to Sir Thomas's satisfaction

  his presence in the dressing-room. As things stood, it was even

  harder, for his lordship's last action before seeking cover had been

  to fling the necklace from him like a burning coal. For the second

  time in
ten minutes, it had fallen to the carpet, and it was just as

  Jimmy straightened himself after picking it up that Sir Thomas got a

  full view of him.

  The knight stood in the doorway, his face expressing the most lively

  astonishment. His bulging eyes were fixed upon the necklace in

  Jimmy's hand. Jimmy could see him struggling to find words to cope

  with so special a situation, and felt rather sorry for him.

  Excitement of this kind was bad for a short-necked man of Sir

  Thomas's type.

  With kindly tact, he endeavored to help his host out.

  "Good-evening," he said, pleasantly.

  Sir Thomas stammered. He was gradually nearing speech.

  "What--what--what--" he said.

  "Out with it," said Jimmy.

  "--what--"

  "I knew a man once in South Dakota who stammered," said Jimmy. "He

  used to chew dog-biscuit while he was speaking. It cured him--

  besides being nutritious. Another good way is to count ten while

  you're thinking what to say, and then get it out quick."

  "You--you blackguard!"

  Jimmy placed the necklace carefully on the dressing-table. Then, he

  turned to Sir Thomas, with his hands thrust into his pockets. Over

  the knight's head, he could see the folds of the curtain quivering

  gently, as if stirred by some zephyr. Evidently, the drama of the

  situation was not lost on Hildebrand Spencer, twelfth Earl of

  Dreever.

  Nor was it lost on Jimmy. This was precisely the sort of situation

  that appealed to him. He had his plan of action clearly mapped out.

  He knew that it would be useless to tell the knight the true facts

  of the case. Sir Thomas was as deficient in simple faith as in

  Norman blood. Though a Londoner by birth, he had one, at least, of

  the characteristic traits of the natives of Missouri.

  To all appearances, this was a tight corner, but Jimmy fancied that

  he saw his way out of it. Meanwhile, the situation appealed to him.

  Curiously enough, it was almost identical with the big scene in act

  three of "Love, the Cracksman," in which Arthur Mifflin had made

  such a hit as the debonair burglar.

  Jimmy proceeded to give his own idea of what the rendering of a

  debonair burglar should be. Arthur Mifflin had lighted a cigarette,

  and had shot out smoke-rings and repartee alternately. A cigarette

  would have been a great help here, but Jimmy prepared to do his best

  without properties.

  "So--so, it's you, is it?" said Sir Thomas.

  "Who told you?"

  "Thief! Low thief!"

  "Come, now," protested Jimmy. "Why low? Just because you don't know

  me over here, why scorn me? How do you know I haven't got a big

  American reputation? For all you can tell, I may be Boston Billie or

  Sacramento Sam, or someone. Let us preserve the decencies of

  debate."

  "I had my suspicions of you. I had my suspicions from the first,

  when I heard that my idiot of a nephew had made a casual friend in

  London. So, this was what you were! A thief, who--"

  "I don't mind, personally," interrupted Jimmy, "but I hope, if ever

  you mix with cracksmen, you won't go calling them thieves. They are

  frightfully sensitive. You see! There's a world of difference

  between the two branches of the profession and a good deal of

  snobbish caste-prejudice. Let us suppose that you were an actor-

  manager. How would you enjoy being called a super? You see the idea,

  don't you? You'd hurt their feelings. Now, an ordinary thief would

  probably use violence in a case like this. But violence, except in

  extreme cases--I hope this won't be one of them--is contrary, I

  understand, to cracksman's etiquette. On the other hand, Sir Thomas,

  candor compels me to add that I have you covered."

  There was a pipe in the pocket of his coat. He thrust the stem

  earnestly against the lining. Sir Thomas eyed the protuberance

  apprehensively, and turned a little pale. Jimmy was scowling

  ferociously. Arthur Mifflin's scowl in act three had been much

  admired.

  "My gun," said Jimmy, "is, as you see, in my pocket. I always shoot

  from the pocket, in spite of the tailor's bills. The little fellow

  is loaded and cocked. He's pointing straight at your diamond

  solitaire. That fatal spot! No one has ever been hit in the diamond

  solitaire, and survived. My finger is on the trigger. So, I should

  recommend you not to touch that bell you are looking at. There are

  other reasons why you shouldn't, but those I will go into

  presently."

  Sir Thomas's hand wavered.

  "Do if you like, of course," said Jimmy, agreeably. "It's your own

  house. But I shouldn't. I am a dead shot at a yard and a half. You

  wouldn't believe the number of sitting haystacks I've picked off at

  that distance. I just can't miss. On second thoughts, I sha'n't fire

  to kill you. Let us be humane on this joyful occasion. I shall just

  smash your knees. Painful, but not fatal."

  He waggled the pipe suggestively. Sir Thomas blenched. His hand fell

  to his side.

  "Great!" said Jimmy. "After all, why should you be in a hurry to

  break up this very pleasant little meeting. I'm sure I'm not. Let us

  chat. How are the theatricals going? Was the duologue a success?

  Wait till you see our show. Three of us knew our lines at the dress-

  rehearsal."

  Sir Thomas had backed away from the bell, but the retreat was merely

  for the convenience of the moment. He understood that it might be

  injudicious to press the button just then; but he had recovered his

  composure by this time, and he saw that ultimately the game must be

  his. His face resumed its normal hue. Automatically, his hands began

  to move toward his coat-tails, his feet to spread themselves. Jimmy

  noted with a smile these signs of restored complacency. He hoped ere

  long to upset that complacency somewhat.

  Sir Thomas addressed himself to making Jimmy's position clear to

  him.

  "How, may I ask," he said, "do you propose to leave the castle?"

  "Won't you let me have the automobile?" said Jimmy. "But I guess I

  sha'n't be leaving just yet."

  Sir Thomas laughed shortly.

  "No," he said--"no! I fancy not. I am with you there!"

  "Great minds," said Jimmy. "I shouldn't be surprised if we thought

  alike on all sorts of subjects. Just think how you came round to my

  views on ringing bells. But what made you fancy that I intended to

  leave the castle?"

  "I should hardly have supposed that you would be anxious to stay."

  "On the contrary! It's the one place I have been in, in the last two

  years, that I have felt really satisfied with. Usually, I want to

  move on after a week. But I could stop here forever."

  "I am afraid, Mr. Pitt--By the way, an alias, of course?"

  Jimmy shook his head.

  "I fear not," he said. "If I had chosen an alias, it would have been

  Tressilyan, or Trevelyan, or something. I call Pitt a poor thing in

  names. I once knew a man called Ronald Cheylesmore. Lucky devil!"

  Sir Thomas returned to the point on which he had been about to

  touch.

  "
I am afraid, Mr. Pitt," he said, "that you hardly realize your

  position."

  "No?" said Jimmy, interested.

  "I find you in the act of stealing my wife's necklace--"

  "Would there be any use in telling you that I was not stealing it,

  but putting it back?"

  Sir Thomas raised his eyebrows in silence.

  "No?" said Jimmy. "I was afraid not. You were saying--?"

  "I find you in the act of stealing my wife's necklace," proceeded

  Sir Thomas, "and, because for the moment you succeed in postponing

  arrest by threatening me with a revolver--"

  An agitated look came into Jimmy's face.

  "Great Scott!" he cried. He felt hastily in his pocket.

  "Yes," he said; "as I had begun to fear. I owe you an apology, Sir

  Thomas," he went on with manly dignity, producing the briar, "I am

  entirely to blame. How the mistake arose I cannot imagine, but I

  find it isn't a revolver after all."

  Sir Thomas' cheeks took on a richer tint of purple. He glared dumbly

  at the pipe.

  "In the excitement of the moment, I guess--" began Jimmy.

  Sir Thomas interrupted. The recollection of his needless panic

  rankled within him.

  "You--you--you--"

  "Count ten!"

  "You--what you propose to gain by this buffoonery, I am at a loss--"

  "How can you say such savage things!" protested Jimmy. "Not

  buffoonery! Wit! Esprit! Flow of soul such as circulates daily in

  the best society."

  Sir Thomas almost leaped toward the bell. With his finger on it, he

  turned to deliver a final speech.

  "I believe you're insane," he cried, "but I'll have no more of it. I

  have endured this foolery long enough. I'll-"

  "Just one moment," said Jimmy. "I said just now that there were

  reasons besides the revol--well, pipe--why you should not ring that

  bell. One of them is that all the servants will be in their places

  in the audience, so that there won't be anyone to answer it. But

  that's not the most convincing reason. Will you listen to one more

  before getting busy?"

  "I see your game. Don't imagine for a moment that you can trick me."

  "Nothing could be further--"

  "You fancy you can gain time by talking, and find some way to

  escape--"

  "But I don't want to escape. Don't you realize that in about ten

  minutes I am due to play an important part in a great drama on the

  stage?"

  "I'll keep you here, I tell you. You'll leave this room," said Sir

 

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