He put a little space between them. “It was still my fault. Do you forgive me?”
She laughed it off with a sound that rang false even to her ears. “There’s nothing to forgive. It was just a kiss. Nothing more, right?” Except it had been so much more.
“Right.” He nodded, the sadness in his smile extending to his gaze. Then his smile widened, obviously forced. “I really don’t want this to be weird. I like you. I like being friends with you. But maybe that’s not possible between a man and a woman. Platonic friendship, I mean.”
“So you don’t have any female friends?”
“I do, but…” His gaze fixed on her, and the spark of interest she’d seen before returned. “None that I find as irresistibly sexy as you.”
She glanced down at herself. “Are you seeing the same things I’m seeing?”
He sighed and sat back down on his side of the hot tub. “I am. But apparently I have a much greater appreciation for them.”
She retreated to her seat, tucking her knees under her.
“What did your ex do to you to make you think so little of yourself?”
She blinked hard as sudden, unbidden tears welled. The fact that her emotions would choose this moment to turn on her made her laugh. She wiped at her eyes. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“He sounds like an idiot.”
She glanced at Alex. “I haven’t said anything about him.”
“Part of my job is profiling people. And for a man to have made a smart, talented, beautiful woman like you think that you’re somehow less than that, he had to be a controlling, narcissistic jerk who clearly didn’t appreciate you and most likely couldn’t handle being married to a woman who was more successful than he was.”
Her brows lifted slightly. Alex wasn’t far off.
He stood enough to lean over and grab the pitcher of lemonade. “Am I right?”
She nodded, then realized he wasn’t looking at her. Which gave her a chance to appreciate how fine he was this close up. “Yes.”
He refilled their glasses. “And that’s a big part of why you don’t want to get involved again, I’m sure.”
“Right again. At least, not until I’ve had a chance to figure out who the real me is. I’d rather it not be the me Thomas turned me into, but more like the woman I pretend to be when I’m at conferences and fan events. I want to be her all the time. I want to be that confident about every part of my life.”
He sat down and took a long drink. “I have to tell you, I don’t know what that woman is like, but the Roxy I know is pretty spectacular.”
“You’re very flattering.”
He shook his head. “I’m very truthful. And you probably haven’t heard a lot of truth from a man in a while.”
She sighed. “No, I haven’t. It’s going to take some getting used to.”
“Then I guess we’d better stay friends.”
She smiled. “You realize that means no more kissing.”
He snorted. “You’re not going to let me forget about that, are you?”
“That’s what friends do.” She lifted one shoulder. “That and the fact that it’s going to be a hard kiss to forget. It’s been a while.”
His expression turned wry. “For me too.” He lifted the tumbler toward her. “To being friends.”
She clinked hers against it. “To being friends.”
But the truth was, if the kissing happened again, she wasn’t going to complain. In fact, she might if it didn’t.
Using a level of willpower Alex hadn’t known he possessed, he somehow made it through the rest of the evening without kissing Roxy again. He stood at his door, watching her walk back to her house, her shoes dangling from one hand and her sundress clinging to the dampest parts of her.
If he’d had that same amount of willpower the first time, the kiss never would have happened, but he hadn’t. And he was damn glad about it.
Truth was, he’d been powerless against the sight of her. She’d been there in his hot tub, steam curling up around her like she was some mystical goddess, her skin glistening with water, her eyes big and deep and impossible to look away from, her little black bikini hugging curves that could make a grown man weep.
His shifter brain had been focused on one thing and one thing only. Claiming the female in front of him. It was a base, animalistic urge. One he’d barely fought back enough to ask her permission before he’d kissed her. Those urges weren’t something he was necessarily proud of, but he was getting used to fighting them when he was around her. And he had no regrets that he’d kissed her.
Even if they were just friends until the day they died, he’d savor that moment. It had felt, for the briefest span of time, that they were meant to be.
He knew that was impossible. She was human, of course. But that feeling had created a spark in him that he would have to work very hard to keep from exploding into a full-blown bonfire. Because he wanted to kiss her again.
He wouldn’t. But he wanted to.
As she disappeared into the dark, he closed his door, grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter and walked to his bedroom. He stared at himself in his bathroom mirror, wondering what he looked like to her. She seemed to think he was attractive. He tried to take care of himself. Sure, his shifter genes made that easier, but he liked to think he put more effort into it than the average Joe.
After all, he was a cop, and that meant being stronger and faster than the bad guys. He sighed and rolled his shoulders and tried to stop himself from caring what Roxy thought.
What did it matter? She wasn’t meant for him. And even if she were a supernatural, she’d been pretty clear about wanting time to herself. Who could blame her after the nightmare of her ex? The thought of anyone, especially a man who was supposed to love her, treating her that way made Alex’s hands curl into fists.
A guy like that needed to learn a few hard lessons about how women ought to be cared for. Alex heard a snarl and realized it had come from him. He’d shifted into his half form without intending to.
He started to shake it off, then thought differently. It was late and plenty dark. Diego wouldn’t be home until his shift was over. There was no reason not to go for a run.
Besides, it might be the only way he could get Roxy out of his head enough to actually sleep tonight.
Morning came sooner than Roxy would have liked, but she had too much to do to lounge around in bed. Unfortunately. Because staying under the covers and dreaming about her hot but off-limits neighbor would be a very enjoyable way to spend a day. Though not nearly as enjoyable as spending the day in bed with the actual man.
She got up and got moving, but thoughts of Alex stayed with her throughout the morning, even making her lose track of her yoga routine as she went through her sun salutations. She refocused on what move came next. The man was the most tantalizing distraction she’d run into in a long time.
Her writer’s brain couldn’t help but think that she’d moved in next door to one of her heroes come to life. Wouldn’t that be funny?
Hmm. She pushed back into downward-facing dog. There was a book idea. Paranormal romance writer moves to a new town only to discover the world she’s been writing about has become reality. She snorted. Maybe that should be her next series.
She stepped forward into a half bend. Alex would definitely make a great paranormal hero. What kind would he be, though? She didn’t really see him as a vampire. A werewolf maybe? She stretched her arms out, swooping them up to come to a standing position.
Not a werewolf. He was too…sleek for that. Sleek wasn’t the right word, exactly. He had enough of that sexy-feral thing going on to be a were, but he’d be something more slinky. More subtle. Sexier even than a werewolf. But just as dangerous.
She dropped her hands and bent to roll up her yoga mat. She hadn’t done a big-cat were in a while. Maybe she’d use Alex as the basis for a were-lion.
She nodded. That would be hot.
Then again, maybe writing what ess
entially would be fan fiction about her neighbor wasn’t the healthiest way to stop thinking about him.
She sighed as she tucked her yoga mat back into the closet and headed to the shower. Kissing him was definitely going to be used as inspiration, but the rest of him…the rest of him would stay tucked away in her head for her private fantasizing only.
That probably wasn’t super healthy either, but screw it. After all those years with Thomas, who could blame her for being attracted to a guy who treated her like she was a sexy, desirable woman?
She stripped off her workout clothes and stepped under the hot spray. The water beat down on her, the heat easing the muscles she’d just worked out.
What if the only reason she was attracted to Alex was because he was nice to her? Other than the fact that he was unbelievably sexy. The man was hot with a capital H. Or could her attraction be because he was so different than Thomas? Would she be attracted to any guy who was nice to her? Wasn’t there always a rebound guy? That could be all this was. She was getting excited about a nice guy simply because she hadn’t been around a nice guy in a long time.
She leaned her head under the spray and realized that was exactly why she wasn’t ready to get involved again. She couldn’t trust her emotions right now. Everything was still so raw and on the surface.
Being friends with Alex was fine, but that was absolutely where things had to stay.
By the time Undrea arrived, Roxy felt mostly back to rights. She left the woman alone with the tank and went off to the kitchen to fix some coffee.
Undrea walked into the kitchen as Roxy was putting the creamer back in the fridge. “The water’s perfect. I’m going to add some pajama wrasses, and we’ll see how they do for a week or so.”
“Sounds perfect. After all, I’m basically in my pajamas all day.”
Undrea laughed. “I do try to match the fish to their environment. Be right back.”
“Okay.” Roxy sipped her coffee. That tank was going to be amazing when it was done.
Undrea came back a few minutes later with a large bucket and good-sized box under one arm. “Did you know there’s a rose on your car?”
Roxy frowned. “A rose?”
Undrea nodded. “Yep. It’s tucked under your wipers.” She smiled. “You must have a secret admirer.”
Roxy made herself smile back while her belly went cold. “I’m sure that’s what it is. I’ll go get it.”
Undrea headed to the office as Roxy went outside. Sure enough, her driver’s side wiper pinned a single long-stemmed red rose against her windshield. There was no note that she could see. She checked the ground to make sure it hadn’t blown off, but it wasn’t that windy, and she already knew who it had come from.
Thomas.
The how was just as obvious. He must be in town. And he must have come by last night, seen her car in the driveway and done this. The why was a lot less clear. Did he think this kind of crazy was going to win her back?
Because in her mind, their marriage had been over a long time ago. Sure, he still needed to sign the papers to make the divorce final, but nothing was going to change her mind. Certainly not high school stunts like this.
She grabbed the rose and marched it over to the trash receptacle, stuffing it in the big green can.
The garage bay where her hybrid would eventually be parked was still filled with boxes of stuff she needed to unpack. Apparently, this was the universe’s way of telling her to get on it. Because there was no way she was parking the Vette outside to make room for the hybrid.
She shook her head at Thomas’s nonsense and went back inside.
Undrea stood at the end of the hall. “The fish are getting accustomed. I’ve got a drip line set up in the bucket. Should take about thirty minutes to an hour and they’ll be ready to go in. I’ve got another job to check on a couple houses over, but I’ll be back in time to get them swimming.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you when you get back.”
Undrea left, and although Roxy really wanted to watch the news while she finished her coffee, she decided to get some work done before Undrea returned. Because there was always something to do. And she needed to take her mind off of Thomas’s latest stunt.
But first she checked out her new fish in the big five-gallon bucket where they were getting used to the water in their new home. They were gorgeous—deep blue with brilliant orange stripes. She grinned, totally ready to see them in her tank.
Happy, she sat at her desk and got to work. She began by making a to-do list for the week, which was daunting in its length. Then she started answering the fan emails that had accumulated in the last few days. Twenty minutes later, she was working on another email to her assistant about the giveaway for the week.
She was halfway through the creation of a new teaser graphic when her doorbell rang. She got up from her desk and looked out the office window. Undrea’s van.
That had been a quick half an hour, but checking the time told her it had been more like forty-five minutes.
She glanced at the bucket holding the two wrasses. It was getting full. She hustled to let Undrea in.
Within minutes, Undrea had the colorful pair swimming in the tank.
Roxy clasped her hands to her chest. “They’re gorgeous. I could be happy with just the two of them.”
Undrea laughed. “Then you’re really going to like it when it’s fully stocked, but it’s good you like it with those two in there because it’ll be at least a week before I come back to add more.”
“And all I have to do is feed them?”
“Yep. The folder I gave you has all of that info, but you can always call me if you have any questions.”
“Great. Thank you so much.”
Undrea collected her bucket and dripline. “No problem. See you in a week.”
Roxy locked the door after Undrea left, then went to sit and watch her fish. It was just as peaceful as she remembered, and she smiled wistfully as she thought about her dad. He would have loved this tank.
Minutes slid by with the memories. At last, she got up and went back to work, this time to finally make some progress on her book.
She was just getting into the zone when her cell phone rang. Naturally. She didn’t recognize the number, but the area code was local. “Hello?”
“Ms. St. James?”
“Speaking.”
“Hi,” a very enthusiastic voice said. “I’m Agnes Miller. I own the bookstore in town, Bell, Book & Candle, and I am so excited that the Roxy St. James is now a resident of our little town. I hope you don’t mind that I bribed Birdie Caruthers into giving me your phone number, but I just had to talk to you and see what it would take to get you to do a book signing.”
Roxy was dumbstruck for a moment, then she went into author mode. Business was, after all, business, and booksellers were some of her favorite people. For now, she would overlook what Birdie had done, but made a note to say something to Alex about that not happening again. “I hope you mean Bell, Book & Candle as in the Jimmy Stewart movie.”
“The movie! Oh my gosh, I love you even more for knowing that. Please say you’d be willing to do a book signing here.”
Roxy took a breath. The woman’s enthusiasm was overwhelming, but very sweet. And impossible to say no to. “Of course I would. Did you have a date in mind? I’m still in the process of moving in, so my life is a little hectic at the moment.”
The woman let out a small, happy shriek. “That is so wonderful, thank you! I have a huge database of your fans that I can access. I can promise at least a hundred pre-solds, if not more.”
A hundred pre-solds? Roxy blinked in awe. “Wow. I had no idea.”
“Oh, yes. As soon as you put a new book out, I email my customer list and they reserve one. You know a lot of bookstores don’t carry your books.”
Roxy sighed. “It’s the curse of being indie published. But there’s not much I can do about it. Interesting about your list. I’ve seen big bumps in my print sales after a releas
e. I had no idea that was you.” She pretty much had to do the signing now.
“Yep, that’s me. I’ll get to work on this immediately. As for a date, it’ll take me about five days to get the books in, which corresponds nicely with the weekend of the Panic Parade, which is next weekend. The town gets flooded with tourists for that event, so we might as well take advantage of that and really crank up the walk-in sales.”
“Okay, sounds good.” She vaguely remember Delaney telling her about the parade. “Why don’t you email me the details?”
“Absolutely.” Agnes hesitated. “Is there any way you could come by today and sign the stock I have on hand?” She laughed nervously. “And so I could meet you in person?”
Roxy bit her lip. That meant another chunk of time she wouldn’t be writing. But this was part of the job. And necessary. “Sure, I’d love to. Two o’clock okay?”
“Perfect. Thank you so much. See you then!” Agnes hung up.
Roxy put the phone down and leaned back in her chair, then remembered the fish tank. She swung around and watched the wrasses darting in and out of the coral. Part of being an author was meeting fans and doing events.
But in a perfect world, Roxy would probably never leave the house. Oh, she could rock an appearance. On the outside. On the inside, she was a nervous mess who couldn’t wait to be home again, writing her books and living in the bubble of her own making.
She smiled as the wrasses did their thing, oblivious to their human observer. She was definitely more of an introvert than an extrovert, but then, so were most of the other writers she knew. At least today would just be meeting Agnes and signing stock. She’d have time to prepare for the big signing.
She checked the time. Maybe she could get her pages done before she left. She nodded. Sometimes deadlines were a good thing.
And meeting with Agnes would definitely be a good thing. Roxy loved her fans. They were the reason she worked as hard as she did. The reason she’d made enough money to leave Thomas and move here.
In fact, the more she thought about it, she decided a little trip to Delaney’s for a gift of chocolate for Agnes would be just the thing.
The Shifter Romances The Writer (Nocturne Falls Book 6) Page 8