But even if Joseph were a blacksmith or a barber, or anything else, Annabelle’s heart was too irrevocably damaged that she had nothing left to give anyone. And why should she? She’d lost too much to risk it again.
Another giggle rent the air. Another pang in Annabelle’s heart. For all her attempts not to care for the little girl, she couldn’t help but wish…
If Susannah had lived, she and Nugget could have been friends.
A tug at her line brought Annabelle’s attention back to where it should have been. This fish wasn’t as big as the other one, but it still took a good deal of strength to bring it in herself. But she wasn’t afraid of the work. Work had never scared her. The strength required to perform such tasks was nothing in comparison to the strength of will it took to handle everything else in her life. If only the rest of her life was so simple as physical labor.
“I’m impressed,” Joseph said over her shoulder as she finished bringing it in. “You should have asked for help.”
“And spoil the fun?” Annabelle grabbed the fish and pulled it off the hook. “I told you that I love to fish.”
The fish wiggled in her hands, and she tossed it in Joseph’s direction. “Want to take care of this one?”
“I’d be happy to. It’s the least I can do, since you’ve been so good as to provide dinner.”
She watched as he brought the fish to Nugget for them to clean. One more thing she had to appreciate about him. He didn’t coddle Nugget or treat her as less than capable because she was a girl.
“I’ll head back to the cabin and get the stove ready so we can cook the fish.”
Before she could turn back up the trail, Joseph stopped her. “We need to stick together, remember?”
Annabelle sighed. “You’re right.”
The look he gave her made her feel only marginally better. How, in all of this, had she forgotten that there was a man out there who wanted to harm Nugget? For a moment, she’d gotten lost in the joy of fishing and forgotten that they were all in very real danger.
A bird cried out, and Annabelle watched as it turned circles in the sky. As high up as they were, sheer cliffs still surrounded them from all directions. Trapped. And with night closing in, the only option they had was to remain united.
She gave another deep inhale before opening her eyes and looking back up at the cliffs.
Along the top of the ridge, something flashed. Like a light, only not so bright. Like a reflection. Was it the man who’d tried to take Nugget?
“Joseph?” She tried to keep her voice modulated, not betraying the worry and fear that would frighten a little girl.
He must’ve sensed the edge in her voice, because he murmured something to Nugget, then stepped right beside Annabelle before quietly saying, “Is something the matter?”
“Look up at the cliff to the north. Just past my right shoulder. There’s a flash of…something.” She gazed at him, watching his face as he searched the spot.
“Is it silver?”
If he had been her brother, she’d have slugged him in the arm. Hard. Silver. Because that’s all the people around here wanted to see. Joseph’s sister was in danger, and all his mind could conjure was silver.
“If it were silver, dozens of miners would have found it by now. I’m worried that it might be someone watching us. Like the man who tried taking Nugget.”
At her words, he stilled. Hopefully realizing that chasing after silver was foolishness in comparison to Nugget’s life.
“I’m going to take a closer look. We’ll return to the cabin. Once you two are safely inside, I’ll see what I can find.”
Annabelle’s heart thudded against her chest. “I thought we were supposed to stay together. I can’t protect Nugget by myself.”
He stared at her. Long and hard. Like he thought her words were more foolish than the thought of an inexperienced man going after a child-stealing bandit.
“Don’t go acting soft and feminine on me now. I know better. You are way more capable than you let on. I have no doubt that if someone came to the cabin, you could absolutely handle it on your own.”
Annabelle swallowed. His stare bore into her as if once again he saw deeper into her soul than even God. He was right. No one would harm Nugget. She’d already lost a precious child on her watch. Disease was something she couldn’t see coming, and she couldn’t stop once it came. But a man… Annabelle straightened her back.
“I could,” she finally told him. “But I don’t like it.”
Then, because she couldn’t let his foolishness pass without a remark, she looked him up and down. “You, on the other hand, I have serious doubts about. You don’t know this land. And the type of men you’re liable to come across…”
“You think I’m weak.” The word came out as a slap in the face. No, no one could accuse this man of being weak.
“I think you’re green, which is different from being weak. Out here, being green gets a man killed.”
A sly smile slid across his face. “Does this mean Miss Annabelle Lassiter is worried about me?”
Oh! He was insufferable! “Fine, then. Take your chances.” She spun and strode over to where Nugget was finishing with the fish.
Annabelle smiled at the little girl and pretended to inspect Nugget’s handiwork while ignoring Joseph’s soft chuckle. Had she said he was insufferable?
“You did a nice job, Nugget. We’ll have a wonderful supper tonight.” Annabelle picked up the fish. “Let’s go back to the cabin and see what kind of feast we can prepare.”
The little girl giggled. “My papa used to say that when we finally got our mine in production, we’d have a feast every night. I didn’t know he was talking about fish.”
More false silver dreams. Annabelle swallowed the bitterness that rose up and smiled. “I’m sure he was talking about a different kind of feast, but I think this’ll do just as good.”
Nugget rewarded her with a heartbreakingly sweet smile. “You sound like my mama. Mama said we didn’t need no feast, just each other.”
Scary to be compared to a woman of ill-repute. Only, the more Nugget talked about her, the more Annabelle had to question that judgment, as well. Nugget’s mother sounded almost nice, like the sort of person she might be friends with. Except, of course, for the sinful life she led. Which only made Annabelle wonder more. She’d always lumped sinners into a pile, where their badness made them almost intolerable. She’d never taken the time to consider that they might have good qualities, as well.
Her father would have probably given her a sermon on the topic—that all are sinners and fall short of the glory of God. But the ladies at church said that some sinners were worse than others. Only now she had to begin to wonder which sin truly was the worst—the way they treated a sweet girl like Nugget and her mother, who seemed like she was a nice person—or the life Nugget’s mother led.
Annabelle tripped over a rock, stumbling, but managed to catch herself and save the fish.
“Are you all right?” Joseph grabbed her to steady her, then looked into her eyes.
How could he have known where her thoughts were going? “I’m fine,” she said, then continued on the path.
If she wanted to condemn those who condemned Nugget’s mother for being what she was, then she also had to look at her own judgments of people. Like Joseph. Like being upset at miners for vainly pursuing silver at the expense of all else.
Her father had once told her that he wanted to share real treasure with the miners, and that it was his duty to love them where they were at. That there was nothing wrong with pursuing a dream as long as you didn’t forget the highest prize.
Annabelle sighed. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Joseph or even miners. But it was the only defense she had against the pain of what would be the inevitable loss.
Nugget giggled at something Joseph said to her. The little girl, and yes, even her brother, had already wormed their way into her heart. But if she could leave soon, surely the pain would be bearable.
It would certainly be more tolerable than prolonging the acquaintance. The longer she was with them, the more the parting would tear at her.
Chapter Nine
Joseph stuffed the paper-wrapped fish in his pocket. True to her word, Annabelle had made their dinner a feast. He hated leaving so late, but Annabelle had refused to let him leave without food in his belly.
Annabelle handed him the shotgun they’d found buried under one of the floorboards. “I think you should take this.”
“I’ve never been much of a shot.” He stared at the gun, knowing that if he had to come up against the kidnapper, he wouldn’t stand a chance.
Joseph closed his eyes and offered a silent prayer. He had to keep Annabelle and Nugget safe.
“What are you going to do when you meet up with whoever’s out there? Invite them to church? Even my father doesn’t venture out of town unarmed. When I agreed to the plan of you investigating, I assumed you at least knew how to protect yourself.”
Which was the nice way of her saying he was the biggest fool ever. “What do we do about what we saw on the cliff?”
She inclined her head over to Nugget, who was bent over one of Pa’s books. “We can’t do much of anything. We have Nugget to keep safe. At least, with the way the cabin is positioned, we’ll know they’re coming before they get here.”
Annabelle held up the gun and said, “I’m pretty good with targets, but it’s not as though I’ve ever shot a person before.”
If only Mary could see him now. She’d probably love the fact that he had a whole list of things a girl could do better than he. No, not a girl. Annabelle.
“We do have the strength of the Lord. Why don’t you pray for us?”
Except Annabelle didn’t rise up to his challenge. Instead, her face fell, and she started to turn away. “Sorry, I can’t.”
He reached for her shoulder. “Please. Annabelle. Stop turning away from me, and just face it.”
Her shoulders fell, and she slowly turned back to face him. A single tear ran down her cheek.
This Annabelle, this Annabelle he knew. It was the sad girl he’d seen try to hide at her father’s house.
“Please don’t tell anyone,” she whispered.
“Tell anyone what?”
Another tear trickled down her cheek. He wanted to reach out to wipe it away, but feared that if he did, it would give her reason to run away again.
“I can’t pray, Joseph. God doesn’t hear my prayers.” She closed her eyes, then her shoulders rose and fell again before she opened them and looked at him. “I’m a preacher’s daughter, and God doesn’t listen to my prayers. If anyone knew…”
The expression skittering across her face reminded him of one of the rabbits they caught in traps. She truly believed that people learning of her lack of faith would be the end of everything.
“Have you talked to your father about this?”
“No!” Annabelle took a step back. “And you can’t tell him, either. It would kill him to know that after all he’s done to save others, his own daughter doesn’t believe.”
His heart broke at the way her face twisted in pain. From his own faith journey, and how his family battled against Christian do-gooders, even if he did tell her father, it wouldn’t make a difference in what Annabelle believed. She had to learn to believe on her own.
“Then I’ll pray for us,” he said quietly. “And I’ll pray for you.”
“Please don’t waste your words on my account,” she said, then turned to clean up the remains of dinner.
This time, he gave her the space she required. He’d seen farther into Annabelle’s heart than she’d even allowed her father to see. With that, he had to believe that there was hope for Annabelle. Maybe even for him and Annabelle to be friends.
If there was silver, and the threat against them seemed to indicate there must be, then maybe he’d move his family out here. It would be good for Mary to have a woman friend her own age.
He smiled at the thought of Annabelle and Mary becoming friends. They both shared the same deep convictions and inner strength he so admired.
He glanced over at Nugget, engrossed in one of their pa’s books. “What are you reading?”
“Papa’s words.” A sad look crossed Nugget’s face. “I miss Papa. He would’ve made the bad men on the cliff go away.”
So much for trying to keep Nugget out of this. “What do you know about the bad men on the cliff?”
Nugget shrugged, then hugged the book closer to her.
“They want Papa’s silver.”
He wished the little girl was old enough to tell him about more than just that their father had silver.
“Can you tell me anything about Papa’s silver?” Joseph sat next to her on the bed, but she scooted away.
“No.” Nugget hugged the book closer to her. “It’s a secret.”
Joseph sighed. She was just a child. She probably didn’t know much anyway.
“It’s all right. You don’t have to tell your secret. Come here, and I’ll read to you.”
This time, Nugget rewarded him with a grin and fell into his arms. He breathed in her soft little-girl scent, cuddling her.
Since he wasn’t going to be able to marry and have children himself, he had to enjoy these moments with his sister and cherish them as his own. Mary would call him daft, but she could someday have a family of her own. He would do that much for the sister he’d left behind to care for the others while he hunted for their pa. After the abuse she’d suffered at Aunt Ina’s hands while protecting their siblings, well, he owed her. If only he’d known before he’d left just how bad it would be for them. One more reason to be angry at his father.
He caught Annabelle’s soft humming as she cleaned up the remainder of their dinner. It was almost enough for him to be able to lose himself in the fantasy of having a real family. It’d be nice to have a woman who loved him to take care of them, and a sweet child of their own to love. But Annabelle wasn’t his wife, and Nugget wasn’t his daughter.
Margaret had been right about why he’d make a terrible husband. He was too busy with the family he already had to start one of his own. It was a good thing Annabelle had refused his proposal. He could rest with a clear conscience knowing he’d done the honorable thing, but also with the relief that he wasn’t forcing a good woman like Annabelle to give up whatever it was she dreamed of.
“Read!” Nugget lifted her head and handed him the book she’d been looking at.
The Bible. Fitting, considering his prayers and Annabelle’s confession. Maybe, as he shared the sacred words with his sister, Joseph would find some answers.
But as he opened the first pages, he realized the same thing he’d seen in his pa’s other books. His pa had been using it to write his own notes.
Joseph started reading the opening lines to the book, but as the words swirled around in his brain, all he could think about was how they connected. His heart raced. The mines—his pa had secretly written the key to finding his treasure within the pages.
“Joseph!” Nugget tugged on his arm. “More!”
He patted the little girl’s head and continued reading about Joseph in Egypt. Later, when Nugget went to sleep, he’d decode his pa’s mystery.
Annabelle listened to the soft sound of Joseph reading to Nugget. It was peaceful, being in the cabin with Joseph and Nugget. For the first time since meeting them, her heart didn’t hurt. Strange.
She put the last dish back in the crate. Maddie would tsk over her reddened hands when she got home tomorrow, but if that was the worst Maddie could find fault with, it would be worth it. Funny how as much as she’d been longing to go back east to visit Aunt Celeste, she couldn’t think of a more contented moment than now.
It had grown dark, and the last remnants of light faded from the one tiny window the cabin had allowed. Their lamps would make them easy targets for intruders, but she couldn’t bear to spoil the special time Nugget and Joseph were having. If only she had been given more s
imilar moments with her own baby sister.
But she couldn’t. All she could do was give that time to Joseph and Nugget.
Annabelle turned down the rest of the lamps, conserving oil, and making their presence as unobtrusive as possible.
“Everything all right?” Joseph paused in his reading.
“Fine,” she said. “Everything’s fine.”
She stood at the corner of the window, looking at the dark landscape. The bandits could be anywhere, and she wouldn’t see them. The door was already bolted, but would it be enough? She spied a large barrel in the corner. Against the door, it would be an additional barrier.
Annabelle started pushing the barrel.
“Let me help.”
“I can do it. Nugget—”
“Is asleep.” Joseph had come alongside her, and together they pushed the barrel in front of the door. Even in the darkness, she could see his smile. Sometimes she wished she could have his same calm attitude. With all that he lost, how was it that his burden would be so light?
Having Nugget must make it easier.
Annabelle leaned against the door. Wisdom said they should rest. But what if the men came during the night?
“Why don’t you take the bed with Nugget, and I’ll make a pallet on the floor? We should both get some rest.”
She hated the way he could read her mind sometimes. It reminded her too much of how her father and mother had been together. Finishing each other’s sentences, often so alike that…well, that didn’t describe Annabelle and Joseph at all. Not only did they have no future together due to his mining ambition, but he wasn’t the sort of man she could fall in love with. Why, she didn’t even like Joseph.
Something tickled her on the back of the neck as a small voice reminded her that telling falsehoods was a sin. Fine, then. She mostly didn’t like Joseph. Sometimes, like when he was caring for Nugget, he could almost be all right. Not that her admission made the tickle go away.
Annabelle looked around the cabin. No sense in thinking about Joseph, not now. Not with all the other things they had to worry about.
Love Inspired Historical November 2014 Page 79